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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 6)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 6 of 122

  1. Pac-man

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1516

  2. I'm not your lover! I'm am not Michael Scott, I am Dr. Bergerstein. Your proctologist.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1518

  3. Ah, yes. Ah.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1520

  4. It's not a Jewish joke, so don't worry.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1522

  5. No, hey, hey , hey. You know what I just wanted to remind you about the game today. One 'o clock. Big game, big game.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1524

  6. Mmm. No, you said you could man. We're counting on ya. You know you're playing point guard.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1526

  7. No. Hey... I mean, although it's just for fun, you know we want... I was counting on you man.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1528

  8. I... I think you can play. Like you could when you were a kid. I think you can never give up the play. Because if people stop playing, then they stop living. It's like a shark. If a shark stops playing he stops living. And sharks are very playful creatures.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1545

  9. You know what. I think most basketball movies are great movies. Because it's a great subject. There's one about a little kid who, um, joins a professional basketball team and he's really, really good and he can dunk and he's like 3 feet tall. And he can dunk the ball. That, oh, I love that movie. That movie kind of, that movie makes me cry. I don't like to cry on camera, but that movie makes me cry. Um, because it touches a cord in me about hoops. Short, short, short! And basketball is like jazz, you know. To like pertipify it there's a jazz musician, a guy, you know... if you know jazz you know who I mean. He's uh, God what was his name? Um, he plays one of those curly horns, like those really shiny curly horns that's used in jazz a lot.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1550

  10. Birdie. He's not the guy with the cheeks. Kenny G. Is... if you knew jazz, you'd know who I mean. Kenny G. God. Glad I remembered that. Jazz people know who he is.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1554

  11. Dwight, pass it to Jim! Pass it to Ryan!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1555

  12. Stanley, gotta play hurt.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1557

  13. I just want you know, you've been a big disappointment to me today, okay.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1559

  14. I'm in. I'm in. Here we go. Zone, Phyllis! We're playing zone!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1561

  15. Yes! Yes! All right. We got game!

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1563

  16. Affirmative.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1565

  17. You just said, let me uh... check my notes. You just said...

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1567

  18. Hey, hey how is Alan? Tell Alan that the Mets suck! Okay? From me, big time. Go Pirates!

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1569

  19. Okay

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1571

  20. Uh, huh.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1573

  21. Whoa. Howdy-ho. Wow, a thousand big ones. That's cool. Do I uh, do I get to pick the prize?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1575

  22. Um, question: Does top salesman include uh, people who were at one time such outstanding salesman that've been promoted to...

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1577

  23. I didn't mean me!

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1579

  24. Well, first what we have to do is find out what motivates people more than anything else.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1580

  25. It's illegal. Can't do that. Next best thing.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1582

  26. Tah, come on Dwight. Just help me out here. That's just stupid.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1584

  27. Pam!

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1586

  28. Burger with cheese!

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1588

  29. And fries!

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1590

  30. And shake! What? Go ahead.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1592

  31. No, no, no. No vendors in the office. That is a distraction.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1594

  32. Pam. Pam. Come on, I'm busy. So just tell her to go away.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1596

  33. Oooh, alright I'll talk to her.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1598

  34. All right girls break it up, you're being infiltrated. Cock in the henhouse.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1600

  35. Don't say cocks. Oh, what is your name, my fair lass?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1602

  36. Ah, Katy. Wow. Look at you. You are, uh you're like the new and improved Pam. Pam 6.0.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1604

  37. Oh, look. Oh hey, no catfights you two. I'm against violence in the workplace.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1605

  38. Nobody cares what you think.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1607

  39. So uh, you know what? I usually don't allow solicitors in the office but today I am going to break some rules, and you can have the conference room. It's yours. All day.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1609

  40. Well, lets put 'em in the hallway. Give 'em some chairs. Right? Decisiveness. One of the keys to success according to Small Businessman.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1612

  41. I do. I read Small Business man. I also uh, subscribe to USA Today and American Way Magazine, that's the in-flight magazine. Some great articles in that. They did this great profile last month of Doris Roberts and where she likes to eat when she's in Phoenix. Illuminating.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1613

  42. This is my conference room. So please, uh, make yourself at home. Whatever you need, I'm right on the other side of this wall. used to be a window here. There's not anymore. So, that's where I will be.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1614

  43. So if you need anything else, something to make you more confortable just don't hesitate to ask. I'm right here.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1615

  44. Wait a second. I should have spotted another addict. Uh, gotta love the 'bucks.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1617

  45. It's like a slang for Starbucks. They're all over the place. Oh, man, that place is like the promised land to me. What a business model too. Ah, too bad we don't have the good stuff here.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1619

  46. Nah, it's not. it's spppplllibbb

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1621

  47. No, here's the thing. Y'know I do my best to be my own man and go by the beat of a different drummer and nobody gets me, and they're always putting up walls and I'm always tearing 'em down, just breakin' down barriers, that's what I do all day. So a coffee, regular coffee for you. High test, or unleaded?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1623

  48. Oh. Woo, I will. I will bring it on. Ah, all right.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1625

  49. There ya go. Nice steaming cup o'joe.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1633

  50. I have an idea. Why don't I introduce you around, you know you can kind of get your foot in the door, meet potential clientele, right?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1635

  51. Oh, um, well, we could have Ryan take a look. Ryan, would you look after the purses, please?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1637

  52. Yeah, well, bladdy-bluda-blah-blah. Techno-babble. Just do it, okay. We have company. Right?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1639

  53. You should sell a lot here because this branch made over a million dollars last year. Not that we're all millionaires. I'm probably closest. So here's Oscar. Oscar, this is Katy.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1640

  54. Oooh-ooh. Oscar the grouch. Right? I thought of that.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1642

  55. I know. I know. I made the connection. Can you believe he'd never heard that before he worked here?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1644

  56. I know, it's unbelievable.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1646

  57. Here is Toby from Human Resources. Katy, Toby.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1648

  58. Toby, Katy.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1651

  59. Toby's divorced. He uh, guh recently, right?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1657

  60. You and your wife, and you have kids.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1659

  61. Oh that so - that was really messy. He slept one night in your car too?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1661

  62. Okay. Alright. Cool. See ya in a bit. Oh, she's cute. Cutie-pie. Back to work.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1664

  63. I live by one rule. No office romances. No way. Very messy. Inappropriate. No. But, I live by another rule: Just do it. Nike.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1665

  64. Giggle-giggle, juji-juji, I get it, I get it. Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood over here right? So how's that uh, coffee from earlier?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1723

  65. Ah, I knew it. Guzzled it down. You greedy little thing. So, uh, Pam is this your lunch break, or was that earlier when you were eating in the kitchen with those guys?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1725

  66. Busted.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1727

  67. Oh hey, I want to show you something. Come here I want to show you something. I know you are going to like this. Picked it up today. A thousand big ones.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1729

  68. Yes. This is a Starbucks digital barista. This is the mack daddy of espresso makers.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1731

  69. Oh, I know what you're thinking. You're not prying this out of my hands, but don't tempt me because I'll give it to you!

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1733

  70. Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office. It's a drug. It is quite literally a drug that speeds people up. It's not the only drug that speeds people up. You hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the eighties before everybody knew how bad cocaine was. Guh. Man, did they move paper!

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1735

  71. Oh the rotating um, steam wand. What? What's the matter?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1736

  72. Oh, oh! God. I'm sorry. Is there...?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1738

  73. Where you going? Nearby? Because I can give you a ride.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1740

  74. Seriously. No, really.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1742

  75. God! No, no, no, no. No inconvenience. I mean I'm out of here at five sharp.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1744

  76. I can go earlier. 'Cause I'm the boss. You know, whatever. I'm out of here slaves.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1746

  77. What?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1748

  78. Okay. Sounds good. Sounds good. Five o'clock sharp. I will give you and your purses a ride home.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1750

  79. Excellent.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1752

  80. Great. Cool. Cool. Yeah, okay.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1754

  81. I should have never let the Temp touch this thing. I had all these great icons and now I have four folders. So..

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1755

  82. No it's not. Because I could just click on the icon and then I'm onto---

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1757

  83. No, no, no it's not against the rules. She's not a permanent employee so it's not.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1759

  84. But I think you should just know that I am going to be giving her a ride home later.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1761

  85. She asked me for a ride and so I am going to give her a ride home.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1763

  86. Well, might be a ride home. Might be a ride home and we stop for coffee and dot-dot-dot...

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1765

  87. No. I cannot promise you that.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1767

  88. Listen, Dwight.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1769

  89. Dwight, no. I don't know. It's too early to tell. I don't know how I feel.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1771

  90. Espresso?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1774

  91. You're welcome. Thank you. Hmmm-hmm-hmm.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1776

  92. Ummm-hmmm...

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1778

  93. Very easy to clean.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1780

  94. Okay. Like he's going to win anyway, right?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1781

  95. Did we get any mail?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1782

  96. Yes you did. Yes, you did. Just checkin'. Just checkin', double checkin', checkin' on the check. Thoroughness is very important in an office and...

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1784

  97. Yeah, yeah, of course. Uh, Pam, one more thing. Um, how do girls your age feel about futons?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1786

  98. Ryan.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1824

  99. Would you like to help me with a special project?

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1826

  100. Alright.

    Season 1 · Episode 6 · Line 1828