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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 70)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 70 of 122

  1. Probably get soup or something light.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23815

  2. No. No. Reservations are at 8:00, so we've got like an hour and 45 minutes. I'm a crazy eight, I'm crazy.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23828

  3. Do you need 'em?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23831

  4. All right.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23833

  5. Thank vous. What? Oh!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23835

  6. Not if we turn these dials all the way down. Now they can't hear us at all.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23837

  7. We're totally alone.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23839

  8. Oh, my God, what happened?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23845

  9. Yeah. Oh... oh!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23849

  10. No, did you?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23851

  11. Oh, no, my God.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23853

  12. Oh my God!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23855

  13. So much for sex without consequences.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23856

  14. We're gonna make everything all right. Alright? Conference room, 15 minutes. Half an hour. Alright?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23882

  15. To recoup their losses, I am planning a little charity auction, where people from all over Scranton can come and bid on our goods and services. I'm calling it crime-aid. It's like farm aid, but instead of farms fighting against AIDS, it is us fighting against our own poverty.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23883

  16. Thank you.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23885

  17. Okay, I'm gonna have to stop you right there. Was this a sorority that you didn't get into a real sorority so you had to kind of form your own?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23887

  18. Okay. Okay! Well, come on, let's have an auction. Let's do this. We'll auction off people like in the olden days.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23889

  19. I don't know, it could be any number of people. It could be a pedestrian. It could be an old person. It could be a lookie-loo. Or, it could be... a Bruce Springsteen fan - what? Who said that? I did. Why did I say that? Oh, I think you know why I said that. I think it is very apparent. I think it goes without saying. Bear with me. There's a point there. But what is the point? I don't understand what he's saying. It seems a little shady. It seems a little foggy. Well, it's not a little foggy there's actually something going on here-

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23891

  20. Do I?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23893

  21. Yeah, I think that's pretty boss.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23895

  22. Whoa!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23897

  23. Twice. ... Right?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23899

  24. Mm-hmm.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23901

  25. Pump it up! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Pump up the volume. Thank you very much, everybody. Thank you, Mr. Springsteen. And welcome to C.R.I.M.E.-A.I.D. Crime Reduces Innocence Makes Everyone Angry I Declare. It is not known how many office robberies occur every second because there is no Wikipedia entry for office robbery statistics. However, tonight, its victims, are standing together and standing strong in the form of song, cooking lessons, and hugs. Really Phyllis? You're auctioning a hug? Okay, so with no further ado, lights, camera, auction! Take it away Bruce!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23907

  26. Okay, this is the moment that you have all been waiting for. Our first item up for bids tonight is something that I consider to be very boss indeed. It is a Yoga lesson from Holly Flax! Yoga! And I would like to start the bidding off at 300 dollars. 300 dollars do I hear 300 dollars? 300 dollars. Hey, batter batter batter, hey batter, swing batter, 300 dollars, 300 dollars, 300 dollars. Anybody, 300 dollars. 400 dollars. Who wants for 400-Do I see somebody in the back? Is there somebody in the back? Do I see somebody in the back? 400-450 Sold! For 300 dollars to me! What the hell is that?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23909

  27. It squeaks when you bang it, that's what she said. Let's hear it for me! Right? A bargain at any price!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23911

  28. Oh, yes, great. Very good, Um, so, Darryl, and the boys in the hood in the warehouse, have graciously donated to, uh, go out for a beer with them right now. You know what, I'm actually going to bid on this. I'm going to start the bidding, because this is something that I have dreamt of-

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23913

  29. Okay. Okay, sold! Have fun, you guys. Well, this next item is sure to spring steam from your ears if you don't win it. It just says 'Creed.'

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23917

  30. Let's hear an opening bid, everybody. Who's first? Kevin do your taxes. He's the tax man. Kevin the tax man.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23936

  31. Federal and State.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23938

  32. Okay, alright. Hey, you know what? I would appreciate it if people would stop storming off the stage.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23940

  33. We are getting there folks. Slow and steady. Well, well, have we been blessed today. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. David Wallace! Whoo!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23942

  34. Hey!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23944

  35. 100 dollars, great.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23947

  36. Keep it going. Hey batter batter batter.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23952

  37. 160

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23954

  38. Uh, just a few more items.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23982

  39. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right! Here we go. All right, big ticket item. All right, in my pocket, I have... two tickets... to Mr. Bruce Springsteen, front... Oh, where are those? Has anyone seen an envelope with Bruce Springsteen front row tickets and backstage passes? Anybody seen something like-lying around?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23984

  40. No. I think they were stolen. I think they were stolen and they're gone forever. So... oh, that was the last good item. So, good job, everybody.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23986

  41. Yeah, well, Phyllis, nobody... really wants a hug, so.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23988

  42. She's your wife, you idiot.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23990

  43. Uh, what the hell is happening?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23993

  44. 300, we have 300. 300 going once. 300 going twice.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23999

  45. 300 and one penny, 300 and one penny.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24001

  46. 325, 325.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24003

  47. 350

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24005

  48. 350 and one penny.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24007

  49. 400, 400 hey batter batter.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24009

  50. 400 and one penny.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24011

  51. 500

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24013

  52. 500 and one penny. One million dollar!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24015

  53. 700

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24017

  54. Humuna-humuna-humuna-humuna-humuna-

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24019

  55. 1,000 going once, 1,000 going twice. Sold for 1,000 dollar. Nicely done.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24022

  56. Hey, that looks good. Listen, about the tickets. It's sort of a gray-kind of a gray area in terms of...whether or not I had them-

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24024

  57. Oh, I guess that job that I got you is working out for you well, then.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24028

  58. Hey, if there's anything else I can do, just let me know.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24030

  59. You know what? I would love a slice of real New York style pizza.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24032

  60. Even as pie.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24034

  61. Okay... don't ask me how I got it, let's just say that I have... connections. Mmm. Mmm. I'm the Godfather. I'm gonna eat this whole pizza. And then I'm gonna kill you. some cheese. You gotta fold it up. That's the way you eat pizza.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24035

  62. I am going to run three possible date ideas by you and I want you to tell me which one gets your blood percolating.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24040

  63. I have two sure things, one wildcard.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24042

  64. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24044

  65. The wildcard is dinner at a nice restaurant.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24046

  66. Exactly. Here, here are my sure things. I blindfold her. I take her to the Houdini Museum. She chains me up...

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24048

  67. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24050

  68. All right.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24052

  69. Number two, we go to the mall...

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24054

  70. We go to the bed store, I let her choose whatever bed she wants...

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24056

  71. And we have sex on it.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24058

  72. Really? I don't know. It's a big third date, Jim.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24060

  73. What do I do?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24062

  74. Well, I thought as the man that I should make the decision.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24064

  75. Times have changed, Jim.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24066

  76. Okay, I think we are set. We have puzzles, string for Cat's Cradles. Burned this last night. A little road trip CD. Puppets.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24095

  77. When Corporate found out that we were dating, they decided they were going to transfer Holly back to her old branch, in Nashua, New Hampshire.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24097

  78. Road trip! Right?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24099

  79. Oh, copy that breaker. Those Duke boys are at it again.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24101

  80. We're not.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24103

  81. We're not doing anything.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24105

  82. All right everybody. I'm out of here. Jim, you're in charge.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24107

  83. Ah, you are quite the gentleman.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24109

  84. You can let people go a couple of minutes early if you want.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24110

  85. Cool!

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24126

  86. We're gonna switch back and forth, the driving. Sometimes we'll just meet in the middle. It'll be fun. Wait a sec. Oh I love this song.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24128

  87. Ah! Ah! Ahhhh! Hey. Whew. Ow. I was having a nightmare.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24157

  88. Was I? Really? Was I saying anything interesting?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24159

  89. All right. What's the scoop, how far?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24161

  90. Halfway! Okay, You know what I want to do, I want to pull over and find little bed and breakfast for when we meet in the middle. Emphasis on the bed. And the breakfast.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24164

  91. Yeah. I don't know I just- I imagined a hotel right here. Pool, over here. Really good breakfast place. With really good bacon.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24175

  92. Here we go, fourth time's a charm. 'Life's like a road where you just... one day here, and the next day back...Sometimes you deal with it, today you don't, sometimes you do, what you want... there's a world out there.... Hey. Are you crying?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24176

  93. Allergies?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24178

  94. Did Darryl touch you?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24180

  95. What's the matter?

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24183

  96. Sure it is.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24185

  97. Oh no no no.. It's gonna work, it'll be fine.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24187

  98. Listen to me. I like you so much.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24189

  99. And I've dated four women in the last--

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24191

  100. Not last - no. In like the last ten years.

    Season 5 · Episode 5 · Line 24193