Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 110)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 110 of 122

1. No! It was like four years ago!

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2. Why at least? If you're guessing forty six just say forty six.

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3. How did this happen, how did I get this?

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4. You know what, I feel like one of those old timey sailors. With the eye patch. It's me own damn fault. Woman in every port.

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5. Don't even! Holly was clean! Okay? If anything I gave it to her.

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6. Oh my God! What if I did?

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7. Okay! You know what? Might! Might be crawling with herpes. I might have gotten it after her.

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8. There's no way I'm gonna do that.

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9. [makes grunt in attempt to stop Dwight. Dwight hangs up]

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10. Hi Donna. It's Michael.

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11. I have a disease, for which there is no known cure, that has been sexually transmitted to me.

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12. I can't even say it. H-I...

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13. ...R-P-E-E-S

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14. No, I am calling to see if you gave me herpes. Because if you did I would be able to avoid a lot of sucky conversations. So you have it right?

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15. Does your stupid husband have it?

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16. Yes I am telling you you have to get tested for herpes. Good-bye!

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17. No this is Holly.

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18. No this is Holly.

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19. Busted. So what can I do for you Holly.

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20. Oh really? Was anyone killed?

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21. Any nuns?

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22. Were they in the missionary position?

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23. Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if you hadn't been transferred?

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24. We would have twins.

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25. Mmhmm!

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26. Mhhmm! We would be married.

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27. Do what?

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28. I don't romanticize th- No...

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29. He had no arms or legs, he couldn't hear see, or speak... This is how he let a nation.

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30. We were more than we were.

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31. Ok, alright I gotta go.

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32. It didn't come up organically.

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33. It's nice to see you doing so well.

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34. Bringing home the bacon.

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35. Would you excuse us...

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36. He hasn't changed.

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37. Am I the kind of person to misremember our relationship as more than it ever was?

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38. What?

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39. Well, there was a little bit of a learning curve in the conversation department, but between the sheets we were like Jordan and Pippin!

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40. Because we work together.

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41. Am I the princess?

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42. Ok, so I'm the guy at the station.

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43. I have herpes.

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44. I used to think that she was the one. Or at least A the one. And if I called that one so wrong...

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45. You know, I don't know if I trust Jan's judgment. She...

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46. No, I'm not talking about paper. Relationships, they have the ability to point out if the man is making a bigger deal out of something that is really there.

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47. Yes, I don't...

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48. I know, I know.

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49. Got it.

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50. I'M TRYING! GOD!

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51. Hi stranger! Long time!

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52. I'm Michael. We dated for a while.

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53. Oh hey! Dwight, would you take my grandmother for a walk while I talk to Helene?

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54. Did I make more of what we had then what was really there?

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55. Just a quirky indie movie weird sort of thing, breaking all the rules. But had to end, because the summer was over. For you...

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56. Jerk.

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57. Real entertainers, like Billy Joel.

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58. Carroll, how are you?

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59. I'm great! I saw your-your sign outside. And I decided, I'm going to pull in, and maybe buy a house from her.

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60. No.

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61. Weird...

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62. He sounds like a nice guy.

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63. Oh wow another living room!

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64. You put the TV here, you put the family over here.

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65. Someone told me that I romanticize relationships

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66. I have herpes.

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67. I just found out today. It's, uh, right there.

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68. Mmhmm, I'm sorry.

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69. I'm between specialists right now.

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70. Well I believe in love at first sight.

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71. I knew what I was thinking at the time, but right now it just seems ridiculous.

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72. Hi Holly it's Michael, I just wanted to call and let you know that I was thinking about what you said. It's just. You know? It's weird. Today I ended up seeing a lot of women that I used to date, and in my mind they were all great. And then when I actually saw them, it was mostly a freak show. And you and me, that must have been a real train wreck. You know what, Holly? You're wrong. You are wrong. I remember every second of us. And talking to them today, I don't feel for them anything like what I feel for you. I didn't joke with any of them, I joked with you. You are the only one who was actually happy to hear from me. And I don't know why you downgraded what we had but I did not make us up. Ok. Oh, wait, and you should talk to a doctor because you might have herpes. Bye.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39454

73. Oscar, we once sucked face in public. As part of an office presentation to destroy the stigma of gay kissing. Do you recall?

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74. You may have given me a sexually transmitted disease.

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75. Herpes duplex.

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76. I have already contacted all of my ex-lovers except for you.

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77. Flower shops, fireworks celebrations...

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78. Moolit Gandala, carrage drive through Central Park...

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79. An electric car dealership.

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80. Oscar! Think abou- Think!

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81. Look at that.

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82. Nice!

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83. She is a beaut!

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84. Oh, look at that. Smooth roll.

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85. Oh, god!

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86. Yes, I can ride a bike. I take spinning classes three times a month. I think I know how to ride a bike.

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87. I did, yes! I had those extra wheels on the back...that support you. Mi-chael! Mi-chael!

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88. Oh, my god!

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89. Ow! You never forget. Whoo!

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90. Brainstorming session is now open. Anyone has an idea-Hold on. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hello?

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91. Oh, hey. No, I'm not busy. What's up?

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92. It's Jim, Okay? Yes.

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93. You need the big guns, yes?

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94. I will see you in ten. Bye! Hold tight. Well, I know a lot of you thought that my sales days were behind me, and to be honest, so did I...and the only reason I got out of the sales game was to be reluctantly called back in.

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95. No, I don't have time for this. Are you kidding me?

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96. No! Okay. All right.

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97. Oh, no, that's a male model.

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98. That...hello. Michael Scott, Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company.

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99. Nice to meet you.

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100. Yeah, well...we call it overkill. Why am I telling you my strategy?

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