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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 43)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 43 of 122

  1. David will always beat Goliath.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14116

  2. Yeah, yeah. You know what else is facing five Goliaths? America. Al-Qaeda, global warming, sex predators... mercury poisoning. So do we just give up? Is that what we're learning in business school?

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14118

  3. Dunder-Mifflin is the big picture! Can't you understand that? No, you can't. You're too young. Ryan... has never made a sale. And he started a fire trying to make a cheesy pita. And everybody thinks he's a tease. Well you know what? He doesn't know anything, and neither do you. SO SUCK ON THAT!

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14120

  4. Business is always personal. It's the most personal thing in the world. When we get back to the office, pack your things.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14122

  5. You heard me, pack your things.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14124

  6. Fire you? No, no no. You are moving... to the annex.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14157

  7. A good manager doesn't fire people. He hires people and inspires people. ... People, Ryan. And people will never go out of business.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14159

  8. Pam-casso! Sorry I'm late, I had to race across town.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14169

  9. Wow! You did these... freehand?

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14171

  10. My God, these could be tracings! Ohh! Look at this one. Wow! You nailed it. ... How much?

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14173

  11. I don't see a... price.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14175

  12. Well, yeah. Yeah, we have to have it for the office. I mean, there's my... window, and there's my car! That your car?

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14177

  13. That is our building... and we sell paper. ... I am really proud of you.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14179

  14. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14181

  15. ...Chunky. Do you want half?

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14183

  16. Okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14185

  17. It is... a message. It is an inspiration, it is... a source of beauty. And without paper, it could not have happened. Unless, you had a camera.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14186

  18. Well ultimately I went into business to inspire people. They say those who can't do, teach. I can do both. I teach doing.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14190

  19. Wow! That's a lot of books, do you have, umm, one book that sums up all of these.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14192

  20. So no?

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14194

  21. Oh, umm, ever since I started here, I've kept a diary of all my sales.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14196

  22. No, it's just mileage mostly, but there's one chapter that I call wisdoms. I'm going to read you a series of statements, and I want you to tell me, on a scale of one to ten, how smart they are.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14198

  23. Don't do what I say, say what I do.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14200

  24. Just getting warmed up. Mistakes are just successes that you mess up.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14202

  25. This... You know this is a scale of one to ten?

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14204

  26. OK. Do you want me to repeat that?

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14206

  27. Everybody please stand, and get up on your desks. Just stand right up.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14224

  28. That's, yep a little flimsy. Umm... OK... Ahh... Alright, no more desks. Oh OK.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14226

  29. I have a lot of big ideas, and the trick is to get it out of my brain and into theirs, in a way that is easy to swallow. Simple... Kids love candy bars.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14227

  30. Lets try a little... Little social experiment here. Raise your hands if you like to buy things. OK, I see some people who like to buy things. You're it, you are the reason this world rolls along, give yourselves a round of applause. Say, say you want to start a business, and business is all about buying and selling, is it not? So say you want to sell lemonade, or stickers. Something you have to keep in mind, you must, and you might want to jot this down, you must sell the stickers for more than you bought the stickers for.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14228

  31. Oh, Oh, I take umbrage to that premise...ses. Umm, let me ask you this: How many people exist in the world? Over forty billion. What are they going to be writing on... rocks? Any one else? Yep.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14230

  32. No no no no no. Never follow, always lead.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14232

  33. OK.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14234

  34. Very good.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14236

  35. OK.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14238

  36. Bop bop de Bope bop bop bop bop bop. You only have me for a limited time... Yes.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14240

  37. How can I put this? That question makes you sound gay.

    Season 3 · Episode 16 · Line 14242

  38. Can you confirm that the straps are tight?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14260

  39. And now, the chains.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14262

  40. A lot of people think that magic camp is just for kids. And that's why so many other people in my class were kids. Self fulfilling prophecy. It's um, it's really for anybody with a dream and a belief in magic and a little extra time after school.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14263

  41. MAGIC MAGIC Magic Magic magic magic... And now, Michael the Magic, will attempt to escape from extreme bondage. Can he do it? I don't see how he can.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14264

  42. No. No. Everyone, now count down with me. THREE!

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14266

  43. I will get out. Oh yes, I will.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14268

  44. No. Alright, this is getting hot. So let's just do this. Ok, ready? Three, two, one, go.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14270

  45. AHHHH!

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14271

  46. Yes.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14273

  47. I cannot tell you how I plan to escape. Other than by using magic. That is the magician's code. Separately, on an unrelated note, if you happen to find a small brass key...

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14274

  48. Alright.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14275

  49. Ready? Come on guys. Early worm gets the worm.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14277

  50. Pam, would you smell my breath?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14280

  51. Michael, you go to parties all the time, why is tonight so special?' Well, tonight is so special because my boss's boss's boss, the CFO, not his initials, common mistake, is having a little shindig for all the managers in the company. And Jan and I are going as a couple. For the first time. So it's kind of our coming out party. Really. And that is why tonight is so special.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14283

  52. Jimbo, last chance to carpool.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14284

  53. Sure? Might be a good idea.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14286

  54. Go in together, could save some gas, have some fun, long trip.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14288

  55. Play some games?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14290

  56. I spy?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14292

  57. Oh, sure. Really didn't give it any thought. Wait, should you be going? Heh-woh you.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14296

  58. Hey, Buttercup.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14298

  59. I am on my way. I should be there in about 15...

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14300

  60. That's what she said.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14302

  61. Uh, yes you are.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14304

  62. No problem.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14308

  63. Ok.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14310

  64. Ok. Jan. Jan? This party is actually a really big step for us. So, I...

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14312

  65. Ummm... I don't know.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14314

  66. Maybe.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14316

  67. Ok.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14318

  68. Alright. Bye.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14320

  69. Beauty. Thank you sir!

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14326

  70. Thank you.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14328

  71. Shut up. Ok, change shirts with me.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14330

  72. I don't care. Oh, wow. Here. Don't put my jacket. Don't give me that.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14332

  73. Yes.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14334

  74. Ok.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14336

  75. Hi.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14341

  76. Actually, it's polite to arrive early. And smart. Only really good friends show up early. Ergo de facto. Go to a party really early. Become a really good friend.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14342

  77. Oh, um, potato salad.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14343

  78. No, it's not.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14345

  79. Oh, you probably want to leave the cover on until the guests get here.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14347

  80. It's been sitting in my car all day. Sun beating down on the mayonnaise. Just, you never know.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14348

  81. What are you looking for? You bring dip?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14364

  82. Awesome. I'm going to frame mine. I could frame yours too.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14366

  83. Over our love.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14368

  84. You don't have to, Jan. This contract says it all.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14370

  85. It's a heart.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14373

  86. I love this woman!

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14375

  87. Rachel. Boy, you clean up good. Place looks great with all the lights on. And everything. Actually looks bigger with people in it. It's weird. So...

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14381

  88. Jan and I are lovers. It feels so good to finally say that out loud.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14386

  89. Ok.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14389

  90. It did. Like butter. Mike Myers, SNL. You should ask Karen, she was one of them.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14393

  91. Yeah, but you're great now, right? We're all great. Aren't we great?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14395

  92. I could go for an appeteaser.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14398

  93. Bagel bites or something.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14400

  94. Dwight, wow. That's not appropriate.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14406

  95. David, how much did this house cost?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14410

  96. Here is to Mr. Iacocca and his failed experiment, the De Lorean.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14421

  97. Yeah. Do you have any ice?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14423

  98. How about some Splenda?

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14425

  99. This one really smells like vanilla. Check that out.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14457

  100. You and the misses should join us at Sandals Jamaica next Christmas.

    Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14459