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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 90)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 90 of 122

  1. Look who you're talking to.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31258

  2. Well I would say that my greatest talent is being the best man, woman, or child, to have ever run this branch, ever.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31260

  3. Permission to speak on the record?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31262

  4. Jim is like Big Bird. He is tall and yellow and very nice. But would I put him in charge? No, I don't think so. Because Big Bird doesn't make the tough decisions. I... If I was gonna put someone in charge, I would put Burt in charge or I would put one of the real grown-ups in charge, like Maria or Gordon, maybe.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31264

  5. Very much, Jim is my best friend. But it's his performance report... right here. Now this was written by Toby, who we all know is extremely reliable.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31266

  6. It's not very well written, but you get the gist.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31268

  7. I can just continue to run it myself.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31270

  8. This was Jim's idea?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31272

  9. Wow. Ummm, well I'd have to talk to my mother and my guy at H and R Block.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31274

  10. I can't help but feel partially responsible.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31279

  11. Little pick me up? Oh those are the best. Little sugar rush.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31280

  12. Well we did talk about how handsome you are.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31282

  13. Oh what a week, God. We said... I know there were certain things we said...

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31284

  14. Hmmm, that's weird, that's weird... it's kinda weirding me out. Did you know that Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31286

  15. Tell you what, when you leave this office I am going to call Wallace and I am going to tell him that you should get that promotion.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31288

  16. Yes!

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31290

  17. Yes.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31292

  18. Hey David, this is Michael Scott. Michael Scott here.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31308

  19. Just wanted to talk to you about Jim Halpert. I understand that he did not receive the promotion. And I wanted to see what I could do to nudge you in the right direction.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31310

  20. Absolutely, not. Like I said before, Jim is fantastic and he deserves this job.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31312

  21. Wha... here's the thing, Jim is the best man for this job, I think you should give it to him.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31314

  22. Well, nnnn, that... that was an anomaly. That file had been falsified. Toby Flenderson is doing drugs.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31316

  23. Hey, hey Jim, it would make me feel really good right now if you would just punch me in the face. Alright, Just do it.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31334

  24. I never recommended you because I didn't want to lose you and I didn't want to lose Pam, and now I don't wanna lose the baby.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31336

  25. That's what she...

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31338

  26. Kind of in the middle of something here.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31341

  27. I, yeah... no, I'll tell him myself. Let's both.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31343

  28. Hello.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31344

  29. No, it's just us.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31346

  30. Oh, oh, well here he is right now. Come in.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31348

  31. Well just as long as it means Jim becomes a manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31351

  32. I like that, so manager and co-manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31354

  33. Well that might be a little confusing for people because they know me as manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31356

  34. Okay everybody, I have an announcement to make... whoa do you have an announcement?

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31359

  35. Everybody, David Wallace and I have talked and we have decided to promote Jim to the position of co-manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31361

  36. Of your butt, and your butt, and your butt, all of the Scranton branch butts.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31363

  37. What's happening to me? I am also being promoted to co-manager, we will be co-managers together. Jim Halpert, welcome.

    Season 6 · Episode 2 · Line 31365

  38. No way, no how. Expense reports are a day-to-day item. That is Jim's now. I am exclusively big picture, epic.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31385

  39. That is not big picture.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31392

  40. ... Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31394

  41. That is not-- okay-- that is day-to-day.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31396

  42. You're trying to trick me.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31398

  43. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31400

  44. Everyone, now would be a good time to freshen up, because I'd like everyone to meet in the conference room in five minutes. And I suggest that you bring a snack, because we may be in there for a while.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31420

  45. Yes?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31422

  46. Mmm, sure, but could I first talk to you in my office?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31424

  47. Welcome.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31428

  48. Mm-hmm.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31430

  49. Disruptive.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31432

  50. No, I don't think they are. I think the meetings are very important.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31434

  51. Let's do.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31436

  52. N-- well, to be fair, Jim... James... Jimothy... To be fair, Jimothy, the-- ah, that sounds weird. Are you okay with being called Jim?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31438

  53. Alright. Jim, to be fair, the conversation wasn't about planets...

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31440

  54. At first, we were talking about introducing a line of toilet paper. And what part of the human body does one use toilet paper upon? So you draw a line from there to the other planets, and I think by the end, we all learned a little bit about how small we are.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31442

  55. Because it's a big universe, and we're all just little, tiny specks of dust.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31444

  56. You know what eats a large amount of the day are naps. You go to sleep, it's light out, you wake up, it's dark. That's the whole day. Where did that day go? I have no idea.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31446

  57. Yes.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31448

  58. Alright. No more meetings this week.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31450

  59. I can be very suprising.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31452

  60. Mm-hmm?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31464

  61. Yeah, just focus-grouping a product expansion idea to these folks. Got one of each.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31466

  62. Stanley, you don't need to answer that.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31468

  63. What do you mean by 'these people'?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31472

  64. Oh, hey, everybody, I think that Jim has gone insane, because he thinks that my office is a conference room.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31474

  65. Listen, Jim, no offense, but when push comes to shove, what I want is more important that what you want.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31476

  66. What do you guys think?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31478

  67. No, no, no, you don't need to go anywhere. Anything that Jim has to say to me, he can say in front of these types of people.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31480

  68. That is not what Wallace told us.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31482

  69. That is not the way I heard it.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31484

  70. It is one thing, me giving you the co-manager title. It is another thing, you bossing me around.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31486

  71. No, no, no. No, we will not call David Wallace. I will call David Wallace.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31488

  72. Or David Wallace will call us on line two. Why don't we just--

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31490

  73. Hey David, this is Michael, senior co-manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31492

  74. Got it, Dave. Sounds like your classice big-picture decision.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31494

  75. Which is it more of?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31497

  76. I thought maybe we could talk after this is over.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31501

  77. No, it will not be. I am on top of it.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31504

  78. Talk to you later-- Okay, you didn't let me say good-bye. Alright, I am looking forward to this.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31507

  79. I hate the fact that we have to do this together. I think we work better separately. When I am irritated and I look at you, I don't see you anymore.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31509

  80. All I can see is how big and gross the pores on your nose are.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31511

  81. You know, there's no easy way to do this. I say we add 1.5% to their paychecks and don't say anything about it.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31515

  82. No, we can do it during the day. It doesn't have to be that dramatic, Jim.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31517

  83. Jim, don't take this the wrong way. Are you gonna take this the wrong way?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31519

  84. You use your brain too much.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31521

  85. Sometimes the smartest people don't think at all.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31523

  86. As I was saying it.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31525

  87. Con-- you look like a nerd.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31527

  88. Pro-- you get to share your pros and cons list with the other nerds.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31529

  89. Con-- you unzip your pants, and you find that there's a calculator down there.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31531

  90. That will not go over well.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31544

  91. Oh, my God! Are you gonna make another pro and con list? I'm gonna kill myself.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31546

  92. No! I could not do that, Jim. I can see it in your crusty little eyes that you are going to make everything perfect. If I can just think this through, if I could just think it exactly right, I can make this perfect, and then I can go down every avenue, and every avenue off of that avenue, and then another avenue.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31548

  93. And then another--

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31550

  94. Oh, I do?! Tell me what they are.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31552

  95. Ha! That-- I am not known for that!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31554

  96. Yes! You went over my head to Wallace!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31556

  97. Okay. Well, why don't you tell me what those are, Jim? Why don't you enliven me?

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31558

  98. Ah.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31560

  99. Okay, here's a tough decision for you. You suck! You suck! Is that clear enough for you?!

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31562

  100. Okay, Skippy, here we go. Why don't you run yourself out there and tell them? You call it.

    Season 6 · Episode 3 · Line 31564