Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 113)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 113 of 122

1. There it is! I saw it! I saw it! He went right by! You missed it!

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2. Grandpa, where were you the day the the Scranton Strangler was caught? Well kiddo, I was there. I was there... And I'll tell you what. You go sell these and buy yourself a nice spaceship.

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3. Walk with me.

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4. Glee? What is Glee, some television program? Jim I need that thing stat!

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5. Dwight! Sign please. I don't have time for parties I don't have time for TV shows. Stanley! What time is that thing I have to do?

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6. Cancel it! Are you still here?

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7. MMM MMM MM MM MM! Did you hear what I said? I'm a very busy man. I don't have time for your TV show.

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8. I'm joking.

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9. I'm joking. I'm kidding around! I'm not actually angry. I'm not busy at all, I'm not doing anything. And I know what Glee is, I'm a total Gleek.

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10. You know who my favorite character is? The invalid. I am coming to your party.

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11. Kevin!

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12. Yes, I am. Are you?

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13. What? No Gabe is... Gabe is not the boss.

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14. Why did you just say he was the boss?

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15. Yeeee... Guys! Do you consider Gabe to be the boss?

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16. Uh huh...

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17. Big...

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18. All right!

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19. Okay okay okay.

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20. Gabe likes to entertain a lot, ad he cooks in an oven, and all that jazz. I just have a different life style. They have these bags of vegetables that steam right inside their own bag. So I'll get a few ingredients, sit down in front of the TV, a bag of vegetables, before you know it I'm ready for bed!

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21. [tossing pizza dough in the air]

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22. Try and destroy the old ways, Gabe, well I will not let you.

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23. Where's Michael? Where's Michael? We can't start without Michael! Oh here he is! Ohhhh. Yayyy, and let the show begin!

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24. Actually I think it's not loud enough. May I? Thank you sah! There we go. Glee right? Rock and roll! Turn it up to elevaan! Spinal Cord!

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25. Well some of us are trying to have a...

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26. Well I will turn up the volume.

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27. Okay... Heeeere's what we're gonna do! Right down the hall is a bed room. All the real Glee fans are gonna go down the hall to the real Glee party in the bedroom, follow me! Where we can crank it!

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28. Pam I have a loaded gun in my desk at work. If I ever start acting like that weenie Gabe I want you to take that gun, and I want you to shoot me like a hundred times in the groin until I'm dead. Okay?

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29. Better men than Gabe have tried to be my boss. David got fired. Charles got fired. Jan went crazy. Ed Truck, who I liked, got decapitated.

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30. Yeah, well I wasn't very hard to find.

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31. Is this the same dough you used for the pizza crust?

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32. So these are pizza dogs, they aren't pigs in a blanket per se.

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33. Well...

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34. He's the longest baby in this room.

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35. You know what Erin you do have to.

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36. That's what she said.

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37. Okay... Alright.

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38. I just went out for a walk.

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39. What? Really? That stinks!

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40. What does that mean? Party's over? Everybody leaves? Are you sure?

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41. Are you kidding me?

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42. Now that's going on?

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43. Boy I wish I could see that. You know what? I have an idea. I don't know if it's gonna work, but let me give it this. Okay, I'm gonna give it shot.

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44. No I was just check- Yeah. Yes I did, yeah yeah.

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45. What is there to like? He's just, he's a weird little skeevy guy with no waist, why do you care whether we like him or not?

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46. Why? I'm not your father. All right.

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47. Go to your room.

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48. Go to your room young lady!

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49. You listen to me. You listen good. You are are

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50. As long as you are living under this roof you are going to do what I say.

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51. Oh do not raise your voice to me!

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52. Gahh, I will pull this car over!

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53. If you break that girl's heart, I will kill you. It's just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl's heart I will literally kill you and your entire family.

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54. Gabe, just go and have fun with Erin. But not too much fun! That girl's gonna turn my hair gray.

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55. My Bad. Space Heater and Fan were both on high, plugged into the same outlet.

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56. Uh... try 'password'.

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57. Uh... it was like eight years ago?

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58. Okay, moving backwards, our I.T. Guys have been... Glasses, Turban, Ear Hair, Fatty 3, Shorts, Fatty 2, Lozenge, and Fatso. I think Lozenge was the one who installed it.

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59. You know what? It made me laugh when I heard it, but Pam got really offended.

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60. The important thing is... this kept us secure people.

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61. Morning.

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62. I'm Facebook.

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63. I sent you a Facebook message yesterday, I still haven't heard anything back.

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64. A what?

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65. Dot com!

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66. I think an investor's ski trip is the best idea. It will be a bonding experience.

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67. I was looking at a trail map, and I was thinking that we should start on a bunny hill, because I've never actually been skiing. And then work our way up to death drop.

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68. Your kidding?!

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69. You and me.

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70. Don't you work here full-time?

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71. Mm-Hmm.

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72. That does sound fun to me.

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73. Excuse me, everyone... SEX! Now that I have your attention...

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74. MONEY!

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75. Pervert.

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76. That's good to know.

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77. Wuphf! All right, I've warmed them up for you. You have the floor, Ryan.

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78. Whoo!

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79. We already have a buyer.

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80. At least.

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81. That's right!

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82. Wait, Ryan, so this could be over by the weekend?

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83. No, not this weekend; next weekend. We were gonna go on the investors ski trip. I bought poles.

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84. Look at that. Triple your investment by January.

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85. There you go.

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86. Do not talk like that, Stanley.

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87. Here we go.

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88. It's Ryan the WUPHF guy!'

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89. He's up there.'

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90. Look at that! He threw 'em on the ground!

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91. No, it's not weird, Andy, and you know what else? We have an offer from Washington University. So monetize that.

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92. What?

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93. I won't sell. And you know what? Ryan and I have the majority of shares. Isn't that right?

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94. I--yes. We're not selling. I will not sell.

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95. Can't talk, saving the planet.

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96. We Don't? Well, why have I been separating the trash into whites and colors?

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97. Eight Years.

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98. No, I won't even consider it.

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99. Right, Yes, yeah. Best friend/mentor.

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100. I think you are wrong.

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