thedundies.com

Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 7)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 7 of 122

  1. Okay, just throw out all the empties.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1829

  2. Um, yes. Throw them away in the recycling bin.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1831

  3. No.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1833

  4. Uh, what flavor?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1835

  5. Blue's not a flavor.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1837

  6. Oh, Blue Blast. Yes, put that in the trunk, and there should be an unopened Arctic Chill back there. I want that in the passengers cupholder. Thank you.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1839

  7. What, stop! Whoa! That's my Drakkar Noir.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1852

  8. No, it is a perfect smell-alike. I'm not paying for the label. Right here. Give it.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1854

  9. Not it's not, there's some in the straw. There, now you may throw it out.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1856

  10. That's over several months, Ryan.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1858

  11. I think in order to be a ladies man, it's imperative that people don't know you're a ladies man, so I kind of play that close to the chest. I don't know, what can I say? Women are attracted to power. And I think other people have told me that I have a very symmetrical face. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe they're right? I don't know.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1883

  12. Sure you don't want me to help you with that? Cause I can grab that no problem.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1884

  13. See you later. Goodnight. Goodnight, Jim.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1886

  14. Where you going?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1888

  15. With us?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1890

  16. Okay. Great. Off the hook. Excellent. Okay, cool.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1892

  17. Alright, have fun.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1894

  18. Don't drink and drive.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1897

  19. Take it easy.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1898

  20. You too, have a good night.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1900

  21. Do I have a special someone? Uh well, yeah of course. A bunch of 'em. My employees. If I had to choose between a one-night-stand with some stupid cow I pick-up in a bar, and these people? I'd pick them every time. Because with them, it is an everyday stand and I still know their names in the morning.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1909

  22. Dwight. Dwight. Dwight! Okay, that's it. Keep it in your pants.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1921

  23. Well, don't do that. Where are your glasses?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1923

  24. He wears glasses. Did you know that?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1925

  25. Well, now suddenly he can see. Okay, take off. See ya. Bye-bye. There you go steaming hot cup of joe.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1927

  26. Oh, I know your hero. Yeah, saving you from Animal Planet Jack over there.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1929

  27. Yeah, yeah he is the worst.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1931

  28. What's the um, saying, 'once their laughing they're... that's... Once they're laughing that's 50 percent of them being horizontal. So, not that I'm just... Not that that's my... that's what I'm trying to do, but I think it helps kind of melts the ice. Breaks the ice, melts... Breaks the ice and melts them. Melts their hearts.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1932

  29. Thank you, Al Gore... for the Internet. Can send messages from one side the global to the other in the blink of an eye. Can you believe we couldn't do that ten years ago?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1933

  30. Right, but 20 years ago we couldn't and that is amazing. Here's Toby from Human Resources. This is Katy. Toby, Katy.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1935

  31. Toby's divorced. God, that's hard. That really ripped you up. She got the kids right? That'll damage ya. Sorry man. That's uh, that's a bad one. How much you paying her? What can, you can't even afford anything now, right? You're all right though, right? Don't ask me for a raise. Cup of Soup's a good idea though. That'll... that's a good budgetary thing to do.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1944

  32. Well, they're good snacks. They're good food, good meals, good lunch. Roman noodles are good too. You still sleepin' in the car?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1946

  33. Cause he slept in the car a couple times.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1948

  34. Are you still taking the antidepressants? 'Cause it was a good idea. 'Cause it'll help. It'll help, man.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1950

  35. Okay. I'll see you in a bit. She's pretty cute isn't she? See you in a bit.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1952

  36. All right. That's looking good. Hey um, Ryan do you have any music I can borrow.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1980

  37. Ah, I know, everything really. I love it all. I love music.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1982

  38. Yes, I love both of those so much. A lot of 'em.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1984

  39. Mmm hmm. I like 'em.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1986

  40. Yes. God. They're awesome.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1988

  41. Uh huh. Yup. That last thing they did was great.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1990

  42. Cool, so maybe hook me up with some Fleebulls and some Hive.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1992

  43. All right. This is gonna be good.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1994

  44. Tonight is the Dundies, the annual employee awards night here at Dunder Mifflin. And this is everybody's favorite day. Everybody looks forward to it, because, you know, a lot of the people here don't get trophies, very often. Like Meredith or Kevin, I mean, who's gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin' Donuts? Plus, bonus, it's really, really funny. So I, you know, an employee will go home, and he'll tell his neighbor, 'Hey, did you get an award?' And the neighbor will say, 'No man. I mean, I slave all day and nobody notices me.' Next thing you know, employee smells something terrible coming from neighbor's house. Neighbor's hanged himself due to lack of recognition. So...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 1997

  45. Hey hey hey! It's Fat Halpert.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2001

  46. Fat Halpert. Jim Halpert.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2003

  47. So why don't I take you on a tour of past Dundie winners. We got Fat Jim Halpert here. Jim, why don't you show of your Dundies to the camera?

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2004

  48. Oh, that's a good idea.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2006

  49. Gyaaah. T.M.I. T.M.I my friends.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2008

  50. T.M.I.? Too much information. Ah, it's just easier to say T.M.I. I used to say 'Don't go there' but that's... lame.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2009

  51. And here we have Stanley the Manly. Now Stanley is a Dundie all-star, aren't you Stan? Why don't you, ah, show them some of your bling.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2010

  52. Oh, no you di-int.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2012

  53. W-why did you...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2014

  54. Yes we should. I... you know what? I wanted one of those skillets of cheese, but when I got off stage, someone had eaten all of them.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2016

  55. To Oscar Martinez it's the 'Show Me the Money' award! Yeah!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2017

  56. He has the award-ah! ...it's a type of song that we are going to play for the ladies. Hit it, Dwight!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2020

  57. A little bit of Paaam, all night long, a little bit of Angela on the thing...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2021

  58. [in video]...a little bit of Phyllis everywhere...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2022

  59. ...a little bit of Roooy eating chicken crispers... ...a little bit of Jim with some ribs, a little bit of...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2024

  60. Will her highness, Jan Levinson-Gould, be descending from her corporate throne this evening to visit us lowly serfs here at Dunder Mifflin Scranton?

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2040

  61. Well, you could take the bus. You could work on the way here. Sleep on the way home.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2042

  62. Wuh... Come on, Jan. This is important. I mean, this is, this is, validation to my employees here that you and corporate approve of this. So...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2044

  63. Um...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2046

  64. Could you...?

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2047

  65. Yeah, I'm here, I just wanted to, uh, talk to you for a second about that.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2049

  66. Um, what, ah, what is, I mean...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2050

  67. ...come on, Jan!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2051

  68. You're dropping an A-Bomb on me here.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2052

  69. Well, yeah, I mean, what is...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2054

  70. No reason?! It was the 05 05 05 party...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2056

  71. ...it happens once every billion years.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2058

  72. Okay, no, that was a FUN raiser. I think I made that very clear in the fliers, fun, F-U-N.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2060

  73. Well, I think a lot of people were very affected by the footage.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2062

  74. This is a little character I like to do, it is, uh, loosely based on Karnack, one of Carson's classic characters. Here we go. The PLO, the IRA, and the hot dog stand behind the warehouse. 'Name three businesses that have a better health care plans than Dunder Mifflin.' Here's the problem. There's no open bar because of Jan and it's the reason why comedy clubs have a two drink minimum. It'll be fine, I just...wish people were going to be drunk.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2063

  75. The Dundie award for 'Longest Engagement' goes to Pam Beesley.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2074

  76. Pam, everybody!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2075

  77. Whoooo! When is that girl gonna get married? That's what I have to say. Ah, Roy's accepting.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2076

  78. Thank you Roy. Are there any words you'd like to say, on Pam's behalf?

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2078

  79. Yeah, oh, hope not! Oh God!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2080

  80. I'm not changing that, it's the best one.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2081

  81. That's why it's funny. Every year that Roy and Pam don't get married, it gets funnier.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2083

  82. Oh, lazy. Uh huh.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2085

  83. Yes.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2092

  84. Okay, well, that's just ridiculous, so just don't, I-I don't have time for this right now.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2094

  85. Just don't, don't talk-

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2096

  86. Don't talk-

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2098

  87. Just STAP IT YAP IT!!!!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2100

  88. Okay, look, I know there have been a lot of rumors flying around about the Dundies this year. How there is no money, and how there is no food, and how the jokes are really bad, but WHAT THE HELL EVERYBODY!? I mean, God. The Dundies are about the best, in every, one of us. Can't you see that? I mean, okay, we can do better. so, tonight, for the first time, we are inviting all of your friends and family to attend the awards with us.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2101

  89. Yeah, not bad, right? So let's make this the best Dundies ever.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2103

  90. The Dundies, how can I explain it? Awards you like to hate it. I'm psyched you all made it. You never had to work so hard and feel that no one notices you. You're just a name and number and no one even says hello.' Card!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2107

  91. You down with The Dundies? You down with the Dundie-'

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2109

  92. Alright, alright, joke landed. So we are here, thank you all for coming to the 2005 Dundie awards. I am your host, Michael Scott. And I just want to tell you please, please, do not drink and drive. Because you may hit a bump and spill the drink!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2111

  93. Nope, actually this year, ah, no group tab, we're going to be doing separate checks.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2113

  94. I did. And why didn't ya Stanley?

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2115

  95. Well, I'm looking forward to meeting Terri.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2117

  96. Shut it. Um, good. Speaking of relationships, of all, all way shapes and forms. Um, I was out on a very, very hot date with a girl from HR, Dwight.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2119

  97. No, that...for the sake of the story. And things were getting hot and heavy.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2121

  98. And I was about to take her bra off...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2123

  99. ...when she made me fill out six hours of paperwork-

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2125

  100. No! God.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2127