The Dundies: Every Line from The Office

Dwight

Name, Meredith Palmer. Uh, personal information, divorced twice, two kids. Uh, Employer, Dunder Mifflin Paper Incorporated. Awards, multiple Dundies.

Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1013

Dwight

Name, Meredith Palmer. Uh, personal information, divorced twice, two kids. Uh, Employer, Dunder Mifflin Paper Incorporated. Awards, multiple Dundies.

Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1207

Michael

Tonight is the Dundies, the annual employee awards night here at Dunder Mifflin. And this is everybody's favorite day. Everybody looks forward to it, because, you know, a lot of the people here don't get trophies, very often. Like Meredith or Kevin, I mean, who's gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin' Donuts? Plus, bonus, it's really, really funny. So I, you know, an employee will go home, and he'll tell his neighbor, 'Hey, did you get an award?' And the neighbor will say, 'No man. I mean, I slave all day and nobody notices me.' Next thing you know, employee smells something terrible coming from neighbor's house. Neighbor's hanged himself due to lack of recognition. So...

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 1997

Jim

So, you ready for the... the Dundies?

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 1998

Pam

You know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away, but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2000

Michael

So why don't I take you on a tour of past Dundie winners. We got Fat Jim Halpert here. Jim, why don't you show of your Dundies to the camera?

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2004

Michael

And here we have Stanley the Manly. Now Stanley is a Dundie all-star, aren't you Stan? Why don't you, ah, show them some of your bling.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2010

Michael

The Dundie award for 'Longest Engagement' goes to Pam Beesley.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2074

Michael

Okay, look, I know there have been a lot of rumors flying around about the Dundies this year. How there is no money, and how there is no food, and how the jokes are really bad, but WHAT THE HELL EVERYBODY!? I mean, God. The Dundies are about the best, in every, one of us. Can't you see that? I mean, okay, we can do better. so, tonight, for the first time, we are inviting all of your friends and family to attend the awards with us.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2101

Michael

Yeah, not bad, right? So let's make this the best Dundies ever.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2103

Dwight

Best Dundies ever.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2104

Dwight

Welcome to the eighth annual Dundies awards.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2105

Michael

The Dundies, how can I explain it? Awards you like to hate it. I'm psyched you all made it. You never had to work so hard and feel that no one notices you. You're just a name and number and no one even says hello.' Card!

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2107

Oscar

The Dundies are kind of like a kid's birthday party, and you go, and there's really nothing for you to do there. But the kid's having a really good time, so you're, kind of there. That's-that's kind of what it's like.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2108

Michael

You down with The Dundies? You down with the Dundie-'

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2109

Michael

Alright, alright, joke landed. So we are here, thank you all for coming to the 2005 Dundie awards. I am your host, Michael Scott. And I just want to tell you please, please, do not drink and drive. Because you may hit a bump and spill the drink!

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2111

Michael

'You have won a tiny Dundie.'

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2180

Michael

I had a few more Dundies to, uh, give out tonight, but, I'm just going to cut it short. And wrap it up so everybody can enjoy their food. Um...thanks for listening, those who listened. This last Dundie is for Kevin, this is the 'Don't Go in There After Me' award. It's for the time that I went into the bathroom after him, and it was really, really smelly. So...

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2190

Pam

More Dundies!

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2196

Pam and Jim

Dundies! Dundies! Dundies! Dundies!

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2197

Everybody

Dundies! Dundies!

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2198

Pam

Um, so, finally, I want to thank God. Because God gave me this Dundie.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2211

Jim

What a great year for the Dundies.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2214

Michael

Was this year's Dundies a success? Well, let's see, I made Pam laugh so hard, that she fell out of her chair, and she almost broke her neck. So I killed, almost.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2231

Pam

I just want to say, that this was the best, Dundies, ever! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2234

Toby

Yes, that's true. I have never won a Dundie. I am more than okay with that.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2254

Jim

The weird part about this whole deal this that Michael truly believes that these awards are inspiring and motivational. I mean, he puts more effort and time and commitment into the Dundies than anything else he does all year. Which is probably why this branch will be downsized.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2264

Michael

Well, what should I do, guys? Seriously, do you want me to just cancel the Dundies?

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2295

Dwight

All right, let's wrap it up. Come on, we're late. The Dundies are starting very soon. Accounting, let's go, let's go. Okay, I gave you fair warning. Out. Who's next, customer service? Meredith, let's roll.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2330

Michael

You down with the Dundies?

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2332

Michael

You down with the Dundies?

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2334

Dwight

The Dundies!

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2335

Michael

You down with the Dundies? You're all my homies

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2336

Michael

You down with the Dundies?

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2338

Michael

All right, our next award... ah, yes, this award goes to the most creative writing on the ladies' room wall, and the winner is... Who is it? Who wants to claim it? Shiny Dundie. Who wrote it? Great idea, Dwight.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2345

Michael

Well, okay, I based it on what I felt was unanimous office sentiment, and this isn't even about what Ryan thinks. It's about you. It's about how you feel about the Dundies. Admit it.

Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2351

Michael

It doesn't have to mean anything. Just, do it for Stanley. Come on Jim, just climb on top of her and think about Stanley. Ah, Jim, if this is it for me, promise me something, host the Dundies.

Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19797

Jim

Well, I saw - oh your Dundies. I'm surprised they're not out on the coffee table for everybody to see.

Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20550

Jan

It was between the neon beer sign and the Dundies so I said 'Honey keep the trophies.'

Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20551

Michael

Oh honey, I have the best trophy right here, aside from my Dundies.

Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20552

Michael

Oh... yes. There was some screaming but... um... my girlfriend... threw a dundie at my TV. Plasma.

Season 4 · Episode 9 · Quote 20726

Michael

We have the Dundies, my birthday, those blow out, and it's sexy, it's sort of a sexy atmosphere, you know? The other day, in the parking lot, I actually found a condom. So. I've been meaning to ask you, do you know whose that was? So, sexy is fun...

Season 4 · Episode 13 · Quote 21959

Michael

Uh, I'm not a moron. Time after time my branch leads in sales. I have personally won over 17 Dundie awards. So, I am not a moron and I am just trying to help, you know? So... you're the moron.

Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34098

Michael

It is six a.m. and we are about to go house to house to give everyone their Dundie Nomination Certificates. Just like the Oscars!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44109

Michael

You and Pam have both been nominated for Dundie Awards!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44119

Meredith

Ahh, Nice! I got a Dundie nomination!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44138

Erin

I don't know, maybe volunteer at the shelter, or go to bed, or... I don't know. Maybe I'm going to the Dundies!!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44146

Michael

The Dundies are my baby, and they need to go on. When Larry King died they didn't just cancel his show. They got Pierce Morgan to come in, and do his show, and, that way, Larry lives on.

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44148

Michael

Anything can happen at the Dundies! They're like the Golden Globes but less mean. And I just want all of us to have a good time!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44149

Dwight

Just a little announcement folks, remember, the Dundies is a black tie affair.

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44150

Michael

So as you know, the Dundies are my legacy. So I'm going to need to train a replacement. So this year, I have decided to have a co-host. And that person is Deangelo!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44163

Andy

Why don't you think of hosting the Dundies like you're just running a meeting.

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44187

Michael

This is my last Dundies ever, if I want mind control over him, is that too much to ask?

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44192

Deangelo Vickers

THE DUNDIES ARE-OW-ABOUT COMING TOGETHER! AND RECOGNIZING, THE ADOMINABILITY OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44199

Deangelo Vickers

THE DUNDIES!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44201

Michael

The Dundies!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44202

Deangelo Vickers

THE DUNDIES!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44203

Michael

Deangelo! We're in serious horse manure here! The Dundies are tonight! And we ain't got no host!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44228

Michael

He's in Little Shop of Horrors on Broadway. Now we need Michael Scott! The best darn Dundies host on both sides of the Mississippi!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44234

Deangelo Vickers

Ughhh, I gotta find Michael Scott! And then I gotta, Get him to the Dundies!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44235

Michael

No, Ryan would never do it. It's too on the radar. Look, look. The boss, hosts, the Dundies! It's sort of our perk!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44254

Michael

There are a lot of great salesmen in this office, but one of our great salesmen is also a great dad. And a close personal friend of mine, Jim Halpert! Best Dad Dundie!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44270

Michael

Which moves us to, Best Mom Dundie. I guess we all kinda consider her a mom around the office. Meredith Palmer!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44277

Deangelo Vickers

They say he's going to be my right hand man, adlib masturbation joke. No, I hate this, I hate it so much. Dwight Schrute! Please accept this promising Assistant Manager Dundie. Thank you, thank you so much. I would like to thank something that we, uh, take for granted in our daily lives. And that is the humble trashcan. This is for you trashcan!

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44287

Erin

Thank you, thank you! This is the first award I've ever won in my entire life. People are right about the Dundies, they are magical. But, I don't feel it. And I think that's because I'm not with the right person. Gabe, we should break up.

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44294

Michael

It is difficult to recognize the person who will be replacing you. But he is a good guy, so the Michael Scott Award for Best Dundies Host goes to Deangelo Vickers.

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44300

Michael

So that is how it ends. My last Dundies ever. I was hoping it'd be more like Godfather Three. That rapped up the whole franchise in an extremely satisfying way. But instead it is like Godfather One! That was, very confusing, had maybe three big laughs. Oh well...

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44310

Dwight

I thought it was the worst Dundies I've ever been to.

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44329

Dwight

I just don't see a point in the Dundies! Okay? The jokes are terrible, the venue is bad, the fashion is boring.

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44334

Oscar

It's his last Dundies.

Season 7 · Episode 20 · Quote 44366