Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 49)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 49 of 122

1. Acrimonious.

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2. This way to the party bus. Good.

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3. It's a bus that takes you to a party. Here we go.

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4. Here we go. Come on. Okay, everybody here?

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5. Then, Mr. Driver, we are off like a herd of turtles! Johnny Carson.

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6. Nothing.

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7. No.

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8. No!

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9. No.

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10. No, we are not.

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11. You are really annoying me. If you don't knock it off...

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12. ...I'm never gonna tell you anything ever again. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

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13. No. We're only 10 minutes from the lake.

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14. Yes, I am choosing my apprentice. Which is why I have modeled all my games after Survivor.

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15. Any questions?

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16. Yup.

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17. Yes, for dramatic affect.

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18. Very good, Jim. Pam, please note that Jim is very astute. All right, are we ready?

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19. Set!

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20. Go!

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21. Okay. Pam, who came out best in the race, in your opinion?

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22. Because he wasn't following the rules.

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23. But they didn't complete their task, Pam! If people can't carry an egg in a spoon, blindfolded, then what does that tell you about how they will be able to manage a sales report, or conduct a business call?

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24. Exactly. Are you sure you're doing that right? Taking an awfully long time.

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25. Okay, all right.

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26. It's very important that you all try to eat as many hotdogs as you can...

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27. Son of a bitch. God! Okay. All right you know what? Here we go. On your mark! Get set!

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28. No mustard! No mustard! Just... eat it. Eat it, Phyllis. Dip it in the water so it will slide down your gullet more easily.

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29. No, no, no, no, not that--- just... come on, you guys, let's do it! I'm serious. Who's got the hungry?

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30. Who's got the hungry?

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31. Come on, Ryan...

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32. Ryan, I want to see you with a hot dog in your mouth. Right now.

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33. Ready! Go!

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34. You? You haven't made a sale.

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35. Don't try to flirt your way into this. Sometimes you really creep me out.

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36. Andy Bernard is in first place with four hot dogs! Dwight Schrute is a close second with three and a half! Here comes Stanley! Here comes Stanley, with three hot dogs!

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37. This is an inflatable sumo suit. Now, in the olden days, when they wanted to find a guy who could be king, they would have him pull a sword out of a stone. Well, times have changed. And it's not even about who is the best sumo wrestler. It's about who is the best boss. And I don't even care who wins. It's how they wrestle in a blow-up suit... that will tell me all I need to know or how sumo...

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38. David!

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39. Are we all set?

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40. Yes. I just happened to be in the neighborhood, thought I'd drop in and say hello.

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41. Thought I'd catch a show.

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42. Naaah. You know what? Since I'm here, let me ask you a few questions about the job.

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43. Um, how many people are you interviewing?

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44. Ah, well, good. Out of curiosity are you interviewing anyone who has been here longer than I have, or manages more people?

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45. Great. One more... question. When you merged those branches who did you put in charge?

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46. Ah, great. No further questions.

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47. Okay.

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48. And I'm really looking forward to working with you.

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49. I got it made in the shade. I know this company. The other branch managers are total morons. Hey, Pam yeah, I forgot what day the interview was and I drove to New York accidentially. I'll be like three hours late.

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50. Yeah.

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51. Yes, the time has come to name my own replacement. So please hand this letter of congratulations to Dwight K. Schrute.

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52. Okay. Uh...

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53. Uh, okay.

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54. Stop crying.

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55. Ohhhhh...

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56. Why so you can do it?

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57. No, um, well I was thinking that uh, actually we could all leave tomorrow and do a convoy you know? Convoys are really fun. Pull up next to each other, give each other the finger...

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58. Moon each other.

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59. All right.

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60. Your loss.

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61. Cruise control.

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62. There they are, the Accounting Department. I shall miss your humility and your promptly printed checks.

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63. No. Not at all. I haven't talked to Jan since we broke up, and I think if she had something to say she would have called me.

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64. No, no, no. You know what? It's a done deal. I basically have the job already. There's nothing she can do to stop it now. I already sold my condo.

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65. Yes, I...

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66. I have to buy another place.

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67. I sold it on eBay. The buyer was very motivated, as was I. It went for eighty percent of what I paid. Sold in record time.

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68. Who is D. Abramson?

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69. Why... are you here?

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70. I'm good. How are you, Janet? It's good to see you.

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71. Why privately?

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72. Okay, sure, fine. Um, why don't you wait in my office. I have some important business matters to take care of.

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73. Okay.

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74. Pam, Defcon ten. Houston, we have a problem.

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75. Uh, I may need some immediate assistance. If you would slowly and quietly gather the ladies in the conference room. Phyllis, Angela, Karen.

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76. No. She's an alternate.

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77. So, how you been?

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78. Good.

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79. Yeah.

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80. Weird. Yeah, I didn't get both of your messages.

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81. Hmm.

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82. Sound good. Sounds fun.

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83. Hmm..

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84. Would you excuse me for a second?

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85. Defcon twenty. She wants to get back together.

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86. I don't know, that's why you're here, help me. Please...

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87. No, no. What do I do?

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88. What if she makes me?

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89. She made me do a lot of things I didn't wanna do.

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90. I wasn't.

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91. You're right. You're absolutely right. I'm gonna go in there and tell her that we can't be together.

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92. Wow.

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93. I'm in a very good place right now. Thank you.

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94. Okay. Jan, we need to talk.

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95. Jan is in a different place right now, and it is a sign of maturity to give people second chances. So I am going to hear her out.

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96. Yeah.

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97. First got priorities.

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98. Let's get back together.

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99. No. No, no, no, no. I'll tell you this, it is

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100. Remarkable.

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