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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 39)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 39 of 122

  1. I don't know. No one can hear me. You know what? Start the party.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12517

  2. Ahh, damn this chicken is good. My compliments to the chef. Which is you! Right? Hahahaha. Awesome! I need some meat. I want some steak. I see steak.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12539

  3. Excuse me Ah, un guard. Family style.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12541

  4. I don't think... I love it!

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12544

  5. I don't know what he's doing.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12546

  6. You know what we should do?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12583

  7. We should invite them to the Christmas party.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12585

  8. Oh, you are such mench my friend.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12587

  9. OK, where is everybody? I would like them to meet my new girlfriend.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12588

  10. The least I could do was give some poor sick kid a bike.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12590

  11. Nah, you rock. Tell you what, if you want it, it's yours.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12592

  12. Oh. That's what she said.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12594

  13. Hello? I would like everybody to meet my new girlfriend.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12595

  14. The giant baby. Wow, I am so sorry, I had no idea this party would be so lame.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12599

  15. Oh, party in the break room! Let's go, let's go! Thank God! Let's go to the break room.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12601

  16. Shhh... Shut it! C'mon! Party.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12605

  17. We're going to ...

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12607

  18. I just think there are two, two specific kinds of people in the world. People who own houses and people who own condos. And... my question to you is do you agree?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12609

  19. Do you agree about what? Wow. You're lucky you're so darn cute.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12611

  20. What're you talking about?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12613

  21. When you know, you just know.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12643

  22. Check her out. My little gal over there. Babe-alectable.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12645

  23. It's... it's one of those two.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12647

  24. Yeah... well, it's been hard, they're wearing the exact same uniform. And I've been drinking. And you know how all waitresses look alike.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12650

  25. I honestly don't see what the big deal is. Stevie Wonder is married. Are you going to tell me that Stevie Wonder doesn't love his wife just because he's not sure what she looks like?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12651

  26. Hey. Where's my girl? Is she in the fridge? Where is she hiding? I don't know where she is. 'Cause I'm drunk, I can't even find her.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12652

  27. Haha, I do! I just haven't hugged you in awhile

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12654

  28. Oh, good. That felt good. Let's go. Party.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12656

  29. Hey, hey, you. How are ya?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12666

  30. No, no, no. Hey, you should stay because we are having fun and...

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12668

  31. Where do you wanna go?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12670

  32. I... you know what? I, OK, listen. I like you. I really like you. So much in fact, that I would like you to accompany me on a trip to Sandals, Jamaica.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12672

  33. You want help? OK... Merry Christmas.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12674

  34. That waitress was the one.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12677

  35. How can you be sure?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12679

  36. Don't make fun... You're making fun of me.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12681

  37. I guess, I didn't know her very well. I marked her arm.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12683

  38. I, I put a mark on her arm. So I could tell them apart. I don't... I know, I know. I can't believe I gave her my bike!

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12685

  39. Oh, why do I feel like crap?

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12687

  40. I had rebound? Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12689

  41. I totally rebounded. Someone else shoots and I take the ball and I score. Well, I guess I didn't score and I'm not sure who's actually shooting, but, whatever. Doesn't matter. It's all good. Or as my ex might say. Domo arigato, Mr. Scott-o.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12691

  42. Yes, I just wanted to see if, uh you would like to come to Jamaica with me. There's this resort called Sandals. Really? OK. All right. I promise you won't be disappointed. Umm, It's all-inclusive...

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12693

  43. William Randolph Shakespeare once wrote in one of his plays, and I'm paraphrasing here, 'Love doth be poison.' Brilliant. And a lot of people don't give Shakespeare enough credit. They think it was somebody else. A-holes.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12707

  44. No, no, no, no. You know what, I better hold off. I wanna make sure I don't dial Carol before I get drunk.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12733

  45. Yeah. You know what? I am. I'm gonna call her. That's a good idea.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12735

  46. [on No, I don't think I'm asking too much. I think it's only fair that you tell me exactly what I did wrong. Okay. Uh huh. Well that... yeah. Uh huh. All right. Well, could you tell me something that I did

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12737

  47. Oh, honey, here's Stanley.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12769

  48. He is also in an interracial relationship, so, you know, if you have any problems, you can always call him.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12771

  49. Sounds good. Okay, let's go.

    Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12773

  50. Hey, mon!

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12796

  51. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Relax.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12798

  52. Just relax, OK? I'll get to all of it later.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12800

  53. Aren't you going to ask me how Jamaica was? Say it. Ask me.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12802

  54. It was

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12804

  55. Stanley. You know what? It is really good to see you, too.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12806

  56. OK, well payroll is in charge of all that.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12808

  57. Well, I am just getting settled in. So, I'm gonna...

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12810

  58. You are not as much fun as your Jamaican brothers... mon.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12812

  59. Feelin' hot, hot, hot! Feelin' hot, hot, hot! Feelin' hot, hot, hot! Feelin' hot, hot, hot! That's all I know so far, but I'm gonna keep practicing.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12816

  60. You know, I had never been out of the country before now?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12818

  61. Got to see how Jamaicans live. It is great, you know. They just relax, they party all the time.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12820

  62. Yeah... Gosh. Great. You know what, Pam? Make a note. I want us all to start having pina coladas every day at three.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12822

  63. Inventory's at the end of December.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12824

  64. I specifically went on vacation so I would miss it.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12826

  65. Inventory is boring. In the islands, they don't make you do stuff like take inventory. Why do you think so many businesses move to the Caymans?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12827

  66. Tonight, we are going to have an inventory luau. I want to bring back a little slice of paradise to the Dunder Mifflin warehouse inventory. So, Party Planning Committee, get on it.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12828

  67. The Jamaicans don't have a word for 'impossible.'

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12830

  68. How hard is a luau? All you need are some grass skirts, pineapple, poi, tiki torches, suckling pig, some fire dancers. That's all you need.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12833

  69. Come on in. Settle in. Settling. Settling... and settled. Good, there is something I would like to show everybody. See this sign? 'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem.' This is an attitude I would like all of you to have right here. So what, if we have to stay late to do inventory? No problem.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12834

  70. No, no, no. No, that's a German woman named Urkel Grue.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12839

  71. Jan told me to play it cool and not tell anybody because it can get us both in trouble. So officially, I did not see her. But I did see Jan there. In our room. At night. And in the morning. That's all I'm gonna say. Sex. We had sex. I had sex with her. I had sex with Jan.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12840

  72. Hey dude. I just got back from Jamaica.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12841

  73. Yeah, that sounds amazing. You know what? The lady Jan Levinson wanted to go to Montego Bay.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12843

  74. Well I'm looking at a photo, right now. And I'm telling 'ya, could be in Maxim.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12845

  75. Oh no?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12847

  76. OK. Well, check this out. I am sending you some email. You got it?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12849

  77. Check it again. Hit refresh.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12851

  78. OK, wait a second. I sent it to you at... Packer@DunderMifflin.com.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12853

  79. Darryl?! Hey. Hi. Where's Darryl?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12855

  80. OK, Hey, man, how's it going?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12857

  81. That's great, OK. Um, so did you get an email from me?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12859

  82. OK. Well, that was supposed to go to Packer, not 'packaging.' Did you already, um, forward to a whole bunch of people?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12861

  83. OK. Um, well, did you get the second email that I sent? Explaining that the first email was a mistake and that you should delete it.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12863

  84. And you sent that out to everyone?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12865

  85. I have a special assignment for you.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12879

  86. A sensitive email has been released to the office. It contains a file, a picture. The file name is 'Jamaican Jan Sun Princess.'

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12881

  87. Not important.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12883

  88. OK, forget it.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12885

  89. Not now, not ever.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12898

  90. Aww, none of your business.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12900

  91. That photo is my personal property and if you are telling me you went on my computer and stole that photo, then I am going to call the cops.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12902

  92. This is probably the icebreaker you need.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12904

  93. I bet you would love all the details, wouldn't you? Skeevy little perv.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12906

  94. No, no, no. I am not dating Jan. She was very clear about that. Just two like souls having a romantic time in the most romantic place on earth. Got enough, weirdo?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12908

  95. OK.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12910

  96. Oh, God, no. No, no! Hang up! Hang up! Tell her I'm not here. Tell... tell her, I ran out for cash. I hit a deer. I hit a deer with my car. Tell her I hit a cat. Tell her I hit a cat.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12916

  97. She bought it? OK. OK.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12918

  98. There an accident? Somebody hurt?

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12921

  99. Oh. God. No, no, no, no, no.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12923

  100. All right.

    Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12925