Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office | Page 10

Don't worry, Michael. I'm taking us to shore.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5870

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5921

On the high seas, Captain Jack is the leader. On the land it's Michael. On the ramp up to the boat, I was a bit conflicted. But now that I'm here, I'll follow Captain Jack to hell and back.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5934

Hey, Captain Jack, what kind of fish they got in this lake?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5935

You know, my grandfather told me there was a monster here that eats Catholics. Have you heard...

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5937

If the hull is breached for any reason or the boat is overtaken, I am a volunteer Sheriff's Deputy, and you can count on me.

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5939

Okay, okay. My turn, my turn. Is this thing on? Uh, I want to congratulate the happy couple. You know, they say that marriage is an institution. And I say, who wants to be in an institution?

Season 2 · Episode 11 · Quote 5981

What is going on? What is going on?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6025

I'm coming Michael!

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6028

I'm gonna save you!

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6030

Hold on Michael! I am coming! Wait there!

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6032

Your foot?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6058

It slipped.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6064

Sorry.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6066

Hey, Pam, I'm assistant regional manager, and I can take care of him. Part of my duties are to.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6071

What?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6073

No, I didn't.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6075

What is wrong with

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6077

Aw, man, is that a Prism Duro-Sport?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6089

Yeah, they're like an i-Pod only they're better 'cause they're chunkier and more solid.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6091

Oh, no no no. Don't go there. I know this Russian website where you can download songs for two cents a piece.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6093

Yeah, I'll write down the address for you. Only, the only thing is, is that all the songs are in Russian. ... Kidding!

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6095

Why would they all be...? Ok, see you later, Pan.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6097

These covers are totally indestructible.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6109

Yeah. Throw it. I promise it won't break. Chuck it.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6111

Oh no, it's broken.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6112

No, it's fine. I told you it wouldn't break. You could throw it all day long.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6114

Yep.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6116

Huh. Do you like candy?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6120

Cause you're sweeter than candy.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6122

Dad?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6155

Uh, ugh, ohhhh...

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6217

I want Michael to take me...

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6223

Choo choo choo choo choo choo...

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6230

Vietnam sounds.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6232

Tired...

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6234

Want to take a rake... .

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6236

Ahh!

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6238

Ok, Pam, thanks.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6241

You're the best.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6243

It smells like chicken soup.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6246

I have to go to the hospital.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6248

Where we going?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6250

I'll be back, I mean...

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6252

Why?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6254

Aw, Pam, you're adorable

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6256

[giggles]

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6258

Oh, huggy hugs.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6260

Where are we going?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6267

Where are we going?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6269

I found it under the seat.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6275

I'm thirsty.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6277

No!

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6279

I'm thirsty!

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6281

No.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6283

You can't fire me, I don't work in this van!

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6285

No.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6287

Mmmmm...

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6292

My eyes!

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6297

My eyes!

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6299

Danger.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6301

Hi Michael!

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6310

Ahhh. Mweehaa

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6312

What is that?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6317

That's what she said.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6322

I don't want to do this.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6328

Oh.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6330

Pssht.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6360

Constructing a home-made cast? Genius. Filled with foresight. Like in the pioneer times, if you lost a leg, they would then use the bone of the leg for a cane. They wasted nothing.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6362

Look, I feel fine. As a volunteer sheriff's deputy I have been trained to notice all the signs of a concussion. One of them is slurred speech, ok? Number three, shortness of breath. There are four things you have to remember. One: I am faster than 80% of all snakes. Also.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6383

Into a machine?! Ok. Uh, that's bad, will you stay with me?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6385

Ok, will you please call my cousin Mose?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6387

Oh God. Oh God.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6389

Oh God.

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6391

Next to me?

Season 2 · Episode 12 · Quote 6393

What's up-dog?

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6419

Good. How are you doing?

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6421

Empty mind.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6425

Meredith, men's room. Make sure you replace the urinal cakes. They're worn down. Kevin file drawers. Angela kitchen. Oscar dusting. Where is Oscar?

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6427

That's unacceptable.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6429

Michael.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6432

Oscar is out sick.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6434

Can I do some of the talking?

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6436

Ok, let him know that I'm here.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6438

And Dwight.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6443

Ask him his symptoms. I'm on Web M.D.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6448

Checks out.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6453

Ok. First impressions?

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6457

Which is exactly how you'd wanna sound like if you wanted someone to think you were sick.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6459

Question? May I investigate?

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6461

Listen Temp. I am conducting a little investigation so I'm no longer going to be able to head up spring cleaning. Do you think you can handle it?

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6483

Do you

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6485

Oh God, here.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6487

Hey Oscar how ya doin'? Dwight Schrute calling. Listen a little question for you, buddy. I called six minutes ago and no one answered. So I was wondering if you could explain. Oh, I see, so. Sounds like you're too sick to come into work but your well enough to go to the pharmacy.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6503

There are several different ways to tell if a perp is lying. The liar will avoid direct eye contact. The liar will cover part of his or her face with his hands, especially the mouth. The liar will perspire. Unfortunately I spoke to Oscar on the phone so none of this is useful.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6504

Ok, what is going on here?

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6508

Oh, really nothing? Fact: You are drinking grape soda. You never drink grape soda. Fact: You are talking to Jim. You never talk to Jim.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6510

Ok. So what is the secret Michael?

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6512

Is that true?

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6514

Thank you Michael. I know your telling the truth.

Season 2 · Episode 13 · Quote 6516

Dwight Schrute Quotes from The Office (page 10)