Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 72)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 72 of 122

1. You're not.

   Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24565

2. Jimbo, let's do this thang.

   Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24597

3. Oh, come on.

   Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24611

4. You too?

   Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24613

5. Jim, they are a poopy.

   Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24615

6. No. Yes, I am sure, Jim. It --

   Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24618

7. I agree.

   Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24620

8. So let's see what we can find out from reading. Jim Halpert is smudge and arrogant.

   Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24622

9. Arrogance.

   Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24624

10. And there's our smudgeness.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24626

11. Here's what's going to happen. I am going to have to fix you, manage you two on a more personal scale, a more micro form of management. Jim, what is that called?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24630

12. Boom! Yes. Now, Jim is going to be the client. Dwight, you're going to have to sell to him without being aggressive, hostile or difficult. Let's go.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24632

13. Ask him his name.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24639

14. Be respectful, Dwight.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24644

15. It's up to you to change his mind.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24649

16. Boundaries, Dwight. Come on!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24653

17. He's hard of -- he's an old man. Let's go.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24656

18. Stop it! Stop it!

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24664

19. That is totally inappropriate. You never yell at the client. You never yell at the client.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24666

20. Here we go.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24668

21. Give me the phone.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24670

22. Give me the phone.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24673

23. Give me the phone. Give me the phone.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24675

24. Hello, this is Michael Scott, regional manager.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24678

25. Hello, Mr. Buttlicker. How may we help you?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24680

26. See how it's done? Thank you very much, sir. I don't think you'll regret it. See what I did?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24683

27. Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24686

28. ... It's a million-dollar sale.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24689

29. Why don't you tell us?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24811

30. Dwight. I was informed by these gentlemen that the reports that you filed may not entirely be accurate.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24814

31. What's going on?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24818

32. Kelly.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24820

33. You cannot say 'I was raped' and expect all of your problems to go away, Kelly. Not again. Don't keep doing that. I'll give you one last chance to come clean. Just tell me what happened.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24822

34. Don't. Don't. Get away from that, Dwight, please. You know what? She's got a point about you two. You do have a problem dealing with people.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24825

35. You were lying.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24827

36. Yes. Jim, Dwight, please excuse us.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24829

37. I will call you when it is time.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24831

38. I have an enormous amount of trouble trying to get people to come to my place. And I hate it. I can't tell you how much leftover guacamole I have ended up eating over the years. I don't even know why I make it in such great quantities. Here's what we're gonna do. We are going to sit here for a while, make it look good. And maybe you should cry. Can you make yourself cry?

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24832

39. I think you should do that.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24834

40. How did I propose, let me see... well, I drove her up to Nashua, and I had the ring, a big 10-carat diamond; it was beautiful. And I got down on my hands and knees, and a shooting star crossed overhead, and it just lit up the diamond like a shooting star. And we were in a restaurant, and I put the diamond into a cheeseburger.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24873

41. And she took a bite, started to choke. So what do I do? I have CPR training. Go around, start doing the Heimlich.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24875

42. The ring, 10-carat diamond, pops out of her mouth, hits her shrimp cocktail, right onto her finger. Million-to-one shot. All of the Greek people in the restaurant start screaming 'Opa!' Which means 'congratulations,' so...

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24877

43. I'm pretty much devastated.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24881

44. Maybe go to Sandals, Jamaica. Or the other Sandals, Jamaica. I just don't want to go by myself.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24884

45. Why are surveys important? Okay, hypothetical: A man wants to buy 500 reams of....carrots. And, so he's like 'What do I do? Where do I go? Do I go to the insensitive carrot supplier, the insensitive carrot salesman? Or do I go to the nice carrot salesman, who will maybe charge a few cents more per ream of carrot, but guarantee next-day delivery on your carrots? Most companies need their carrots the next day. Now, substitute paper for carrots, and that is why surveys are important.'

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24887

46. Great marks, Phyllis.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24888

47. I taught Jim and Dwight everything I know about sales. But there are certain things that cannot be taught, and it is these things that I now must teach them.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24893

48. Attention, all problem sales persons. Jim Halpert... Dwight Schrute...

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24894

49. Intensive one-on-one retraining will begin after lunch. That is all.

    Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24896

50. Did you know that in Morocco it is common to exchange a small gift when meeting somebody for the first time? In Japan you must always commit suicide to avoid embarrassment. In Italy you must always wash your hands after going to the bathroom. This is considered to be polite.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24922

51. I am jetting off on an international business trip.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24924

52. To Can-A-da.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24926

53. Canada.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24928

54. My boss is sending me abroad to do a presentation to an international client and I have always been intrigued by all things international. The women, the pancakes, the man of mystery...

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24930

55. Meredith, I would like you to pretend that you are from Abu Dhabi.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24931

56. I am ashamed at your naked face. I must cover it with my jacket. You are now sexy in your culture.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24933

57. I have my passport.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24941

58. I have my per diem. I already know what I am going to spend this on. I am going to buy a sweater.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24943

59. Well I'll just... I'll use different money for that.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24945

60. And business class air, like a five-star hotel in the sky, nothing but the best. Actually better than a five-star hotel 'cause you get a big, cushy seat and you sit in a row of people and to eat, whatever the mind can imagine. I think I am going to have a filet with mushroom sauce.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24947

61. Well that is all in the past.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24949

62. They have one of those?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24951

63. Lets do this!

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24952

64. Two are for souvenirs.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24954

65. I do. It's right here.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24956

66. No, I don't want to wear a bra.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24958

67. Stop it! Stop it!

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24960

68. Okay. Where is my translator?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24962

69. There he is.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24964

70. Yeah baby! That's what I'm talking about. That could be you if you hadn't forgotten French. Where is my numbers man?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24970

71. There we go. Our town car awaits.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24972

72. Its not just a van.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24974

73. Dwight, can you get those please?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24976

74. Welcome to Cribs-the business class edition. Check this out. Mimosa.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24978

75. Handed to me as I sat down. This was my hot towel. It is still wet.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24980

76. Take a sip of that.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24982

77. That good?

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24984

78. Don't drink all of it. Give some to Oscar.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24986

79. You want one of your own? I can hook you up.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24989

80. Yes, this is Beth. This is my personal valet/flight attendant and she will be helping me this morning.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24991

81. Yes...

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24993

82. Get back, get back. Come on, get back to the slums.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24995

83. Hey... guys, check it out. My own personal DVD player and 20 movies.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 24997

84. Shhhh! Keep it down.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25000

85. Could you have picked something stinkier to bring on a plane? My God, Oscar. Really? Do you have a bag of baby poop in there too, to share with everybody? No, I will be ordering my own food, thank you very much.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25002

86. Hi.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25003

87. Um. I'd like to see a menu please.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25005

88. Oh... okay. Doesn't matter, because I am going to take a nap. I think I am going to use my complimentary blindfold. I will don it... and oh! Look at that. I can't see because I am in a-- GAH!

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25007

89. This is nice. This is nice. Move in here. Very sweet... ah.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25016

90. Alright.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25018

91. Very cool.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25020

92. Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25022

93. Yes! Wallace said there would be one of those.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25024

94. Wow!

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25026

95. Wow! Wow, I am blown away by this. I, um... I--ah! This is great, thank you!

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25029

96. A concierge is like the Winnipeg equivalent of a geisha. This is a woman who has been trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure. And when you meet one, it is intoxicating. Just what the doctor ordered.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25034

97. Guys, she's in there.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25055

98. Let's do this.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25058

99. Excuse me, hello. Concierge Marie. Michael Scott. Good to see you again.

    Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25060

100. Um, this is my associate uh, from Dunder Mifflin, uh, Oscar Martinez.

     Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25062