Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 62)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 62 of 122

1. Ugh.

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2. Is who a Michael what?

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3. Oh, that's not, yeah I'm not... OK...

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4. So you get the rent checks every month and what happens next? What...

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5. Just making conversation.

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6. Why is it so hard to meet people? I... you know... it's uh... All I want is somebody nice and sweet and someone I can talk to and share an experience with, you know? Why is it so hard for people like us?

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7. You wanna see what I walked out on? This is gonna blow your mind. Look at that.

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8. Yeah. Yeah, and you can't see her whole body. Down here, she's got a boob job. Just... she was just crazy smart and really manipulative and I don't know.

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9. Oh, OK. Well, umm... I enjoyed this conversation. It was very nice. It was like talking to the sweet old lady on the bus.

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10. Now you ruined it.

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11. Margaret the land lady? Really Pam, is that what you think of me?

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12. Oh, OK, Well I'm looking for a passionate affair, not companionship. I'm a man... of intensity, of, of cool and youth and, and passionately. God...[walks away back to his office]

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13. I don't know man. I was with Jan for so long. I was excited about meeting somebody new. Put my heart out there. It's just...

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14. You're right. What do you mean though?

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15. Hmm.

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16. How did she die?

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17. God.

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18. She was so innocent.

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19. You know I used to think that I had this perfect person out there waiting for me, but knowing that, that's just silly because she's dead. What do you do?

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20. Oh, you move on.

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21. Bye, bye, Ms. Chair Model lady. I dreamt that we were married and you treated me nice. We had lots of kids...drinking whiskey and rye, oh why'd you have to go off and die? Why'd you have to go off and die?

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22. Return.

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23. This'll be the day that I died.

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24. It is moving day. I have spent the last month here at Dwight's lovely farm, taking a little bit of a vacation, clearing my head after Jan and I, um ssp... No, I did not kill her. We were just at different places in our lives. No, I thought I'd be the bigger man and allow her to stay at the condo. She has since moved on; she is staying with her sister in Scottsdale. Fresh outlook, and it's all good.

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25. Oh. What is this?

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26. You were charging me? I'm your friend.

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27. There was no other guest the entire time I was here.

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28. Okay. All right, Dwight. Take my money. Go ahead. Keep in mind that this whole thing was just a business transaction. The late nights, the talks, the slumber parties, the crying jags, that was all business, that had nothing to do with friendship, and being friends. Just ring me up. Go ahead.

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29. Thank you, Dwight.

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30. Dwight, little help with the bags, please.

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31. So, what about you, Angela? Do you have any single friends?

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32. A cute little religious type, someone who wears a uniform, or...

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33. No, no, obviously older.

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34. Love. Marriage. Baby carriage. Those have been my goals ever since I heard that song. Jan and I had love. We did not have marriage. We did have a baby carriage, which I got her for bringing groceries home, after she got a DUI.

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35. Hey, Kelly.

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36. Nothing. Just hangin'. Chillin'. No agenda. Would you consider hookin' me up with one of your friends?

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37. Yeah?

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38. That's hilarious. What's her number?

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39. Mmm... nah, that's too young.

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40. Oh.

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41. All right, time's up! Pencils down. Please pass your future Mrs. Michael Scotts forward.

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42. Pammy?

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43. You don't have one single girlfriend?

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44. I'm not looking for a perfect 10 here, just somebody to hang out with. Just fun, healthy young woman.

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45. A kindergarten teacher, who is great with kids, maybe an ex-model, and now she wants to do something with her brain?

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46. How 'bout a professional volleyball player who models on the side?

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47. You know, just a fun, guh, look, there, here, it doesn't have to be a model. I'm not, don't rule out model, but just in terms of models, there are like twenty different categories. There's face models, hand models, body models - yes.

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48. Really?

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49. No, I am, it's all about the personality, Jim.

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50. Send me a picture.

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51. So far, these are my leads. A blind tollbooth operator and a twelve hundred pound catcher. It's a start.

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52. I got gum in my hair.

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53. This just stinks. Don't touch it, please don't touch it.

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54. OK, let me be.

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55. I was walking in and I noticed something shinny under Stanley's car and I got under to see what it was and I messed up my hair, all for a stupid piece of tinfoil.

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56. Kill me... right now.

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57. I don't feel like peanut butter. Get me an ice cream sandwich.

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58. Hey, hey, hey. This is my hair we're talking about.

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59. Smells good.

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60. Oh don't. That's disgusting.

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61. Well just don't leave it on too long. Keep massaging please. Ah yeah, that's nice.

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62. [sighs]

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63. I will be honest; the dating has not been going well. Look, men are visual creatures. We crave beauty, like a piece of fine art by any number of renowned artists, or an arty photograph of Cindy Crawford nude... that, but the women I'm getting fixed up with are, egh! Not that they aren't nice, or that have great personalities, they just... They just lack a certain... Crawfordness.

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64. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention please. I know that a lot of you are very angry with Ryan because he is the reason we all have to come in tomorrow, however, I swear to God, If any of you hurts him in any way emotionally or taunts him or makes fun of his height or his half beard or...

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65. Yeah.

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66. Ryan has done a very good job, and I am not applauding sarcastically. Think about it, a month ago nobody would go on this site because we were worried about getting molested, or losing our identity, having it stolen. But now, at a time TDB, all of the problems will be in the past. Ya done good kid, ya done good.

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Line 21135

67. Well it has been nice seeing you again my friend.

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68. Oh Ryan, I need a girlfriend so bad.

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69. Argh. Alright. Do you know any girls in New York you might want to hook me up with? Some that might be interested in a guy like me.

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70. Na?

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71. Well you tried.

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72. Yeah.

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73. They sound great.

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74. Would you have sex with Meredith?

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75. Do you think she'd keep it quiet?

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76. Jim, it's not the horniness, ok it's the loneliness that...

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77. Let's go to New York. We'll go clubbing with Ryan.

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78. Yes you can, you're single, I'm single. It'll be awesome.

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79. Who you dating?

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80. That's still going on?

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81. Ok, Dwight grab your stuff, we're going to New York to party with Ryan and to meet girls.

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82. Sorry Andy. Cannot take any chances on curses, not tonight. Let's go. Everybody, I will see you tomorrow, Saturday morning, probably wearing the same clothes that I am wearing right now, If you catch my drift.

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83. I am going to go get laid. Goodbye.

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84. That's... I, I think that...

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85. Ryan's assistant told us that he would be at this club this evening. It is called Prerogative.

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86. Place is packed.

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87. Packed with beautiful babies. Swingers. Classic. John Favreau, tall guy from DodgeBall.

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88. No, they're just hotties.

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89. Hey.

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90. Hey!

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91. Well you know, just taking you up on your offer to party, so tada.

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92. Alright!

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Line 21188

93. Yeah.

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94. Ryan, it's Michael and Dwight.

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95. Ok.

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Line 21194

96. Well.

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97. Alright!

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Line 21198

98. Let's do it!

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Line 21200

99. Hey, nice to meet you.

    Season 4 · Episode 11 · Line 21210

100. Oh ok, all I know is I would like some chicken fingers and a Midori Sour.

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