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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 111)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 111 of 122

  1. All right.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39595

  2. Buh-bye. I could swear that guy was a male model.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39597

  3. Oh, thank you. All right. On the count of three, it's showtime. Ready, one, two--

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39599

  4. Okay, you know-all right, just forget it then.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39602

  5. It's showtime! Oh...never mind. Let's go.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39604

  6. When I knock on your door, you know who it is; it's Michael Scott. We've been together forever and we-

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39605

  7. You know what? You are having some problems with your loading dock, are you not? All right. We're going to deliver to you on weekends.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39607

  8. And you know what else we're gonna do? I can't believe I'm gonna say this...we are going to offer you our paper at cost. I know. I could get in a lotta trouble for this, so you'd better shake my hand right now.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39609

  9. Shake it, shake it!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39611

  10. Okay. Thank you.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39615

  11. Thanks, Steve.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39617

  12. Stop it. Just stop it. We did what we should have done, we just got bested. Why is there a door close button if it doesn't even close the door?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39621

  13. How do I feel about losing the sale? It's like if Michael Phelps came out of retirement, jumped in the pool, belly-flopped, and drowned.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39622

  14. You know who we always lose out to? Staples, the big guys. Osprey? They're a small company. They're smaller than we are. What's our excuse? How do we combat this guy? Stanley, how do we combat him?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39623

  15. Okay. You know what? You clearly don't care, so why don't you just leave?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39625

  16. Why don't you go outside and...take a shot of insulin and have a nap, okay?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39627

  17. I don't know, your frame, your build-why don't you have a glass of apple juice and tell me you're not a diabetic. See? I could tell by the sound you made when you stood up that you have-okay. Yes, Phyllis?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39629

  18. Oh, my god!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39631

  19. You know what this is? This is a stinger.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39639

  20. Like the movie.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39641

  21. Paul Newman, Robert Redford. They're bank robbers.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39643

  22. Shhh! Hey! That's my mug.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39654

  23. Yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39656

  24. Oh, no, no. No. Don't-

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39673

  25. Testify.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39675

  26. Yeah, he is that good-looking.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39677

  27. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39679

  28. Pull it together, all right? Stop lookin' at him.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39681

  29. Oh...my god! He's making her sell to him.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39685

  30. Stay-

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39699

  31. Oh!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39704

  32. Don't let us down.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39733

  33. No, no, no....

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39739

  34. I'm goin 'in!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39741

  35. Stop, stop! Oh, my god! Okay. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Gross! Stop it, please. Everybody, stop.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39743

  36. I said stop. Okay, Danny...this is not Pennsylvania Solartech. This is Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company. This is Meredith Palmer-

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39745

  37. Don't! Get away from him. Please, just leave. Get out of here. Go. Forever.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39747

  38. I owe you...a most sincere and humble apology. We were trying to watch you to see your sales technique, so we could stop losing so many clients to you.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39749

  39. A surveillance room next to this one.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39751

  40. Yes. And it's the sincerest form of flattery.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39753

  41. Well-

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39755

  42. Okay. You know what, it wasn't just me. Jim and Dwight are behind that wall in the surveillance room and it was their plan as well.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39757

  43. No, we don't. Here's-here's my point. Danny, listen, you have to understand that we are not normally like this. We just-we wanted to know your tricks.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39761

  44. You are, you are. You are! Stop it, stop it. Stop. You are a good salesman. And because of that...I want you to work for me.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39763

  45. So, you will?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39765

  46. Hold it, hold it. Hold on, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. Wait. Danny, I want you to look at me. Do you want your life to be better...or to be worse or to stay the same?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39767

  47. Answer the question. Do you want a better life, Danny?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39769

  48. I know, I know.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39771

  49. Do you want more freedom, less freedom, or to stay the same?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39773

  50. I can give you more money-there's your better life. I can let you come and go as you please-there's your freedom. And you already know Dunder-Mifflin has the best service and the best prices, but you beat us anyway. Can you imagine how well you would do selling our stuff?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39775

  51. Everyone, may I have your attention? I would like to introduce you to Mr. Danny Cordray. He is going to be joining us as our new traveling salesman. Say hello to Danny!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39776

  52. O-kay. You know what? No. No. This is not some sort of construction site...or all of Italy, where you can just go around treating people like meat. We are to respect him. I respect him because he reminds me of somebody. Can anybody guess who that is?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39778

  53. No. No. No. Somebody in this office.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39781

  54. No, me. Right? Sorta like...a little younger version of me.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39784

  55. Yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39787

  56. No, you may not.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39789

  57. I said no.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39791

  58. We're not-

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39793

  59. Okay. Let's-all right, all right. Let's talk. Please don't let him leave. Don't leave. Don't let him.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39795

  60. Guys, let me ask you something. Do you want your life to be better or worse or stay the same?

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39798

  61. Okay. Well...get ready, 'cause it's gonna get better.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39800

  62. No, no. Wrong. He would have stolen your clients, but you know what? He can't now. This guy used to steal sales from us; now, he's going to steal sales for us.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39802

  63. He doesn't need to sit, he's a traveling salesman. Look, I am not going to exclude good people from our staff simply because they are threatening to you. And unless you have a better argument than that, I suggest you leave.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39804

  64. Good-bye!

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39807

  65. This morning, Danny Cordray stole a sale from me. So what do I do? I go out and I steal Danny Cordray. The sale that mattered, I made. Boom. Funny thing about it, we don't even need him. We already have Packer on the road. Chhguuh! Crap. I forgot about Packer.

    Season 7 · Episode 5 · Line 39849

  66. All right, everybody, take a seat. As you may have heard, our branch on the planet Jupiter is up eight thousand percent in sales!

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39871

  67. A lot of people are really getting into Halloween this year! Six seconds, MacGruber! Pam's got a lot of fun stuff planned! Uh, two seconds MacGruber! Including a... costume contest, and bobbing for apples, and a Ouija board... OHHH! BOOM! OHH EXPLOSION! MACGRUBERRRR!

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39880

  68. MACGRUBER!

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39892

  69. Oh, here we go!

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39894

  70. OH! Who likes to water ski on Lake Erie? No wai-where does Dracula like to water ski?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39896

  71. So, wait, drivers are going to be able to sell paper on the road?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39899

  72. Blackula!

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39905

  73. Oh, so... I almost forgot. You'll find this hilarious. Apparently corporate is going to have drivers sell paper on their routes now. That's like, exactly sort of the idea that you had.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39907

  74. Yeah. I'm sorry. I blew this. You should have gotten credit for that, man.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39909

  75. Really? We're good?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39911

  76. Okay. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39913

  77. Oh. It's a ream of paper. Thought you might hit me.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39915

  78. Darryl Philbin is the greatest guy in the world. And you know what I'd like? I would like to have all the racists brought together and take Darryl Philbin out to lunch. Just to see what they're missing.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39916

  79. Erin! Would you please do me a solid and get Darryl Philbin on the speakerphone?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39953

  80. Hi, Darryl, come out here, please.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39955

  81. You need to stop being so shy, come out here, and embrace who you really are, superstar!

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39957

  82. Yeah, I bet it is! If you're gonna do your job well here, you gotta get used to being embarrassed.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39959

  83. This whole delivery slash sales idea? You know whose idea that was? That was Darryl Philbin's. He thought of that way before the corporate fat suits.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39962

  84. I got in the way. I said no. And it just stopped. But then corporate comes up with this idea, but you know what? They need to know that it was yours. And I don't care if I take a bullet. We're gonna call them, we're gonna put them on speakerphone right now...

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39964

  85. And we are going to straighten this out.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39966

  86. Mmhm!

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39968

  87. I'm a little peeved at Darryl right now.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39970

  88. No, he didn't go behind my back. He went over my head.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39972

  89. What is taking someone from behind?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39974

  90. It was a good idea, though.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39976

  91. What the hell are they talking about?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40005

  92. Do you think that Kevin is going over my head? I don't-Oh my GOD. Okay. All right. All right. You know what? That's inappropriate, Kevin. I am your boss, and if you have something to say, it goes through me, and then I take it to Gabe. Chain of command. Do you understand?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40007

  93. Oh, you're sorry?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40009

  94. What did you just thought?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40011

  95. All right.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40013

  96. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40015

  97. Well, don't let it happen again.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40017

  98. I-

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40019

  99. Okay, this whole going over my head-gate? Is making people act weird. The chain of command is crumbling. Do you know what just happened? I just made Kevin cry. And Gabe looks like Lady Gaga. That's not Halloween. Halloween should be a day in which we honor monsters and not be mad at each other.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40037

  100. You went over my head. And then you lied to my face. So my head and my face have taken a beating.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40039