Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 109)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 109 of 122

1. No, just power it down. No, no, no, no, no. Not on Angela's boob. Come on. Come on. Luke, seriously.

   Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38595

2. Okay.

   Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38597

3. All right. Okay. Good job. Okay, email accounts. So we're starting with account setup-

   Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38599

4. Okay, can I have that?

   Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38603

5. Ok, I am going to count down from five.

   Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38605

6. I'm not kidding.

   Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38607

7. Give-okay. Alright, give it up.

   Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38609

8. You are going to learn to be more professional, Luke!

   Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38611

9. That's what you're going to do, Luke!

   Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38613

10. I had to do that.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38615

11. All right. Are we good? You're okay. He's okay. There are many different schools of thought on capital punishment.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38617

12. Yes, of course. What is this in reference to?

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38625

13. Would have been nice to work with my family. It would have been nice if Luke had been able to stay here. But he couldn't. These things seldom work out. I don't know how Ringling Brothers do it. Night after night, town after town, all across America. You would think they'd be sick of each other by now. But, clearly, they make it work. And my hat's off to them.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38643

14. That's it? Really? That's nothing. All right. That's highway robbery.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38646

15. I can do that.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38648

16. Okay. Wait, what?

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38650

17. Is there another option?

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38652

18. This is the worst! You are the worst! I hate looking at your face! I wanna smash it!

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38686

19. Ok, you know what? I made a mistake. I committed corporate punishment. My bad. It's over. It's done. But my punishment is ... um ... worse than hell.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38687

20. I know what you want to ask me. 'Did your mom ever see you naked?'

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38689

21. So you can molest me? Oh, ok. I don't think so. We're going to leave the blinds open so every one can see what a big failure you are. That's the key.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38691

22. One hour.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38733

23. One hour. We've done one hour. Let's just speed this up, ok? Keep it moving. I want to do all six hours today.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38735

24. No, no, no! I know my rights! All I had to do was sit here for six hours. Do my time.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38737

25. You know, do you have any idea how angry this is making me?

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38739

26. Yes, I will. I will talk alright. Be careful what you wish for Toby.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38742

27. Toby, can I really tell you anything?

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38759

28. Well, the other night, I was sitting at the table, eating my penis... I mean peas. That was weird. Aaaah... weird. I think that was ... I was probed. By an alien life form. An A.L.F. Alf, you know, I might have actually been probed by Alf. You might think he's a puppet. You never see the lower half. But there is a lower half.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38761

29. And I was raised by wolves. I was 25 years old before I saw my first human being. Wait, is it a full moon tonight?

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38796

30. Yes, Yes. They are all fake stories. What sort of twisted mind would come up with weird stories like that? Three hours. We're half way done.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38798

31. This is plenty complicated.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38818

32. I've played it once or twice with Jeff.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38820

33. Jeff was my mother's boyfriend, who she married.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38822

34. Yeah, Yeah. I guess I never thought about it that way, though.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38824

35. Yeah. You know what? He took me to a baseball game once, I remember. It was weird though. They took the pitcher out of the game. I felt really bad, because the pitcher wasn't able to play with his friends anymore. But Jeff said that the manager was making a really good move, by taking the pitcher out. He really respected the manager.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38826

36. I was afraid I would find him in the park, playing with another kid.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38834

37. I guess that's why I thought he ran away in the first place. To find a kid he liked better.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38836

38. Right. Why would a dog do that? That's silly.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38838

39. When I hear myself say it, it sounds ridiculous. But I've never said it out loud, so...

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38840

40. Well, lets not get too... This isn't a counseling session... Ok. Son of a gun. Son of a bitch. Wow! Ok.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38842

41. You. Bitch. God! You're very helpful aren't you? You try to help everybody. Do you want to play another game?

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38844

42. You are good. But you know what? You can't help people. You couldn't help your marriage. You lose. I don't need your help. Nobody needs your help. Nobody wants it! You can't help anybody. I don't need your help! Am I going to make you cry?

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38846

43. Ok.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38848

44. You'll do. . . ok. Filled out. Good. Thank you doctor. Take two of these and call me in the morning.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38850

45. You forged them! You forged the forms!

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38915

46. Yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38917

47. Yes, but you had me so worked up that I made a mistake.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38919

48. You don't make a mistake on purpose, Toby! Then it is no longer a mistake... Gabe. He messed it up. He messed up the forms, I bet... 'I mess everything up so I can fix it and keep my job! Bah! Good thing I'm here cause I do nothing. I make everybody nervous!' Ah, ok. Got your notebook? Alright. Alright, lets bang this out. Let's do it to it!

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38921

49. That was amazing! That was awesome! I auditioned for this. When did the cast list go up?

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38931

50. Really? They didn't call me. Who am I playing? ...Andy?

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38933

51. Andy, what time's the show?

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38942

52. How long is it?

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38944

53. Nope, can't make it.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38946

54. They say that no one can take your pride, but the people who cast Andy's play, they took mine.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38947

55. I can't Andy, it's too hard. That's-I put everything I had into that audition. Do you understand that?

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38953

56. Wow.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38955

57. I wish I could, Andy, but I can't. I have plans that night. I'm going to see a friend in a play called Sweeney Todd. You're that friend. I'm going to see your play.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38957

58. And scene.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38959

59. Oh, hey guys.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38981

60. I did, because I am being the bigger man, and balloons are bigger than flowers.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38983

61. Yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38985

62. Nope.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38987

63. This is ridiculous. You'd think they'd discourage people from bringing in balloons.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38995

64. No, Darryl. This guy's a world-class actor. He doesn't daylight as your plumber.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38997

65. Are you kidding me?

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 38999

66. All right, I'm sorry. God.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39001

67. Hello.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39011

68. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39013

69. Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39015

70. Yes.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39017

71. Good.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39019

72. You enjoy the second act.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39021

73. Thank you. You, too.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39023

74. How is that funny?

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39039

75. Boo! Boo!

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39071

76. Mmm! Fruit is so much better when it's dried. I've already eaten, like, 30 apricots.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39075

77. Yeah, good job. Well done.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39082

78. Hmm? No, there were a lot of people booing you. I wasn't one of em.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39084

79. Get your eyes checked, chucklehead.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39086

80. Well, he was getting a lot of applause, and I just didn't think it was indicative of how people were really feeling.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39090

81. That would never happen.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39092

82. Okay. I appreciate the feedback.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39094

83. I don't like that at all.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39096

84. Hey, what's going on here? Post-show blues?

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39129

85. Yeah, I get those every day after work.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39131

86. Oscar. Enough with the sass, please. God! What is wrong with you? Andy, listen to me. Look me in the eye. I thought that you were awesome.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39136

87. I am not just saying that. You can trust that I am telling you the truth. I booed someone tonight. I have no filter. And if I thought you were terrible, I would have booed. And if I thought you had done a better job, I would be saying nicer things right now. But I thought that you were exactly awesome. No better, no worse.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39138

88. I did not say that to make you feel good. I just said it. Total integrity.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39140

89. Come on, Andy, seriously.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39144

90. In the criminal justice system, the people are defended by two separate but equally important groups, the police who investigate the crimes and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories. Kun-kun! I'm just a cleaning lady. Aah! A dead body. He wrapped his belt around his own neck. It looks like a classic case of autoerotic asphyxiation. Yeah, looks like everyone's tightening their belts in this economy. Last time you saw the victim, was he happy? Last time I saw this John, he was-he wasn't a victim, if you know what I'm talkin about.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39148

91. No, that was- I'm just getting into the first act.

    Season 7 · Episode 3 · Quote 39150

92. Good morning Erin, any mustaches? I mean messages?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39192

93. There are many reasons a man would wear a fake mustache to work. He is a fan of the outrageous. He loves to surprise! He loves... other things as well.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39194

94. Look, It's a pimple Phyllis. Avrile Lavigne gets them all the time and she rocks harder than anyone alive.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39196

95. You mean cancer?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39198

96. It is?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39202

97. Just a cold sore, thank you. Phyllis, I don't have acne. I have a cold sore. I don't even have a cold. I don't know how I got it.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39204

98. How?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39206

99. What?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39208

100. Yeah! My last physical when I was forty.

     Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39215