thedundies.com

Creed Bratton Quotes from The Office

Quality assurance, allegedly.

456 quotes · page 1 of 5

  1. Huh?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3712

  2. What are you telling me?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3715

  3. No, I don't. I wanna stay right here.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3717

  4. No, I wanna stay here.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3719

  5. Um, I think there's a misunderstanding, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3721

  6. Can I go?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3723

  7. Let's fight it.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3725

  8. Let's call Jan and fight this thing together like the old days.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3727

  9. Did you start the paperwork yet?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3729

  10. You don't have to do this, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3731

  11. Undo it!

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3733

  12. No, you have the power to undo it.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3735

  13. Michael, undo it!

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3737

  14. Fine. Fire someone else. Fire Devon. He's terrible. I am so much better at my job than Devon.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3741

  15. No, no, no, no, no, no. I will forget so fast. You will be my savior. You're they guy who gave me my life back. Thank you. I knew you'd see it my way Michael. God Bless you. You're a fine man.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3743

  16. Listen, you will not regret this either. Devon is terrible; No one's gonna miss him. Good, good, good.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3745

  17. No, no. I had some, thanks.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3814

  18. Fifteen years, I think.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3816

  19. Oh, no. I need the money.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3818

  20. What do you mean, 'Why?'

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3820

  21. I don't know. I got nephews.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3822

  22. Yeah. Yeah. And I buy them stuff, you know. Oh, made some bad investments. Why are you asking me this?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3824

  23. Well, you never asked me about my life before, is all.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3826

  24. Do you have something specific you wanted to talk to me about?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3828

  25. No.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3830

  26. I do not.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3832

  27. You know, guys, Michael has really incredible decision-making abilities. Michael's really incredible at making decisions.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3857

  28. Uh, Michael, he wasn't inferring, he was implying. You were inferring.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4669

  29. That's from me.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5388

  30. I don't know. It was so long ago.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5390

  31. Yep. That's exactly what happened.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5392

  32. Oh, no.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5571

  33. Okay.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5590

  34. Okay, okay.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5592

  35. Your shower radio.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5640

  36. I love it. I actually used to have a radio show back in the '70s.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5642

  37. Whacky-weed Creed.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Line 5644

  38. Do you want me to give it a shot? Just...

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5950

  39. I...

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5952

  40. I don't know, let's try.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5954

  41. All right.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5956

  42. Guys, E, blues. Follow me, okay?

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5958

  43. Back in the '60s, I was with the Grass Roots. We toured with Janis Joplin, The Doors, Cream. We had a lot of fun, And now I do quality assurance for a paper company. As you can imagine, drugs played a part. They still do. My work calls last about 90 seconds, and that's about as long as I can concentrate.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5960

  44. When I was a teenager, I was in an iron lung.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6147

  45. Oh ho! Which one is Pam?

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6601

  46. Oh, I thought that was more on a volunteer basis.

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6648

  47. Oh, I thought it was a volunteer thing.

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6650

  48. Hi guys. Somebody makin' soup?

    Season 2 · Episode 14 · Line 6754

  49. What did you hit me for?

    Season 2 · Episode 14 · Line 6810

  50. What?

    Season 2 · Episode 14 · Line 6812

  51. You shouldn't have hit me, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 14 · Line 6814

  52. Who do you think did it?

    Season 2 · Episode 14 · Line 6886

  53. Really? I thought you.

    Season 2 · Episode 14 · Line 6888

  54. Sure. He hired me. How's he doing?

    Season 2 · Episode 14 · Line 6916

  55. I thought you might.

    Season 2 · Episode 14 · Line 6918

  56. Michael, you should have much bigger fears than that.

    Season 2 · Episode 14 · Line 6920

  57. Okay, you take it easy, ace.

    Season 2 · Episode 16 · Line 7573

  58. Hey, thanks, ace.

    Season 2 · Episode 16 · Line 7575

  59. I'm not good with names.

    Season 2 · Episode 16 · Line 7576

  60. Ryan!

    Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7622

  61. Jimmy, listen to me. You do not want to go to Amsterdam. Trust me.

    Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7721

  62. I'd send you to Hong Kong.

    Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7723

  63. Like to say 'Hi' to my friends in China.

    Season 2 · Episode 17 · Line 7724

  64. That is correct.

    Season 2 · Episode 18 · Line 8008

  65. Hi kids.

    Season 2 · Episode 18 · Line 8010

  66. Have you ever seen a foot with four toes?

    Season 2 · Episode 18 · Line 8012

  67. Th-the hair covers it, mostly.

    Season 2 · Episode 18 · Line 8015

  68. Kids, kids, kids, slow down.

    Season 2 · Episode 18 · Line 8181

  69. That is Northern Lights Cannabis Indica.

    Season 2 · Episode 20 · Line 8531

  70. I have some hemp ropes at my house, they're really strong...

    Season 2 · Episode 20 · Line 8722

  71. Great.

    Season 2 · Episode 21 · Line 8846

  72. Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door?

    Season 2 · Episode 21 · Line 8902

  73. I know exactly what he's talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious. But they smell like death.

    Season 2 · Episode 21 · Line 8924

  74. There's a great soup kitchen in downtown Scranton. Delicious pea soup on Thursdays. I'll probably give the money to them.

    Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9127

  75. Who has AIDS?

    Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9144

  76. Oh, I steal things all the time. It's just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago. You should see how many supplies I've taken from this place. Honestly, I love stealing things.

    Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9267

  77. Thanks. I never owned a refrigerator.

    Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9401

  78. : I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the sixties I made love to many many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain. And it was possible a man slipped in, and there would be no way of knowing.

    Season 3 · Episode 1 · Line 9592

  79. There's my girl. I noticed you handing out some shekels. How would one get on that train?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9726

  80. Andrea's the office bitch. You'll get used to her. Creed.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9730

  81. I'm just looking.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10217

  82. In a minute.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10219

  83. Four nights a week, I sleep under my desk, and then three nights I stay at my place in Toronto. They don't know about this job up there. It's a welfare state. Beautiful countries, both of 'em.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10265

  84. It's a real shame about Ed, huh?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10341

  85. About what?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10343

  86. Ed was decapitated.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10345

  87. He was drunk as a skunk, he was flying down Route 6. He slides under an 18 wheeler. Pop. It snaps right off.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10348

  88. You know a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10351

  89. What did I say?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10353

  90. I have. That's the 'Union of the Monkey'.

    Season 3 · Episode 6 · Line 10973

  91. Ditto that, my brother.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11728

  92. Right place at the right time.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11733

  93. Baby. Hello baby. Here you want to play with this?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12152

  94. Oh, it's okay. I've got tons of them. You like that? Goo-goo-goo-goo?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Line 12154

  95. That's crazy. It's crazy.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12249

  96. And a happy holiday to you.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12282

  97. Spinnin' n reelin with love. Give it the time, I might come back down. But it feels so good. My feet don't touch the ground. Wha..wha..wild. Wha..wha..wild. Well everybody knows, I'm crazy about 'ya...

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12657

  98. I don't care which party I go to. Once you've danced naked at a hash bonfire with the spirits of the dead, all parties seem pretty much the same.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12725

  99. Did he actually give you some ganja?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13018

  100. You want some?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13020