Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 88)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 88 of 122

1. It's better than I imagined it!

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2. Welcome, welcome! Cafe Disco. I am Michael Scott.

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3. Angela. Angela. Angela. May I interest you in a triple espresso or perhaps a dance?

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4. Oh. Alright. There you go.

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5. No. No. No. Here is the deal - one signature for every song.

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6. I know. I know, Angela. A lot of people doubted Cafe Disco at first but it is a magical place. You have to give it a chance. If these walls could tale they would say, ' This is a magical place! You are safe here. We have talking walls. We're not going to eat you.' No.

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7. Hey, thank you, Creed. you're really getting this place.

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8. Hey! Hey! Angela, no! No cleaning up!

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9. No... cleaning... up.

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10. Hey! Hey! Jim and Pam! Can you believe this? It's really happening.

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11. You guys are the best for coming. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. I understand.

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12. Really?

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13. Oh, no. Not me. Not me. Get out of here. Cafe Disco! Hey! Come on, man. It's not even to 'Y'.

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14. Would you like to dance?

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15. My grandpa was the funnest guy I ever knew. He would sing. He would dance. He would....fall down. But then...he started going to these meetings and everything changed. He...stopped going out at night. He got a job. The fun just dried up. It was really sad. I don't want that to happen to you guys. I'm not gonna let it happen.

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16. [mumbles in his sleep as Pam and Jim change the clocks in his office]

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17. Uh oh. What's so funny?

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18. Oh yay! Geography joke. Oh! Wow! Okay. Alright, let's all go home. Come on. See you all tamale.

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19. See you later!

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20. We're just friends. Hey, hey, wait a second. Who let you in here, is what I want to know.

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21. Mmhmm. Yeah, that's right.

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22. All right. Mmhmm. Hey.

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23. A little bit. Uh, I meet a lot of people.

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24. Hey. Arrggh. So would you guys like some lemonade? Or one of you? Or both of you? Either or. The combinations are endless.

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25. Okay.

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26. You can go to hell. I'm kidding. Um, sure, I will get you the best iced tea in the world.

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27. I lied to Kevin. Holly and I can never be just friends. I wrote down a list of bullet points why Holly and I should be together, and I'm going to find the perfect moment today and I am going to tell her. Number one: 'Holly, you and I are soup snakes.' The-and the reason is... because... in terms of the soup, we like to- that doesn't make any sense. We're soul mates. Holly and I are soul mates.

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28. What is up with you two, Holly?

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29. Cool. For who?

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30. Wow... I'm designing a chair. It's part of your pants. You sit down, you're supported.

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31. All right, fatty. I will do it. You know what, we should actually rehearse.

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32. You bet your fat ass we are.

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33. Well, in his infinite wisdom, David Wallace has authorized us to put on a little presentation about the history of Dunder Mifflin.

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34. That's right.

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35. Newspapers for sale!

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36. I brought some snacky snacks, in case we get hungry.

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37. What?

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38. Um, no, I just thought we'd wing it. That cool?

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39. We could do a movie... sort of thing.

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40. Oh!

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41. Could we get a Delorean?

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42. Oh! Dun-der. Dun-der...

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43. Dun-der. Dun-der. Dun-der. Dun-der. Blooo!!

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44. No. No.

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45. We're circling it.

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46. Uh, it's a sketch now.

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47. And now, presenting...

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48. [imitates Who Wants To Be a Millionaire theme music as both sit in folding chairs]

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49. Yes, I am.

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50. Ohh, I'm thinking... I'm going to say... B, tour of Dartmouth College.

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51. Ahhhh!! Ohhh!! Ahhh!! I was there! Ahhh!! I was a tour guide at Dartmouth College!! Noooo!!!

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52. Yeah, I'm definitely getting in. I'm a shoo-in.

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53. I'm Robert Mifflin. Ah, okay.

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54. Two hundred and fifty dollars is more money than I've ever seen in my life. I will say, C, a gun. He shot himself in the head.

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55. Yes!

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56. I will say B, Buffalo! Final answer!

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57. David Wallace told me!!

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58. I guess not.

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59. Well... I didn't know they didn't know.

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60. Thank you.

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61. Well, he's just thinking about his own gifts.

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62. Probably shouldn't have mentioned Buffalo.

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63. Should've had hindsight.

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64. I think it went well. I think it was good.

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65. No, it was a tough audience.

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66. Believe me, I have seen a lot of tough audiences in my time, and that was one of them.

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67. Me too. We have a lot of good material for next year's sketch.

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68. Well you guys should hit the road before... I close down another branch.

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69. Good to see you. AJ.

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70. I didn't find a perfect moment, because I think that today was just about just having today. And I think that we are one of those couples with a long story, when people ask how they found each other. I will see her every now and then, and... Maybe one year she'll be with somebody, and the next year, I'll be with somebody, and it's gonna take a long time... And then it's perfect. I'm in no rush.

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71. Parkour!

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72. Okay, we all go together or we go one at a time.

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73. Parkoooooour!

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74. Who's getting married?

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75. If somebody doesn't tell me, I'm gonna start screaming.

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76. Oh! Hey, I hired them! Matchmaker! This place is like Spaniard Fly.

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77. Did everybody know about this but me?

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78. Okay... okay.

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79. You'll never guess what I know.

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80. Eric likes Megan.

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81. How do you know this?

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82. I hate, hate, hate being left out. Whether it's not being picked for a team, or being picked for a team and showing up and realizing the team doesn't exist. Or that the sport doesn't exist? I should've known. Poopball?

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83. Man, I know how you feel. Third wheel. I have been the third wheel so many times in my life. My mom told me something once that made me feel a lot better. She said 'The third wheel is what makes it a tricycle.'

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84. I'm talking about your group date with Megan and Eric.

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85. Yes

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86. Well...

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87. Stanley was on your group date?

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88. Does anybody else know about this?

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89. [laughs, looks to camera excitedly]

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90. There he goes. There he goes.

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91. So, what is the scuttlebutt? Anybody hear anything?

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92. Nothing? Well I got a little somethin' somethin'. I don't know if I should say...

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93. Stanly is having a midlife crisis.

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94. Well apparently, he and his wife were out dancing at a club for young people.

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95. Who?

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96. [starts to speak, says nothing, walks away]

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97. You stupid son of a bitch. You set me up.

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98. Stanley's wife is out of town.

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99. Oh, was he? Well who, his sister?

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100. I don't get it!

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