Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 7)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 7 of 122

1. Okay, just throw out all the empties.

   Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1829

2. Um, yes. Throw them away in the recycling bin.

   Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1831

3. No.

   Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1833

4. Uh, what flavor?

   Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1835

5. Blue's not a flavor.

   Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1837

6. Oh, Blue Blast. Yes, put that in the trunk, and there should be an unopened Arctic Chill back there. I want that in the passengers cupholder. Thank you.

   Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1839

7. What, stop! Whoa! That's my Drakkar Noir.

   Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1852

8. No, it is a perfect smell-alike. I'm not paying for the label. Right here. Give it.

   Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1854

9. Not it's not, there's some in the straw. There, now you may throw it out.

   Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1856

10. That's over several months, Ryan.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1858

11. I think in order to be a ladies man, it's imperative that people don't know you're a ladies man, so I kind of play that close to the chest. I don't know, what can I say? Women are attracted to power. And I think other people have told me that I have a very symmetrical face. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe they're right? I don't know.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1883

12. Sure you don't want me to help you with that? Cause I can grab that no problem.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1884

13. See you later. Goodnight. Goodnight, Jim.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1886

14. Where you going?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1888

15. With us?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1890

16. Okay. Great. Off the hook. Excellent. Okay, cool.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1892

17. Alright, have fun.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1894

18. Don't drink and drive.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1897

19. Take it easy.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1898

20. You too, have a good night.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1900

21. Do I have a special someone? Uh well, yeah of course. A bunch of 'em. My employees. If I had to choose between a one-night-stand with some stupid cow I pick-up in a bar, and these people? I'd pick them every time. Because with them, it is an everyday stand and I still know their names in the morning.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1909

22. Dwight. Dwight. Dwight! Okay, that's it. Keep it in your pants.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1921

23. Well, don't do that. Where are your glasses?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1923

24. He wears glasses. Did you know that?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1925

25. Well, now suddenly he can see. Okay, take off. See ya. Bye-bye. There you go steaming hot cup of joe.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1927

26. Oh, I know your hero. Yeah, saving you from Animal Planet Jack over there.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1929

27. Yeah, yeah he is the worst.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1931

28. What's the um, saying, 'once their laughing they're... that's... Once they're laughing that's 50 percent of them being horizontal. So, not that I'm just... Not that that's my... that's what I'm trying to do, but I think it helps kind of melts the ice. Breaks the ice, melts... Breaks the ice and melts them. Melts their hearts.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1932

29. Thank you, Al Gore... for the Internet. Can send messages from one side the global to the other in the blink of an eye. Can you believe we couldn't do that ten years ago?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1933

30. Right, but 20 years ago we couldn't and that is amazing. Here's Toby from Human Resources. This is Katy. Toby, Katy.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1935

31. Toby's divorced. God, that's hard. That really ripped you up. She got the kids right? That'll damage ya. Sorry man. That's uh, that's a bad one. How much you paying her? What can, you can't even afford anything now, right? You're all right though, right? Don't ask me for a raise. Cup of Soup's a good idea though. That'll... that's a good budgetary thing to do.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1944

32. Well, they're good snacks. They're good food, good meals, good lunch. Roman noodles are good too. You still sleepin' in the car?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1946

33. Cause he slept in the car a couple times.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1948

34. Are you still taking the antidepressants? 'Cause it was a good idea. 'Cause it'll help. It'll help, man.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1950

35. Okay. I'll see you in a bit. She's pretty cute isn't she? See you in a bit.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1952

36. All right. That's looking good. Hey um, Ryan do you have any music I can borrow.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1980

37. Ah, I know, everything really. I love it all. I love music.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1982

38. Yes, I love both of those so much. A lot of 'em.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1984

39. Mmm hmm. I like 'em.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1986

40. Yes. God. They're awesome.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1988

41. Uh huh. Yup. That last thing they did was great.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1990

42. Cool, so maybe hook me up with some Fleebulls and some Hive.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1992

43. All right. This is gonna be good.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1994

44. Tonight is the Dundies, the annual employee awards night here at Dunder Mifflin. And this is everybody's favorite day. Everybody looks forward to it, because, you know, a lot of the people here don't get trophies, very often. Like Meredith or Kevin, I mean, who's gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin' Donuts? Plus, bonus, it's really, really funny. So I, you know, an employee will go home, and he'll tell his neighbor, 'Hey, did you get an award?' And the neighbor will say, 'No man. I mean, I slave all day and nobody notices me.' Next thing you know, employee smells something terrible coming from neighbor's house. Neighbor's hanged himself due to lack of recognition. So...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 1997

45. Hey hey hey! It's Fat Halpert.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2001

46. Fat Halpert. Jim Halpert.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2003

47. So why don't I take you on a tour of past Dundie winners. We got Fat Jim Halpert here. Jim, why don't you show of your Dundies to the camera?

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2004

48. Oh, that's a good idea.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2006

49. Gyaaah. T.M.I. T.M.I my friends.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2008

50. T.M.I.? Too much information. Ah, it's just easier to say T.M.I. I used to say 'Don't go there' but that's... lame.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2009

51. And here we have Stanley the Manly. Now Stanley is a Dundie all-star, aren't you Stan? Why don't you, ah, show them some of your bling.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2010

52. Oh, no you di-int.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2012

53. W-why did you...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2014

54. Yes we should. I... you know what? I wanted one of those skillets of cheese, but when I got off stage, someone had eaten all of them.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2016

55. To Oscar Martinez it's the 'Show Me the Money' award! Yeah!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2017

56. He has the award-ah! ...it's a type of song that we are going to play for the ladies. Hit it, Dwight!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2020

57. A little bit of Paaam, all night long, a little bit of Angela on the thing...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2021

58. [in video]...a little bit of Phyllis everywhere...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2022

59. ...a little bit of Roooy eating chicken crispers... ...a little bit of Jim with some ribs, a little bit of...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2024

60. Will her highness, Jan Levinson-Gould, be descending from her corporate throne this evening to visit us lowly serfs here at Dunder Mifflin Scranton?

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2040

61. Well, you could take the bus. You could work on the way here. Sleep on the way home.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2042

62. Wuh... Come on, Jan. This is important. I mean, this is, this is, validation to my employees here that you and corporate approve of this. So...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2044

63. Um...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2046

64. Could you...?

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2047

65. Yeah, I'm here, I just wanted to, uh, talk to you for a second about that.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2049

66. Um, what, ah, what is, I mean...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2050

67. ...come on, Jan!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2051

68. You're dropping an A-Bomb on me here.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2052

69. Well, yeah, I mean, what is...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2054

70. No reason?! It was the 05 05 05 party...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2056

71. ...it happens once every billion years.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2058

72. Okay, no, that was a FUN raiser. I think I made that very clear in the fliers, fun, F-U-N.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2060

73. Well, I think a lot of people were very affected by the footage.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2062

74. This is a little character I like to do, it is, uh, loosely based on Karnack, one of Carson's classic characters. Here we go. The PLO, the IRA, and the hot dog stand behind the warehouse. 'Name three businesses that have a better health care plans than Dunder Mifflin.' Here's the problem. There's no open bar because of Jan and it's the reason why comedy clubs have a two drink minimum. It'll be fine, I just...wish people were going to be drunk.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2063

75. The Dundie award for 'Longest Engagement' goes to Pam Beesley.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2074

76. Pam, everybody!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2075

77. Whoooo! When is that girl gonna get married? That's what I have to say. Ah, Roy's accepting.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2076

78. Thank you Roy. Are there any words you'd like to say, on Pam's behalf?

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2078

79. Yeah, oh, hope not! Oh God!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2080

80. I'm not changing that, it's the best one.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2081

81. That's why it's funny. Every year that Roy and Pam don't get married, it gets funnier.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2083

82. Oh, lazy. Uh huh.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2085

83. Yes.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2092

84. Okay, well, that's just ridiculous, so just don't, I-I don't have time for this right now.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2094

85. Just don't, don't talk-

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2096

86. Don't talk-

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2098

87. Just STAP IT YAP IT!!!!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2100

88. Okay, look, I know there have been a lot of rumors flying around about the Dundies this year. How there is no money, and how there is no food, and how the jokes are really bad, but WHAT THE HELL EVERYBODY!? I mean, God. The Dundies are about the best, in every, one of us. Can't you see that? I mean, okay, we can do better. so, tonight, for the first time, we are inviting all of your friends and family to attend the awards with us.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2101

89. Yeah, not bad, right? So let's make this the best Dundies ever.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2103

90. The Dundies, how can I explain it? Awards you like to hate it. I'm psyched you all made it. You never had to work so hard and feel that no one notices you. You're just a name and number and no one even says hello.' Card!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2107

91. You down with The Dundies? You down with the Dundie-'

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2109

92. Alright, alright, joke landed. So we are here, thank you all for coming to the 2005 Dundie awards. I am your host, Michael Scott. And I just want to tell you please, please, do not drink and drive. Because you may hit a bump and spill the drink!

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2111

93. Nope, actually this year, ah, no group tab, we're going to be doing separate checks.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2113

94. I did. And why didn't ya Stanley?

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2115

95. Well, I'm looking forward to meeting Terri.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2117

96. Shut it. Um, good. Speaking of relationships, of all, all way shapes and forms. Um, I was out on a very, very hot date with a girl from HR, Dwight.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2119

97. No, that...for the sake of the story. And things were getting hot and heavy.

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2121

98. And I was about to take her bra off...

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2123

99. ...when she made me fill out six hours of paperwork-

    Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2125

100. No! God.

     Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2127