Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 32)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 32 of 122

1. Hey, check this out. How about that? A little friendly competition. Stamford versus Scranton.

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2. Oh, Jim. Looks like you picked a bad time to defect, my friend.

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3. Okay! Excellent. Oh...

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4. Shut it. Hey, Pam, what's up? Yep, yech... no. Tell him I will give him general specifics tomorrow, okay? Yes. Say hi to Pam!

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5. Yes. That is Josh and Dwight and Jim. Pam says hi. Have fun on your date! Very good, talk to you later. Bye.

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6. You first.

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7. Not. It hit the rim. Okay, and... okay. Double or nothing.

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8. Well, let's...

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9. Come on!

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10. Come on!

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11. Fine.

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12. Jim and I have different definitions of friendship. I think it's talking and being friends, and Jim thinks it's moving to Connecticut and being best friends with Josh. Well, phooey on that. I, uh, I'm done. I am not going to be speaking with him anymore. Whatevs. Long-distance relationships never work.

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13. Okay, let me tell you what we're looking for.

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14. Sorry, my meeting ran late.

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15. Yes, Jan, really. With a rep from HammerMill.

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16. Used to be. Evan will call you in the morning to work out the details. We can now sell HammerMill products.

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17. Yeah, well, maybe next time you will estimate me.

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18. Hey, first guest! You are going to have some tequila, my friend.

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19. This is the party.

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20. Party central! So, what can I do you for? All right.

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21. People have been filtering in and out.

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22. What?

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23. Sure. You like Cosmos?

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24. Sure, sounds good. So why are you here? Is Josh busy?

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25. I get it! No, no, I totally get it. He made a better paper airplane, Stamford is better in sales... I get it. We had some fun. We had some laughs. And that's just...

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26. I'm not better than Josh.

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27. Oh my God. You don't even know. She's single now.

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28. I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry. Hey, you know what? I will talk to her.

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29. Yeah.

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30. I will. I'll talk to her. You should at least talk to Roy. I mean, he knows exactly how you're feeling.

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31. Hey! No, you know, people have been filtering in and out.

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32. Evan, this is Jim.

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33. Hey, Ernie, how ya doing?

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34. Best friends.

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35. Some people need dozens of friends to say, 'Hey, look at me, I'm popular.' But not me. I'm very picky. I need three, maybe two. When you meet that someone special, you'll just know. Because a real relationship, it... it can't be forced. It should just come about effortlessly.

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36. Now, would you do the pleasure of hitting the lights, sir? Ha, ha, ha.

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37. Whoa. What are those stains?

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38. Oh, God, I hope it's urine.

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39. Today I'm headed to Philadelphia for the annual Northeastern Office Supply Convention. Wooo-yaaaaah! Oh, these things tend to be kind of crazy.

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40. Ah.

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41. Per-diem. Perrrr-diiiiieeeemmmm! You know, Ryan, it's all about the Benjamins.

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42. Right there.

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43. Yes. What? Oh, yeah, have Pam give those to me.

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44. Sure you don't want to come?

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45. Gonna be fun! Change your mind we can get you a cot.

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46. A couple of years ago, I went to one in Hartford. 'Connecticut.' And Todd Packer and I went to this bar and met a girl. And Packer decides to make out with her. Turns out that her boyfriend is the bouncer at the bar. I love this. The bouncer chases us out to Packer's Vette, jump in the Vette, he

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47. See that factory?

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48. I almost worked there.

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49. Yup. Yeah, I applied for a job there.

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50. I was going to be a bottle capper.

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51. I know, I know. Crazy world. Crazy, crazy world.

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52. Josh reminds me of a guy I went to high school with. Big football star, girls loved him. Whatever. Guess what he's doing now. He's a TV announcer for the Eagles. Up in the... He doesn't even get to play in the game, I mean.

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53. Ahhhhhhhhh. I'm hungry.

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54. Movie Monday! The only cure I know for the Monday blues is... Varsity Blues!

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55. Let's gooooo! Let's go, let's go, let's go!

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56. Alright, everybody here? Yes.

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57. Yes pleeeeease! Thank yooouuu!

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58. Entourage!

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59. Kevin, would you like to do the scenes from last week?

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60. Don't whine. Get the window.

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61. Previously on Varsity Blues...

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62. Hi Jan! Hope you brought the Milk Duds!

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63. People work faster after...

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64. No... they have to... to make up for the time they lost watching the movie.

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65. Ok.

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66. Ouchy.

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67. Three hours, wow. Have fun.

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68. Hi.

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69. Oh. That's nice.

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70. ...what?

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71. ...you were at the dentist?

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72. Ok.

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73. What was Dwight thinking? That he could turn Jan against me? She's my ex-lover! ...ish.

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74. Hey Dwight.

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75. Do you want an M&M?

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76. No seriously. You should have an M&M, they're really good.

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77. They're good, huh?

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78. Hey. I thought you weren't supposed to eat anything for a couple hours after you've had a crown put in.

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79. Sounds like a good dentist.

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80. What's his name?

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81. Your dentist's name is Crentist.

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82. Huh. Sounds a lot like dentist.

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83. Let me see your teeth. Let me see 'em. Let me see 'em.

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84. You should... floss.

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85. Well then... I am glad you're ok.

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86. Business is like a jungle. And I... am like a tiger. And Dwight, is like a monkey, that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? Pun. There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger's head. We don't have the technology.

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87. Dwight, can I talk to you for a second?

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88. Wow, this is tough.

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89. Ohhhh. Arrrgggh!

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90. Well, I just got off the phone with Jan. And um... she demoted me.

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91. Yeah. You know what the craziest part of this is? She demoted me to your job!

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92. And she said that you should be expecting a call later from corporate, and that um, I guess that means that you are going to be acting manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton.

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93. I know. I told her I didn't know whether you'd wanna do it... because you've always been so loyal to me. You've been my most trusted ally.

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94. Yep, I did. I did. But I think... you should do it.

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95. Perfect, well, we're settled.

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96. All right. Well then, you are now acting manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton Branch, and I... am assistant regional manager.

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97. Ohh..

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98. Can't you? That's so nice.

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99. Well... I guess we should go tell the troops.

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100. Hey, hi, hello. Everybody, I have some good news, and I have some bad news. I... am being replaced, as your leader, by Dwight.

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