Michael Scott Quotes from The Office | Page 89

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30877

Mmm... okay. Uhh... hmm... okay. Never mind. Carry on.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30879

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30880

I am very happy right now. Thrilled perhaps, to be part of the office, to be part of the conversation. When you have somebody's attenton, and their eyes are lighting up because they are very interested in what you have to say, that is a great feeling, and I experienced that firsthand today. It is wonderful to be the center of attention.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30882

That and that are the same letter.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30883

No... no. He's holding a pencil. He could be doing a crossword puzzle with that pencil. What's that letter, right there? Same letter here and here. What haven't you guessed?

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30885

T! Yes! Yes! That is a 'T', and there's another one right there. Just sound that out. You're almost there.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30887

Hey, Stanley! Where you goin', big guy? Up to no good?

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30888

No, no, no, no. I just had a quick question for you. I'm casting a movie and I'm looking for a woman who can dance, beautiful woman. Do you know anybody?

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30890

Pays five million dollars. Nudity required.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30892

Did you hear Stanley's having an affair?

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30894

Oh, okay, I get it. You feel out of the loop, and you feel sorry for yourself, and it's really sad because everybody thinks you're a loser...

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30896

[stares at Jim silently, then walks away]

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30898

Stop. Hold up, hold up, hold up! No, no, no. Time to stop being polite and get real. Stanley, are you having an affair?

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30899

So It's not true. Okay, well... ahhh, those interns, they told me they saw you at a club, and they all said it was you, it was clearly just... racial profiling gossip.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30901

So stupid!

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30903

I know, I know.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30905

Oh, I bet.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30907

Wait, hold, hold, hold... so it IS true?

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30909

Oh my God! Wait a second, do people often say they're going on sales calls and then go someplace else? 'Cause that's not cool.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30911

I'm not saying... a damn thing.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30913

You can count on me.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30915

Oh, that smells good.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30917

Did you hear about Angela? That's pretty weird.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30919

Well, the fact that she is apparently dating an 81-year-old billionaire. Owns a Quizno's on the turnpike.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30921

Uh huh. Alright?

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30923

How do you un-tell something? You can't. You can't put words back in your mouth. What you can do is spread false gossip so that people think that everything that's been said is untrue, including 'Stanley is having an affair.' It's like the end of Spartacus. I've seen that movie half a dozen times, and I still don't know who the real Spartacus is, and that is what makes that movie a classic whodunit.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30924

Yeah.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30926

Anorexia. She's an anorexatic.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30928

Nothing can be done, we just have to tell everybody and hope for the best I guess.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30930

I'm worried about Erin, because she's not a very good worker. I don't know how long she's gonna last here.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30931

Yeah. So... and Andy is gay.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30933

Mm hmm.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30935

Did you hear Pam is pregnant?

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30936

Yeah!

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30938

Guys, guys... you can't believe everything you hear. Like Stanley, having an affair? That is crazy! It's just... there's no stalking it. It's a weird day for false facts. Let it go.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30969

Okay everybody, big day. Last day for our interns, a lot of other stuff... who knows what to believe? Dwight, the honors.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 30970

Yeah, yeah... you know what? Let's discredit these rumors.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31019

That's not important, Jim, I just think we shouldn't listen to any of that crap.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31021

[quietly leaves room]

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31027

Nowhere.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31030

[reluctantly exits elevator]

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31039

Okay, I made it all up.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31040

Yes.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31043

But guys, I'm a victim here too, okay? People here have been saying that I'm a J. Crew model.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31045

Jim? No, no. I spread the rumor that somebody here was a J. Crew model, and I was referring to myself.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31047

Because a lot of people think that models, even though they're very attractive, are somewhat vapid. It's set our industry back quite a bit.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31049

Okay, okay... here's the thing. There was one true rumor out there today. I didn't want everybody to know what it was. So all of you are off the hook, except for this one person.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31052

The one true rumor, and this is going to ruin this person's life, is that...

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31056

Alright, alright... you know, this is not the truth, and you can't fall on the sword this way. The real thing is that Stanley Hudson had an affair.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31070

Yes. Jim...

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31072

Look at that! That is the inside of your vagina!

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31080

How long have you known about the pregnancy?

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31082

A week? A month? A year?

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31084

Did you pee on a stick?

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31086

You should've told me.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31088

[phone rings, hits speaker button]

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31090

[gasps]

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31092

Oh, oh... yeah, a long time ago, just to make sure she was out of town. Oh... oh God.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31094

No, I have to take it, or it'll seem suspicious.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31096

No, no, I can do this.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31098

Yes, I can. I am going to tell her that I need to redecorate my condo, and I need her help. We will haggle about money, and then I will back down, and then I won't talk to her until this whole Cynthia thing has blown over.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31100

Hey, what up, Cynthia?

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31103

Hold on a second, Cynthia.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31105

Well, it turns out that Teri was already suspicious, because she had caught Stanley and Cynthia a few months ago. So Stanley promised that he would stop, and he did, end of story. Well, not exactly. Uhh, Cynthia kept calling him, she would not stop calling him, and she was in love with him. Oh, and get this. Cynthia, also married. So... you can't stop love, I guess and quite frankly, I don't think you should ever try.

Season 6 · Episode 1 · Quote 31107

Yeah?

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31116

Yes, Oscar come on in. Close the door if you would. Thank you, thanks so much for talking to me.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31118

I'm going in for a procedure today.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31120

Yeah, it's routine. I'm just a little bit scared.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31122

It is a colonoscopy.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31124

In your experience, what should I be expecting in terms of sensation or emotions? Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me or for Dr. Shaundry?

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31126

My main concern, should I have a safe word?

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31128

Abso... you know what? I'll do you one better, Sunday, Sunday night.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31131

Ho, Hol, hold on big guy, I'm gonna put it in the mail Sunday night and you'll get it Weds.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31133

Oh right, this thing. I remember now. What's this about?

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31137

It's okay with me but he's gonna want me in there.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31139

Really?

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31141

Alright, do you mind if it sit this out? I have so much work to do, I feel like I'm gonna blow my brains out.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31143

Am I worried that Jim and David are having a meeting without me? No, because we are the Three Amigos. And once in awhile one of the Amigos will go off... to the bathroom... while the other two have a secret meeting.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31145

Hey let me escort you to your desk.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31146

You and Jim are close, huh?

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31148

Hey, what do you think he and David are talking about? What do you...

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31150

Well, you said good luck to Jim as he walked in.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31152

If you are lying to me right now Pam, your baby is gonna come out a liar. That's how it works. They inherit things through the breast milk.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31154

I just don't want you to lie to me. I don't want you to ever lie to me. Have I ever lied to you?

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31156

I just don't want you to.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31158

Uh huh, well if he doesn't like it you can tell that SOB that he is fired. Sorry, I'm going into a meeting right now. I will... I love you too. Bye.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31181

Sorry about that. What'd I miss?

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31183

Do not mind! Yes, I do! No, I don't. Yes, I do! No, I don't mind. Catch you guys on the flippity flop. Oh this... call waiting. Yeah, uh huh, well you tell the Mayor he just lost six votes.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31185

Yeah.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31187

Nope.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31189

No, I think they're talking about me.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31191

What is Jim telling him? That I can't handle this job? That 's bull crap. That is bull crap. Although, it has been chaotic lately. Corporate shut down the Buffalo branch which left us to absorb all of their clients. I will tell you there has been work everyday. Had to come in on a Saturday. To retrieve... I left my cell phone here.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31193

How are your sales doin'?

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31202

Shhh, I'm just trying to figure out what's going on in that room, okay?

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31206

Wallace had to show up on the one four month period that I'm completely overwhelmed.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31207

You know when they say it's so crazy it just might work? Well, I don't believe that. I say go for the air-tight plan and that is why I am having Andy wheel me into the conference room inside a makeshift cheese cart. It is just elegant.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31208

Be my eyes.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31209

Hey, hey, you must have walked right past me. How you doin'?

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31222

Yes, definitely.

Season 6 · Episode 2 · Quote 31224

Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 89)