Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 93)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 93 of 122

1. I was thinking exactly the same thing.

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2. I don't know, I don't know about that.

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3. Hold on, hold on! Just-

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4. All right. I will meet with him, but I'm not going alone.

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5. What are you wearing? Who's Pat?

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6. Let's go, come on. God!

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7. Forget it! Forget it!

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8. Take that thing off the table! Please!

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9. Oh my God!

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10. Guys, guys. Cool it. There he is, there he is.

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11. Hello.

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12. Mr. Grotti we meet again. These are my associates.

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13. Yes.

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14. Well.

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15. Okay.

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16. That's not true.

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17. Okay shut up.

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18. I will have the gabba-gool.

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19. The gabba-gool.

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20. I don't, I don't have to have that.

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21. Guys, guys-

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22. That's okay.

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23. Shh. I will have the spaghetti, with a side salad.

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24. If the salad is on top, I send it back.

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25. I don't think our company actually needs any more insurance. So I am out.

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26. No, no no, no. Come on. I'm sorry, we're having our salad.

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27. Hey, do you need any help?

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28. He's a good mechanic.

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29. I don't...

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30. Okay, okay okay.

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31. Yep, all right.

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32. Put it down.

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33. Okay.

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34. Okay.

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35. It's just the cost of a cup of coffee an hour.

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36. I had to make a snap decision Dwight.

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37. It was a lot of snap decisions.

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38. Yes!

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39. Just get in the car.

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40. Jim?

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41. Oh thank God.

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42. It wasn't easy. I had to tell the hotel it was a medical emergency. I chose massive coronary, cause you told me that your Dad had a bad heart. Listen man, I, I got a problem, I think I'm in trouble with the mob. Or a major insurance carrier.

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43. Yeah, I know and you usually can get out of stuff like this, so I'm turning to you my friend.

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44. Okay!

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45. Jim? Are you?

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46. What? Wait, I didn't hear a thing you just said.

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47. No! God! I missed, I missed the important part again!

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48. No! Oh my God!

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49. No, Jim please, repeat what you're saying! I can't understand you!

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50. Jim?!? Oh my God.

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51. Hey uh, question for you. I recently purchased some insurance that I can't afford given my present salary. Is there anything accounting-wise I can do to sort of make it all go away?

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52. Oh no. Um. What about this Cash For Clunkers thing?

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53. All right. Well, it was a thought. Thanks.

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54. No. He's not. He's just good. Nothing sticks to him. You still don't understand how this works.

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55. But Grotti acts like he's mafia though.

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56. [grunts]

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57. If there is one thing I hate more than the mafia it is a liar. I wish the mafia would go out and kill all the liars. Bury them in my yard. And I wouldn't tell the cops a thing. Not that I would be lying per se. But I would just get really quiet, all of a sudden.

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58. This is Scott.

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59. Oh really? Is that supposed to scare me?

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60. Well you thought wrong. Because I am not pleased. I'm actually kind of PO'd.

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61. I think you know exactly why, because you were trying to scare me into buying insurance.

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62. I think you knew exactly what you were doing. And frankly I think you were being a total and utter jerk.

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63. You suck!

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64. And I'm not gonna buy your stupid insurance.

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65. How about that? The only person that actually needs insurance is you, if you show your face around here again, got it?

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66. Doubt it.

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67. What a tool. What?

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68. No. What do you mean?

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69. What?

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70. Oh man. I should be mad at you guys. But I'm not.

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71. So I looked him in the eye and I said, 'Not today Grotti, Not today. And not tomorrow, and not the next day. Or the day after that. And you can tell all your friends that if I see them, then they're already dead.' I said something like that.

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72. Erin?

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73. Coffee?

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74. Not from the kitchen. Stop and Shop. If it's not Stop and Shop, I send it back.

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75. Large. If it's a medium I send it back. If it's an extra large I send it back.

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76. Go. Any questions?

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77. Is there someone there? Who is there? I hear voices, is somebody there?

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78. Is someone there? I can't see you because I'm blind.

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79. It is?

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80. They're back? Oh! Oh! Oh, Pam!

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81. And oh, Jim...

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82. Oh, I haven't see you since my accident that I had when I fell- I fell into the pool of acid, eyes first. Blind guy.

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83. Blind-guy McSqueezy. How do I describe it? It is a character I've been workshopping whose lack of vision gets him into all sorts of trouble. The women in my improve class absolutely hate him.

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84. [behind Pam, acting out blind-guy, groaning]

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85. I have recently taken a lover.

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86. Pam's mom.

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87. Pam's mom, Helene. Remember from your wedding?

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88. About what?

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89. Oh, big time.

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90. She drives a green camry.

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91. And the seats go all the way down. All the way down.

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92. What?

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93. Okay, good, a pact. A pact. Although I may have to break it tonight when Helene and I tell Pam over dinner. You alright?

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94. Get the hell out of here, idiot.

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95. I think you're underestimating Pam. I think more than anything, she wants me to be happy.

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96. Okay, I have a good thing with the mom-

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97. She's right on my way home from work.

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98. I di- alright, I'll take surface streets, its- the last thing in the world I would want to do is upset Pam.

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99. Yeah.

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100. Can you change my dinner reservations from four people to two?

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