Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 68)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 68 of 122

1. Ok, that is fine. Just water, and be back by weigh-in, ok?

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23056

2. Aww, really?

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23088

3. I have to say, I think the problem with that whole thing...

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23090

4. ...was that he was a complete stupid idiot.

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23092

5. I know. I love Counting Crows.

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23094

6. Wow, really?

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23096

7. That's a shame. A shame to waste these. I want to buy them from you.

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23098

8. I do. No. I do. I, I want to. Trust me. I really do.

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23100

9. Ok?

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23102

10. Alright. Alright! Just, I want you to just forget about him, ok? Case closed. Umm, can I pay you tomorrow? I have like a 60 dollar limit on my ATM, so...

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23104

11. Is that good?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23106

12. OK.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23112

13. Darryl, would you do the honors?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23116

14. Nonono, no, no, I don't want to hear moaning. This is a good day. You guys accomplished something big. You lost a ton of weight, literally. A lot of weight. And I don't care what any stupid scale says. You guys are all gigantic losers.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23118

15. No, you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna take that and we are going to us it as a reward for the end of our competition.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23126

16. Hello, hello. Hey! Your face is almost back to normal.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23135

17. Hey, Oscar! Come on, let's go!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23141

18. I am suspending you without pay for the rest of the year.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23144

19. Okay, no, I am not. Dwight! I want you to take Jim's chair. No! No! His chair at his desk. He gets it back on Friday.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23146

20. I want you to get your ass out of my face.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23148

21. That's what she said.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23150

22. Well...

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23162

23. You're...you know what? I read in one of those books that you're not even supposed to give foot massages because it can induce labor.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23164

24. I'm digging.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23166

25. I can't wait to be a father. I'm going to smother that baby.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23168

26. I really, I don't want to get panty liners, please...

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23170

27. I know, it's...

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23172

28. Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23179

29. I want you to get the panty liners.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 23181

30. What's going on?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23204

31. To be married?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23207

32. WOO! Alright!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23214

33. Why are you helping her? You're not even dating.' She's my friend... and... ultimately my strategy is to merge this into a relationship... without her even knowing. Uh...

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23215

34. Ok, let's give it for Miss... Holly Flaaaax!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23216

35. Ok. Well done. Good speech Ryan, you're a good guy.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23221

36. Well, I think we can all totally agree that Holly is totally fantastic.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23225

37. Can't set 'em up like that.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23232

38. Can we have a moment? Can I talk to you for a sec? Lot of good stuff. And you look... you look fantastic.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23236

39. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23238

40. Do some... do some work. People expect a lot from these meetings. Laughter, sudden twists. Surprise endings. You need to be Robin Williams and M. Night Shyamalan. You need to be Robin Shyamalan.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23240

41. Do you... just... you're kind of losing them.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23242

42. Yeah, don't think about the stakes. It'll freak you out.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23244

43. Lauren, enough with the pencils.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23246

44. I would not... steal the bread. And I would not let my family go hungry.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23254

45. Anybody? This is a chance for you to say something without any repercussions. Stanley? Oscar, come on.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23256

46. I will go first. When I discovered

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23258

47. To tell you or not. And I'm glad I did. I feel very very good. Cathartic. I promise you that you are not going to get into trouble. You can say anything you want with total and complete immunity.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23260

48. Yeah,. Come on, anybody. Let it fly.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23262

49. A siesta!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23264

50. You are a thief of joy. Anybody else. Yeah?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23268

51. Who hasn't? Good. Good! What else?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23270

52. Mmm...

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23272

53. Well, let's keep this party movin' on.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23274

54. Bruuuuuuuuuce.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23276

55. Ach! Wuh---

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23279

56. That's crazy. That's crazy talk! Meredith! The Merenator, sleepin' with suppliers! Hoo-ooh! Wow! What time we got? You know what? That's a good place to end it. Right there. This, I think, was a great ethics seminar. She has given us a lot of wonderful things to think about. Right... what is wrong. Who's to say? Really. In the end. I mean because it is... unknowable. But, let's give her a round of applause. Holly, everybody. Holly! Get back to work. Great job. I am truly impressed. That, uh, you really pulled that one out. Classic. Classic meeting. We should celebrate.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23282

57. Oh...

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23284

58. Nnyeah. What ya gonna do?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23286

59. Meredith, why don't you tell Holly... it's not what she thinks. Nothing unethical happened... and that you just like to sleep around.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23289

60. No... no, this is just a stupid formality.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23291

61. Ughh! For the love of God we're trying to help you... stupid bag.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23294

62. Well, well. Holly... lujah! It's a miracle, you're at your desk.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23306

63. Hoo-ooh! Reaching! You'll get there. Anyway, I was giving it some thought, and there's no reason that two attractive, good looking, intelligent, funny, attractive people can't, you know, just... sit down and work this whole Meredith thing out.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23308

64. Good. Would you care to bang it out over lunch?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23310

65. Oh no, no, no. Your food is no good here, my lady. Sorry! You know what? Let's go out! Dunder Mifflin's treat. Um, actually you're not a client... so... we'll just split it? Ethical.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23312

66. What do you think? What do you think of this place?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23314

67. Istn't it? Yeah, it's kind of... business/romantic. So you're from Des Moines?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23316

68. Wow, that sounds so... warm.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23318

69. Here too. You know what my favorite season is?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23320

70. Yeah, get the boring stuff out of the way. Autumn was what I was going to say. When the leaves change. It's just, I... I think it is the most contemplative of seasons.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23322

71. Wow, terminator, terminator.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23324

72. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23326

73. I just don't want my employees thinking that their jobs depend on performance. I mean, what sort of place is that to call home? And Meredith needs this job. This is her main source of money.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23339

74. Ok, new idea. We don't report it at all. We just punish her.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23341

75. Mmhmm, tell her she can't have sex for six months.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23343

76. I don't know. I saw this thing, like a belt with a key.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23345

77. No, it's more of a underwear garment that has little spikes like made of, sometimes they are made of metal. You know what I am talking about. You unlock a little door that... down... where you, where you put, where you put the...

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23347

78. I am just saying that I don't think that you understand what I am saying.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23349

79. Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23351

80. Well... bleh busted. I don't...

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23353

81. Well, you have to tolerate a lot when you are part of a family.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23355

82. I will be honest with you. That car ride did not go well and that was not my fault. The only reason I am standing out here right now is because I don't want to take the elevator with her. And I am holding on to her leftovers.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23357

83. What's the only thing worse than one HR rep?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23366

84. You get me.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23368

85. I don't know. Can you? Kendall, my main man.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23370

86. Let the record show that it was during the immunity part of the seminar.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23373

87. How do you tell somebody that you care about deeply, 'I told you so.' Gently with a rose? In a funny way, like it's a hilarious joke? Or do you just let it go, because saying it would just make things worse? ... Probably the funny way.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23383

88. Ok, everybody listen up. If you are not in that conference room in two minutes I am going to kill you.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23389

89. Get in there right now or I'm gonna lose it!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23391

90. Now is really not the time, Meredith.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23393

91. Let's keep this rollin'... Ryan?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23409

92. Oh, cr..., oh, God. Meredith, you know what? I just need a minute, okay?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23439

93. What do you need?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23441

94. I... really want to keep you.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23443

95. Wait, what?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23445

96. Nnnngah!

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Line 23447

97. Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23449

98. OK, just remember to keep breathing.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23451

99. OK, good.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23453

100. Oh, OK! OK!

     Season 5 · Episode 3 · Line 23456