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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 33)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 33 of 122

  1. You might think that I am kidding, and I understand that.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10184

  2. Because, Dwight... never lies.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10188

  3. Because that's all it takes.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10190

  4. Ok, Dwight, would you like to say a few words to everybody... about loyalty?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10191

  5. Oh, I'll be fine.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10194

  6. No, no, I don't, but---

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10196

  7. I... won't. I won't.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10198

  8. Well, I guess it's time, that I turn over the keys, to the famous Sebring.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10221

  9. It's a corporate lease Dwight, you've earned it.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10223

  10. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10225

  11. But you said you liked it. You've always admired it.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10227

  12. Take it back.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10229

  13. That's my car.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10231

  14. THAT'S MY CAR.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10233

  15. I know, Dwight. I know. I know. I know.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10235

  16. Jan called me about your little meeting!

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10237

  17. I know, what you did. I made the whole thing up, Dwight.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10239

  18. Oh do you? Do you like the Sebring--- HOW DARE YOU?! How dare you, Dwight?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10241

  19. Give me one good reason why I should fire you RIGHT HERE ON THE SPOT?!

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10243

  20. Not. Good. Enough!

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10245

  21. I have a laundry machine!

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10247

  22. I don't know if I can trust you anymore.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10249

  23. You can get up. Get up. And you can hug it out, bitch.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10251

  24. Hug it out, bitch. That is what men say to each other, after a fight. They hug it out, and doing so, the just... let it go. And walk away. And they're done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman however. I have found. It doesn't translate.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10252

  25. Yep. Yeah, we hugged it out. But, it turns out, I was still a little angry. So, I felt I needed to punish him, just a little bit more, and I'm making him do my laundry for a year.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10255

  26. Okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10256

  27. It is not your business, Dwight.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10258

  28. What do you know about management, Dwight?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10260

  29. I'm not firing anyone.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10262

  30. ... What?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10264

  31. Okay. Here we go. Everybody, you know what? It dawned on me we were all in there watching a movie together before we were so rudely interrupted, Let's get back in there. Come on. Movie Monday! Come on, Stanley let's go.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10266

  32. Ryan?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10268

  33. Okay, well, we had scheduled this time to watch a movie together, so I guess I will just go play some online Scrabble.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10270

  34. So, she sleeps with him, but she is still in love with the head surgeon, um, the McDreamy guy, and she starts crying, but the dorky doctor, he's in love with her...

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10274

  35. Really?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10276

  36. Hey Ryan, can I get you a pencil from the warehouse?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10288

  37. Oh, it's okay, I'm going down.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10290

  38. All right, I'll be right back.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10292

  39. There you go.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10294

  40. You're welcome.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10297

  41. Don't mind if I do. See you in a minute.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10299

  42. There you go, fresh from the warehouse.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10301

  43. There's coffee in the kitchen, Pam.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10303

  44. All right. Okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10306

  45. I am like Bette Midler in For the Boys. Gotta keep the troops entertained.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10307

  46. All right.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10309

  47. Oookay. Let me see if I have his cell. Is this the only reason you are calling, Jan? Or does somebody miss me?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10311

  48. Oh, wow.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10313

  49. Attention, everybody. I just received a call from corporate with some news they felt that I should know first. My old boss Ed Truck has died.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10314

  50. Yes, I am. It's very sad. Because he was my boss.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10316

  51. That's right, you worked with him. So did Creed. Well, I'll be in my office in case anybody wants to drop by. Cheer me up.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10318

  52. So did you hear the news?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10319

  53. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10321

  54. Oh, gosh, what can anybody do, really? It's... pssssh... . He was almost 70. Circle of life.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10323

  55. [holds out arms to Pam]

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10325

  56. Yeah. Mmmmmm.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10327

  57. Yeah. Must really have you thinkin'.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10342

  58. The older you get, the bigger the chance is you're gonna die. You knew that.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10344

  59. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10346

  60. Oh my God.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10349

  61. That is just not the way a Dunder Mifflin manager should go, I'm sorry. Alone, out of the blue, and not even have his own head to comfort him.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10354

  62. So, I'm not exactly sure how to say this...

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10355

  63. What are you doing?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10357

  64. I didn't... he was driving on the road and he went under a truck. And that's when his head was separated from the rest of him. And I will let you know more as soon as I find out.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10359

  65. I don't understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn't even work here.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10365

  66. You really don't get it, do you? You don't understand these people. That is the last thing that they would want is a day off.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10367

  67. A statue.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10369

  68. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10371

  69. Well, I think it would be very realistic, it would look just like him.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10373

  70. We could have his eyes light up, we could have his arms move...

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10375

  71. I think that is a great way to honor Ed.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10377

  72. Life-size.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10379

  73. Well, we are talking about how to properly honor a man who gave his life as regional manager of this company, Jan.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10382

  74. Mm hm.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10384

  75. Oh do you? You know who wished they could get back to work is Ed Truck.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10386

  76. But Ed truck can't because he is---

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10388

  77. DEAD.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10390

  78. That's perfect.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10392

  79. Oohh... can you imagine how much blood there was? If it happened right here, it would reach all the way to reception. Probably get on Pam.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10408

  80. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10410

  81. Well, you know what? I didn't wanna hear about it either, Stanley, but I did and now I can't stop picturing it. He leaves work, he's on his way home... wham! His cappa is detated from his head!

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10412

  82. Well, you know what? There's something wrong with you. There is something wrong with everybody in here. Because we have lost a member of our family and you don't wanna talk about it, you don't wanna think about it, you just wanna get back to work!

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10414

  83. There are five stages to grief, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. And right now, out there, they're all denying the fact that they're sad. And that's hard. And it's making them all angry. And it is my job to try to get them all the way through to acceptance. And if not acceptance, then just depression. If I can get them depressed, then I'll have done my job.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10415

  84. I am going to throw you this ball. When you catch the ball, I want you to say the name of a person very important to you, somebody really special who died, and then I want you to say how they died, and you may cry if you like, that is encouraged. Let me just start. Let me show you how this works. I catch the ball. I lost Ed Truck. And... it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears... and at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer... and then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone... and I'm crying, and nobody can hear me, because I am terribly, terribly... terribly alone.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10416

  85. Okay, fine. Hurry back.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10418

  86. Okay, we can start. Um...

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10428

  87. Yeah. Pam, you're a member of this family. So we will wait for our family members. Phyllis, you wanna give it a shot?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10430

  88. Okay, why don't you throw the ball to somebody else.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10432

  89. Oh, yes Stanley. Come on. Your turn, you have to go.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10434

  90. Okay... I'm going to toss the ball to Pam.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10436

  91. Wow. If you wanna cry, that's okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10438

  92. Do you want to talk about it anymore?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10440

  93. Wait a second. That's Weekend at Bernie's. Do you think that this is a game?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10443

  94. All right, we're starting over.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10445

  95. You are not leaving. No! We are not done.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10447

  96. Yeah. Well, you know what? The guy who had my job has died. And nobody cares! And he sat at my desk.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10449

  97. How do you know?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10451

  98. That that bird was dead? Did you check its breathing?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10453

  99. Was its heart beating, Toby? Did you check it? No, of course you didn't. You're not a veterinarian. You don't know ANYTHING!

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10455

  100. Oh, God!

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10457