Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 82)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 82 of 122

1. Ok, alright, well I'll just bounce that off David, see what comes back.

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2. Whatever David wants.

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3. Michael Scott calling for David. Well, just tell him to call me ASAP as possible. Thanks.

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4. No! You idiot! Idiot, idiot, idiot! What are you doing? God! Oh my god.

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5. Hi Stephanie, it's Michael Scott again. I just spoke with Michael Scotch and the son's going to be returned, everything's fine.

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6. And I really really need to talk to David.

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7. I was never given a name.

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8. Are you kidding me with this? On the day that I bring in breakfast?

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9. I wish you had told us sooner, because I was going to go to the vending machine and get an egg salad.

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10. Nobody thanked me.

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11. For breakfast. Except Charles. You say no more parties, and then you spend all of this money on lunch, I think it's a little hypercritical.

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12. Damn it, Stephanie, put me through to him. Is that him in the background? David? David! David, pick up the phone!

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13. Yep.

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14. Do some overtime? You want to do some overtime this weekend? You know what, Kevin, I applaud your initiative. Yes. You may.

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15. Kevin? This is my branch. You don't ask Charles. You ask me. I say, approved.

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16. Yes it is!

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17. No, it is not.

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18. Ok, so we're on the same page, great.

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19. Ok, Michael, what are you doing?

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20. No, seriously.

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21. How old are you?

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22. Five years old?

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23. I'm gonna walk away.

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24. I'm kidding around, wow! Relax, everybody, it's just a joke. It's fine. Boy, so touchy. PPC, let's continue our morning meeting in the conference room.

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25. What is that smaller stripper holding?

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26. Ok.

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27. Party Planning Committee. Not your concern, Charles.

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28. Really? Well then how would we come up with great ideas like Jim's? Go ahead.

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29. It's a great idea. And we have a cake in the shape of a bale of hay.

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30. But it's cool, and it's-

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31. Whoa. You're talking about my anniversary party, so. . .

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32. Yeah, why don't you do that?

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28403

33. Yeah, here we go. Ok.

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34. What?

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35. Newsflash: I've been here for fifteen years. Headline: You have been here one day. End of story. You have no right to cancel my fifteenth anniversary party. End of story. End of story. End of story!

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36. Ok, no, no, no, no. No. You know what? I'm going to New York. And I am going to talk to David Wallace. I'm going to tell him everything. And I'm sorry to say, you're screwed. And, you know what? You are gonna be through. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to do that to you. Do you even know how paper is made? It's not like steel. You don't put it into a furnace. If you put paper into a furnace, you know what would happen? You'd ruin it.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28411

37. Hello, Stephanie. Ok, where is he?

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38. So is this the meeting you've been in all day?

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39. I drove.

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40. Cancelled my fifteenth anniversary party. Just pulled the rug out from under me. And he said no figs. I've already bought em. And I don't have a place to store them. So, I feel like I've been sort of boned.

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41. Do you talk to him about this? You've talked to him all day, obviously. Did you talk to him about this?

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42. Ok. Then I don't get it. It doesn't make any sense to me. Because I thought in the new system I was supposed to talk to Charles, and then Charles was supposed to talk to you, and that would dilute any need for me to ever talk to you again.

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43. Clearly that's what you wanted.

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44. Fifteen years I have been here. And I have sacrificed a lot.

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45. I've put having a family on hold.

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46. And I've never gone hang-gliding. And I've never driven my car to the top of Mount Washington.

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47. I don't understand that after fifteen years of service here, I have to get in the car and drive to New York in order to talk to you. That doesn't seem right to me. That doesn't seem fair. And I think that I've earned more than that.

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48. Ok.

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49. I quit.

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50. You have no idea how high I can fly.

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51. I had no idea when I got in that car and headed to New York I was going to quit. I got on that ramp and I thought two hours, two hours to go. Feeling good. Listen to some tunes. Should've peed before I left.

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52. Okay, so. I get up to the building, I get to the revolving door... broken! So I have to take the normal door.

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53. No, No! I was so nervous it was the wrong building! I walked into the wrong building!

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54. I looked at Wallace and I said 'I quit!' and as I turned to leave I looked back and I said 'You have no idea how high I can fly.'

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28484

55. Why would I do that?

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56. You guys have thought about this a lot more than I have. I just winged it.

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57. Scotch with Splenda. Tastes like Splenda, gets you drunk like scotch. Clinky, clinky-clink. Come-on... come on, come on.

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58. What am I gonna do? I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do. I gonna do a little bit of this, a little bit of that. I gonna stay up all day. Gonna sleep it up all night. I'm gonna give it a OHH! HEY! HO! And I'm going to stop worrying about calories.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28495

59. I have a job.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28497

60. Pam, what you don't understand is that at my level you just don't look in the want-ads for a job. You are head-hunted.

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61. Any good headhunter knows I am available.

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62. You're 'I need you to' is my command.

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63. Hey.

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64. You can talk to me for as long as you want. I have all the time in the world. Oh God! Blech! Phyllis!

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65. Oh! Hey. What is this about?

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66. Oh.

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67. Me too, me too. Is this wine?

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68. I already have wine.

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69. Hmm?

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70. For?

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71. Yes I am.

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72. Where you from?

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73. That's a drive!

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28534

74. [sighs]

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75. Thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28554

76. You work in paper long enough, you get to know the players.

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77. What am I gong to do? Uh....

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78. PSST! PSST!

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79. Okay, oh okay, okay. Close your eyes.

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80. Just close your eyes. I'm going to start my own paper company.

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81. yeah!

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82. Can you believe... cause I know paper. I know everything there is to know about paper.

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83. Yeah! Oh God. I practically invented decline.

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84. Right, I know paper, I know how to manage. I have a name, close your eyes.

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85. Close them.

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86. Alright, Michael Scott Paper Company. You want in? Do you want to be a part of this?

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87. Obviously.

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88. Oh, agreed, mmm, except...

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89. Hey hey... what's up Chuck?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28580

90. No I'm staying.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28588

91. Pam, listen. This order form. Instead of saying 'Dunder Mifflin' at the top is there any way I could get it to say something else?

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92. You... oh. Somebody has been talking in bed. Pillow talk.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28599

93. This is a dream that I have had since lunch, and I am not giving up on it now.

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94. Before you got here, I'm the one who landed all these clients. Half of them, at least. I can do it again. I know the market, I know the price points. I'm on it, don't worry. So, how do I do that?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28603

95. Can't I take some paper and just tape over it with transparent tape?

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28605

96. Thank you very much.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28607

97. I'm starting my own paper company.

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98. Yeah.

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99. Yeah. In all climates. It's going to be worldwide. And I'm looking for some talented salesmen to join me. That's where you come in.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28626

100. Can you believe it? Well, we'll see, we'll see. It's just a, just a nugget of an idea right now so

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