Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 107)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 107 of 122

1. How about Thursday?

   Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37802

2. I can't do Thursday. Book club. How about Friday?

   Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37804

3. Oh, really? 'cause I was thinking we could go to this concert. Spice Girls are opening for Weird Al. Front row. It'd be a great, great concert.

   Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37806

4. Oh okay. Well, maybe I could stop by.

   Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37808

5. Nope, that's Tuesday.

   Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37810

6. You're cheating. You're cheating on me.

   Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37812

7. Pam told me.

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8. Who is he?

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9. The other man. Who's the guy? Who is it?

   Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37833

10. I'm the mistress?

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37835

11. Toby has been leaving radon kits everywhere, like he owns the place. The first time I threw mine away, I thought it was an ant trap. But I figured I'd rather live with ants than with his creepy little disc. The second time... I thought it was one of those, you know, those things you turn over and it moos. Like a cow thing. But upon closer examination, it was another ant trap, so I threw it away. And the third time... I did it out of spite.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37844

12. Pfffffttt.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37845

13. You're kidding me? God! You say radon is silent, but deadly, and then you expect me not to make farting noises with my mouth? What is this?

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14. You know what? We're not gonna die of radon, we're gonna die of boredom.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37849

15. Right? And if I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

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16. Okay, alright.

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17. I would kill Bin Laden and then Toby.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37856

18. Okay geniuses, how would you do it?

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19. I don't know.

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20. Yes, we stab Toby through the heart with an icicle.

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21. Toby, just do it! God!

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37870

22. Good work.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37874

23. Morning everyone.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37895

24. Hello!

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37898

25. Oh, thank you. It's reversible, I think.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37900

26. Oh! Oh wow, are those Eagles' flavors? Cake it to the Limit. That's my favorite! I love that! Too much for me to have by myself. Anybody wanna share?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37903

27. Okay. Well... that's random. I will dig into those later.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37905

28. No, I gotta go. Text me later.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37926

29. Hey.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37931

30. Oh, Hooters to go. Nice.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37934

31. That... exists?

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32. Okay, well, I'll have to take a rain check, but thanks for the offer.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37939

33. Okay, Pam... she's not invisible so stop asking silly questions.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37941

34. Since when is this an office where we delve into each other's personal lives?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37943

35. I like Donna. Is it wrong to keep seeing her? Depends on who you ask. I mean, if you ask her husband... or you took a random poll, yeah, it's wrong.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37944

36. Well, I think we all know what you're capable of Meredith.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37946

37. People, this is Scranton. And many people consider that to be the Paris of northeastern Pennsylvania. And in Paris, it is rude for a woman to have less than four lovers.

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38. I will have you know that I asked Donna about this and she is fine with it. And just to be sure, I asked her again afterward. Same answer.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37952

39. He is never gonna find out. He is a high school baseball coach. He wakes up early. He goes to bed early. Look at how long it took for him to find out. It was right under his nose. I had to tell him.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37954

40. I'm sorry, it... why is it okay for Stanley to cheat or for Phyllis to cheat...

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37956

41. On her diet! He's a sports guy. He's scummy. Dogfighting. Drugs. They spit.

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42. Real sports with Bryant Gumble.

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43. You know what? You know what? I am declaring a moment of silence right now. Ten minutes of silence honoring Michael Jackson. just sit there and think about Michael jackson.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37962

44. Mm, no, when are you people going to stop casting the first stone? I am not in the wrong here. I am the good guy.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37965

45. Do you think this husband is a super sweet nice guy? Do you think he's an angel? I don't think so. Why is his wife going off and having a little something-something with me? There has to be a problem with him.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37967

46. I am Beyonce always.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37969

47. Yes, I am.

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48. I would love that.

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49. I have work to do.

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50. Let's go. I can't wait to see this jerk who is making me cheat on his wife. I should punch him in the nose for what he's making me do to her.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37977

51. All right, Andy, please.

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52. Shh! Try not to draw attention, please. That's him. That's him.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37981

53. Right there. The coach!

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37983

54. Right there. Look, look. Follow my finger. Okay? see? The grownup by the base?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37985

55. All right. Can you just-- can you just act normal for a second, please?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37987

56. You have no idea what you're talking about.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38022

57. You don't. No, no.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38024

58. You don't know. You don't-- you don't know anything. Look at him. Look at him over there. High-fiving? He didn't even do anything. Kid did all the work. I bet he does that at home. I bet it's like, 'Hey, Donna, why don't you wash the dishes?' 'High-five, Donna.' 'Hey, why don't you bring me my slippers?' 'Hi-five. I'm taking all the credit.'

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38026

59. Okay, well, that's because he's paying their salary.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38028

60. I know, I know, I know. It--I'm--it-- that was a euphemism.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38030

61. Shh! Okay, all right. Don't, don't.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38049

62. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38053

63. No. God. You go talk to him.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38055

64. No, no, no.

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65. I'm good. Oh, my God.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38076

66. Sorry. I got some stomach cramps.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38078

67. Well, that was not at all what I expected. Hoo hoo! Whoo. My heart's still racing. I just looked a man in the eyes and I shook his hand. All the time I was thinking, 'I'm sleeping with your wife.' And you know who does that? James freakin' Bond.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38080

68. Okay, orange slices. There ya go.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38081

69. Don't thank me. Thank Dylan's mom. Here you go! Oh! Ooh Hoo Hoo Hoo hoo!

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38083

70. You love it. There ya go.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38085

71. Uh, no, they didn't say team. They just said coal Hawks.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38087

72. Well, then it wouldn't be the first time I stole something away from Coach Shane.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38090

73. I did.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38093

74. No. We just talked. He's very nice.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38097

75. It did not.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38099

76. Isn't it?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38101

77. I'm awful, aren't I?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38103

78. I'm an awful guy! Ooh!

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38105

79. I am what I am, Oscar. And I want what I want. And right now, I want a piece of cake. From now on, when I'm hungry, I am going to eat whatever I am hungry for.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38107

80. I don't care. I have an appetite for life! Mmm. Mmm! Oh, god. That's Lemon.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38116

81. You'll learn, baby. You'll learn.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38125

82. Yeah, I noticed that.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38128

83. Nope.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38130

84. I have got big balls.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38132

85. Okay. Phyllis. Okay. Look at me. Phyllis, look at-- okay, that's... All right, all right. You know what? I'm sick of this. I'm sick of the little disapproving head shakes. If you think that's going to have any effect on me, it will not. I am going to leave right now and go to a motel to meet Donna.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38147

86. Because a motel is dirty and it is sexy. Like me. And like Donna. And frankly, the stuff that we're into isn't very condo-appropriate.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38149

87. Okay, Morgan Freeman-narrating-everything.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38151

88. Nobody better try to stop me. Good.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38153

89. How do I feel about breaking up with Donna? Good. Moral. I feel proud. Like a grownup.That was not easy because I really liked her a lot. And I'm a little bit emotional right now because I know that I absolutely made the right decision. At the end of the day, we have to do what's right. And it was either living with myself or... being happy. And I picked... the... former.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38162

90. Yes?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38164

91. Umm... I have done some very bad things, things of which I am not proud. I would like to publicly apologize to... the coach and the players. And I vow to never listen to my bodily instincts ever again.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38166

92. Oh. Okay. I was talking about... what do-- what? What's going on?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38168

93. There is nothing wrong, nor will there ever be wrong with any Sabre printers. Case closed. Michael Scott, as seen on TV.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38169

94. OH! Pack Man, I thought you were a girl!

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38171

95. Apparently, there are allegations that Sabre printers can cause a fire. So they asked me to give a statement to the press. I'm like, what? All right. So I do it. It's on TV last night. And it's in the paper today. And it's online. And then I call Froggy 98.7, the request line. I talk to the host about it on the air. It's like, come on, people, enough.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38172

96. Everybody, we are at DEFCON 5. I am officially the second-most watched clip of the day on the WBRE news site.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38173

97. Oh, that teacher who was wrongfully accused of being a pedophile. Now, we cannot let the pedophile win again! I would like you all to go to the website and watch my clip eleven times.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38175

98. Yes.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38177

99. Yes. Come on! Get it up! That's what... let's do it!

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38179

100. Please.

     Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38182