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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 54)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 54 of 122

  1. I had um, one of those danishes.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18269

  2. Why don't you wanna go tonight? What... all your friends are gonna be there. It'll be fun.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18273

  3. Just...

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18275

  4. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18277

  5. Thank you.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18279

  6. Na... no. No. If I go by myself everybody will think I'm a big loser.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18281

  7. Do I have your permission to invite Carol?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18283

  8. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just the first... girl that popped into my head. I'll find somebody I haven't slept with.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18285

  9. So. This is the dealio. God has smiled upon me and given me two tickets to the big party in New York tonight. What are you doing this evening? Look at that. They have their own little language now. Like twins.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18295

  10. Alright. Well fight it out amongst yourselves. I was thinking Pammy but boys night out is also good.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18297

  11. Just let me know who the winner is.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18300

  12. Alright. I'm ready to go and I'm callin' shotgun.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18343

  13. Yes. Thank you.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18345

  14. Oh yeah, you'd better. You better say good-bye to Pam. Say good-bye to Pam. Byyyyyye. I love you. I love ya Pam... okay. I'm leavin' inside Jim's car, I don't know when I'll be back again. Yes I do. Tomorrow I'll be back. I'll be back. Tomorrow. Um... yeah. So you know what? Why don't you guys take off a little bit early tonight?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18347

  15. If you are not this tall, you may not ride the rollercoaster. See you guys tomorrow.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18349

  16. You ever read this?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18359

  17. Got it for Ryan. Wanted to get him Oh The Places You'll Go, but they were sold out. Figured...

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18361

  18. Same sort of stuff in here.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18363

  19. Mmwa. Mmwa.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18365

  20. Leaving Pennsylvania.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18367

  21. One for me one for Jan.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18369

  22. You guys should come over for dinner. You and Pam. That'd be fun. Friday?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18371

  23. Wanna come over Friday?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18373

  24. After work you guys...

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18375

  25. Yes. Actually I will tell you right now. It's a club called Chatroom, and there's a password to get in, which is actually password. So...

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18377

  26. What are you doing?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18379

  27. No.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18381

  28. No, I'm sure that's not. Na...

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18383

  29. Yes.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18385

  30. Well the invitation says VIP's only. Is this how you treat your VIP's, Ryan? We're already in the city. The main part with the buildings. What am I supposed to do? What do you want me to do tonight? And if you tell me, that I have to drive back to Scranton, to the satellite party, I am going to throw up! Okay I'm going to throw up. I'm throwing up. You're making me throw up, Ryan.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18387

  31. You know what this is like? I'll tell you what this is like. This is like when the Freshmen would throw a party and wouldn't let any of the Seniors go.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18388

  32. Doesn't it just piss you off sometimes that that little twerp got the promotion over us?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18389

  33. Yeah. I withdrew too.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18391

  34. Alright who wants to party?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18411

  35. Ohhh, what? Oh I think I faked Oscar out.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18413

  36. I think I faked Stanley out too. Who else thought that I was leaving? And they could all go home early? Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Well who needs New York? Right? We can have a killer party right here in Scranton.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18415

  37. Nope nope nope no. This is going to be nothing like the party you've been planning. This is going to be good and everybody's gonna come. What's wrong with Dwight?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18417

  38. Oh hey! Good for you. Good for you. Scranton power. Alright you know what? Angela I'd like you to come into my office in ten minutes. Bring something to write with and something to write on. Good.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18419

  39. This was a pretty disappointing day. It was kind of a slap in the face to realize that I wasn't as important as I thought I was to a certain young executive who I cared about. But, you know, I'm not gonna cry over it. I did that in the car on the way home.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18420

  40. How we doing on time?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18421

  41. Good. These are some things that I would like to have happen.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18423

  42. Mmmhmm.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18425

  43. Those are just things. This is how I want it to feel.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18427

  44. I would like this party to be sexier, cooler, more important...

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18429

  45. Yes

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18431

  46. Uh...

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18433

  47. I want it...

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18435

  48. I want it to embarrass all other parties. I want it to be a party that the guys in New York watch on the web-cam and say, 'Wow! How did they get Al Roker to come?'

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18437

  49. Yes you can.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18439

  50. Yes you can. I know you can. I wouldn't say that if I didn't hundred percent believe it. Who else could do this?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18441

  51. No seriously. Is there anyone else who could do it better? Because we don't have a lot of time. I'll get the pizza!

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18443

  52. Good news.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18457

  53. Guess who just ordered from your favorite pizza place, Alfredo?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18459

  54. Same thing.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18462

  55. You know what? I don't understand when you all talk at the same time.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18465

  56. Pizza by Alfredo.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18468

  57. Okay, okay, what's better? A medium amount of good pizza? Or all you can eat of pretty good pizza?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18470

  58. [sighs, walks back into office]

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18472

  59. Yup.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18486

  60. You don't have to say it like that.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18488

  61. Hey

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18490

  62. Right, I have a coupon, so half of sixty-three fifty, and half the tip of sixty-three fifty.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18492

  63. Yeah, I told them on the phone that I was ordering eight pizzas.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18494

  64. You didn't actually think I was going to spend sixty bucks on pizza?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18496

  65. Okay, it doesn't say it anywhere on the coupon, and if it's policy, it should say it on the coupon.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18498

  66. What do you mean hmm-um?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18500

  67. It is your problem. That's no way to do business, okay? I ordered eight pizzas with a half-off coupon, so I would like eight pizzas for half-off. End of story.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18502

  68. I'm not giving that to you.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18504

  69. No, no you're not going anywhere. You're staying here until we figure this out.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18506

  70. You know what? This young man needs to learn that's not how you treat people. I don't care if it's pizza. Good business is about respect and accountability and follow through. You don't just make promises and pull the rug out from under somebody, do you? Dwight, please escort this young man into the conference room. Right now, get in the conference room.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18508

  71. Yes you are, yes you are, and you will come out when you decide to give me a discount on the pizza. Please, thank you.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18510

  72. No, you don't even know what stupid is. It's about to get all stupid up in here.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18512

  73. You ready to give me my discount now?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18521

  74. Okay, what have you been doing in here this whole time?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18523

  75. Alright, Dwight, knock it off. You better think about what you are doing young man.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18526

  76. No! I'm an adult, I don't have to think or do anything. You're a kid, a little snot-nosed, punk kid who thinks he's better than everyone else, because he's some hot shot, and you don't know anything about sales. So stop being a disrespectful little jerk, okay?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18528

  77. Yeah sales, you sell pizza. Last time I checked that's called sales.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18530

  78. Alright stop, stop making him say it! You just made this worse, a whole lot worse.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18536

  79. Stop talking all at once!

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18539

  80. Let go of the little jerk boy before he has learned his lesson?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18541

  81. You know what Jim, the world would be a better place if people were held accountable for their actions.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18543

  82. I'm not kidnapping him, I'm keeping him until I get what I want.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18545

  83. I think you're over-thinking it.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18547

  84. Yes, is Alfredo there? Can I speak to a manager then? Okay, can you tell the manager that I'm keeping his delivery kid until I get a discount on the eight pizzas I ordered. Yes, I know it is not on the coupon. Also I would like him to throw in two, three pizzas for our...

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18549

  85. Trouble. Okay, alright.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18551

  86. He said no.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18553

  87. No, no.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18555

  88. Mister Overdramatic, what's up Kevin?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18563

  89. I'll just wave and introduce myself.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18578

  90. Hey, I just think you should know that one of my salesmen beat your stupid computer, so take thathole.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18597

  91. Hey, have you seen Jim?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18609

  92. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18612

  93. Hey, hey, hey stop it. Stop it now, God. Oh my God, oh my God, no, no, no. I kidnapped a kid.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18616

  94. I could have paid for the pizza.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18618

  95. Oh my God, oh my God.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18620

  96. This is Michael.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18621

  97. You're breaking up. I can't hear you.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18623

  98. Mmm-kay. I want you to go in there, and pay him for the pizzas, and give him a generous tip, no more than ten percent.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18625

  99. I will open the door.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18627

  100. And hopefully he will walk out, and the rest is out of our hands.

    Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18629