thedundies.com

Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 10)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 10 of 122

  1. Yes. Yes. Final walkthrough.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2745

  2. Sign the papers at the condo.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2747

  3. Uh, I don't need one.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2749

  4. I don't need a representative.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2751

  5. No, No.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2753

  6. No. Dwight. I'm fine.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2755

  7. Well, this isn't about work. This is closing on a condo, it's completely personal.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2757

  8. Except that, this is about my living arrangement, and as boss, I need to have a living arrangement in order to do work.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2759

  9. Ok. Fine. Yes, you can come.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2761

  10. As my associate.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2763

  11. No it is not.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2765

  12. Oh, most honorable Pamera. Not offensive, because that's the way they talk in movies.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2767

  13. We are. Dwight and I are going to the big thing. So why don't you have everybody work on their expense reports and I'd like them in by the end of the day.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2769

  14. Very good.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2771

  15. We will. Um, did you do the thing I asked you to do about the magazines?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2773

  16. Good. The Small Business Man?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2775

  17. Maxim? American Way? Cracked?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2777

  18. How about, uh, Fine Arts? Aficionado Monthly?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2779

  19. NO, well can you get on that, because I don't just read Cracked. Thank you.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2781

  20. Ok. See you soon.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2783

  21. I don't know, regular. Normal ones. Nothing fancy. Not my style. What are you doing?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2785

  22. What? No, Dwight. It's fifty degrees outside. Don't... please...

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2787

  23. I... Just... Would you put it up? Ok. Fine. Just leave it down. Whiner.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2789

  24. I do not understand what you spend your money on.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2791

  25. Home, sweet home.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2817

  26. Right there. My sanctuary. My party pad. Someday I can just see my grandkids learning how to walk out here. Hang a swing from this tree. Push them back... wait... no, it's this one, right here. Home, sweet home.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2819

  27. Oh, how are you? Nice to meet you, Bill. Bill. Mr. Bill. OHHH NOOO. MR. BILL. OHHH! SNL? When they pull him apart? He'd always get rolled over by something.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2822

  28. Nice to meet you too.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2824

  29. Yeah, small. I'm buying it and I'm not renting it. So, it's still an upgrade. He doesn't know anything about property ownership. Kind of an idiot. Um.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2826

  30. Oh. Good. That's good. It's good to be accommodating of that.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2832

  31. This, my friends, is the master bedroom. Check out the cathedral ceilings. Those are like seventeen feet high. We have cable readiness. Right there. I am going to totally pimp this place out. I am going to put a surround sound system. I am going to put a plasma screen right against this wall.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2837

  32. I'm putting my bed right over here.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2839

  33. Well, then I will get a warrantee.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2841

  34. Well then I won't get a warrantee.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2843

  35. So that's the problem, is solved. What?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2845

  36. Uh... Ten year.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2855

  37. What? Wha? You said ten.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2857

  38. Ok, ok, ok.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2860

  39. Alright.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2862

  40. Ok. Alright. Oh boy.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2864

  41. Um. Oh. Oh, ok. Is that suppose to come off?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2867

  42. Um. I'm going to take a little breather for a second. Excuse me.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2870

  43. Oh, man.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2872

  44. Uh.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2875

  45. The ceilings are lower than they were last week. That, I don't... I don't...

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2885

  46. ...know if you showed me this same unit or not.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2887

  47. Where are all the hot people? I was told that there would be all these attractive singles.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2889

  48. As far as I can tell, I'm the best-looking person here.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2891

  49. There's a basic principle in real estate, that you should never be the best-looking person in the development. It's just sorta common sense, because if you are, then you've no place to go but down.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2892

  50. No, no, no.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2894

  51. I am not going to rent the third bedroom. I want a price reduction or I am a-walkin.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2896

  52. Ehhhh....

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2898

  53. I made the right decision. I'm glad I signed. I'm a homeowner. Right? Good to be a homeowner. Diversifying. This is good. This is fun. We're having fun.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2899

  54. There's something else Dwight wanted to talk to you about. I have a surprise for you, for helping me out today.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2912

  55. No, no. I insist. I insist. Because you've really done some great work. Great work. And that is why, I am going to let you move into my third bedroom and pay me rent.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2914

  56. Why did I do it? Because I believe in rewarding people for their efforts. Ah. I rewarded Dwight with the room, and he is rewarding me back, ah, with $500 plus utilities.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2915

  57. I'm thinking, lock into a four year commitment, we'll go month to month after that. Or, until I start dating, have a girlfriend, then you're, you know, you're gone.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2917

  58. What the hell is a terrarium?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2919

  59. Oh, so an aquarium. Ah, that will not come into this place.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2921

  60. We take separate cars.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2935

  61. Why would we do that?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2937

  62. No.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2939

  63. EHHHHNT. Game over. Offer revoked. Dwight. I'm sorry, but you reach out and you try to be a nice guy, and help out a friend, and this is what happens. This is what I get. Oh god. I'm ... Ok.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2941

  64. Yeah, well, you know what? Nobody cares about your stupid beet farm. Beets are the worst.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2955

  65. Nobody likes beets.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2957

  66. Nobody likes beets, Dwight. Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy. I'd love a piece of candy right now. Not a beet.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2959

  67. Stop it!

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2961

  68. Yeah. Jim. Slim Jim. What's going... What's going on?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2983

  69. Oh. Thanks. Thanks. It's very cool. It's a three bedroom, gay-friendly.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2985

  70. You know.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2987

  71. Really?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2989

  72. What's this?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2990

  73. I don't really know what to say. Um, I'm not one for making speeches, but ah, my heart is very full at this moment.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2992

  74. Get up here, Dwight.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2994

  75. Yep, not as good as gold. Why are you playing the national anthem?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2996

  76. Oh. What the hell is that?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 2998

  77. Oh, okay. I'll tell you. Let's see here. Three bedroom, two bath...

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3026

  78. ...contemporary townhouse. Two car parking...

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3028

  79. ...wall-to-wall carpets...

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3030

  80. ...all fixtures included. Yes, this is... This is looking good.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3032

  81. I think it does.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3034

  82. Yes.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3036

  83. I think it has a... Yeah, it has a deck. They call it a porch, but it has a deck.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3038

  84. When a man is laying on his deathbed there are four things that go through his mind. Was I well-loved? Check. Did I express myself? Did I let my light shine through? Check. Will an attractive woman cry at my funeral? Check. Probably more than one. Check. Check, check, check, check. Lastly, did I achieve success and own real estate? And when I close on this condo, I will be able to check that one as well.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3039

  85. Home owner. About to join an exclusive club, Dwight. Maybe some day these people out here will know what that feels like. Maybe not. Who knows? Not my problem.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3050

  86. Are we ready?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3052

  87. Are we gonna do it?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3054

  88. This is all mine. All the way down around the corner. It's a shared space, but I can use it whenever I want to,

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3055

  89. Ah, the volunteer Sheriff station.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3057

  90. No.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3059

  91. Oh, anything bad?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3061

  92. Mmm-hmm.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3063

  93. Mmm-hmm.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3065

  94. No.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3067

  95. I don't need a gun.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3069

  96. Hello! How are you? I'm, uh, just about to close on 126 over there and I guess we're going to be neighbors. Very cool, very cool. So, uh, so what's the vibe? What's the vibe of this place?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3071

  97. Oh... That's gonna change.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3073

  98. Because I loves to party and I'm gonna be partying my butt out at this place.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3075

  99. Here's a question for you. I have a convertible. Is it safe that park that in my driveway. All right. See you soon. Good guy. Um, cool.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3081

  100. I think I'm going to make myself some microwave popcorn. Press 'Popcorn.' Oh, that's gonna be delicious. I just love having popcorn in the middle of the afternoon. You know what? I could do with some hot chocolate as well. Oh, drat. I can't make hot chocolate and popcorn at the same time, unless, I can. Boom! Second microwave for le hot chocolat.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Quote 3089