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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 56)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 56 of 122

  1. I'm gonna have it one of these nights.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18946

  2. Good night.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18948

  3. Um... that wasn't much of an introduction.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18956

  4. Ahh, still lame. Okay. All right. Thank you, Ryan, for that wonderful introduction. Okay, um, today we're gonna be talking... about...PowerPoint! PowerPoint! PowerPoint! PowerPoint!

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18958

  5. Yes I forgot about Ryan's presentation. And yes, it would have been nice to do well with the first presentation he had given me. But you know what else would have been nice? Winning the lottery.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18959

  6. And the best way to start is to hit start. And up comes the toolbar, that's what she said. What we have to do here is go to Run, and then you look up to PowerPoint. And we are in. We are going to register. You hit register--- Updates are ready. I should update. Um, estimated time 12 minutes, so this should take 5 or 10 minutes.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18960

  7. Why?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18962

  8. No, I had a really rough night, and my boss can back you up on that.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18964

  9. My other boss, Mr. Figaro.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18966

  10. What I do between 5:30 pm and 1 am is no one's business but mine and my other business'.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18968

  11. It won't.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18971

  12. Okay, honestly, it was unlikely I was gonna figure this out anyways.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18973

  13. Why don't you do the presentation, because you know how to do it?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18985

  14. Huh, okay.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18987

  15. It's whoever, not whomever.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18989

  16. No, whomever is never actually right.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18991

  17. Not a native speaker.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 18996

  18. Well it sounds right, but is it?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19002

  19. Thank you.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19009

  20. No one, uh, asked you anything ever, so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it into your skull.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19011

  21. I've never done this before. I've never quit anything in my life. So, you are filming history.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19013

  22. Nick, I had a dream last night that I had two full time jobs. One here at the Lipophedrazone diet pill company---

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19014

  23. And the other I was a Regional Manager of a small paper supply company called Dunder Mifflin.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19016

  24. In this dream I did both of these jobs beautifully, and I loved it, and everybody loved me. But the truth is, I can't do this.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19018

  25. I am.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19020

  26. I was never in this for the money. But it turns out that the money was an absolute necessity for me. I tried to live the dream. I tried to have a job, a girlfriend, another job, and I failed. But the good thing about the American dream is that you can just go to sleep, and try it all again the next night.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19022

  27. Hey Kevin, you're a gambler right? A rounder, you play the ponies, small horses.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19041

  28. Yeah, I was thinking about doing some gambling myself. You know, just a little bit of money. Maybe doubling it, and them doubling it seven more times. I don't know, kind of just for fun. I was thinking, do you have tips, or ideas about sure things. Like a boxer who is going to throw the big fight, you know, like, like he's tied into some crooked dealings, maybe his kid is sick or something. Like, who do I call about that?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19043

  29. Do you know anybody in the mob?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19045

  30. Okay, um, Oscar, I'm going to need to take another advance on my salary.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19047

  31. Hey guys.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19060

  32. What'cha talking about? Okay, I know what's going on. You're talking about Jim and Pam, if they're having sex, what it looks like, I know, I think---

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19062

  33. Hey, hey, hey.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19064

  34. Monkey problem? No, I'm not having monkey problems. Why would I have monkey problems?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19066

  35. Oh, I hate monkeys.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19068

  36. I don't have a second job. Maybe I'm having an affair with Suzanne Summers.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19070

  37. I don't talk to my girlfriend about money. It is rude, and unsexual.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19072

  38. I totally agree with you. But I don't have money problems, I don't. Alright, you know what? Watch this, if I had money problems, would I do this?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19074

  39. Yeah, but I destroyed it, it's not even useable anymore.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19076

  40. No you didn't.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19085

  41. How would that help Creed? In Monopoly when you go bankrupt, you lose.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19088

  42. That is a good point.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19090

  43. Like the witness protection program.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19092

  44. I've always wanted to be in the witness protection program. Fresh start, no debts, no baggage. I've already got my name picked out, Lord Rupert Everton. I'm a shipping merchant who raises fancy dogs. That's the life.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19095

  45. I... DECLARE... BANKRUPTCY!

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19096

  46. I didn't say it, I declared it.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19098

  47. Yeah, tell me about it.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19101

  48. You know, Jan has my credit cards, and she's using them as if I'm made of money, she thinks I'm a human ATM machine.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19103

  49. Oh, that's the Muppet Show, on DVD, classic.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19105

  50. That is by far the best way to strengthen your core. This machine, you sit on a stabilizer ball, you put your feet into the power stir-ups, you reach up and you grab onto the super rod, and you twist, and you twist, and you twist. It strengthens your entire core. Your back core, your arm core, the Marine Core actually uses it. I think that's how they got a core.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19107

  51. Mm-hm. That is so cool how you have my name at the top.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19110

  52. Right.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19112

  53. How do they do this so fast? Is this power-point?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19114

  54. No, no, we are going to leave Jan out of this.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19117

  55. We will find another way, we'll ask power-point.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19119

  56. You're a presentation tool if you think I'm gonna tell Jan about this.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19121

  57. No you're not! Ok, just... you're not a tool. Look, we'll tell her that it's bad, but it could've been a lot worse but due to some fancy financial foot work I was able to cut it in half.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19123

  58. She poses.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19125

  59. Um, that's, how did you get that from what Oscar's saying?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19141

  60. What am I doing? I am blowing dodge. I'm getting out of town. Whatever you call it, I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19151

  61. Runaway train, never come back. Runaway and I'm never coming back.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19171

  62. Hey Jan.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19173

  63. Not much, what's up with you?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19175

  64. I'm out of answers Jan.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19177

  65. I told you, no more answers. This is who I am now. A guy on a train with no answers. I hope that can be enough for you.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19179

  66. I don't know that.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19181

  67. I'll stay off the grid.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19183

  68. Yeah it is, it is. I really messed up.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19185

  69. That's really nice of you to say.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19187

  70. I think the engineer left.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19189

  71. Don't sell your implants please.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19191

  72. That's nice though.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19193

  73. It looks cute though.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19195

  74. I used to get offers in the mail for credit cards all the time. They would say things like 'don't pay for six months' or 'you can transfer your account from another card'...

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19196

  75. Do you think I'll get any new ones? I could...

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19198

  76. What do you mean, 'what'?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19200

  77. Were you listening to what I was saying?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19202

  78. What is the matter with you?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19204

  79. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19206

  80. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19208

  81. All right, well, go find some. Get outa here, please.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19210

  82. Yeah. What?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19212

  83. Um, my CDs.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19214

  84. I do.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19216

  85. My CDs are in a portfolio, a rather large portfolio, um, called Case Logic

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19218

  86. And, um the Case Logic portfolio is currently in the back seat of my car. There is another smaller Case Logic portfolio clipped to my visor What?

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19220

  87. I've been putting money into CDs for years. I bought music that I didn't even like. No.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19222

  88. I can't.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19224

  89. I can't go back to that.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19226

  90. I don't know if I can do that. I can't see myself spending the next six years digging myself out of that kind of hole.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19228

  91. We will? I can't. I don't have an idea in my head.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19230

  92. I have...

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19232

  93. Okay. What? Um...

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19234

  94. Tell me.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19236

  95. Well, please? I won't tell anybody.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19238

  96. Yeah, I will.

    Season 4 · Episode 4 · Line 19240

  97. Yeah! Everything! Oh it's all good, it's all good. Phyllis!

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Line 19301

  98. Dancing babies! I love it! I love it!

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Line 19303

  99. We are making a commercial for Dunder Mifflin today. Our first ad ever. Corporate purchased some air time in local markets to spread the word about Dunder Mifflin Infinity and they are even sending up a professional ad company to help us make it later so... it's uh, not too shabby.

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Line 19304

  100. Okay, it's football cream. It's football cream. Alright! So, anybody else?

    Season 4 · Episode 5 · Line 19314