Michael Scott Quotes from The Office | Page 84

Well... this might not be the right time, but I need more than I originally asked for.

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Yeah. I have cable and satellite as a backup. Yeah, I know. Two not-so-great things in a row. Ehhhh, well. Stuff happens, right? At least we got Ryan. The Rye-guy. We should call him Rye bread. We don't have to call him that. Unless you like it. We could call him that.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29026

What's that?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29028

Blech.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29030

Well you know what? My mom always used to say that average people are the most special people in the world. And that's why God made so many.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29032

Well we should make a list. Lists are good. Lists are good. Lists are good. First on the list, let's get you out of the car. Alright. Okay...

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29034

I want you to listen to me. Because I want to tell you the situation that we are both in right now, kay? You quit your job. I quit my job. We both quit. Those are the facts. That's what happened. Now, what are our choices right now? Because you know, kiddo, you quit.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29036

So what are our options? Well, we can start this paper company. We can try. Or... that's it. That's our only option. Because we quit. Pam, I do my best work when people don't believe in me. I remember in high school, my math teacher told me I was gonna flunk out. And know what I did? The very next day I went out and I scored more goals than anyone else in the history of the hockey team. See what I mean? I thrive on this. I thrive on it. So I'm gonna go inside. I'm going to make some calls, I'm gonna get us an office space, and I'm going to show you why you joined this company. Okay?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29038

You gotta have some extra space. Philly, work with me here. There's gotta be some sort of secret office that you have... lurkin' around... some awesome, free, keep it off the books... Oh, no. Not there. That would be humiliating.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29039

I did what I had to do. I stepped in. I took charge. That's what being a man is. And earlier today, I was freaking out. Pam stepped up. She was the man. Don't think a woman can be a man? Well, then that's your stereotype, not mine.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29040

Okay.

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It's right in the middle of the paper belt.

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Yeah, I'm good. You good?

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29045

You know what they say, keep your friends close.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29047

Yes, I am, Charles.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29049

Except this time, you have no legal right to kick me out, because I have started my very own paper company right here in the building. If I were you, Charles Miner, I would watch your step. Because the Michael Scott Paper Company is about to open a big ol' can of whoopass on Dunder Mifflin. Actually a six pack. We're gonna open a six pack of whoopass. He looks scared.

Season 5 · Episode 20 · Line 29051

It's Britney bitch. And I am back, in the form of a new company. The Michael Scott Paper Company. Okay. Not gonna make this one.

Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29052

Hello! They took away my parking space but they can't take away my pride!

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I would like to invite you all to come away with me, on a journey. Welcome! To the Michael Scott Paper Company!

Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29056

We are in the heart of it. And the surge of water carries our business out to the sea.

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We wait, and hope that people show up to the pancake luncheon.

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I don't know I think we've done absolutely everything you can do to prepare for the day. I've updated our contacts, I have gotten quotes from suppliers. I have sent out an E-vite for our big grand opening pancake luncheon. Six yeses, one maybe, only eleven noes. Um, and 788 not yet replieds. But of that group, 782 have viewed it.

Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29074

I am going to need 800 of these, on nice bright paper. It is a coupon for unparalleled customer service.

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Hey you said you were gonna be out of town this weekend.

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Hey Ryan? Could you get to that copy from before?

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Listen. Listen listen listen listen listen listen. I need someone to make a copy of this. Because I don't make copies, I'm the boss. Got it? I make originals.

Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29127

Stop it stop it! Bickering! Stop it!

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Would someone just make the copy?

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Just make that copy okay?

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They're getting on my nerves Mom. Both of them. R thinks he's too good to be here, and P is not as much fun without Jim.

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I'm on the phone, please. Mom, I'm gonna have to call you back. P's being a giant B.

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They always say that it is a mistake to hire your friends and they are right! So, I hired my best friends. And this is what I get?

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Listen up. It has come to my attention that some people in this office are not getting along with other people in this office. And I think I have come up with the reason why. This office space is too small.

Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29168

Okay. There are ... 4 corners in this room. Each corner is to be a personal space for each one of you. Whichever corner you want. And make it your own.

Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29170

Okay guys, thank you for the offers. But I want you to get pumped about this corner idea. All right? 1,2,3- What are we gonna do?

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No, you're supposed to say, 'Rock the house.'

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That's my corner.

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No, this is where I work. I can't relax in the same corner where I work.

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Pam, I don't make the rules.

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Oh hey! Stanley, Phyllis. Come on in. Welcome, welcome. Let me give you the tour.

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Thank you. You remember Ryan And Pam is around here somewhere.

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What for?

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Yes.

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Maybe the Michael Scott Paper Company was a huge mistake. I should leave. I should go, and start my own paper company. That'll show 'em.

Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29235

Get your free pancakes. They are delicious. They are nutritious. They are complimentary. Young sir, would you like a free pancake?

Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29236

Ryan, enough with the texting machine. Come on. And tuck in your shirt, you're the face of this company.

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Hey Pam.

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You sorta disappeared there for a while. Where ya been?

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Yeah?

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Well, at least you're still being honest with me.

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These are shaped like paper.

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I once had a dream. That I was eating a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich. And, let me tell you something it was delicious. So the next day, I decided to make that sandwich. And in real life it is disgusting. It is a disgusting sandwich. And the reason I tell you this story. Pick up the phone.

Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29275

Don't tell them we have free delivery!

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They don't know that!

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Give him a guarantee.

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Just say the word.

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Yes!

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You did!

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Oh yeah!

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She did it!

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Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

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Who would have thought, that the thing that would save this company would be work? And pancakes? In the end, this day definitely had its ups and downs. I realize that we don't have the biggest office. Which is a surprise, because 165 square feet sounds like a lot. But, we have people with the biggest hearts. And I think for a small company that is really Someone went to the bathroom. That is really what's important.

Season 5 · Episode 21 · Line 29296

Hup!

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Hup!

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Hey.

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Is this good?

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29332

Oh. Okay. Ed's Tires, huh?

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I really appreciate it.

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29336

It's for your trouble.

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29338

No, no, listen, as a friend, I want you to have this.

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Yes, I do.

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That was four years ago. Why don't you let it go?

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29344

Ed's Tires. Why don't you tell them that we have fewer clients, so we can spend more time with each of them. Also, try to discuss it over Indian food, and try to mention how you distrust women.

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29354

That is smart. That would not seem genuine. Ryan?

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29356

Good, you take the lead on this one. Also, do not forget that he has just gone through a messy divorce.

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29358

Bring it in. Morning cheer.

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I need you to get me the prices that you're charging Ed's tires so I can undercut Dunder Mifflin.

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Oh n- Is it Mose? Did you put the cover on that well?

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29378

I'm not following you.

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Personal hero, cool new guy. Okay, I think I'm getting your drift.

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Crystal clear. So is this for a movie that you're writing?

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29384

Can I use it?

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Dwight, are you talking about us?

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Someone could say that it is like the situation that we are in now?

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So I would say that the old boss has always been good to Dwight, and he was there first, so he has dibs. You respect dibs, don't you?

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29392

Good. Will you meet me in 20 minutes at the spot?

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29394

Dwight?

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Is the cool new guy Charles?

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Is it Stanley?

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Hello, Dwight. What's with the shirt? Are you alright?

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Oh my God! Run! Run! It's a setup. Setup!

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29413

Dwight, run!

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You be cool.

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29417

Just-what's going on?

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Mm-do... Dwight would not-

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I. Understand. Nothing.

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Wow.

Season 5 · Episode 22 · Line 29426

It was a setup. Dwight told Charles. He told him.

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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 84)