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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 56)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 56 of 122

  1. I'm gonna have it one of these nights.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18946

  2. Good night.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18948

  3. Um... that wasn't much of an introduction.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18956

  4. Ahh, still lame. Okay. All right. Thank you, Ryan, for that wonderful introduction. Okay, um, today we're gonna be talking... about...PowerPoint! PowerPoint! PowerPoint! PowerPoint!

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18958

  5. Yes I forgot about Ryan's presentation. And yes, it would have been nice to do well with the first presentation he had given me. But you know what else would have been nice? Winning the lottery.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18959

  6. And the best way to start is to hit start. And up comes the toolbar, that's what she said. What we have to do here is go to Run, and then you look up to PowerPoint. And we are in. We are going to register. You hit register--- Updates are ready. I should update. Um, estimated time 12 minutes, so this should take 5 or 10 minutes.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18960

  7. Why?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18962

  8. No, I had a really rough night, and my boss can back you up on that.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18964

  9. My other boss, Mr. Figaro.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18966

  10. What I do between 5:30 pm and 1 am is no one's business but mine and my other business'.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18968

  11. It won't.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18971

  12. Okay, honestly, it was unlikely I was gonna figure this out anyways.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18973

  13. Why don't you do the presentation, because you know how to do it?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18985

  14. Huh, okay.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18987

  15. It's whoever, not whomever.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18989

  16. No, whomever is never actually right.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18991

  17. Not a native speaker.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 18996

  18. Well it sounds right, but is it?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19002

  19. Thank you.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19009

  20. No one, uh, asked you anything ever, so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it into your skull.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19011

  21. I've never done this before. I've never quit anything in my life. So, you are filming history.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19013

  22. Nick, I had a dream last night that I had two full time jobs. One here at the Lipophedrazone diet pill company---

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19014

  23. And the other I was a Regional Manager of a small paper supply company called Dunder Mifflin.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19016

  24. In this dream I did both of these jobs beautifully, and I loved it, and everybody loved me. But the truth is, I can't do this.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19018

  25. I am.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19020

  26. I was never in this for the money. But it turns out that the money was an absolute necessity for me. I tried to live the dream. I tried to have a job, a girlfriend, another job, and I failed. But the good thing about the American dream is that you can just go to sleep, and try it all again the next night.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19022

  27. Hey Kevin, you're a gambler right? A rounder, you play the ponies, small horses.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19041

  28. Yeah, I was thinking about doing some gambling myself. You know, just a little bit of money. Maybe doubling it, and them doubling it seven more times. I don't know, kind of just for fun. I was thinking, do you have tips, or ideas about sure things. Like a boxer who is going to throw the big fight, you know, like, like he's tied into some crooked dealings, maybe his kid is sick or something. Like, who do I call about that?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19043

  29. Do you know anybody in the mob?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19045

  30. Okay, um, Oscar, I'm going to need to take another advance on my salary.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19047

  31. Hey guys.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19060

  32. What'cha talking about? Okay, I know what's going on. You're talking about Jim and Pam, if they're having sex, what it looks like, I know, I think---

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19062

  33. Hey, hey, hey.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19064

  34. Monkey problem? No, I'm not having monkey problems. Why would I have monkey problems?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19066

  35. Oh, I hate monkeys.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19068

  36. I don't have a second job. Maybe I'm having an affair with Suzanne Summers.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19070

  37. I don't talk to my girlfriend about money. It is rude, and unsexual.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19072

  38. I totally agree with you. But I don't have money problems, I don't. Alright, you know what? Watch this, if I had money problems, would I do this?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19074

  39. Yeah, but I destroyed it, it's not even useable anymore.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19076

  40. No you didn't.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19085

  41. How would that help Creed? In Monopoly when you go bankrupt, you lose.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19088

  42. That is a good point.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19090

  43. Like the witness protection program.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19092

  44. I've always wanted to be in the witness protection program. Fresh start, no debts, no baggage. I've already got my name picked out, Lord Rupert Everton. I'm a shipping merchant who raises fancy dogs. That's the life.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19095

  45. I... DECLARE... BANKRUPTCY!

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19096

  46. I didn't say it, I declared it.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19098

  47. Yeah, tell me about it.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19101

  48. You know, Jan has my credit cards, and she's using them as if I'm made of money, she thinks I'm a human ATM machine.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19103

  49. Oh, that's the Muppet Show, on DVD, classic.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19105

  50. That is by far the best way to strengthen your core. This machine, you sit on a stabilizer ball, you put your feet into the power stir-ups, you reach up and you grab onto the super rod, and you twist, and you twist, and you twist. It strengthens your entire core. Your back core, your arm core, the Marine Core actually uses it. I think that's how they got a core.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19107

  51. Mm-hm. That is so cool how you have my name at the top.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19110

  52. Right.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19112

  53. How do they do this so fast? Is this power-point?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19114

  54. No, no, we are going to leave Jan out of this.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19117

  55. We will find another way, we'll ask power-point.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19119

  56. You're a presentation tool if you think I'm gonna tell Jan about this.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19121

  57. No you're not! Ok, just... you're not a tool. Look, we'll tell her that it's bad, but it could've been a lot worse but due to some fancy financial foot work I was able to cut it in half.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19123

  58. She poses.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19125

  59. Um, that's, how did you get that from what Oscar's saying?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19141

  60. What am I doing? I am blowing dodge. I'm getting out of town. Whatever you call it, I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19151

  61. Runaway train, never come back. Runaway and I'm never coming back.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19171

  62. Hey Jan.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19173

  63. Not much, what's up with you?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19175

  64. I'm out of answers Jan.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19177

  65. I told you, no more answers. This is who I am now. A guy on a train with no answers. I hope that can be enough for you.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19179

  66. I don't know that.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19181

  67. I'll stay off the grid.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19183

  68. Yeah it is, it is. I really messed up.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19185

  69. That's really nice of you to say.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19187

  70. I think the engineer left.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19189

  71. Don't sell your implants please.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19191

  72. That's nice though.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19193

  73. It looks cute though.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19195

  74. I used to get offers in the mail for credit cards all the time. They would say things like 'don't pay for six months' or 'you can transfer your account from another card'...

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19196

  75. Do you think I'll get any new ones? I could...

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19198

  76. What do you mean, 'what'?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19200

  77. Were you listening to what I was saying?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19202

  78. What is the matter with you?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19204

  79. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19206

  80. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19208

  81. All right, well, go find some. Get outa here, please.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19210

  82. Yeah. What?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19212

  83. Um, my CDs.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19214

  84. I do.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19216

  85. My CDs are in a portfolio, a rather large portfolio, um, called Case Logic

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19218

  86. And, um the Case Logic portfolio is currently in the back seat of my car. There is another smaller Case Logic portfolio clipped to my visor What?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19220

  87. I've been putting money into CDs for years. I bought music that I didn't even like. No.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19222

  88. I can't.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19224

  89. I can't go back to that.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19226

  90. I don't know if I can do that. I can't see myself spending the next six years digging myself out of that kind of hole.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19228

  91. We will? I can't. I don't have an idea in my head.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19230

  92. I have...

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19232

  93. Okay. What? Um...

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19234

  94. Tell me.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19236

  95. Well, please? I won't tell anybody.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19238

  96. Yeah, I will.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Quote 19240

  97. Yeah! Everything! Oh it's all good, it's all good. Phyllis!

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19301

  98. Dancing babies! I love it! I love it!

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19303

  99. We are making a commercial for Dunder Mifflin today. Our first ad ever. Corporate purchased some air time in local markets to spread the word about Dunder Mifflin Infinity and they are even sending up a professional ad company to help us make it later so... it's uh, not too shabby.

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19304

  100. Okay, it's football cream. It's football cream. Alright! So, anybody else?

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Quote 19314