Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 77)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 77 of 122

1. Ok. You know, our sales are fine. We're doing fine. They're doing fine.

   Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26611

2. Why don't we just, live and let live?

   Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26613

3. Live and let live.

   Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26615

4. It's from James Bond.

   Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26617

5. I'm not going to make this call.

   Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26619

6. My heart says...

   Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26621

7. That is true.

   Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26623

8. That is true. We have gone down the wrong path many many times.

   Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26625

9. Jan... Ryan.

   Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26627

10. You're right.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26631

11. You are right. I will call David and give him the customer list and I will give him all my info.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26633

12. Just something I have to do first.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26635

13. Somewhere safe, where it can't hurt anyone

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26637

14. Oh shoot!

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26639

15. Those people will be ruined.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26642

16. Give it, give it. We can't do this to those people.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26644

17. Im not a shark.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26646

18. Mpfh.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26651

19. Thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26653

20. Okay, bye bye.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26655

21. I guess this is what they call a bittersweet moment. It is bitter because I slightly destroyed a wonderful little family. But sweet because David Wallace thought I did a good job. That's what I hate bittersweet chocolate. I don't even... what's the point of that? Why not just sweet? Who are you helping?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26657

22. Oh, hey what is this?

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26658

23. Oh, she is hot.

    Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26660

24. Oh my God! Okay, it happening. Everybody stay calm.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26673

25. Stay calm!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26675

26. Everyone, now calm down!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26677

27. What does warm mean?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26679

28. Don't run.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26684

29. Get out of the way! Go, go, go!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26692

30. Okay, we're trapped. Everyone for himself.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26696

31. Help!! Help!!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26723

32. No, no, no! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley! I'm gonna give him mouth to mouth.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26728

33. He's going to swallow is tongue.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26730

34. Open your mouth. Come on. Don't swallow it.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26732

35. Leave me al--

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26734

36. Saving him!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26736

37. Electricity.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26739

38. Hed. Hedded

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26745

39. Take hedded of.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26747

40. Heed. Heed.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26749

41. Take heed of.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26751

42. Take heed of.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26753

43. Okay. This city. Dwight. We are not mad, we are just disappointed.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26756

44. Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26758

45. I am not a mind reader, David.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26760

46. Can you shove down? Instead... shove down, please. Instead, what I think we should do is strip of your title as safety officer.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26762

47. And we should take a part of his pay and donate it the charity of your choice. Something that Dwight doesn't like.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26764

48. Do you?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26767

49. You talking to me?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26769

50. What?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26771

51. No, Dwight. I am worried. A man's life is in my hands.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26773

52. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26775

53. That's not gonna happen. I'm taking over as safety man.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26777

54. Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26779

55. I'm a smart guy. I'll figure it out.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26781

56. No, I will.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26783

57. Nobody should have to go to work thinking, 'Oh, this is the place that I might die today.' That's what a hospital is for. An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to... An office is a place where dreams come true.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26784

58. Shhh! Don't excite him. Don't make him excitable. Welcome back, Stanley.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26785

59. Andy.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26795

60. No, no, no. No debate. You are going to sit in that wheelchair until you are back on your feet.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26798

61. Okay, you know what? That could be a little confusing, because in sales A-B-C means 'always be closing.'

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26801

62. Shut it. Shut it.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26803

63. We found ourselves on the less prepared side of things when Stanley had his... when his heart went berserk. And I knew exactly what to do, but in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do. So I thought we should have CPR training class and of course you can't get the practice dummy unless the instructor comes along with it. Red Cross, you know, racket.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26804

64. You know who I really think should go? Stanley.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26810

65. Come on.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26813

66. No rest for the sick. We are not always going to be there to coddle your heart back when it disappears to be working. What are you gonna do if you're by yourself and your heart stops?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26815

67. And you're okay with that?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26817

68. Uh-uh. No, no, no. Come on. Get up. Let's do this.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26819

69. Come on Stanley. You're losing you. You're losing you. Do it!

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26821

70. This is you we're talking about.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26823

71. Okay, okay. I'll show them. Here we go. Stanley. All right.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26825

72. No, Rose. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26827

73. Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26829

74. How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Kevin. You don't do anything.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26831

75. okay, that's uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26833

76. I will divide and then count to it.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26835

77. Yes, yes I do. I love that song. First I was afraid, I was petrified.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26838

78. Okay, I got it.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26840

79. Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26842

80. Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah...

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26843

81. He is an organ donor.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26856

82. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26858

83. Hey, Stanley.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26865

84. Are you okay?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26867

85. Five thousand three hundred dollars for a dummy?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26876

86. Okay, look. David, this is why we have training. We start with the dummy, and we learn from our mistakes. And now Dwight knows not to cut the face off of a real person.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26878

87. Hi, everyone. Corporate has given Dwight two strikes. They are very, very upset with him. So, as a disciplinary measure he is going to have to issue a formal apology. Dwight, have you prepared your statement of regret?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26899

88. Let's hear it.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26901

89. Ohmmm... Ohmmm... Everybody sit on the floor Indian style like me. Ohmmm my God if you're wearing a dress please keep your knees together nobody wants to see that ohmmm... ohmmm...

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26930

90. My goal is to make this office as peaceful a place for Stanley Hudson as I can. I think sounds have a lot to do with that. Here are some downloaded peaceful sounds. That one makes me think... of death. It's kinda nice...

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26931

91. It is a beautiful, sunny day as we walk through the meadow that is very spiritual and relaxing and there are flowers and it is sunny and beautiful. Now, up ahead, a castle, in a distance.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26932

92. And you walk up toward the castle, and inside the castle are 4 men, and each of them, none of them have shoes, and they give you a funny cigarette, and you feel even more relaxed, and then you want ice cream. You want a big bowl of ice cream. What kind do you want? Shout it out.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26935

93. Too expensive.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26937

94. Racism is dead Stanley, you can have any kind of ice cream you want. What do you want? What is that? People! Please I told you to get rid of the cell phones.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26939

95. Oh, ok. What is that, like, a video game?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26941

96. You have stress?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26943

97. During our relaxation exercise?

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26945

98. No no, I'll help you. I'll help you up. Here we go.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26947

99. Let me getcha.

    Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26949

100. Ok, alright.

     Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26951