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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 65)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 65 of 122

  1. Hey, there! Michael Scott, regional manager, Dunder Mifflin.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21934

  2. That is a very firm handshake. Ow, ow, aahch! Killing my hand, there.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21936

  3. So, what is your poison? You like uh, sales, accounting, customer service, what do you like...

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21938

  4. Sales is and could be very, very cool. If you like paper, and you love to laugh, this is the place for you.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21940

  5. Right here. We have a lot of fun.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21942

  6. This is one of our staff. This is Pam Beesly, receptionist extraordinaire.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21944

  7. Check that out, huh?

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21946

  8. Pretty nice.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21948

  9. She sits there all day.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21950

  10. You get to look at her. Why don't you hold out your hand. Tell me what you feel.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21952

  11. That's called card stock. That's what you're feeling. Now what you're feeling inside is confusion, butterflies, exhilaration... You're thinking, 'Am I good enough for this job? Do I have what it takes?' And I think we both know the answer. We'll find that out together. You can keep that.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21954

  12. Mmm, yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21956

  13. Don't fold it, though.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21958

  14. We have the Dundies, my birthday, those blow out, and it's sexy, it's sort of a sexy atmosphere, you know? The other day, in the parking lot, I actually found a condom. So. I've been meaning to ask you, do you know whose that was? So, sexy is fun...

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21959

  15. Hey, you know what? Coincidence - I am going to go for a little stroll myself. Are you psyched about the summer?

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21961

  16. Yeah, me, too.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21963

  17. Okay, be my guest.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21965

  18. And do your worst.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21967

  19. Hey.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21968

  20. So, I forgot to mention that my old temp is now my boss, so, gives you an idea of how quickly you can move up in this...

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21970

  21. One other thing I wanted to...

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21972

  22. Ohh...Nah.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21974

  23. Hey, Justin!

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21982

  24. Wait, you want this kid to be in the Air Force?

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21984

  25. Time out. You think this kid could be a fighter pilot?

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21986

  26. Okay.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21989

  27. Have you given any more thought to Dunder Mifflin?

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21990

  28. Well, yeah, but you don't need the brochure. The brochure is up here and it's in here.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21992

  29. I think you are smart, and capable, and you aim high.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21994

  30. I'm right.

    Season 4 · Episode 13 · Line 21996

  31. Today is Toby Flenderson's last day. I couldn't sleep last night. I came extra-early. So much energy... There are certain days you know you know you will remember for the rest of your life, and I just have a feeling that today is one of those days.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22026

  32. Mornin'. So here we go, just a matter of hours now, until his horribleness has left the building. I'm going to set my watch alarm... And...

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22028

  33. First thing on the agenda-actually, the only thing on the agenda, is the status of Toby's going away party.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22033

  34. Okay.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22035

  35. Okay, well, this will not do. Toby is going away forever, and uh, we need to do something very very special. In some cultures, when somebody leaves, like New Orleans culture, they have a parade and they have a band and people party in the streets...

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22037

  36. If the Devil were to explode, and evil were gone forever, what sort of party would you have?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22039

  37. Like a beach blowout? Or a toga, toga-

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22041

  38. Toga!

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22043

  39. I thought that you might say that.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22045

  40. Every year, my sweet, sweet grandmother sends me a check on my birthday for fifty dollars. And lately, she has been sending me, like nine or ten checks a year... uh, as Nana starts to... but, I knew I should be saving it for something, I just didn't know what I should be saving it for. And then I had an awakening. 'Michael, buy a motorcycle.' So I put the money in my shoe, and then I forgot about it until now.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22046

  41. I want a party that makes me feel like I am flying through the air without this... ugly weight holding me down, you know?... I want an antigravity machine. I saw it in a movie. You drink a potion, and then you just start floating all around.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22047

  42. Phyllis, can you do this?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22050

  43. Toby's replacement. Ugh. Wow.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22075

  44. Well, we know that Toby thinks she'll be great. So, strike one, I hate her already.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22077

  45. Why do you hate her?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22079

  46. You know, Dwight, sometimes... I don't know, I think you say things just to agree with me.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22081

  47. Yeah! It would! Just have a thought. Have an original thought. Although, I will agree that her head is weird. You know what we need to do?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22083

  48. We need to sell her an elevator pass.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22085

  49. Exactly. A little old-fashioned hazing.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22087

  50. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22095

  51. Oh, hey, do you still work here?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22097

  52. Nah.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22099

  53. No. I think I will pass.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22101

  54. Hi. Yeah. Right. Okay, well, they hired a female Toby. Good for the world. Thank you, God, for creating two of you. Here's how things work here: my job is to make the office fun. Your job is to make the office lame. And we have an eternal struggle, you and I. And only one of us can be the winner. Spoiler alert: I'm gonna win.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22104

  55. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22106

  56. T-No. He tortured me... with his awfulness.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22109

  57. Y-You can-Michael.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22111

  58. Thanks to Toby, I have a very strong prejudice against Human Resources. I believe that the department is a breeding ground for monsters. What I failed to consider though, is that not all monsters are bad. Like E.T. Is Holly our extraterrestrial? Maybe. Or maybe she's just an awesome woman from this planet.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22112

  59. Here she is! Holly... You know, if we hung Holly from the ceiling, we'd have to kiss underneath of her. So-I know. Oh, sorry. Question, are you real, or are you a Hollygram?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22136

  60. I bet.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22138

  61. I bet. Are these guys boring your ears off?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22140

  62. Oh... What, um, what is your commute like? How long does it take to get in?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22142

  63. You know, I should make you a mix. Do you have a, uh, a CD player?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22144

  64. All right.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22146

  65. Yep.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22148

  66. Hmm... Jim? I am downloading some N3P...

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22169

  67. Music...

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22171

  68. For a CD mix tape...

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22173

  69. For Holly.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22175

  70. And I'm looking for perfect songs that work on two levels.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22177

  71. The two levels being, uh, 'Welcome to Scranton'...

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22179

  72. And 'I... love you.'

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22181

  73. Hey, what's the group that was from Scranton that made it big? Was that U2?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22183

  74. I think I do.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22185

  75. Well, it was love at first sight. Actually, it was-no, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22187

  76. Well, you're not a romantic.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22189

  77. Oh really?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22191

  78. Like, with who?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22193

  79. Pam?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22195

  80. Yeah, you took it too slow.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22197

  81. This thing with Holly feels a lot like love to me.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22199

  82. I don't want her to get away.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22201

  83. Hello, Holly. Woah, what are you doing? You don't, uh, you don't have to do that. I mean, we have already put-together chairs. That's how we buy them actually.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22222

  84. And the sequel, 'Woman Stands at Desk and Works.' So, I have no idea how you, how you sit like that.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22224

  85. Sit on floor and put together chair we will. Yo-da. Um...

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22226

  86. So are you in down this weekend? Cause, I'm not-I'm not... I'm not gonna be in town. I'm going out of town.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22228

  87. Kidding. Acting!

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22230

  88. Acting!

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22232

  89. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22234

  90. I did it!

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22235

  91. I talked to her-Holly. Just pleasantries, nothing, you know... not like, do you want kids or, religion, or what side of the bed do you want. Hey, I can take either side of the bed at this point.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22237

  92. It was hard. I wanted to kiss her.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22239

  93. Whew, oh God. Laying a base. Laying a base...

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22241

  94. Yeah...

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22243

  95. Oh, there he is. Thought you had gone home already. Why don't you go home, and come back for the party?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22252

  96. Yes we do.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22254

  97. I'll let you in on a little secret: I've been very much looking forward to this moment. Very, very much. I-I have been steeped in anticipation. Toby has been cruisin' for a bruisin' for twelve years, and I am now his cruise director, and my name is Captain Bruisin'.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22255

  98. Can I just say that, of all the idiots, in all the idiot villages, in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22257

  99. Hey! Hi, good to see you.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22259

  100. I'm just having a little exit interview.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22261