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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 52)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 52 of 122

  1. I'm not going to leave until you forgive me.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17493

  2. Oh, okay.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17495

  3. This office is cursed. And we need to do something about it.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17499

  4. Maybe the conference room, maybe the annex. I'm just saying, at least right here is cursed. Conference room, 10 minutes.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17501

  5. On the one hand, it's a relief to know that it's not just me, the whole office is cursed. On the other hand, I may have to deal with the dark unknown.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17502

  6. We have to have done something wrong.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17504

  7. That was the curse, Stanley, and we are trying to find the cause of the curse.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17506

  8. Oscar, are you Santaria?

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17508

  9. Oh. Great. We have a secular humanist here, that is disgusting.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17510

  10. Yes. It is a philosophy which says people can improve their lives by using reason instead of religion or superstition.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17512

  11. Stupid.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17514

  12. Yeah, the, uh, the charity's having some financial problems. What do I look like to you, Paul Newman? That's actually not a good example, because I have been compared to a young Paul Newman, my eyes and my face. And I make my own salad dressing. I mix Newman's Ranch with Newman's Italian. Sell it at flea markets for a slight loss. I could make... I could make a profit if I changed one of the ingredients to Wishbone but I won't do it.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17516

  13. Whoa, 'scuse me! Oh!

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17517

  14. Oh, slow! Oh, ho, ho, ho. You guys are going so slow...

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17519

  15. Come on, I'm going backwards.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17521

  16. Oh, all right! All right! All right! All right!

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17523

  17. Okay!

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17525

  18. Thanks.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17527

  19. Well, apparently, my insurance will not be covering this hospital stay. I will be paying out-of-pocket. Um... I kinda wish I'd been hit by a car.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17530

  20. Hey, doc? You forgetting something? Thank you.

    Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17531

  21. Hey Toby. What's this?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17540

  22. I just want to remind everyone about the company rules involving PDA or public displays of affection.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17542

  23. Oh really.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17544

  24. Is this about me and Jan? In my office? Because I will have you know that that was consensual. What we did has nothing to do with you or anyone here. I don't think. I don't think anyone heard anything. We were very discreet and, and most people had left by that point. So I don't think it's any of your business. What I think you should do is roll up the memo, real tight...

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17546

  25. No way.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17550

  26. Woooah! Wow!

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17554

  27. Awesome!

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17556

  28. You guys! Yes! Yes!

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17558

  29. Oh kay, mind is exploding. Get over here. Come on. Come here. Okay, okay, stand up. OK, here we go. Everyone, this is a day that will live in infamy. Because today, is the day that Jim and Pam become one.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17561

  30. I love you guys, so much.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17563

  31. No, no, no Pam let 'em ring. Let the bells of Dunder Mifflin chime out your love. Because this is really good, this is really good. My heart soars with the eagles nest.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17566

  32. Hey. Can you make that straighter? That's what she said.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17570

  33. No.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17572

  34. Blowing up balloons I thought.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17574

  35. Pam and Jim are together. Ryan is visiting. Only thing that could make this day better is ice cream.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17580

  36. Hey!

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17608

  37. There he is! There he is! He's back! And he's with a beard. He... He has facial hair. Look at him! All grown up and no place to go. Hello, Mr. Sunny Crockett. I'm Tubs.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17610

  38. Ohh, yeah, let's get started because uh, yes, cause uh this is very serious business and umm..

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17612

  39. ...business meeting --

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17614

  40. That's right! That's right!

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17617

  41. Fire guy. Don't start any fires, Ryan.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17619

  42. Look how big he is. Look at you, you are so mature and old and little man now. You're like our little man...

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17624

  43. Beard.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17627

  44. Oh, wow!

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17630

  45. That's a little kinky. I don't swing that way.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17632

  46. Woooo!I think Ryan has a gay crush on me.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17634

  47. Yes, everybody, come on. Settle town. Let's get serious here. Um Ryan, has a very special, important presentation to do, which we will be doing in the conference room in 10 minutes?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17636

  48. Sounds good. OK, alright.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17638

  49. Yeah, Ryan snapped at me, but there was this twinkle in his eye that I picked up on, which said, 'Dude, we're friends. I'm doing this for appearances. I am the big boss now. And I have to seem like an ogre. But you know me and you trust me. And we like each other. And we'll always be friends. And I would never take you for granted in a million years. And I miss you, man. And I love you.' His words.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17639

  50. OOhh. Gimmme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17643

  51. Ryan Howard everybody. Good job.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17653

  52. Who is?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17658

  53. I am not old. You are old. You are like a hundred.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17660

  54. Yeah, kay. I was just... After the presentation, just wanted to make sure, that vis-a-vie, that everything in the office is business as usual?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17678

  55. Yeah, I know I understand... we're making great strides and we're updating, but business as usual, no?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17680

  56. Good, so, we're on the same page?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17682

  57. We had a foreign exchange student live with us when I was young. And we called him my brother. And that's who I thought he was. Um, then he went home to what is now formerly Yugoslavia, taking all of my blue jeans with him. And I had to spend the entire winter in shorts. That is what Ryan is like. A fake brother who steals your jeans.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17684

  58. Hey.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17731

  59. Hey, what is the actual deal with these things in terms of testicles?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17733

  60. I don't want to grow weird sperm in case we ever want to have kids.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17735

  61. Oh, I dunno, they're launching a big new business plan. New website, blah blah blah. He's being a real twerp about it, so, it's all about youth, and agility and streamlining and trying to squeeze out the older people.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17737

  62. Well...

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17739

  63. What is that... word?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17741

  64. So older people have just as many rights as younger people?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17743

  65. Good, we're all here, we can get started.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17753

  66. Have a seat.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17755

  67. Have a seat. Like everybody else.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17757

  68. Still my office, Ryan. Well, there has been a lot of talk about new ideas today. Well, new ideas are fine, but they are also... illegal, because they are a form of ageism. What? Yes, I am right. Did you know that the Age Discrimination and Employment Act of 1967 prohibits employment discrimination based on age with respect to employees 40 years of age or older? I did.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17759

  69. Hey, shut up Toby. Look, why do we as a society hate old people so much?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17761

  70. No, Creed, no they are not. In fact, many cultures revere old people because of their storytelling ability. Like the old lady from Titanic. Or the funny things that they can do, like 'where's the Beef?' Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17763

  71. I was going to put up some new pictures, but umm, all of the ink in the printer was gone.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17766

  72. That is me. Come on in. Who is this old fart? Did you just stagger off the street? Out of a box or something? Who's this worthless bag of bones? Well, this guy is none other than one of the founders of Dunder Mifflin, Mr. Robert Dunder. Huh?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17769

  73. Sure thing. 'Scuse me.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17773

  74. Fine. Then I will call David Wallace and you can explain to him why you threw the founder of the company out on his ancient butt.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17775

  75. Bob, how old are you?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17776

  76. Eighty-seven years young. And still active. That is great. Did you know, that Bob is still a member of the Board of Dunder Mifflin?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17778

  77. Ah, still sends his own proxy. Good for you.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17780

  78. Wow.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17783

  79. Oh, boy.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17785

  80. Great.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17787

  81. Great.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17789

  82. That's great. Thank you for coming in. Robert Dunder everybody. Thank you. That was wonderful. Do you have a ride?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17791

  83. Perfect.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17793

  84. Inspirational. What have we learned? Well, we have learned that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, because it's illegal, and you will go to jail.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17795

  85. No, No. Don't help him. He doesn't need help, Pam. What a nice guy.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17797

  86. Good night guys.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17798

  87. I disagree, I think it was very valuable.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17800

  88. I happen to think the old ways of doing business are better. And I can prove it.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17802

  89. Smell that. Do you smell that?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17833

  90. No, Dwight. That smells like good business to me. What I have done here is I have collected all the finest gourmet items that Scranton has to offer.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17835

  91. Yes, no! No, those are for our clients. Actually, our exclients. I'll explain, later.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17837

  92. Ryan wants everything in our company to be about emails and IM's, but I think he's forgetting about the original instant message. Letters attatched to baskets of food.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17838

  93. Hey boss, I didn't know you were coming in today.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17872

  94. I am glad that you asked, listen up everybody. In the last year, we have lost seven clients to the big chains. These gift baskets are our ticket back into their lives. We are going to show up at these businesses unannounced, and we are going to win them back.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17874

  95. With peanut brittle, with macadamia nut cookies, with chocolate turtles, with raspberry jam and a little bit of fat and salt because you know what? That's what people like.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17876

  96. Ever since I was a kid people have been telling me I can't do things. 'You can't be on the team', 'You can't move on to second grade'. Well, now they're telling me that I can't win back clients using old fashioned business methods. We'll see about that. And FYI, I eventually aced second grade, and I was the biggest kid in class.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17877

  97. OK. We're gonna split up into teams. Jim, Phyllis. Stanley, Dwight. Me Andy.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17878

  98. Why don't we just go as teams to demonstrate our teamsmanship?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17883

  99. Yes?

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17885

  100. OK, that's not helpful Phyllis.

    Season 4 · Episode 2 · Line 17887