Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office (page 65)

Assistant to the Regional Manager, beet farmer, volunteer sheriff's deputy.

7,537 quotes · page 65 of 76

1. Yes.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52300

2. There he is. That's Lloyd.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52302

3. That's true.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52310

4. Wait, no? Are you kidding me? You told me there was a rule. I could've choked so many people by now.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52313

5. Chair, lamp, plant, table leg, Jim's leg.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52320

6. Okay, what are you deciding? We get a say.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52333

7. Don't listen to him.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52335

8. Nope.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52337

9. Prestige is ours. Okay, they're responsible for half of the junk mail on the eastern seaboard. We get them. We already put a call into them, Robert.

   Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52339

10. Make a decision.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52341

11. Jim, you know what would be really dastardly? If we snuck out of here and got to the client first.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52346

12. Damn it!

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52348

13. Wha ' what is this supposed to be?

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52350

14. Jim, great real. This is not a monkey. It's got a hula skirt and a blue nose.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52352

15. What?

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52354

16. It's him! Do something! Get out!

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52356

17. Go slash his tires! Go dent his hood. That's it? Oh, that's great. That's like a five second delay.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52358

18. Come on, let's go! Does this thing have turbo? Nitrous? Hit the nos.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52360

19. Yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52362

20. Hit the nos.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52364

21. Yes.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52366

22. Got it. Go.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52368

23. Ready? Go! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52398

24. Ahhh!

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52399

25. Yeah. Oh.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52401

26. Go, go! Take the stairs! Now!

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52404

27. Just run! Take the stairs!

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52406

28. I'll stall him. Go!

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52408

29. I'm gonna activate the seismic failsafe. We'll be stuck between floors for hours. Oh. My pants fell down.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52411

30. My pants fell down! I don't have a belt!

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52413

31. Hello, sir. Good day. Dwight K. Schrute. Dunder Mifflin, Scranton. Forgive my pants, they fell down. An appointment with Mr. Ramish, please. Right now is fine. No, no, no, I was here first. Dwight K. Schrute. Dunder Mifflin, Scranton.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52414

32. Well '

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52416

33. I was here first.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52418

34. I already made an appointment' with your secretary.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52420

35. Wait, it's not D.M Utica, is it?

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52422

36. Me too. Or do you also have a monopoly on thirst?

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52428

37. No. Let him get his own. It's Syracuse money.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52430

38. Jim couldn't land me in a thousand years.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52432

39. Shut up.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52434

40. What?

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52496

41. How have we never talked about this before? Wait. You don't even care about nationals.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52498

42. He's searching out younger gays.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52506

43. ...with you.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52509

44. You okay, Robert?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52522

45. Put some ice on it.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52524

46. I wanted to give a nice gift to the tenants in the building. At first I thought, 'muffin basket.' Then I thought, 'What's even more precious to people than muffins?'

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52527

47. ...their own children.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52530

48. Hey everybody, just a few hours left for the free family portrait studio. Darryl. We'd love to see little Jada come by. Angela? Why don't you bring by your little angel?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52531

49. Jim, you've got those two cute kids. We sure would love to see them.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52533

50. Wha-? Damn it, Jim!

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52536

51. Great, right up there.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52596

52. Up here.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52615

53. Jim, right here, right here. Okay, good.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52617

54. That's it.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52619

55. Cute kids, thanks for coming.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52621

56. Well, well, well. Senator Lipton, welcome. Angela.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52629

57. Nice to see you. May I hold him?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52631

58. Okay, hold on for a second, folks. A few of the baby's hairs are out of place.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52636

59. Really?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52639

60. Okay, here we go. Oh, you know what? I don't want to throw a wrench in the works, but I want everything to be perfect and the baby's fingernails are just bothering me-

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52650

61. Okay, great. Suit yourself. Although, are those excess skin cells on the baby's cheek distracting to you as well?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52653

62. He defecated, aw.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52658

63. Is this what you were looking for? Huh? Huh?

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52679

64. Operation Phoenix is a go. Just get the car ready.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52714

65. Hello.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52786

66. They're testing it now.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52788

67. Seventy-two hours.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52790

68. Yes.

    Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52792

69. How was my summer? It was pretty mixed. I invented a new power drink made out of beet runoff. Mmm, mmm! So that's really good. But I got some disappointing medical news.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52800

70. I don't see it.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52859

71. Yes, yes I am.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52862

72. In a way it's like I have a son. And who knows? Maybe someday they'll hire someone who looks like a younger version of him. And then I'll have a grandson.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52864

73. Good boy, getting big and strong. Snack foods!

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52886

74. Ah, humor. I have it too. I have a couple tickets to the slayer concert 10 months from now. You interested?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52888

75. Well, we're both just kinda learning as we go, aren't we?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52890

76. Just how this going to be, you know? You have a beautiful round head.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52892

77. So what kind of farming you into, huh? You more of a fruit man or a root man?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52894

78. Spoken like a true root man.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52896

79. My calls?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52898

80. You want a list of my clients? You want my leads?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52900

81. Ok

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52902

82. With my leads and stuff like that?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52904

83. Cause you're interested in going into sales?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52906

84. Wow, that's great. That's great. Ok, good, let's talk about that, ok?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52908

85. You're not getting my clients! Nice try.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52910

86. Paranoid? I'm not familiar with the word. And I really don't have time to learn new words right now, ok? A pudgy 22-year-old is trying to take my job.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52911

87. Jim, get ready for the battle of your life.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52912

88. The new guys. Dwight Jr is after my job. Yeah. There is a shark hiding inside that adorable little cherub.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52914

89. Wait, sales'what sales meeting?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52916

90. The new guys called a sales meeting?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52918

91. There's no belt above black. Is there a belt above black?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52920

92. Boo, unimpressed. It's a tightrope for babies. Boo!

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52959

93. Ok, I am just getting started, ok?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52963

94. That's not true. Just give me another chance.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52966

95. What?

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52969

96. This is a stupid activity. I would be embarrassed to be good at it. Idiots.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52971

97. Slack lining, please. Untie that rope, give it to a couple of pig-tailed school girls, let them start jumping with it while chanting a rhyme and giggling about boys. Doesn't seem so macho now, does it? It's a jump rope!

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52972

98. Pam? Hey come up here, up the ladder. Come on.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52974

99. Come here, I'll show you.

    Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52976

100. Do you see how the trapeze completely surrounds the wire? That means it's literally impossible for anyone to fall off. So you will merely sit below and be my counterweight as I pedal across the parking lot to that telephone pole.

     Season 9 · Episode 1 · Quote 52984