Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 112)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 112 of 122

1. Okay, that might help. If you said 'I'm sorry' in front of everybody.

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2. In front of me.

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3. So that's it.

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4. Is it?

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5. Yeah, I gotta get in on this. Hey, it's cool, man, I work in the warehouse! I'm cool! I'm hip and I'm jive! And I don't care about nobody! Do you know who I am? Happy Halloween, jerk!

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6. Still don't know who I am? I'll give you a hint. I go over other people's heads.

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7. What's a bad idea?

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8. NEVER! Okay, you know what? Fine. I'm not Darryl. And thank God I'm not Darryl.

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9. Hey, can I play? Why don't you ask if Darryl is a bad friend who backstabs people in the back?

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10. Aaah! Darryl moved it. You moved it.

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11. Dwight, you saw Darryl move it, right?

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12. If you had one word you would use to describe Darryl what would that word be?

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13. Thank you.

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14. If they're good ideas, I'm not gonna say no!

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15. That was-okay, you make one mistake in fifteen years and you drag me over the coals, after everything I did for you?

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16. Oh...

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17. Well...

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18. Stop it! Stop, stop. We're thinking. We're thinking about it.

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19. You don't have to point to the fact that we're thinking about it. Stop it! Just let us think. Okay, next time you have a really great idea, we will put it in a hat, and then we will have Erin pick it out of the hat and let her decide.

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20. I am not budging on the hat issue.

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21. Okay. We both reserve the right to go to Jo if we disagree with Gabe.

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22. Unless you and I decide we want to talk to Jo, then we'll give her a call.

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23. Sorry I was a jerk.

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24. Friends fight. Friends fight.

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25. That's true, that's true. I dated her momma, and you know what-

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26. Um... kay. Uh, alright.

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27. Top of the Sunday morning to you.

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28. Oh, yes. Doobie-doobie doo.

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29. I invited everyone in the office because it's not a day for just Jim or Pam or the baby or me. It is about us all. And I thought we should all celebrate... my joy. And our, all of ours joys.

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30. Hey. Hey. I got an offer that you can't refuse. Scooch over.

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31. But I'm the Godfather.

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32. Are you talking to me?

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33. Scooch. Before I shoot you in the head.

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34. Yeah.

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35. I'm not the godfather.

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36. So who is the godfather?

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37. Okay. Old friend, like, you've known him since kindergarten?

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38. No, I have plenty of friends, so... all right, well, you have great seats. Enjoy the show.

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39. I don't even know how to say this, but Cece is turning out to be a little b-i-t-c-h. And that's not true, but her parents are kind of boxing me out.

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40. Good morning.

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41. Jim and Pam and Cece really seem to be clicking. They are totally gelling. It's as if they leave my office and they go to another office that sells happiness. And good for them. That's great, because, you know, the paper industry's not gonna last forever.

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42. Good morning.

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43. Good morning.

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44. How are you? Good morning. Good morning.

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45. I am feeling this. Call it the Holy Spirit or the passion of the Christ. I am loving these people.

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46. Oh, after you.

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47. No, I insist. After me.

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48. Thank you. You too.

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49. You know what, guys, let's just enjoy lunch.

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50. Shh.

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51. No.

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52. Hey, Dwight. Dwight, hey.

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53. Are you kidding me? Stop it.

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54. Shh.

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55. Look at that. Look at that. That's fun. We need to do stuff together outside of work. Let's go help Africa. Let's go build an airport. We'll start small. We'll have a car wash. We'll send some cheerleaders to regionals.

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56. Yeah, well, that's just a pick-up scene. Okay, we don't have to volunteer. But I think we should hang out more together.

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57. Look at these people. These are church-going people. And they know how to party.

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58. Well, it's, it's-

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59. No. Okay, you know what? This is inappropriate. What is wrong with you guys? What is wrong with you? What is so horrible about wanting to get together and do something nice? Why did you guys even come today? What's so great about your lives that you think you're better than everybody else? That you can make fun of everybody else? You're mean. You're mean girls. Like the movie, Mean Girls. And Kevin and Stanley, if you don't stop worrying so much about what you're gonna put in your gullet, you're gonna die in about a month.

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60. Bye. Good luck. Good luck to you. Bye. Do good. Do good. Bye. Have fun. We're proud of you. Bye. Okay.

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61. Hey. Hey. Is this the bus to Mexico?

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62. I'll take a shirt.

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63. If you'll have me, yes.

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64. Really? Thank you. All right.

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65. No, I'm not. I'm staying on the bus. I'm already on the bus. I'm going.

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66. It is not irresponsible! I have never been more confident about a decision in my life.

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67. You know what, my job will be here when I get back.

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68. Hey, right?

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69. Tell them that I died, and I turned into an angel, and when they feel a breeze in a room with all the windows closed or that-that chill on the back of their neck, that is just me watching over them.

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70. Tell them that I'm in a meeting.

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71. No, you may not.

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72. Thank you.

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73. See you in a few months.

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74. Mm. That's not gonna happen.

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75. Well, you know what, everybody thinks that I am crazy, and that tells me that I am the sanest person I know. So...

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76. How long till we get to Mexico?

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77. Ooh. What are we building down there again? Like, a hospital? A school for Mexicans? What?

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78. Why aren't they building it themselves?

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79. Do we know how? I don't know how. You know how?

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80. Carla knows. Oh, I feel like there were so many more people on this bus. There were, like, 200, 300 people before. Hey, Carla? Carla? Hi. What are you doing?

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81. What is happening? Oh, God, what is happening?

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82. Oh, God, you know what? I'm gonna be in Mexico for my half-birthday.

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83. And Cinco de Mayo.

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84. No, we-No. You know how these things go. Construction projects, they say three months, and then, after two years, the lazy bums haven't even started. Now we're those lazy bums. I gotta get off this bus.

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85. Can you fake a seizure or a heart attack or something?

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86. Do that. Do it.

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87. Okay, driver, driver, if you're not gonna stop this bus, then I'm going to stop it for you. Okay? Hang on.

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88. Yeah, just get him to stop the bus, please.

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89. Stop the bus, okay?

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90. I didn't sign up for this. You guys are young, that's great. You want to give back to society. I've done that. I need to take.

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91. Blah-di-blah!

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92. We could go back and forth all day. It's not gonna solve anything.

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93. Do you want that for little Jessica? No, you don't. And the answer is clear. Stop the bus. Okay?

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94. Okay, well, a pleasure. Go save the world. We'll keep an eye on America for you.

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95. Why quick?

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96. Is anyone still at the church?

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97. What? Shut up.

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98. It is so nice to be back in a country that has movies.

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99. They have him surrounded. It's the SWAT. The SWAT's arriving.

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100. Ok, that's our street! That's our street! He's going down our street! Come on everybody!

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