Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 68)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 68 of 122

1. Ok, that is fine. Just water, and be back by weigh-in, ok?

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23056

2. Aww, really?

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23088

3. I have to say, I think the problem with that whole thing...

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23090

4. ...was that he was a complete stupid idiot.

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23092

5. I know. I love Counting Crows.

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23094

6. Wow, really?

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23096

7. That's a shame. A shame to waste these. I want to buy them from you.

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23098

8. I do. No. I do. I, I want to. Trust me. I really do.

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23100

9. Ok?

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23102

10. Alright. Alright! Just, I want you to just forget about him, ok? Case closed. Umm, can I pay you tomorrow? I have like a 60 dollar limit on my ATM, so...

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23104

11. Is that good?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23106

12. OK.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23112

13. Darryl, would you do the honors?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23116

14. Nonono, no, no, I don't want to hear moaning. This is a good day. You guys accomplished something big. You lost a ton of weight, literally. A lot of weight. And I don't care what any stupid scale says. You guys are all gigantic losers.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23118

15. No, you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna take that and we are going to us it as a reward for the end of our competition.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23126

16. Hello, hello. Hey! Your face is almost back to normal.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23135

17. Hey, Oscar! Come on, let's go!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23141

18. I am suspending you without pay for the rest of the year.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23144

19. Okay, no, I am not. Dwight! I want you to take Jim's chair. No! No! His chair at his desk. He gets it back on Friday.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23146

20. I want you to get your ass out of my face.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23148

21. That's what she said.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23150

22. Well...

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23162

23. You're...you know what? I read in one of those books that you're not even supposed to give foot massages because it can induce labor.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23164

24. I'm digging.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23166

25. I can't wait to be a father. I'm going to smother that baby.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23168

26. I really, I don't want to get panty liners, please...

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23170

27. I know, it's...

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23172

28. Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23179

29. I want you to get the panty liners.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23181

30. What's going on?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23204

31. To be married?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23207

32. WOO! Alright!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23214

33. Why are you helping her? You're not even dating.' She's my friend... and... ultimately my strategy is to merge this into a relationship... without her even knowing. Uh...

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23215

34. Ok, let's give it for Miss... Holly Flaaaax!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23216

35. Ok. Well done. Good speech Ryan, you're a good guy.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23221

36. Well, I think we can all totally agree that Holly is totally fantastic.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23225

37. Can't set 'em up like that.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23232

38. Can we have a moment? Can I talk to you for a sec? Lot of good stuff. And you look... you look fantastic.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23236

39. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23238

40. Do some... do some work. People expect a lot from these meetings. Laughter, sudden twists. Surprise endings. You need to be Robin Williams and M. Night Shyamalan. You need to be Robin Shyamalan.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23240

41. Do you... just... you're kind of losing them.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23242

42. Yeah, don't think about the stakes. It'll freak you out.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23244

43. Lauren, enough with the pencils.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23246

44. I would not... steal the bread. And I would not let my family go hungry.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23254

45. Anybody? This is a chance for you to say something without any repercussions. Stanley? Oscar, come on.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23256

46. I will go first. When I discovered

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23258

47. To tell you or not. And I'm glad I did. I feel very very good. Cathartic. I promise you that you are not going to get into trouble. You can say anything you want with total and complete immunity.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23260

48. Yeah,. Come on, anybody. Let it fly.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23262

49. A siesta!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23264

50. You are a thief of joy. Anybody else. Yeah?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23268

51. Who hasn't? Good. Good! What else?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23270

52. Mmm...

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23272

53. Well, let's keep this party movin' on.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23274

54. Bruuuuuuuuuce.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23276

55. Ach! Wuh---

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23279

56. That's crazy. That's crazy talk! Meredith! The Merenator, sleepin' with suppliers! Hoo-ooh! Wow! What time we got? You know what? That's a good place to end it. Right there. This, I think, was a great ethics seminar. She has given us a lot of wonderful things to think about. Right... what is wrong. Who's to say? Really. In the end. I mean because it is... unknowable. But, let's give her a round of applause. Holly, everybody. Holly! Get back to work. Great job. I am truly impressed. That, uh, you really pulled that one out. Classic. Classic meeting. We should celebrate.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23282

57. Oh...

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23284

58. Nnyeah. What ya gonna do?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23286

59. Meredith, why don't you tell Holly... it's not what she thinks. Nothing unethical happened... and that you just like to sleep around.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23289

60. No... no, this is just a stupid formality.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23291

61. Ughh! For the love of God we're trying to help you... stupid bag.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23294

62. Well, well. Holly... lujah! It's a miracle, you're at your desk.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23306

63. Hoo-ooh! Reaching! You'll get there. Anyway, I was giving it some thought, and there's no reason that two attractive, good looking, intelligent, funny, attractive people can't, you know, just... sit down and work this whole Meredith thing out.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23308

64. Good. Would you care to bang it out over lunch?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23310

65. Oh no, no, no. Your food is no good here, my lady. Sorry! You know what? Let's go out! Dunder Mifflin's treat. Um, actually you're not a client... so... we'll just split it? Ethical.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23312

66. What do you think? What do you think of this place?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23314

67. Istn't it? Yeah, it's kind of... business/romantic. So you're from Des Moines?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23316

68. Wow, that sounds so... warm.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23318

69. Here too. You know what my favorite season is?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23320

70. Yeah, get the boring stuff out of the way. Autumn was what I was going to say. When the leaves change. It's just, I... I think it is the most contemplative of seasons.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23322

71. Wow, terminator, terminator.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23324

72. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23326

73. I just don't want my employees thinking that their jobs depend on performance. I mean, what sort of place is that to call home? And Meredith needs this job. This is her main source of money.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23339

74. Ok, new idea. We don't report it at all. We just punish her.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23341

75. Mmhmm, tell her she can't have sex for six months.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23343

76. I don't know. I saw this thing, like a belt with a key.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23345

77. No, it's more of a underwear garment that has little spikes like made of, sometimes they are made of metal. You know what I am talking about. You unlock a little door that... down... where you, where you put, where you put the...

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23347

78. I am just saying that I don't think that you understand what I am saying.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23349

79. Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23351

80. Well... bleh busted. I don't...

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23353

81. Well, you have to tolerate a lot when you are part of a family.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23355

82. I will be honest with you. That car ride did not go well and that was not my fault. The only reason I am standing out here right now is because I don't want to take the elevator with her. And I am holding on to her leftovers.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23357

83. What's the only thing worse than one HR rep?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23366

84. You get me.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23368

85. I don't know. Can you? Kendall, my main man.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23370

86. Let the record show that it was during the immunity part of the seminar.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23373

87. How do you tell somebody that you care about deeply, 'I told you so.' Gently with a rose? In a funny way, like it's a hilarious joke? Or do you just let it go, because saying it would just make things worse? ... Probably the funny way.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23383

88. Ok, everybody listen up. If you are not in that conference room in two minutes I am going to kill you.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23389

89. Get in there right now or I'm gonna lose it!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23391

90. Now is really not the time, Meredith.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23393

91. Let's keep this rollin'... Ryan?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23409

92. Oh, cr..., oh, God. Meredith, you know what? I just need a minute, okay?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23439

93. What do you need?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23441

94. I... really want to keep you.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23443

95. Wait, what?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23445

96. Nnnngah!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23447

97. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23449

98. OK, just remember to keep breathing.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23451

99. OK, good.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23453

100. Oh, OK! OK!

     Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23456