Michael Scott Quotes from The Office | Page 6

Pac-man

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1516

I'm not your lover! I'm am not Michael Scott, I am Dr. Bergerstein. Your proctologist.

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1518

Ah, yes. Ah.

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1520

It's not a Jewish joke, so don't worry.

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1522

No, hey, hey , hey. You know what I just wanted to remind you about the game today. One 'o clock. Big game, big game.

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1524

Mmm. No, you said you could man. We're counting on ya. You know you're playing point guard.

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1526

No. Hey... I mean, although it's just for fun, you know we want... I was counting on you man.

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1528

I... I think you can play. Like you could when you were a kid. I think you can never give up the play. Because if people stop playing, then they stop living. It's like a shark. If a shark stops playing he stops living. And sharks are very playful creatures.

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1545

You know what. I think most basketball movies are great movies. Because it's a great subject. There's one about a little kid who, um, joins a professional basketball team and he's really, really good and he can dunk and he's like 3 feet tall. And he can dunk the ball. That, oh, I love that movie. That movie kind of, that movie makes me cry. I don't like to cry on camera, but that movie makes me cry. Um, because it touches a cord in me about hoops. Short, short, short! And basketball is like jazz, you know. To like pertipify it there's a jazz musician, a guy, you know... if you know jazz you know who I mean. He's uh, God what was his name? Um, he plays one of those curly horns, like those really shiny curly horns that's used in jazz a lot.

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1550

Birdie. He's not the guy with the cheeks. Kenny G. Is... if you knew jazz, you'd know who I mean. Kenny G. God. Glad I remembered that. Jazz people know who he is.

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1554

Dwight, pass it to Jim! Pass it to Ryan!

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1555

Stanley, gotta play hurt.

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1557

I just want you know, you've been a big disappointment to me today, okay.

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1559

I'm in. I'm in. Here we go. Zone, Phyllis! We're playing zone!

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1561

Yes! Yes! All right. We got game!

Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1563

Affirmative.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1565

You just said, let me uh... check my notes. You just said...

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1567

Hey, hey how is Alan? Tell Alan that the Mets suck! Okay? From me, big time. Go Pirates!

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1569

Okay

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1571

Uh, huh.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1573

Whoa. Howdy-ho. Wow, a thousand big ones. That's cool. Do I uh, do I get to pick the prize?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1575

Um, question: Does top salesman include uh, people who were at one time such outstanding salesman that've been promoted to...

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1577

I didn't mean me!

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1579

Well, first what we have to do is find out what motivates people more than anything else.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1580

It's illegal. Can't do that. Next best thing.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1582

Tah, come on Dwight. Just help me out here. That's just stupid.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1584

Pam!

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1586

Burger with cheese!

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1588

And fries!

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1590

And shake! What? Go ahead.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1592

No, no, no. No vendors in the office. That is a distraction.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1594

Pam. Pam. Come on, I'm busy. So just tell her to go away.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1596

Oooh, alright I'll talk to her.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1598

All right girls break it up, you're being infiltrated. Cock in the henhouse.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1600

Don't say cocks. Oh, what is your name, my fair lass?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1602

Ah, Katy. Wow. Look at you. You are, uh you're like the new and improved Pam. Pam 6.0.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1604

Oh, look. Oh hey, no catfights you two. I'm against violence in the workplace.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1605

Nobody cares what you think.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1607

So uh, you know what? I usually don't allow solicitors in the office but today I am going to break some rules, and you can have the conference room. It's yours. All day.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1609

Well, lets put 'em in the hallway. Give 'em some chairs. Right? Decisiveness. One of the keys to success according to Small Businessman.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1612

I do. I read Small Business man. I also uh, subscribe to USA Today and American Way Magazine, that's the in-flight magazine. Some great articles in that. They did this great profile last month of Doris Roberts and where she likes to eat when she's in Phoenix. Illuminating.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1613

This is my conference room. So please, uh, make yourself at home. Whatever you need, I'm right on the other side of this wall. used to be a window here. There's not anymore. So, that's where I will be.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1614

So if you need anything else, something to make you more confortable just don't hesitate to ask. I'm right here.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1615

Wait a second. I should have spotted another addict. Uh, gotta love the 'bucks.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1617

It's like a slang for Starbucks. They're all over the place. Oh, man, that place is like the promised land to me. What a business model too. Ah, too bad we don't have the good stuff here.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1619

Nah, it's not. it's spppplllibbb

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1621

No, here's the thing. Y'know I do my best to be my own man and go by the beat of a different drummer and nobody gets me, and they're always putting up walls and I'm always tearing 'em down, just breakin' down barriers, that's what I do all day. So a coffee, regular coffee for you. High test, or unleaded?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1623

Oh. Woo, I will. I will bring it on. Ah, all right.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1625

There ya go. Nice steaming cup o'joe.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1633

I have an idea. Why don't I introduce you around, you know you can kind of get your foot in the door, meet potential clientele, right?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1635

Oh, um, well, we could have Ryan take a look. Ryan, would you look after the purses, please?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1637

Yeah, well, bladdy-bluda-blah-blah. Techno-babble. Just do it, okay. We have company. Right?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1639

You should sell a lot here because this branch made over a million dollars last year. Not that we're all millionaires. I'm probably closest. So here's Oscar. Oscar, this is Katy.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1640

Oooh-ooh. Oscar the grouch. Right? I thought of that.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1642

I know. I know. I made the connection. Can you believe he'd never heard that before he worked here?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1644

I know, it's unbelievable.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1646

Here is Toby from Human Resources. Katy, Toby.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1648

Toby, Katy.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1651

Toby's divorced. He uh, guh recently, right?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1657

You and your wife, and you have kids.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1659

Oh that so - that was really messy. He slept one night in your car too?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1661

Okay. Alright. Cool. See ya in a bit. Oh, she's cute. Cutie-pie. Back to work.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1664

I live by one rule. No office romances. No way. Very messy. Inappropriate. No. But, I live by another rule: Just do it. Nike.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1665

Giggle-giggle, juji-juji, I get it, I get it. Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood over here right? So how's that uh, coffee from earlier?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1723

Ah, I knew it. Guzzled it down. You greedy little thing. So, uh, Pam is this your lunch break, or was that earlier when you were eating in the kitchen with those guys?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1725

Busted.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1727

Oh hey, I want to show you something. Come here I want to show you something. I know you are going to like this. Picked it up today. A thousand big ones.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1729

Yes. This is a Starbucks digital barista. This is the mack daddy of espresso makers.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1731

Oh, I know what you're thinking. You're not prying this out of my hands, but don't tempt me because I'll give it to you!

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1733

Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office. It's a drug. It is quite literally a drug that speeds people up. It's not the only drug that speeds people up. You hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the eighties before everybody knew how bad cocaine was. Guh. Man, did they move paper!

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1735

Oh the rotating um, steam wand. What? What's the matter?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1736

Oh, oh! God. I'm sorry. Is there...?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1738

Where you going? Nearby? Because I can give you a ride.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1740

Seriously. No, really.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1742

God! No, no, no, no. No inconvenience. I mean I'm out of here at five sharp.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1744

I can go earlier. 'Cause I'm the boss. You know, whatever. I'm out of here slaves.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1746

What?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1748

Okay. Sounds good. Sounds good. Five o'clock sharp. I will give you and your purses a ride home.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1750

Excellent.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1752

Great. Cool. Cool. Yeah, okay.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1754

I should have never let the Temp touch this thing. I had all these great icons and now I have four folders. So..

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1755

No it's not. Because I could just click on the icon and then I'm onto---

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1757

No, no, no it's not against the rules. She's not a permanent employee so it's not.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1759

But I think you should just know that I am going to be giving her a ride home later.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1761

She asked me for a ride and so I am going to give her a ride home.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1763

Well, might be a ride home. Might be a ride home and we stop for coffee and dot-dot-dot...

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1765

No. I cannot promise you that.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1767

Listen, Dwight.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1769

Dwight, no. I don't know. It's too early to tell. I don't know how I feel.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1771

Espresso?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1774

You're welcome. Thank you. Hmmm-hmm-hmm.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1776

Ummm-hmmm...

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1778

Very easy to clean.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1780

Okay. Like he's going to win anyway, right?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1781

Did we get any mail?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1782

Yes you did. Yes, you did. Just checkin'. Just checkin', double checkin', checkin' on the check. Thoroughness is very important in an office and...

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1784

Yeah, yeah, of course. Uh, Pam, one more thing. Um, how do girls your age feel about futons?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1786

Ryan.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1824

Would you like to help me with a special project?

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1826

Alright.

Season 1 · Episode 6 · Quote 1828

Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 6)