Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 37)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 37 of 122

1. Oh! Oh! Oh!

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11760

2. Scuse me! Scuse me!

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11762

3. You me? You me? Me you? You! You! You me! Bow Bow Bow!

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11764

4. You me? You me? Me you me! You! You! You me you! You! Oh my nose is so itchy, why's my nose so itchy!

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11766

5. Okay, I told you these guys had a sense of humor.

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11768

6. Okay! Okay!

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11770

7. All right, all right, I'm on a roll.

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11772

8. Why are the new people on the table? To show them that we are not above them.

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11773

9. Not today. No. Tony! Please join your cohorts on the table if you would.

   Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11775

10. I understand. We're all friends.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11777

11. Oh, well. Just use the momentum of your lower half to hoist yourself up.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11779

12. You know what? I'll help. I will...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11781

13. Don't be shy! Dwight! Let's do this!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11783

14. Come on. We're doing this thing! Let's get up.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11785

15. Bend at the knees. Okay, here we go. Here we go. I'm under this... I'm under this hock here. I don't know what I'm grabbing here.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11787

16. We've almost got it. Push it! Push it!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11789

17. I'm right in your crack!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11791

18. Up and over.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11793

19. Up and over.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11795

20. You've got it.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11797

21. You've got it, you've got it.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11799

22. Whoa Whoa Whoa! Okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11801

23. Easy.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11803

24. Don't...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11805

25. What...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11807

26. I don't understand.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11809

27. Well, we'll squeeze you in.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11811

28. You can't quit! On the first day. That's heresy, my friend! Okay, let's talk about this. What happened? I mean, what... Was it Toby? Did he say something? Cause he's... what?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11813

29. My management style? So... didn't you think 'Lazy Scranton' was funny?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11815

30. Okay. Well, don't bother quitting because you're fired.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11817

31. You are fired! I'm sorry, but we don't have quitters on this team! Just clean out your desk!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11819

32. Don't try to apologize to me, man! It's too late. Just get out! Take your bad vibes with you.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11821

33. Probably the best advice you ever gave me, Dwight.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11823

34. Whoa, Angela! Hold on. Hooters is a restaurant. With over 400 locations worldwide.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11828

35. No. We do have to get along. Can't we all just get along? Or have we forgotten the words of the Reverend King.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11830

36. The word merger comes from the word marriage. And that was what today was supposed to be. The loving union between people. Instead, it has become like when my Mom moved in with Jeff. And once again, it becomes my job to fix it.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11831

37. Hey! Hey, everybody! Something happened! Those guys from Vance Refrigeration, they let the air out of our tires.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11832

38. Yeah! They punk'd us! They punk'd us good! Come on. Come on!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11834

39. Man, they got us so bad. We cannot let them get away with this. We have got to pull together as one and steal their refrigerators.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11837

40. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11839

41. Go home, Toby. Just...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11841

42. Why? I will tell you why. Because they saved the worst for me. They put a hate note under my windshield wiper. Check this out. It's so hateful. 'You guys SUCK! You can never pull together as one and revenge us. That is why you SUCK!'

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11843

43. No. No, no, no. No. You are falling for it. You're playing right into their hands. This is just what they want you to do. Don't, oh...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11845

44. THIS IS EGREGIOUS! This is egregious!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11848

45. See that? Mission accomplished. Like a bunch of fourth graders. Sometimes, what brings the kids together is hating the lunch lady. Although that'll change. Because, by the end of the fourth grade, the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out with the most. Jell-o!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11857

46. Hi, Jan!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11859

47. I did. Major personnel crises averted. Compliment accepted.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11861

48. Yes.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11863

49. But do you realize that that was actually Dwight's idea? Bad advice from my Number Two.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11865

50. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11867

51. Yes, I know that. For, I do read the memos.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11869

52. So after a great deal of thought and introspective-shun, I have decided to make Jim my new Number Two.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11870

53. Uh... that I have not decided yet.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11874

54. Thank you, Andy. That's... very kind. Thanks.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11876

55. Shut it...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11878

56. Shut it! That's... suck up!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11880

57. And this is, don't tell me, Martin... Ne... Ne...Nack.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11926

58. Martin Nash. Okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11928

59. Good.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11930

60. What are you talking about?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11932

61. All right, just...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11934

62. Smiles.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11984

63. Good, what's funny?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11986

64. Oh, nicknames, yay! Penguin power.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11988

65. Good.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11990

66. Hey, girls. What's happening? Startinng to blend? Well, before long, you guys keep hanging out, you guys you are gonna share the same menstrual cycle.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11991

67. Can't we all get along? No, we can't. But here's the thing: yes, we can. Well, why not? Because of differeneces. Well, can we overcome these differences? No. Can we find each other and connect with each other in spite of these differences? No, we can't. But, we have to try and that is why I created the Integration Celebration.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12007

68. I need somebody to pick a card. One of the new people, please? Tony?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12008

69. All right. Good. Thank you. Do not look at your card. Now, I've always said that to be a great salesman is to have the ability to connect with people right here. So to be a great salesman is to be a king of hearts. Turn over your card.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12010

70. So I think in order for us all to work together well we must come together as a family and then we can all be a king of hearts.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12013

71. Dwight, don't, don't be a suck up.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12016

72. What I want all of you to do is approach one of the new people and tell them the one thing that you like most about them. Who wants to start? Who wants to give it a shot?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12017

73. Okay Meredith, let's give it a shot.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12019

74. Beautiful. Very good, nice.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12022

75. Okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12025

76. We heard it.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12027

77. We heard what you said. You didn't cover it at all.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12029

78. They're gonna have... You can't say that, all right?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12031

79. Idiot. Dwight's an idiot! Did you catch that or did... did the cough cover it?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12033

80. You're a jerk. Dwight's a jerk!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 12035

81. Ohhh, wow. Look at that. How cute.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12042

82. Ohh. May I?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12044

83. Hey, look at me, I'm a baby! I'm one of those babies from 'Look Who's Talking.' What am I thinking? Look at all those staplers! What's a stapler!? I don't even know, I'm a baby! Hey, Mom, I'm thirsty! I'm thirsty, Mama! I want some milk. And you know where milk comes from! Breasts.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12046

84. Yeah, Jan, it um... looks like a check, piece of paper of some sort. Receipt. I don't know.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12052

85. I didn't hire an ex-convict. Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist. ... I'm just kidding.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12057

86. Hey Jan, speaking of Stamford, Hannah brought in her baby.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12062

87. Hannah?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12066

88. Kuhhhh... you are such a racist.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12072

89. Because you think he's black.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12074

90. Stop it. Stop it right-stop it right now.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12076

91. Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish that Josh had made a more progressive choice. Like a white guy... who went to prison for... polluting a black guy's lake.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12080

92. In our society, a black man can be arrested for almost anything. He was probably at a sporting event and... saw some people pushing each other, and he intervened.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12082

93. Sssssso, what we need to do... is to forget about this whole Martin in prison thing. People will draw unfair conclusions about Martin and or black people.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12084

94. Good. All right.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12088

95. Just... try to be cool.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12101

96. Okay, are you cool, really?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12103

97. Um... Martin, from Stamford, was, at one time, in prison. No. Dwight! Be cool! Be cool!

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12105

98. Hey Martin, how's it going?

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12114

99. Ah. Good good. Good. Just a second. Everybody? May I have your attention please? I realize that a lot of you have already heard that Martin here has had some trouble with the law, but I just want to declare publicly that I... trust... him, completely, and that anybody who doesn't is an ignorant, dumb... person. Okay? As a matter of fact, you show me a white man you trust and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam. Tell me a white person you trust.

    Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12116

100. ...Danny Glover. Yeah.

     Season 3 · Episode 9 · Quote 12118