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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 70)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 70 of 122

  1. Probably get soup or something light.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23815

  2. No. No. Reservations are at 8:00, so we've got like an hour and 45 minutes. I'm a crazy eight, I'm crazy.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23828

  3. Do you need 'em?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23831

  4. All right.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23833

  5. Thank vous. What? Oh!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23835

  6. Not if we turn these dials all the way down. Now they can't hear us at all.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23837

  7. We're totally alone.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23839

  8. Oh, my God, what happened?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23845

  9. Yeah. Oh... oh!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23849

  10. No, did you?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23851

  11. Oh, no, my God.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23853

  12. Oh my God!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23855

  13. So much for sex without consequences.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23856

  14. We're gonna make everything all right. Alright? Conference room, 15 minutes. Half an hour. Alright?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23882

  15. To recoup their losses, I am planning a little charity auction, where people from all over Scranton can come and bid on our goods and services. I'm calling it crime-aid. It's like farm aid, but instead of farms fighting against AIDS, it is us fighting against our own poverty.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23883

  16. Thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23885

  17. Okay, I'm gonna have to stop you right there. Was this a sorority that you didn't get into a real sorority so you had to kind of form your own?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23887

  18. Okay. Okay! Well, come on, let's have an auction. Let's do this. We'll auction off people like in the olden days.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23889

  19. I don't know, it could be any number of people. It could be a pedestrian. It could be an old person. It could be a lookie-loo. Or, it could be... a Bruce Springsteen fan - what? Who said that? I did. Why did I say that? Oh, I think you know why I said that. I think it is very apparent. I think it goes without saying. Bear with me. There's a point there. But what is the point? I don't understand what he's saying. It seems a little shady. It seems a little foggy. Well, it's not a little foggy there's actually something going on here-

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23891

  20. Do I?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23893

  21. Yeah, I think that's pretty boss.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23895

  22. Whoa!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23897

  23. Twice. ... Right?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23899

  24. Mm-hmm.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23901

  25. Pump it up! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Pump up the volume. Thank you very much, everybody. Thank you, Mr. Springsteen. And welcome to C.R.I.M.E.-A.I.D. Crime Reduces Innocence Makes Everyone Angry I Declare. It is not known how many office robberies occur every second because there is no Wikipedia entry for office robbery statistics. However, tonight, its victims, are standing together and standing strong in the form of song, cooking lessons, and hugs. Really Phyllis? You're auctioning a hug? Okay, so with no further ado, lights, camera, auction! Take it away Bruce!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23907

  26. Okay, this is the moment that you have all been waiting for. Our first item up for bids tonight is something that I consider to be very boss indeed. It is a Yoga lesson from Holly Flax! Yoga! And I would like to start the bidding off at 300 dollars. 300 dollars do I hear 300 dollars? 300 dollars. Hey, batter batter batter, hey batter, swing batter, 300 dollars, 300 dollars, 300 dollars. Anybody, 300 dollars. 400 dollars. Who wants for 400-Do I see somebody in the back? Is there somebody in the back? Do I see somebody in the back? 400-450 Sold! For 300 dollars to me! What the hell is that?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23909

  27. It squeaks when you bang it, that's what she said. Let's hear it for me! Right? A bargain at any price!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23911

  28. Oh, yes, great. Very good, Um, so, Darryl, and the boys in the hood in the warehouse, have graciously donated to, uh, go out for a beer with them right now. You know what, I'm actually going to bid on this. I'm going to start the bidding, because this is something that I have dreamt of-

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23913

  29. Okay. Okay, sold! Have fun, you guys. Well, this next item is sure to spring steam from your ears if you don't win it. It just says 'Creed.'

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23917

  30. Let's hear an opening bid, everybody. Who's first? Kevin do your taxes. He's the tax man. Kevin the tax man.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23936

  31. Federal and State.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23938

  32. Okay, alright. Hey, you know what? I would appreciate it if people would stop storming off the stage.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23940

  33. We are getting there folks. Slow and steady. Well, well, have we been blessed today. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. David Wallace! Whoo!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23942

  34. Hey!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23944

  35. 100 dollars, great.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23947

  36. Keep it going. Hey batter batter batter.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23952

  37. 160

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23954

  38. Uh, just a few more items.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23982

  39. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right! Here we go. All right, big ticket item. All right, in my pocket, I have... two tickets... to Mr. Bruce Springsteen, front... Oh, where are those? Has anyone seen an envelope with Bruce Springsteen front row tickets and backstage passes? Anybody seen something like-lying around?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23984

  40. No. I think they were stolen. I think they were stolen and they're gone forever. So... oh, that was the last good item. So, good job, everybody.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23986

  41. Yeah, well, Phyllis, nobody... really wants a hug, so.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23988

  42. She's your wife, you idiot.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23990

  43. Uh, what the hell is happening?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23993

  44. 300, we have 300. 300 going once. 300 going twice.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23999

  45. 300 and one penny, 300 and one penny.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24001

  46. 325, 325.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24003

  47. 350

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24005

  48. 350 and one penny.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24007

  49. 400, 400 hey batter batter.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24009

  50. 400 and one penny.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24011

  51. 500

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24013

  52. 500 and one penny. One million dollar!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24015

  53. 700

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24017

  54. Humuna-humuna-humuna-humuna-humuna-

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24019

  55. 1,000 going once, 1,000 going twice. Sold for 1,000 dollar. Nicely done.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24022

  56. Hey, that looks good. Listen, about the tickets. It's sort of a gray-kind of a gray area in terms of...whether or not I had them-

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24024

  57. Oh, I guess that job that I got you is working out for you well, then.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24028

  58. Hey, if there's anything else I can do, just let me know.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24030

  59. You know what? I would love a slice of real New York style pizza.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24032

  60. Even as pie.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24034

  61. Okay... don't ask me how I got it, let's just say that I have... connections. Mmm. Mmm. I'm the Godfather. I'm gonna eat this whole pizza. And then I'm gonna kill you. some cheese. You gotta fold it up. That's the way you eat pizza.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24035

  62. I am going to run three possible date ideas by you and I want you to tell me which one gets your blood percolating.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24040

  63. I have two sure things, one wildcard.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24042

  64. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24044

  65. The wildcard is dinner at a nice restaurant.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24046

  66. Exactly. Here, here are my sure things. I blindfold her. I take her to the Houdini Museum. She chains me up...

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24048

  67. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24050

  68. All right.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24052

  69. Number two, we go to the mall...

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24054

  70. We go to the bed store, I let her choose whatever bed she wants...

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24056

  71. And we have sex on it.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24058

  72. Really? I don't know. It's a big third date, Jim.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24060

  73. What do I do?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24062

  74. Well, I thought as the man that I should make the decision.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24064

  75. Times have changed, Jim.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 24066

  76. Okay, I think we are set. We have puzzles, string for Cat's Cradles. Burned this last night. A little road trip CD. Puppets.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24095

  77. When Corporate found out that we were dating, they decided they were going to transfer Holly back to her old branch, in Nashua, New Hampshire.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24097

  78. Road trip! Right?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24099

  79. Oh, copy that breaker. Those Duke boys are at it again.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24101

  80. We're not.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24103

  81. We're not doing anything.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24105

  82. All right everybody. I'm out of here. Jim, you're in charge.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24107

  83. Ah, you are quite the gentleman.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24109

  84. You can let people go a couple of minutes early if you want.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24110

  85. Cool!

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24126

  86. We're gonna switch back and forth, the driving. Sometimes we'll just meet in the middle. It'll be fun. Wait a sec. Oh I love this song.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24128

  87. Ah! Ah! Ahhhh! Hey. Whew. Ow. I was having a nightmare.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24157

  88. Was I? Really? Was I saying anything interesting?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24159

  89. All right. What's the scoop, how far?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24161

  90. Halfway! Okay, You know what I want to do, I want to pull over and find little bed and breakfast for when we meet in the middle. Emphasis on the bed. And the breakfast.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24164

  91. Yeah. I don't know I just- I imagined a hotel right here. Pool, over here. Really good breakfast place. With really good bacon.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24175

  92. Here we go, fourth time's a charm. 'Life's like a road where you just... one day here, and the next day back...Sometimes you deal with it, today you don't, sometimes you do, what you want... there's a world out there.... Hey. Are you crying?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24176

  93. Allergies?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24178

  94. Did Darryl touch you?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24180

  95. What's the matter?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24183

  96. Sure it is.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24185

  97. Oh no no no.. It's gonna work, it'll be fine.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24187

  98. Listen to me. I like you so much.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24189

  99. And I've dated four women in the last--

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24191

  100. Not last - no. In like the last ten years.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Quote 24193