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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 5)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 5 of 122

  1. Oh, well, I'm glad that some time is a busy time because whenever I'm down here it doesn't seem too busy to me. Oh, oh. You can dish it out, but you can't take it. OK, fine, have it your way.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1294

  2. All right, see you at one.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1296

  3. Are we ready for the game?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1297

  4. I... yeah, yeah. I know, grumble, grumble. But you would follow me to the ends of the earth, grumbling all the way. Like that, uh, dwarf from Lord of the Rings.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1299

  5. Nerd. That is why you're not on the team.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1301

  6. Uh, 'I'll help, Elwyn Dragonslayer, uh, ten points, power sword.'

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1303

  7. OK, so, let's put together a starting line-up, shall we? Stanley of course.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1305

  8. Um, what do you play? Center?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1307

  9. Uh...

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1309

  10. Uh, I don't know. I don't remember saying that.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1311

  11. Well, people hear a lot of things, man. Um... other starters... Me, of course. I heard it that time.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1313

  12. Um... Yeah. Who else? We have Jim. We have Ryan, the new guy, right? Untested. Willing to prove himself now. A lot of passion, a lot of heart.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1315

  13. Yes.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1317

  14. Yes, this is business. The, uh, business of team building and morale boosting. Uh, who else?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1319

  15. I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we box.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1321

  16. No.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1323

  17. No, no, ridiculous.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1325

  18. Close. All right, uh... Me, Stan the man, Jim, Ryan and Dwight.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1327

  19. Sorry Phyllis.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1329

  20. No, I'm team captain.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1331

  21. No, I am the team manager. You can be assistant to the team manager.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1333

  22. No.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1335

  23. Jim, you're in charge of the vacation schedule now.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1337

  24. Threat neutralized.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1339

  25. Off the backboard!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1340

  26. Oh, Pam with a zinger. Hey, Pam, how would you, like to be our cheerleader today? You know, some, ah, pigtails? A little, ah, halter top, you could tie that up. And you know, something a little, just, youthful, for a change. Just this once?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1342

  27. Yeah, I bet you would. Just try not to be too gay on the court. And by gay I mean, um, you know, not in a homosexual way at all. I mean the uh, you know, like the bad-at-sports way. I think that goes without saying.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1345

  28. Oh, yeah right.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1347

  29. Oh, yuck, that's worse than you playing. ... 'Cause we need you as an alternate in case somebody gets hurt. That's where we need you. Blessed be those who sit and wait. You made it, suit up, you're on the team! All right, cool! Very good.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1349

  30. Oh-oh. Oh-oh. A spy from the warehouse. Trying to figure out our plays, huh, man?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1350

  31. Oh ho, oh, he's running. He's running. He's running, but he can't hide because you know what? One o'clock, you better bring your 'A' game. Because me, and my, posse guys are gonna be in your face. Right in your face!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1352

  32. Whoa-ho. I like the way you think. You know what, I'm gonna take that one step further. Loser, works, on Saturday.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1354

  33. What?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1356

  34. OK. Cool, you're on. Don't screw this up.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1358

  35. Classic beginner's mistake, eating before a game.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1359

  36. Hey, there he is! Secret weapon! All right, guys, come on, let's bring it in! Here we go! OK, listen, this is just going to be a friendly game, right? We are all on the same team here, the Dunder Mifflin team. Of course, if you beat us, you're fired. That's a joke. OK, let's do it.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1374

  37. All right, everybody stretch out a little bit. Stretch it. Full stretch. Ryan, you wanna stretch?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1377

  38. OK.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1379

  39. OK, Ryan, you have Darryl. I have Roy.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1380

  40. Actually, I think Roy is their best player not Lonny. So, Dwight, you uh, have the East German gal. Uh, who else we got... Um...OK, all right, you guys.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1382

  41. Aw, come on Dwight.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1384

  42. On. Just put it on.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1386

  43. Yes. Uh, Pam? You kind of have your foot in both camps, why don't you do the uh, jump ball OK?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1388

  44. Stanley! What? You gotta be kidding me! !?! Oh... Here we go! Who's on him? Somebody get him!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1390

  45. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Over here, over here. Here we go. Three! Let's go to the zone! We're going to zone!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1393

  46. Who's got Roy?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1397

  47. Aw, come on! What is wrong with me today!? Usually hit those. Dwight, I was open. All right, let's go.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1399

  48. OK, foul. Charging. Charging. That's a foul.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1400

  49. OK, I'll take it. OK.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1402

  50. When I am playing hoops all of the stress and responsibility of my job here just melts away. It's gone, I'm in the zone.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1403

  51. What is wrong with me today?!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1404

  52. Who am I? Am I Michael Scott? I don't know... I might just be a basketball machine. What's Dunder Mifflin? I've never heard of it. Filing? Paperwork? Who cares? Possible downsizing? Um... well, that's probably gonna happen, actually.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1405

  53. Jim! Jim! Jim, right here, Jim! Give me the ball! Ryan, cut! Whoa!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1406

  54. That is cool. Is that like the Robot?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1410

  55. Nice! Come here!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1411

  56. Come on! Hey, Dwight. Dwight!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1417

  57. You know what? Dwight, Dwight...

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1420

  58. Football is like rock and roll, it's just bam-bam-boo... And basketball is like jazz, you know? You're kind of... Dupee-doo, dupee-do. It's all downbeat, it's in the pocket, it's like... Dupee-do, dupee-do, dapee-dah...

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1421

  59. Du-du-du-du-dupee-do, de-do-do-do. Du-du-du-du-dupee-do, de-do-do-do. Harlem Globetrotter...

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1422

  60. All right, time, time out. Come on, sales, over here. Bring it in! Come on!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1424

  61. What's going on? What's going on? You're playing like a bunch of girls.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1425

  62. All right, switch. Take it up a notch, come on.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1427

  63. Shoot, shoot it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Foul! Naked aggression! Oh, that is... You all right Jim? Suck it up.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1428

  64. Ouch! Oh, how much does it hurt? How much does it hurt?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1431

  65. Yes!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1432

  66. Watch the long passes, you guys!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1436

  67. Dwight!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1438

  68. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! In, your, face! Angela, what's the score?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1440

  69. Yeah, baby, here we go!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1442

  70. Jim! Jim! Right here! Ow! God! Hold it!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1443

  71. Foul! Foul!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1445

  72. Oh, that hurts.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1447

  73. What's your problem man? Gah, just clocking me for no reason?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1449

  74. No, no, no, no. That was a flagrant, personal, intentional foul. Right there.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1451

  75. Yes, it was. You know what, I'm just being fair.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1453

  76. Game over. Game over. That is it! I'm sorry, you know? I hate to do it this way but, you know, that's just... we're having a friendly game. It's a shame. This is a damn shame, but we're like a family here and that just, that won't fly.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1455

  77. Thanks Dwight.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1458

  78. Well, let's just say whoever was ahead won.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1460

  79. It was us? Really? I didn't, I didn't know. Great, I mean, I guess you guys are working Saturday. Your face.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1462

  80. Um... well, you guys, you know, I'm the boss so...

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1465

  81. Hey, hey...

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1467

  82. You guys believed me? Come on. Dogs, you know, you should know me better than that. No, oh, do you think that would've been good for morale? No. No. No. Exactly, no. I'm embarrassed it was even that close though. So... nah, of course, we're coming in Saturday. Good game. Word.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1469

  83. Hey, what a game, huh? What a game.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1478

  84. Come on. Let's not be gloomy here man. We're all in this together. We're a team. You know what? Screw corporate, nobody's coming in tomorrow. You have the day off. Like coming in an extra day is gonna prevent us from being downsized. Have a good weekend.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1480

  85. The great thing about sports is that it is all about character. And you can learn lessons about life even if you don't win. But we did because we were ahead.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1481

  86. Pam, Pam, thank you ma'am. Messages, please. Thank you.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1482

  87. Uh, yes. Thank you for noticing.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1484

  88. Uh, they look that good? Wow. Oh, Pam please behave. Mike Myers, genius. Um, no actually I got them at a fancier place. Target.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1486

  89. Uh...

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1488

  90. Yes, yes. Assistant to the regional manager.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1490

  91. No, it's not. It's lower.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1492

  92. What was that?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1494

  93. That look?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1496

  94. Like trying to find the camera, to give the camera a look. Okay, we're done. Is that your stomach? I keep hearing somebody's stomach. God.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1498

  95. So, you uh, see the Sixers game last night?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1499

  96. Oww whoo whoo! The Answer was on fire!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1501

  97. Oh, man! Man I tell ya. Iverson has maybe got me beat by like 20 pounds, 3 inches.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1503

  98. No, neither am I. We both look good.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1505

  99. Do I have a nickname on the court, um? Well, The Answer would be nice, but it's taken. So, uh, probably The Question. The Answer dishes to The Question. The Question back to The Answer. Answer over to The Question. The Answer, whew, three points. The Question, whew, whew, six points. Nothing but net. Question, who's the best player in the league? Answer, The Question. Or the Drunkmeister.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1506

  100. Packer. Pac-man.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1514