Kevin Malone Quotes from The Office

Accountant, band frontman, chili enthusiast.

1,708 quotes · page 1 of 18

1. Yeah, it'll be you.

   Season 1 · Episode 1 · Quote 69

2. I don't wanna be laid off. This is a good job for me. 'Cause I need my nights free. I'm in a band.

   Season 1 · Episode 1 · Quote 250

3. I remember.

   Season 1 · Episode 2 · Quote 341

4. Basically, there are two types of black people and black people are actually more racist because they hate the other type of black people. Every time the one type wants to have a good time, then the other type comes in and makes a real mess.

   Season 1 · Episode 2 · Quote 345

5. It was kind of hard to hear.

   Season 1 · Episode 2 · Quote 389

6. Hey.

   Season 1 · Episode 2 · Quote 445

7. You wanna go to the beach?

   Season 1 · Episode 2 · Quote 447

8. You wanna get high?

   Season 1 · Episode 2 · Quote 449

9. I think you do, mon.

   Season 1 · Episode 2 · Quote 451

10. [Itialian accent]Maybe some spagh-etti.

    Season 1 · Episode 2 · Quote 460

11. He's got to come out sometime. To go to the bathroom.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 656

12. What are you guys talking about?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 676

13. That's a real thing.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 790

14. Someone has it.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 792

15. Do you think we should go ?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 793

16. What is he doing?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 795

17. Italian.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 972

18. Yeah.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 974

19. Their bread's really good.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 981

20. I have a hoop in my driveway.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1322

21. I can't work Saturday.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1507

22. I'm in a band.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1509

23. It's a Steve Miller Tribute Band.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1511

24. So are you jealous 'cause there's another girl around?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1626

25. She's prettier than you though.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1628

26. [nods]

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1630

27. What is your type?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1672

28. Stay away from my mom.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1675

29. Do you like Steve Miller?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1973

30. Cause I'm in a Steve Miller Tribute... Tribute Band.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1975

31. Oh, just put these on the group tab.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2112

32. I think his characters are pretty funny. Especially Ping.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2294

33. So, Pam, I wonder who's gonna get 'longest engagement' this year.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2342

34. I wonder what I'll get. I brought my fiance.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2344

35. MILF!

    Season 2 · Episode 2 · Quote 2504

36. She wasn't that hot.

    Season 2 · Episode 2 · Quote 2531

37. Phyllis?

    Season 2 · Episode 2 · Quote 2656

38. Packer said it.

    Season 2 · Episode 2 · Quote 2660

39. You mean where my desk is?

    Season 2 · Episode 2 · Quote 2666

40. Okay. I have a lot of work to do anyway.

    Season 2 · Episode 2 · Quote 2668

41. Did you see that?

    Season 2 · Episode 2 · Quote 2693

42. You can see her...

    Season 2 · Episode 2 · Quote 2695

43. How do you know?

    Season 2 · Episode 2 · Quote 2697

44. Ooh.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2792

45. Or when we're bored.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2803

46. We're bored a lot.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2805

47. Oh!

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2807

48. We call it Hate Ball.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2810

49. Because of how much Angela hates it.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2812

50. Sometimes we play 'Who can put the most M&M's in their mouth?'

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2814

51. It smells like cookies.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2848

52. [empties bowl of M&M's into his mouth]

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2910

53. All right.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3017

54. Yes, thank you.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3019

55. Please...

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3022

56. Please, please. Please.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3024

57. Present company excluded?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Quote 3303

58. Pam.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Quote 3305

59. What if he dies in the fire? And that's the last thing you ever said to him.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Quote 3364

60. [clears his throat]

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Quote 3376

61. Was it worth it?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Quote 3433

62. Sixty-three, sixty-four, sixty-five, sixty-six, sixty-seven, sixty-eight. Sixty-nine. Seventy. Seventy-one, seventy-two, seventy-three.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Quote 3470

63. Uh, Cannonball Run, Cannonball Run II, Weekend at Bernie's, Weekend at Bernie's II, and, oh, Groundhog Day.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Quote 3488

64. Really?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Quote 3491

65. I would love that.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Quote 3493

66. Yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3566

67. Yeah. Oh.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Quote 3600

68. Stacy.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 3930

69. Sweep the leg.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4068

70. Later Jim.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4092

71. Don't look at me.

    Season 2 · Episode 6 · Quote 4159

72. Michael's movie? Two thumbs down. Heh.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4352

73. Most of that is good.

    Season 2 · Episode 7 · Quote 4448

74. I heard they made out and had sex.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4581

75. Well, I heard they made out

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4583

76. Romances?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4585

77. Oooo.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4609

78. Michael, should I call the... What?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4901

79. I gotta erase a lotta stuff. A lot of stuff.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4942

80. That's pretty young.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4973

81. Are you gonna eat with us?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4975

82. My brother is in town and we are going to see the Alaska Film Festival at the Scien-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5033

83. Oh.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5035

84. Not so fast... Fire Guy.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5147

85. Just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5161

86. Why don't you turn it up? Uh! Not so fast... Fire Guy. Think we need some more heat, Fire Guy? Hey, Fire Guy, maybe we should burn Jim's house down.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5297

87. Hey, Kelly; I called him Fire Guy.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5299

88. Yeah... hey Stanley-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5301

89. It never gets old.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 5304

90. Well, sort of. Why did you get it so big?

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5324

91. But what are we going to do with this hacked off part?

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5326

92. Do we have one?

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5342

93. I got myself for Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn't.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5359

94. Should we just keep opening up the presents?

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5411

95. I want the foot bath.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5458

96. That's the thing I bought myself. I'm really psyched to use it. Maybe I should have taken the iPod. Oh, shoot.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5459

97. Kevin Malone.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5515

98. Yeahhh.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5561

99. Mine.

    Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5568

100. Thanks for the party, Michael.

     Season 2 · Episode 10 · Quote 5576