Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 40)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 40 of 122

1. Hello. Hi. Attention everyone. Um, apparently, there is an email circulating around that contains a very PG-13 rating picture of me and a woman---

   Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12927

2. No, Kevin. A woman. Maybe Jan, maybe...

   Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12929

3. My point is that, if you get it, I would ask that you just delete it. Sight unseen. Let's be professional, all right?

   Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12931

4. Feelin'... feelin' hot, hot, hot!

   Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12932

5. Hey.

   Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12934

6. Island living. You know?

   Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12936

7. Did she say what it's about?

   Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12938

8. There are copies in the bathroom?

   Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12945

9. All right.

   Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12947

10. Guh.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12963

11. OK, yup.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12968

12. I...

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12970

13. I... I... Yes.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12972

14. OK, yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12974

15. Who is Dr. Perry? I...

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12976

16. And I, to you, in addition, feel the same feelings that you are as well.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12978

17. So, umm... thanks for coming by. So, I, uh...

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12980

18. Well thanks for coming over, I appreciate -

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12982

19. Jan, you... complete... me.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12984

20. I just had the best, most romantic week of my life in Sandals, Jamaica. Went with a lady, and we laid on the beach and drank fruity drinks for free, because it was all-inclusive. And then I flew back to Scranton, and then they lost one of my bags.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12990

21. Hey, Mister tally man, tally me banana, six hand, seven hand, eight hand, BRUNCH! So delicious. Dinner, too. And every morning I would watch the sunrise and I would eat a mango. That is how I want to feel all the time. It's called island living. You know, how they say take a chill pill? In Jamaica, I took one. Guy on the beach sold it to me for $40. And after I finished vomiting, I was more relaxed than I ever have been. Lost six pounds, too. That's how I want every day to be.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12991

22. Yeah, mon. Me just got back to the office.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12994

23. Me had an i-rey time.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12996

24. Dwight, please, please.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 12998

25. I just got back from vacation, mon, all right? So chill. Let's don't... Don't harsh my mellow, mon.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13000

26. Presents. I got presents for everybody. Dwight, a genuine Rastafarian wig.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13002

27. Andy, I got you a genuine Jamaican T-shirt. They love Milli Vanilli down there.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13004

28. You are so welcome, mon. Angela, you just got leied.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13006

29. Yes, you did. Okay. Oh, Pam, I forgot to get you something.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13008

30. I'm just kidding. Coconuts for your coconuts!

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13010

31. Try it on.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13012

32. Go ahead. Let me know if I miscalculated the size. I don't think I did.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13014

33. Stanley, I got you some ganja. I'm just kidding. It's coffee. I bet you wish it was ganja.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13016

34. I just got back from vacay. Come on. Give me a break, man. Waves over Jamaica, $6.99.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13017

35. Okay, let me tell you a little story. When I was on vacation, I met a man named Bavon. And Bavon takes people parasailing. And you know what he said to me? He said that he loves going to work every day. How many of you can say that you love going to work every day like Bavon? No one.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13021

36. His name is Bavon. And you know what? I'm sure Bavon gets sick of his job, too. I'm sure he would like to take a day off. I'm sure he would like to spend a vacation selling paper, but he has the right attitude. And that is something that you learn when you go to Jamaica, and you really apply yourself.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13023

37. I would love to take them all to Jamaica, but is that good management? Yes. But is it the best management? Well, I can't afford it, and corporate won't pay for it. So who's the real criminal?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13024

38. How many of you know the meaning of the Jamaican term, Hakuna Matata?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13025

39. I...

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13027

40. Oh, that's red eye.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13029

41. Well...

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13032

42. Hey, can we just focus?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13034

43. Okay. Well, Jan's email password is not Dunder Mifflin, Sandals, Jamaica, Michael, Michael Scott, Jan Scott, or Mrs. Jan Scott.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13043

44. Her passwords aren't going to be Dwight, Dwight. That's stupid. Okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13045

45. Don't you have some sort of chaser or gobbler thing that you can send out that's able to eat up that other emails? I read about something like that. Well, I am in America and I am online, so I do think it involves you. Uh-huh. And if I were a subscriber, would then you be able to send out the gobbler? I'd... Yes, I will hold.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13046

46. Hey! Hey! Stop your mouth, please.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13068

47. Hey, Stanley, in case I don't see you again after tonight, here is your bonus, $1,000 cash. Keep the change.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13084

48. It is Jamaican. The exchange rate is 65-to-1. I don't remember in which direction.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13086

49. Yes, good luck with that.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Quote 13088

50. Jim, could you come in here please?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13097

51. Sorry, oh wow, that's so rude. I'm sorry, I can't control him.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13101

52. You know what? Get Pam.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13103

53. Pam.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13105

54. Oh, that is gross.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13110

55. Damn it.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13112

56. Dwight, care to join us, finally? Thank you.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13133

57. Yes. Ok, here is the dream team. My sales dream team. Today we are going to team up for sales calls. Andy, since this was your idea, you get to pick first.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13135

58. Oh.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13137

59. Well, I appreciate that. That is very gracious of you.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13139

60. Well, thank you sir. Ok, now going by seniority. Phyllis, our resident senior.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13141

61. Good. Next up, Superfly himself, Stanley.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13144

62. You can't pass. You've got to pick somebody.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13146

63. So that just leaves Dwight and Jim.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13149

64. Dwight?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13154

65. Here ya go.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13156

66. Please.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13158

67. Long story. All right everybody, circle up. Here we go. You know what this is? This is the 'Amazing Race.' And you guys are the retired marines. And you guys are the mother and daughter. And you guys are the gay couple. And we are the firefighter heroes. Are we ready to go?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13160

68. No, we're just going to rush out, do the sales thing, and come back.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13162

69. Just bragging rights.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13164

70. It's just... brrrrrr... It's 'Amazing Race,' Phyllis. Okay? We're in teams of two and we are on a mission. All right, so, on your mark, get set, go. Let's do it.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13166

71. Whoah, whoah. Oh hahahaha. Vamanos!

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13169

72. Here we go.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13175

73. Ugh... that is a long story. Um, couple of months ago, Dwight tried to go behind my back with Jan and get my job and I am now having him do my laundry as punishment.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13178

74. Hawkman.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13195

75. Let's go. The men's room was disgusting.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13197

76. Hey, did you catch that up at Lake Wallenpaupack?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13206

77. You know, I used to go up there all the time with my step-dad, and I never caught anything that big.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13208

78. You know what? Let's get right down to it. Dunder-Mifflin may be just two rooms and a warehouse, but what we lack in flash, we will make up for with hardwork and decency.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13210

79. I think what Andy is trying to express is that while we have the resources of a large company, we will give you the care and attention of a small company.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13213

80. No.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13215

81. Stop it. Stop it.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13217

82. Yes.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13221

83. Ah, no. Don't worry about it.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13223

84. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13225

85. I don't know. Who knows how words are formed.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13227

86. Yes, Andy.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13290

87. He didn't say.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13292

88. No, you are remembering it wrong.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13294

89. Dwight betrayed me once before. So this is his strike two. You know what they say? Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice, strike three.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13295

90. I knew it.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13302

91. Where were you this morning?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13327

92. Why do you lie, liar?

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13329

93. You are lying right now.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13331

94. I know that you went to corporate this morning, and I know that you lied about it. And given our history, I need you tell me this instant exactly what you were doing.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13334

95. Ok, you know what? I want you to think about your future in this company. I want you to think about it long and hard.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13336

96. Don't. Don't you dare. I want to know what you were doing this morning by the end of the day.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13338

97. Good luck.

    Season 3 · Episode 12 · Quote 13354

98. Yes, Dwight Schrute has left this company. More personnel turnover.

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13379

99. Yes, well. It is a big loss. Dwight was the top salesman...

    Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13381

100. I said 'was'.

     Season 3 · Episode 13 · Quote 13383