Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 63)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 63 of 122

1. Oh ok, then just bring me two cups, one with olives and another filled with maraschino cherries.

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2. I umm, thought about getting a tattoo on my back as well at one point. I was thinking about getting 'Back to the Future.' 'Back' because it's on my back and 'Future' because I'm the kind of guy who likes to look ahead into the future. I just think a tattoo should mean something, you know? And it's my second favorite movie.

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3. Back to the Future? Oh, wow. Well you should take a, a film education course.

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4. Forty... I'm in my forties.

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5. Nuhh...

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6. Oh, OK.

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7. You are welcome.

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8. This place is like sexy pre-school.

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9. I would love a place where we could meet older

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10. Ahh, wow. That's dangerous.

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11. You're kidding.

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12. I've never met anyone who does that. You wash dogs? Very cool.

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13. I am a bank teller.

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14. Ryan told me to always tell women you work in finance.

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15. I think so.

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16. Yeah, I have fun.

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17. All right.

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18. Very perfect. Oh my This needs to be shared.

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19. She washes dogs.

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20. I know. I don't wanna get ahead of myself, but I think I want her to meet my mom.

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21. Yeah, maybe.

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22. Hmm...

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23. I am. I am getting out there. Well, no I've asked a lot of girls to dance mom. They're just, it's not... Yes, I shaved above my neck. Oh my God, mom, I gotta go. One of my friends is getting beaten up by some girls.

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24. Those girls really wailed on you bad.

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25. Well...

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26. Pretty weird.

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27. Let's go.

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28. I know, here we go.

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29. This is it.

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30. This is where the magic happens.

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31. Very nice.

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32. Dwight, I'm the boss.

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33. Case anyone needs to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I don't wannna get my head stepped on.

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34. Dwight, shh shh. Dwight. Leave him alone.

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35. Shh. Ryan, Ryan, we're going to take your clothes off.

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36. Shh, just stop. Here's what you do. You tell him that you're his friend and that you're gonna help him and that everyone's gonna be all right. And then you put a wire on him and you find out who's selling him drugs and then you get that guy and you flip up, turn him into a snitch. You follow that guy to the people who's really really bad. Been watching The Wire recently. I don't understand a word of it.

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37. Best night ever.

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38. Like I said, it's not about the horniness, it's about the loneliness. And how can I be lonely with my boys? Like a famous person once said, Boys on the side. But I don't, I disagree, I say... let's hear it for the boys.

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39. You're gonna be okay, it's gonna...

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40. Ahh, ooh!

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41. Come on, come on.

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42. Here we go, let's sit down.

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43. All right, shhh. Dwight, leave him alone.

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44. You had a rough night tonight. But your life is very good, my friend. You've got a great job, you... you can have any woman you want, you're good looking, you, you know...

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45. Frien..sss...yes, you're friends with a hobbit, and... look where you live. I mean, you've got it all.

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46. No, I mean this apartment building, it's fantastic.

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47. Well, now I can say that I went to a museum.

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48. Ryan?

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49. Do you ever miss us?

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50. Ryan?

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51. Do you remember what color my eyes are?

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52. Dwight, I asked him.

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53. Really?

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54. Not just because he said it?

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55. Ryan?

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56. Everybody! Everybody! Listen up, I need your ideas, now! Ideas please, right now! Go! Go! Come on!

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57. Wet cement, outside. It's drying fast, come on. This is a lifelong dream. What do I write? What do I write?

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58. M.G.S.? No. Some idiot named Mark Greg Sputnik will claim credit for it. I don't...

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59. Once in a lifetime opportunity people! Come on, here we go!

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60. Here we go!

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61. Let's, yes?

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62. Okay... Okay, do it! Go on! Great! Let's hear it!

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63. It's drying, it's drying...

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64. Alright, hablbelah, come on, Phyl!

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65. Ahh come on!

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66. No!

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67. No!

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68. No!! Come on, gimme something good!

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69. Pam, translate.

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70. I love it!

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71. I love it more!

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72. I... love it!! Haha, come on!

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73. Hurry, please.

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74. That's what she said.

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75. Today is a very special day for me. And it's really not about me, it's about my grandkids, it's about my great grandkids... I can come back here when I'm 100, and I can find that piece of cement and say, 'That's me. Look kids, your daddy left that face hole...' I dunno, it's a good feeling.

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76. All right, everybody... Oh my God, Pam, those make you look so ugly. Um, Pam, in order to get hotter, you take the glasses off. You're moving in the wrong direction...

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77. Ub, dub dah, don't need, I can't even hear you. It's just noise coming out of an ugly scientist. Um, everybody, we're going to have a little brainstorming session in the conference room.

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78. Ener-gize...

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79. Everybody, so how are we going to energize our office? I mean, I haven't done anything since Christmas. Pam, clearly, has just given up trying. So what we need to do is we get things going, we need to get percolating a little bit. Anybody have any ideas of what we could do. Any suggestions? Yes, Andy?

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80. Zing and pep, see that's those are the kind of words we're looking for. Yes, Jim?

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81. Now we're cooking. I like this. Maybe a whole theme, like a rap. A rap rhyme...

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82. An urban, yeah, Stanley? You wanna help us out with that?... Stanley, earth to Stanley...

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83. Yes you. Come on, Stanley, put your little game down and join the group.

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84. Stanley, we're havin a little...

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85. We're havin a little brainstorm session...

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86. ...Good, this is good. I'm going to grab a glass of water.

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87. Ugh, what?

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88. What are you blabbering about? Nothing happened.

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89. That? In the conference room?

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90. We were joshin around, the two of us, and he said 'did I stutter,' and I said 'wha-wha-wha-wha-what, dawg?' It was joking, Toby, alright?

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91. Well you don't get it, because Stanley is a beautiful, sassy, powerful black man, and you're... you. If you had any friends, you would understand. Friends joke with one another: 'Hey um, you're poor.' 'Well hey, you're mama's dead.' That's what friends do. It's... you're so white.

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92. Mmhmm.

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93. Okay, I will... I'm not feeling very well right now though. My stomach hurts, so I may be going home early today, but...

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94. Well sometimes my stomach hurts when you come into my office, so it's probably psychological.

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95. I, uh, see that you... gave me that form that I asked you to give me, Stanley the manly, so thank you for that. I guess we are back to normal.

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96. Well, you know, uh, the thing that you said earlier, that you didn't mean, um, and that I forgive you for. The whole thing's silly, isn't it? Friends don't need to apologize to friends as far as I'm concerned, so we are cool.

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97. Uh huh...

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98. Great

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99. What's the pink?

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100. Ok... Is there anybody up here, anybody at all, that can deal with this?

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