Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.
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Right, right. There is no way in hell that I am going to say that we're broke.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29789
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Oh, I'm really worried that I'm going to say it.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29790
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Ah...
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29792
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I'm good, I'm good.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29795
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It is. I'm good.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29797
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Hello.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29798
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Michael Scott Paper Company to see Mr. David Wallace. I believe we're expected. Well, well, well. How the turntables...
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29800
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And we are prepared to reject that offer.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29802
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Never accept their first offer. What is your second offer?
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29804
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Are you kidding me? That is insultingly low. I don't even want to hear what your first offer was.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29806
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I'll see your situation and I'll raise you a situation. Your company is losing clients left and right. You have a stockholder meeting coming up and you're going to have to explain to them why your most profitable branch is bleeding. So they may be looking for a little change in the CFO. So I don't think I need to wait out Dunder Mifflin. I think I just have to wait out you.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29810
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We'll have to talk--
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29812
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Just amongst ourselves.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29816
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Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29818
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We are so rich.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29820
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No.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29845
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It's a lot of money, okay. But we need money coming in every week. We need jobs. Wouldn't you rather have a fishing pole than a fish?
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29852
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Agreed?
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29855
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Shut up, shut up. Hello?
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29858
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I want my old job back. I want my old parking space back. I want a Sebring.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29859
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And I want Charles gone.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29861
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I need him gone.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29864
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Okay, then I want Pam back.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29866
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Sales.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29868
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Yes, she is. At the Michael Scott Paper Company in it's heyday.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29871
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And Ryan.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29874
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You know, David. I don't care if Ryan murdered his entire family he is like a son to me.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29876
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And dental this time.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29878
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These are our demands.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29880
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Our company is worth nothing. That's the difference between you and I. Business isn't about money to me, David. If tomorrow my company goes under, I will just start another paper company. And then another and another and another. I have no shortage of company names.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29882
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That's one of 'em! Yes. These are our demands. This is what we want. Our balls are in your court.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29884
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Can we have the room please?
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29886
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Yes! Can you believe it? That's what I'm talking about!
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29890
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There are certain defining moments in a person's life. The day he is born. The day he grows hair. The day he starts a business. And the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin. What have I learned from all of this? It is far too early to tell. I just know that I am flying high and I don't even want to think about it. I just want to enjoy it.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29891
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No, no. You're done.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Line 29893
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Someone is returning! He started his own company, and now he's back. Who could it be? I'll give you a hint. He is a man. A man you have missed with all your heart. A man who has ruined all other men for you. Who is it?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29895
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It's Michael Scott. Hold it up. Conference room, five minutes.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29898
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Well, I guess the first order of business is to welcome back me, and Pam and Ryan. And how about casual Friday again, huh? Reinstituting casual Friday? You all look great. What I want to do right now is try something a little different. I'm going to throw it out there, starting with this meeting. I want you guys to run it. I want you to say whatever you want, take it away. Your meeting.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29899
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If there is something that you would like to say as a group, then by all means, you may say it to me right now.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29901
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Yes.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29903
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Take it up with Toby. What I want you to do, is I want you to look inward. And I want you to reflect. And I want you to say something different.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29905
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When I needed salespeople for my new paper company, everyone here turned their back on me. Am I going to ask them to beg for forgiveness? No. Am I going to ask for big, crying apology? No. Am I going to ask them to slit their wrists for me? No. I just want a tiny, microscopic version of that.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29907
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Oscar, what were you going to say?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29908
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All right.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29910
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Not important. Okay, alright. Yes. Yes, you have a job. Frankly, you have a job because Ryan and Pam are starting with us as salesmen.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29912
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It's going to work very smoothly, because Pam and Ryan are bringing over a ton of clients from Michael Scott Paper Company and--
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29915
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No, you lost those clients.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29918
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Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29920
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Okay, Dwight. Let me explain something to you. I set the rules and you follow them. Blindly. Okay? And if you have a problem with that then you can talk to our complaint department. It's a trash can.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29922
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There you are, my friend.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29936
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Pamela.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29938
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Yep.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29940
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I know.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29984
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I do? Well--Where is that bowl?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29986
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Michael Scott Paper Company only.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29988
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Okay, well---
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29990
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I will--no, no. I'll talk to them when they all get back from the bathroom.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29992
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Against who?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29994
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The old Michael Scott might have taken this, but not the new Michael Scott. They are in for a bitter surprise. I am not to be truffled with.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29998
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Six weeks ago, none of these people wanted to come with me. You two were the only ones with the stones to follow.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 29999
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That was us, right there.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30001
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Mm-hmm.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30004
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Yeah, the Commish.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30006
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Yeah, yeah. The Shield.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30008
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Hey gang. Where you been?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30014
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Where'd you eat?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30016
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What'd you have, Stanley?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30018
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So since you guys already ate, you won't be eating the stuff you brought with you for lunch, will you? Oh, wow, Stanley. Is that egg salad? Andy brought some salmon.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30021
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Dwight, is that a meat sandwich? You guys hungry?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30023
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I'm going to o have some of this meat sandwich.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30025
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Mom. What kind of sauce is on your salmon?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30027
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Mmm. Thanks for going out, guys.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30029
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Hey, hey guys. You know what I want you to do? Shake hands, get over it. That was not a shake, Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30070
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Who quits?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30072
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You guys gotta be kidding.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30076
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I love it. I love this idea, and I fully support you. As a matter of fact, I'm going to give you some seed money. There you go. There's some seed money for you. And you can take it, no hard feelings. But if you stay, I want an apology, and I want a big one.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30078
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Yes I do.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30080
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It's frontward's.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30082
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No matter how I look at this, I am in the wrong. And I have looked at this thing, like a hundred different ways. From my point of view, from their point of view...98 others. And the bottom line, I am in the wrong. I'm the bad guy.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30087
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I need you to arrange a meeting between me and the sales staff without Ryan and Pam knowing.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30088
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Whatever you guys did earlier.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30090
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Just do it, okay?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30092
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Get 'em there. Get 'em there.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30094
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Are you kidding me?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30096
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Okay, okay, okay.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30098
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So from the bottom of my heart to the top of my heart, I am sorry.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30102
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If we could just focus and go down the line, and everyone would say, 'apology accepted', I think we would all feel better. And then we can break out my gift to you--complimentary white chocolate bark.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30104
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They wouldn't make it unless people liked it.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30106
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Okay. If I give you your clients back there won't be enough clients for Ryan and Pam, and I promised both of them they were gonna be salespeople.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30108
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Fine, have your clients. I can see that's what you wanted all along. However, I rescind my apology.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30110
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You are not reacting at all as I had hoped.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30112
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Jim. Can I talk to you for a minute?
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30126
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And Bingo was his name. Let's go.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30128
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I need your help. This whole Pam/Ryan debate is screwing with my head.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30130
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You're close with Pam too.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30132
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Pro for Ryan, he went to business school, he's my number one choice.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30134
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I like his hair.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30136
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Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30138
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That sounds pretty biased.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30140
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Okay. Pam, pros.
Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30142