Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 32)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 32 of 122

1. Hey, check this out. How about that? A little friendly competition. Stamford versus Scranton.

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9864

2. Oh, Jim. Looks like you picked a bad time to defect, my friend.

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9866

3. Okay! Excellent. Oh...

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9868

4. Shut it. Hey, Pam, what's up? Yep, yech... no. Tell him I will give him general specifics tomorrow, okay? Yes. Say hi to Pam!

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9870

5. Yes. That is Josh and Dwight and Jim. Pam says hi. Have fun on your date! Very good, talk to you later. Bye.

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9872

6. You first.

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9873

7. Not. It hit the rim. Okay, and... okay. Double or nothing.

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9875

8. Well, let's...

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9877

9. Come on!

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9879

10. Come on!

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9881

11. Fine.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9884

12. Jim and I have different definitions of friendship. I think it's talking and being friends, and Jim thinks it's moving to Connecticut and being best friends with Josh. Well, phooey on that. I, uh, I'm done. I am not going to be speaking with him anymore. Whatevs. Long-distance relationships never work.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9885

13. Okay, let me tell you what we're looking for.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9887

14. Sorry, my meeting ran late.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9889

15. Yes, Jan, really. With a rep from HammerMill.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9891

16. Used to be. Evan will call you in the morning to work out the details. We can now sell HammerMill products.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9893

17. Yeah, well, maybe next time you will estimate me.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9896

18. Hey, first guest! You are going to have some tequila, my friend.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9907

19. This is the party.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9909

20. Party central! So, what can I do you for? All right.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9911

21. People have been filtering in and out.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9925

22. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9927

23. Sure. You like Cosmos?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9929

24. Sure, sounds good. So why are you here? Is Josh busy?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9931

25. I get it! No, no, I totally get it. He made a better paper airplane, Stamford is better in sales... I get it. We had some fun. We had some laughs. And that's just...

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9933

26. I'm not better than Josh.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9935

27. Oh my God. You don't even know. She's single now.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9937

28. I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry. Hey, you know what? I will talk to her.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9939

29. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9941

30. I will. I'll talk to her. You should at least talk to Roy. I mean, he knows exactly how you're feeling.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9943

31. Hey! No, you know, people have been filtering in and out.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9946

32. Evan, this is Jim.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9948

33. Hey, Ernie, how ya doing?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9951

34. Best friends.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9954

35. Some people need dozens of friends to say, 'Hey, look at me, I'm popular.' But not me. I'm very picky. I need three, maybe two. When you meet that someone special, you'll just know. Because a real relationship, it... it can't be forced. It should just come about effortlessly.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9955

36. Now, would you do the pleasure of hitting the lights, sir? Ha, ha, ha.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9956

37. Whoa. What are those stains?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9958

38. Oh, God, I hope it's urine.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9960

39. Today I'm headed to Philadelphia for the annual Northeastern Office Supply Convention. Wooo-yaaaaah! Oh, these things tend to be kind of crazy.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9961

40. Ah.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9962

41. Per-diem. Perrrr-diiiiieeeemmmm! You know, Ryan, it's all about the Benjamins.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9964

42. Right there.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9966

43. Yes. What? Oh, yeah, have Pam give those to me.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9968

44. Sure you don't want to come?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9970

45. Gonna be fun! Change your mind we can get you a cot.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9972

46. A couple of years ago, I went to one in Hartford. 'Connecticut.' And Todd Packer and I went to this bar and met a girl. And Packer decides to make out with her. Turns out that her boyfriend is the bouncer at the bar. I love this. The bouncer chases us out to Packer's Vette, jump in the Vette, he

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9974

47. See that factory?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9975

48. I almost worked there.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9977

49. Yup. Yeah, I applied for a job there.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9979

50. I was going to be a bottle capper.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9981

51. I know, I know. Crazy world. Crazy, crazy world.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9983

52. Josh reminds me of a guy I went to high school with. Big football star, girls loved him. Whatever. Guess what he's doing now. He's a TV announcer for the Eagles. Up in the... He doesn't even get to play in the game, I mean.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9985

53. Ahhhhhhhhh. I'm hungry.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 9997

54. Movie Monday! The only cure I know for the Monday blues is... Varsity Blues!

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 9998

55. Let's gooooo! Let's go, let's go, let's go!

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 9999

56. Alright, everybody here? Yes.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10001

57. Yes pleeeeease! Thank yooouuu!

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10003

58. Entourage!

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10006

59. Kevin, would you like to do the scenes from last week?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10007

60. Don't whine. Get the window.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10010

61. Previously on Varsity Blues...

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10011

62. Hi Jan! Hope you brought the Milk Duds!

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10017

63. People work faster after...

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10019

64. No... they have to... to make up for the time they lost watching the movie.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10021

65. Ok.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10071

66. Ouchy.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10073

67. Three hours, wow. Have fun.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10075

68. Hi.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10091

69. Oh. That's nice.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10093

70. ...what?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10095

71. ...you were at the dentist?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10097

72. Ok.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10099

73. What was Dwight thinking? That he could turn Jan against me? She's my ex-lover! ...ish.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10100

74. Hey Dwight.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10134

75. Do you want an M&M?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10136

76. No seriously. You should have an M&M, they're really good.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10138

77. They're good, huh?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10140

78. Hey. I thought you weren't supposed to eat anything for a couple hours after you've had a crown put in.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10142

79. Sounds like a good dentist.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10144

80. What's his name?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10146

81. Your dentist's name is Crentist?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10148

82. Huh. Sounds a lot like dentist.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10150

83. Let me see your teeth. Let me see 'em. Let me see 'em.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10152

84. You should... floss.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10154

85. Well then... I am glad you're ok.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10156

86. Business is like a jungle. And I... am like a tiger. And Dwight, is like a monkey, that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? Pun. There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger's head. We don't have the technology.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10157

87. Dwight, can I talk to you for a second?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10158

88. Wow, this is tough.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10159

89. Ohhhh. Arrrgggh!

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10161

90. Well, I just got off the phone with Jan. And um... she demoted me.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10163

91. Yeah. You know what the craziest part of this is? She demoted me to your job!

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10165

92. And she said that you should be expecting a call later from corporate, and that um, I guess that means that you are going to be acting manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10167

93. I know. I told her I didn't know whether you'd wanna do it... because you've always been so loyal to me. You've been my most trusted ally.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10169

94. Yep, I did. I did. But I think... you should do it.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10171

95. Perfect, well, we're settled.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10173

96. All right. Well then, you are now acting manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton Branch, and I... am assistant regional manager.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10175

97. Ohh..

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10177

98. Can't you? That's so nice.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10179

99. Well... I guess we should go tell the troops.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10180

100. Hey, hi, hello. Everybody, I have some good news, and I have some bad news. I... am being replaced, as your leader, by Dwight.

     Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10182