Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.
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Ugh.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20923
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Is who a Michael what?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20925
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Oh, that's not, yeah I'm not... OK...
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20927
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So you get the rent checks every month and what happens next? What...
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20929
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Just making conversation.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20931
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Why is it so hard to meet people? I... you know... it's uh... All I want is somebody nice and sweet and someone I can talk to and share an experience with, you know? Why is it so hard for people like us?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20932
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You wanna see what I walked out on? This is gonna blow your mind. Look at that.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20934
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Yeah. Yeah, and you can't see her whole body. Down here, she's got a boob job. Just... she was just crazy smart and really manipulative and I don't know.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20936
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Oh, OK. Well, umm... I enjoyed this conversation. It was very nice. It was like talking to the sweet old lady on the bus.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20939
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Now you ruined it.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20941
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Margaret the land lady? Really Pam, is that what you think of me?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20958
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Oh, OK, Well I'm looking for a passionate affair, not companionship. I'm a man... of intensity, of, of cool and youth and, and passionately. God...[walks away back to his office]
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20960
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I don't know man. I was with Jan for so long. I was excited about meeting somebody new. Put my heart out there. It's just...
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20982
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You're right. What do you mean though?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20984
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Hmm.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20986
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How did she die?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20996
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God.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 20998
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She was so innocent.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21000
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You know I used to think that I had this perfect person out there waiting for me, but knowing that, that's just silly because she's dead. What do you do?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21002
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Oh, you move on.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21004
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Bye, bye, Ms. Chair Model lady. I dreamt that we were married and you treated me nice. We had lots of kids...drinking whiskey and rye, oh why'd you have to go off and die? Why'd you have to go off and die?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21014
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Return.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21016
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This'll be the day that I died.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21018
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It is moving day. I have spent the last month here at Dwight's lovely farm, taking a little bit of a vacation, clearing my head after Jan and I, um ssp... No, I did not kill her. We were just at different places in our lives. No, I thought I'd be the bigger man and allow her to stay at the condo. She has since moved on; she is staying with her sister in Scottsdale. Fresh outlook, and it's all good.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21019
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Oh. What is this?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21021
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You were charging me? I'm your friend.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21023
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There was no other guest the entire time I was here.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21025
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Okay. All right, Dwight. Take my money. Go ahead. Keep in mind that this whole thing was just a business transaction. The late nights, the talks, the slumber parties, the crying jags, that was all business, that had nothing to do with friendship, and being friends. Just ring me up. Go ahead.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21027
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Thank you, Dwight.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21028
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Dwight, little help with the bags, please.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21030
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So, what about you, Angela? Do you have any single friends?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21031
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A cute little religious type, someone who wears a uniform, or...
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21033
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No, no, obviously older.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21035
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Love. Marriage. Baby carriage. Those have been my goals ever since I heard that song. Jan and I had love. We did not have marriage. We did have a baby carriage, which I got her for bringing groceries home, after she got a DUI.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21037
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Hey, Kelly.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21039
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Nothing. Just hangin'. Chillin'. No agenda. Would you consider hookin' me up with one of your friends?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21041
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Yeah?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21043
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That's hilarious. What's her number?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21045
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Mmm... nah, that's too young.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21047
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Oh.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21049
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All right, time's up! Pencils down. Please pass your future Mrs. Michael Scotts forward.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21051
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Pammy?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21053
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You don't have one single girlfriend?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21055
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I'm not looking for a perfect 10 here, just somebody to hang out with. Just fun, healthy young woman.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21057
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A kindergarten teacher, who is great with kids, maybe an ex-model, and now she wants to do something with her brain?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21059
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How 'bout a professional volleyball player who models on the side?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21061
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You know, just a fun, guh, look, there, here, it doesn't have to be a model. I'm not, don't rule out model, but just in terms of models, there are like twenty different categories. There's face models, hand models, body models - yes.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21063
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Really?
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21065
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No, I am, it's all about the personality, Jim.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21067
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Send me a picture.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21073
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So far, these are my leads. A blind tollbooth operator and a twelve hundred pound catcher. It's a start.
Season 4 · Episode 10 · Quote 21074
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I got gum in my hair.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21076
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This just stinks. Don't touch it, please don't touch it.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21078
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OK, let me be.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21080
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I was walking in and I noticed something shinny under Stanley's car and I got under to see what it was and I messed up my hair, all for a stupid piece of tinfoil.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21082
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Kill me... right now.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21084
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I don't feel like peanut butter. Get me an ice cream sandwich.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21086
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Hey, hey, hey. This is my hair we're talking about.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21089
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Smells good.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21090
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Oh don't. That's disgusting.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21092
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Well just don't leave it on too long. Keep massaging please. Ah yeah, that's nice.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21094
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[sighs]
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21096
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I will be honest; the dating has not been going well. Look, men are visual creatures. We crave beauty, like a piece of fine art by any number of renowned artists, or an arty photograph of Cindy Crawford nude... that, but the women I'm getting fixed up with are, egh! Not that they aren't nice, or that have great personalities, they just... They just lack a certain... Crawfordness.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21097
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Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention please. I know that a lot of you are very angry with Ryan because he is the reason we all have to come in tomorrow, however, I swear to God, If any of you hurts him in any way emotionally or taunts him or makes fun of his height or his half beard or...
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21112
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Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21114
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Ryan has done a very good job, and I am not applauding sarcastically. Think about it, a month ago nobody would go on this site because we were worried about getting molested, or losing our identity, having it stolen. But now, at a time TDB, all of the problems will be in the past. Ya done good kid, ya done good.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21135
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Well it has been nice seeing you again my friend.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21136
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Oh Ryan, I need a girlfriend so bad.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21138
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Argh. Alright. Do you know any girls in New York you might want to hook me up with? Some that might be interested in a guy like me.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21140
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Na?
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21142
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Well you tried.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21144
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Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21146
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They sound great.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21148
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Would you have sex with Meredith?
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21150
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Do you think she'd keep it quiet?
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21152
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Jim, it's not the horniness, ok it's the loneliness that...
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21154
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Let's go to New York. We'll go clubbing with Ryan.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21156
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Yes you can, you're single, I'm single. It'll be awesome.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21158
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Who you dating?
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21160
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That's still going on?
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21162
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Ok, Dwight grab your stuff, we're going to New York to party with Ryan and to meet girls.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21163
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Sorry Andy. Cannot take any chances on curses, not tonight. Let's go. Everybody, I will see you tomorrow, Saturday morning, probably wearing the same clothes that I am wearing right now, If you catch my drift.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21168
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I am going to go get laid. Goodbye.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21170
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That's... I, I think that...
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21172
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Ryan's assistant told us that he would be at this club this evening. It is called Prerogative.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21175
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Place is packed.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21176
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Packed with beautiful babies. Swingers. Classic. John Favreau, tall guy from DodgeBall.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21178
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No, they're just hotties.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21180
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Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21182
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Hey!
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21184
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Well you know, just taking you up on your offer to party, so tada.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21186
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Alright!
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21188
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Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21190
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Ryan, it's Michael and Dwight.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21192
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Ok.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21194
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Well.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21196
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Alright!
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21198
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Let's do it!
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21200
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Hey, nice to meet you.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21210
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Oh ok, all I know is I would like some chicken fingers and a Midori Sour.
Season 4 · Episode 11 · Quote 21216