Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.
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Yes. Yes. Final walkthrough.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2745
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Sign the papers at the condo.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2747
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Uh, I don't need one.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2749
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I don't need a representative.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2751
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No, No.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2753
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No. Dwight. I'm fine.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2755
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Well, this isn't about work. This is closing on a condo, it's completely personal.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2757
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Except that, this is about my living arrangement, and as boss, I need to have a living arrangement in order to do work.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2759
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Ok. Fine. Yes, you can come.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2761
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As my associate.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2763
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No it is not.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2765
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Oh, most honorable Pamera. Not offensive, because that's the way they talk in movies.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2767
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We are. Dwight and I are going to the big thing. So why don't you have everybody work on their expense reports and I'd like them in by the end of the day.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2769
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Very good.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2771
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We will. Um, did you do the thing I asked you to do about the magazines?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2773
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Good. The Small Business Man?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2775
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Maxim? American Way? Cracked?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2777
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How about, uh, Fine Arts? Aficionado Monthly?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2779
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NO, well can you get on that, because I don't just read Cracked. Thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2781
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Ok. See you soon.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2783
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I don't know, regular. Normal ones. Nothing fancy. Not my style. What are you doing?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2785
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What? No, Dwight. It's fifty degrees outside. Don't... please...
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2787
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I... Just... Would you put it up? Ok. Fine. Just leave it down. Whiner.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2789
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I do not understand what you spend your money on.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2791
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Home, sweet home.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2817
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Right there. My sanctuary. My party pad. Someday I can just see my grandkids learning how to walk out here. Hang a swing from this tree. Push them back... wait... no, it's this one, right here. Home, sweet home.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2819
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Oh, how are you? Nice to meet you, Bill. Bill. Mr. Bill. OHHH NOOO. MR. BILL. OHHH! SNL? When they pull him apart? He'd always get rolled over by something.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2822
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Nice to meet you too.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2824
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Yeah, small. I'm buying it and I'm not renting it. So, it's still an upgrade. He doesn't know anything about property ownership. Kind of an idiot. Um.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2826
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Oh. Good. That's good. It's good to be accommodating of that.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2832
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This, my friends, is the master bedroom. Check out the cathedral ceilings. Those are like seventeen feet high. We have cable readiness. Right there. I am going to totally pimp this place out. I am going to put a surround sound system. I am going to put a plasma screen right against this wall.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2837
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I'm putting my bed right over here.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2839
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Well, then I will get a warrantee.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2841
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Well then I won't get a warrantee.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2843
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So that's the problem, is solved. What?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2845
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Uh... Ten year.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2855
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What? Wha? You said ten.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2857
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Ok, ok, ok.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2860
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Alright.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2862
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Ok. Alright. Oh boy.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2864
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Um. Oh. Oh, ok. Is that suppose to come off?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2867
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Um. I'm going to take a little breather for a second. Excuse me.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2870
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Oh, man.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2872
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Uh.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2875
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The ceilings are lower than they were last week. That, I don't... I don't...
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2885
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...know if you showed me this same unit or not.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2887
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Where are all the hot people? I was told that there would be all these attractive singles.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2889
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As far as I can tell, I'm the best-looking person here.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2891
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There's a basic principle in real estate, that you should never be the best-looking person in the development. It's just sorta common sense, because if you are, then you've no place to go but down.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2892
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No, no, no.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2894
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I am not going to rent the third bedroom. I want a price reduction or I am a-walkin.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2896
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Ehhhh....
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2898
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I made the right decision. I'm glad I signed. I'm a homeowner. Right? Good to be a homeowner. Diversifying. This is good. This is fun. We're having fun.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2899
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There's something else Dwight wanted to talk to you about. I have a surprise for you, for helping me out today.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2912
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No, no. I insist. I insist. Because you've really done some great work. Great work. And that is why, I am going to let you move into my third bedroom and pay me rent.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2914
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Why did I do it? Because I believe in rewarding people for their efforts. Ah. I rewarded Dwight with the room, and he is rewarding me back, ah, with $500 plus utilities.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2915
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I'm thinking, lock into a four year commitment, we'll go month to month after that. Or, until I start dating, have a girlfriend, then you're, you know, you're gone.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2917
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What the hell is a terrarium?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2919
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Oh, so an aquarium. Ah, that will not come into this place.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2921
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We take separate cars.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2935
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Why would we do that?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2937
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No.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2939
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EHHHHNT. Game over. Offer revoked. Dwight. I'm sorry, but you reach out and you try to be a nice guy, and help out a friend, and this is what happens. This is what I get. Oh god. I'm ... Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2941
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Yeah, well, you know what? Nobody cares about your stupid beet farm. Beets are the worst.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2955
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Nobody likes beets.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2957
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Nobody likes beets, Dwight. Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy. I'd love a piece of candy right now. Not a beet.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2959
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Stop it!
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2961
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Yeah. Jim. Slim Jim. What's going... What's going on?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2983
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Oh. Thanks. Thanks. It's very cool. It's a three bedroom, gay-friendly.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2985
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You know.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2987
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Really?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2989
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What's this?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2990
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I don't really know what to say. Um, I'm not one for making speeches, but ah, my heart is very full at this moment.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2992
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Get up here, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2994
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Yep, not as good as gold. Why are you playing the national anthem?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2996
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Oh. What the hell is that?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2998
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Oh, okay. I'll tell you. Let's see here. Three bedroom, two bath...
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3026
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...contemporary townhouse. Two car parking...
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3028
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...wall-to-wall carpets...
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3030
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...all fixtures included. Yes, this is... This is looking good.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3032
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I think it does.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3034
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Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3036
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I think it has a... Yeah, it has a deck. They call it a porch, but it has a deck.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3038
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When a man is laying on his deathbed there are four things that go through his mind. Was I well-loved? Check. Did I express myself? Did I let my light shine through? Check. Will an attractive woman cry at my funeral? Check. Probably more than one. Check. Check, check, check, check. Lastly, did I achieve success and own real estate? And when I close on this condo, I will be able to check that one as well.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3039
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Home owner. About to join an exclusive club, Dwight. Maybe some day these people out here will know what that feels like. Maybe not. Who knows? Not my problem.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3050
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Are we ready?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3052
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Are we gonna do it?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3054
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This is all mine. All the way down around the corner. It's a shared space, but I can use it whenever I want to,
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3055
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Ah, the volunteer Sheriff station.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3057
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No.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3059
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Oh, anything bad?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3061
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Mmm-hmm.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3063
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Mmm-hmm.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3065
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No.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3067
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I don't need a gun.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3069
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Hello! How are you? I'm, uh, just about to close on 126 over there and I guess we're going to be neighbors. Very cool, very cool. So, uh, so what's the vibe? What's the vibe of this place?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3071
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Oh... That's gonna change.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3073
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Because I loves to party and I'm gonna be partying my butt out at this place.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3075
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Here's a question for you. I have a convertible. Is it safe that park that in my driveway. All right. See you soon. Good guy. Um, cool.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3081
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I think I'm going to make myself some microwave popcorn. Press 'Popcorn.' Oh, that's gonna be delicious. I just love having popcorn in the middle of the afternoon. You know what? I could do with some hot chocolate as well. Oh, drat. I can't make hot chocolate and popcorn at the same time, unless, I can. Boom! Second microwave for le hot chocolat.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3089