Schrute Farms: Every Line from The Office

Dwight

Dunder Mifflin, Dwight Schrute. Please hold. Schrute Farms, guten tag. How can I help you? Yes, we have availability on those nights. How many in your party? Oh no, I'm sorry, no king beds. No queen either. Well, we make our own mattresses that don't conform to the traditional sizes. Closest would be twin. Thank you so much for calling. Call back again. Aufedersein!

Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18783

Dwight

Here we are, the Irrigation Room! A very special room. So I'll come get you before the table-making demonstration. And as of this morning, we are completely wireless here in Schrute Farms. But as soon as I find out where Mose hid all the wires, we'll get that power back on. All righty.

Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18853

Ryan

Dwight Schrute man. How's Schrute Farms?

Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21238

Andy

I found it. I found the perfect place. A local bed-and-breakfast on a 60-acre beet farm. And even better, I have an in with the owner. Oh, yeah. We work together. It's Dwight Schrute. As in Schrute Farms.

Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24728

Dwight

Congratulations on choosing Schrute Farms for your wedding.

Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24859

Dwight

While I describe to you the Excalibur package. In addition to the breathtaking natural beauty and smell of Schrute Farms, I can promise you that our grounds can be catered to fit your exact specifications. I will work tirelessly for you over the coming months and be at your constant disposal. Please feel free to call or stop by, any time of the day or night.

Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24863

Andy

Dwight, I'm a little concerned about some of these directions to Schrute Farms...

Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25598

Andy

Let's three-way this little issue, and come to a solution by the time we get to Schrute Farms, how's that for a plan?

Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25610

Andy

We're getting married at Schrute Farms, no matter what. I have looked at twelve venues, I have lost eight deposits, and I have seen Angela naked zero times. I am not losing another deposit.

Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25611

Dwight

You know what? You can all have jobs at Schrute Farms as human scarecrows. It doesn't pay much and you can't unionize.

Season 6 · Episode 9 · Quote 33639

Dwight

Schrute Farms is very easy to find, it's right in the middle of the root vegetable district. If the soil starts to get acidic, you've probably gone too far.

Season 8 · Episode 4 · Quote 46648

Dwight

I've been wanting Schrute Farms to break into the high-end event hosting industry for some time, and this party is a great opportunity. Plus, I've got a secret weapon. Only one copy in the world and some sucker on the internet sold it to me for two dollars.

Season 8 · Episode 4 · Quote 46685

Dwight

The Civil War history industry has conveniently forgotten about the battle of Schrute Farms. Whatever. I'm over it. It's just grossly irresponsible.

Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47875

Dwight

...nothing beats the battle of Schrute Farms.

Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47932

Dwight

Can you tell us about the battle of Schrute Farms?

Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47974

Dwight

Well. Anyone employed by the Gettysburg Industrial Complex is certainly going to want to keep quiet about the Battle of Schrute Farms.

Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48027

Archivist

Schrute Farms did you say? That is a fascinating little chapter of the Civil War.

Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48028

Soldier

Dearest mother I'm sorry it has been so long since my last letter. It is three months since I arrived at Schrute Farms and I fear I may never leave this place alive. Melvin Fifer Garris.

Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48033

Narrator

But the Battle at Schrute Farms was no battle at all. It was a code used by pacifists from both North and South who turned the Pennsylvania farmhouse into an artistic community and a refuge from the war.

Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48035

Amanda

You have to understand. Poets, artists, dancers ' these kind of men preferred peace to war. These delicate lovely men found a place of refuge among the Schrutes at Schrute Farms. Amidst the macho brutality of war this was a place where dandies and dreamers could put on plays and sing tender ballads and dance in the moonlight. I like to think of Schrute Farms as the Underground Railroad for the sensitive' and well' fabulous.

Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48036

Dwight

Phillip, if you're hearing this memo, that can only mean one thing, I'm dead. You are the rightful heir to Schrute Farms. Please, you must do one thing. Kill Mose before he kills you. Mose, hey, it's Dwight. Listen, yeah, I just want to give you a heads-up.

Season 8 · Episode 15 · Quote 50158

Dwight

If Jim has bedbugs, that means they're everywhere. I can't risk them coming back to Schrute Farms. Our biggest attraction is our 200 year old mattresses.

Season 8 · Episode 16 · Quote 50463