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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 80)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 80 of 122

  1. What?

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27738

  2. You know what guys? I don't think we need to do this.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27741

  3. No, no, no, no. I mean have this kind of party. I look around and I see all these beautiful people who are alone on Valentine's, and I think that there are other single people out there too. We just need to find them. There's a girl out there for all of us maybe even in this office park. There has to be a way to get all these lonely people together.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27743

  4. No. Not a giant net.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27745

  5. I was thinking maybe like a mixer.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27747

  6. Old fashioned meet market --

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27749

  7. -- I don't think it is.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27751

  8. These people need love and I am going to get it for them Who cares if we sell a little bit less paper today? A great boss cares more about the happiness of his employees then anything else. I am going to be cupid, and I am going to shoot my sparrow at unsuspecting victims, and they are going to get hit and say 'I'm in love I was hit by cupid's sparrow.' Funny little bird, but he gets the job done.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27753

  9. Hey.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27754

  10. Ah, still early.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27756

  11. So how you holding up?

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27758

  12. No. No, I meant about being single today.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27760

  13. Meh, exactly. Eh.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27762

  14. Oh, here we go.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27764

  15. Hello.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27766

  16. Babe alert! Hello, I'm Michael Scott, welcome to our little shindig.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27768

  17. Lynn, follow me, come on in. For you we have one of our top people Kevin Malone. Kevin, come out here show your beautiful self.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27770

  18. So run with the ball! Run with it, Kev. Where you from?

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27773

  19. Yeah, OK. Well, he only gets better.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27775

  20. So, Eric. You mentioned before that you are in tool and dye repair.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27793

  21. Meredith recently had a total hysterectomy, so that's sort of a repair. Alright, I'll let you guys talk.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27795

  22. It's going very well. People are mixing, a lot of hope. Cause that's what you hate to see, when hope gets crushed. Sorry, thought I heard somebody coming in. Um, so it's not too late.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27796

  23. No reason.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27798

  24. Nobody's after me, I just, I met a woman when I was giving blood and I thought she might come by.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27802

  25. It's not a big deal really, I just, you know met somebody, we hardly talked, I picked up her glove so I was hoping I could give it back to her.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27804

  26. Believe me its nothing. I hardly even talked to her we just, we were lying there next to each other, I think our blood bags touched.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27810

  27. Nah. [everyone groans and Girl turns around and walks away.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27828

  28. Hey, you don't deserve her.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27854

  29. Hey, if anybody wants to go...

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27856

  30. Really? Oh, thanks.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27858

  31. You know what, you guys, you guys can get out I'm gonna soldier on a little bit.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27860

  32. OK.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27862

  33. Four months ago, I dated a woman named Holly and, um, this is actually the first time that I've even considered getting back into that arena again. You know what, sometimes it's not about whether Cinderella gets her slipper back, but it's about the fact that the prince even picked up the slipper at all. There's a lot of princesses out there. You know, they have all different sizes and shapes of feet and hands so I think, I think my odds are pretty good.

    Season 5 · Episode 16 · Line 27863

  34. Pam?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27869

  35. Pam? Knock, knock.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27871

  36. I know you are. Knock, knock.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27873

  37. 4-9-1-7-4-5-1

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27875

  38. They would never know it was me doing it. Here we go, Knock, knock.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27877

  39. Buddha.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27879

  40. Buddha this bread for me, won't you?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27881

  41. I, I need something to wipe my hand.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27883

  42. That was helping. It was classic.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27885

  43. No... God.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27887

  44. Alright.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27889

  45. Who's there?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27891

  46. KGB -

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27893

  47. What the hell was that?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27895

  48. What are you doing?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27897

  49. You, you like that?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27899

  50. Mine was retribution. What are you doing? No more knock-knock jokes. That's it.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27901

  51. Who's there?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27903

  52. Dwight, get the door.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27905

  53. Answer the door.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27907

  54. I'm not gonna answer it

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27912

  55. Oh, no, no, no, no. I am not Michael. I am Willy Wonkaaaaa.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27917

  56. Why thank you very much. Oh, what are those? What are those? Tell me, please!

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27919

  57. No, no, no. They are not just ordinary jelly beans little girl. These are extraordinary jelly beans!

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27921

  58. The Willy Wonka Golden Ticket promotional idea is probably the best idea I have ever had. It's probably the best idea anybody has ever had. Three days ago, I slipped five pieces of gold paper into random paper shipments. This entitles the customer to ten percent off of their total order. It will be a day for them that is full of whimsy, and full of excitement and full of fantasy.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27922

  59. I've written these things because it is my responsibility, as manager of this branch, to profiligate great ideas and I think I have done my part with the golden ticket promotion. Now it is your turn. I want to hear some great ideas from you that are just as good as mine. Umm hmm.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27923

  60. Too many words. Good ideas are simple. 'Golden ticket.'

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27925

  61. No. Jim. We're a business. Post-its. That is a golden ticket idea. NASA took five or six golden ticket ideas to get man on the moon.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27927

  62. No, you don't. No, it - What will be the state of this company if I am the only one coming up with the great ideas? Right?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27929

  63. Woo hoo.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27949

  64. Tell me; was it a spoiled little girl with big lips...

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27951

  65. ...or an odd little boy with a cowboy obsession?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27953

  66. Invite them on the tour.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27955

  67. Really? That's kind of a big client. Hey, Oscar. Woo hoo hoo. Um, how much of a hit is ten percent of our Blue Cross account?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27957

  68. Yeah?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27959

  69. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27961

  70. I thought I did. So...

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27965

  71. Well no harm no foul.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27967

  72. You didn't, but... it'll be fine. It'll be good.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27969

  73. Hey. Hey. Hey. You idiot.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27970

  74. Sir. I placed a bunch of golden tickets into five separate boxes and some how they all ended up with Blue Cross. How does this happen?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27972

  75. Irrelevant.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27974

  76. OK, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be honest. What is a pallet?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27976

  77. My golden ticket idea? OK. Why would anyone think that this is my golden ticket idea? There is a one in 13 chance that this could be anybody's golden ticket idea. That...

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27977

  78. Nobody panic. The good news is... they can't fire all of us, right?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27980

  79. No, they can't.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27982

  80. Oscar, you don't know what the hell you are talking about.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27984

  81. Alright, then we're screwed. I am just a net that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas and adds a little bit of my own childhood memories and whimsy, so -

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27986

  82. Thank you, Jim is with me.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27988

  83. Well you know what Jim? It is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27990

  84. OK, we need a gold ticket idea to get us out of this mess. Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27992

  85. OK, don't get that. Please?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27995

  86. That is not constructive.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27997

  87. Hello David. I just got back from my procedure, so--

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 27999

  88. How are you doing?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28001

  89. My colonoscopy was an examination of my large colon and the distal part of my small bowel with a camera.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28003

  90. Well, there is an explanation that involves me not letting it happen and I just don't... I don't know.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28005

  91. I think we might have hired an outside marketing consultant.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28007

  92. You're breaking up.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28009

  93. OK, I think, it might have been an inside consultant.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28011

  94. Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28013

  95. No.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28015

  96. Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28017

  97. Come on in. Good to see ya, have a seat. I just wanted to congratulate you on that great golden ticket idea.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28018

  98. Woah, wow, who told you that?

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28020

  99. No, I don't think I ever did. That was your idea Dwight.

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28022

  100. I'm not taking... I'm not taking...

    Season 5 · Episode 17 · Line 28024