Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 24)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 24 of 122

1. Uh-huh, yes, I can do that. Absolutely! Perfect. Oh, I'm glad it timed out that way.

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2. I really thought these people were my friends. My best friend since kindergarten, Elliot, that's a friend. Best friend ever. I should call him. Wonder where he lives.

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3. Hey, what's going on?

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4. Yeah... I... You know what... I... I... I just thought about it. I just have a few things I want to say.

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5. Hold... Just hear me out. What is more important than Quality? E-Quality. Now studies show that today's woman, the Ally McBeal woman, as I call her, is at a crossroads...

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6. No, just uh... you have come a long way, baby. But I just... just want to keep it within reason.

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7. They did this up in Albany...

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8. And they ended up turning the break room into a lactation room which is disgusting so...

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9. Well, I'm their boss, so I feel like...

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10. Anybody want any coffee or...

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11. Women in the workplace... yeah, translation 'I have been banned from my own conference room so that Jan can talk in secret to all the girls.' Oh! Sorry. 'Women of the workplace.' About what? I don't know. Clothes. Me. Eeegkh!

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7072

12. Everyone. Guys. Circle up, please. Come on over. Bring your chairs. Toby, come on over. You're a guy... too... sort of. Let's do this!

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13. Well, first of all, I, uh, just want to warm up a little bit. Let's just clap.

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14. Let's just clap. Ready? Yeah! Yeah!

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15. That's what I'm talking about!

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16. Just having a little 'guys in the workplace' thing.

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17. Why can't boys play with dolls? Why does society force us to use urinals when sitting down is far more comfortable?

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18. We have nowhere else Jan. This...

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19. OK, OK, Fine. Yeah, actually, perfect. Perfect. You know what? There's another side to this place, gentleman. And I know we all love our cushy jobs and our fun, exciting office. But do you realize that underneath us, there's another world. The warehouse world. A world that is teeming with sweat and dirt and life. Life. The bowels of the office. These guys are down there, they are real men doing real man's work. We are going to learn how a warehouse works.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7095

20. Oh, I think it's going to work out great. Because managing the warehouse is a very important part of my job. And I haven't been there in months.

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21. So let's meet the warehouse! Let's get some shots. Pan around there. This is Darryl, one of our warehouse staff. Darryl, what is your biggest fear?

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22. You know, Darryl is actually the Foreman here and not Roy, which is cool. There's Roy riding the big rig. So Roy is actually going to be marrying Pam sometime this summer. And... uh, she's our receptionist. Sort of a Brangelina thing.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7103

23. Brangelina is the Brad Pitt and Angelina... Roy...

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24. Roy and Pam. It's a Ram. It's a Ram thing.

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25. Uhhuhhuh. Just in case there's someone down here who shouldn't be. A little 'Good Will Hunting' situation. All right. Troops. This is an important day. Big day. Now you may look around and see two groups here. White collar. Blue collar. But I don't see it that way. And you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7111

26. Oh... well... okay... yeah, you know what? I don't think... You.. You're... My job sucks compared to this. I don't think you'd like it up there.

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27. Guys! Want to start unloading the truck?

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28. Check this out! Look at that! Look at that bwup-bwa! Hello! How are... Oh! Kay. That is great. That is good stuff.

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29. Hey, you're going to, going to hurt yourself.

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30. Stand clear.

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31. I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm fine.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7159

32. Oh, oh, oh! We'll get somebody to clean that up.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7161

33. We ought to have this thing serviced.

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34. So! Guy's gripe session. Here we are. Now, we definitely live in different worlds but we have a lot in common. We even like the same girls, some of us. That's going to happen, you know. We're guys, so...

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35. No, why? Why would I... ? You could...

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36. Stay or...

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37. Let's start with the Warehouse. What bothers you as guys, you know?

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38. OK.

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39. OK, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah shhh...

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40. I... That was just...

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41. I was breathing.

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42. I hate shushing. You know, that's the thing! What the... ok... what is our beef as human men.

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43. OK. Alright. Good. Guys ragging on each other. That's what guys do... and we love it.

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44. I feel you.

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45. Yes.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7210

46. Ah, you do. So...

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7212

47. I know. God! What is that?

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7216

48. It blows. It blows, man. Gah...

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7218

49. No. Whoa, whoa. Yeah.

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50. You know what? Is that necessary? Because you already sorta have a union... of guys.

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51. Dockworker's?

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52. Yeah. You know what? I think the problem is the chicks.

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53. The problem is the chicks. And you gotta blame them.

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54. Yeah-es.

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55. This is important. Ladies, take a breather. Jan, I uh wanna... Can I help you? Um... I wanted to say that the guys downstairs are thinking about forming a union. And they have some good points...

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56. Don't get hysterical.

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57. Part of my job is knowing how to talk to women.

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58. Let's... be... rational... here. What are the pros? What are the cons?

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59. Don't talk to me that way please. Just... they're going to want to hear this from you.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7248

60. But we're bonding down there!

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61. I mean I just don't want to have to tell them something they're not going to want to hear.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7252

62. Ok. Come on Jan. After all we've been through...

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63. We have a history...

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64. ...between us.

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65. I won't

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66. I'm just saying we have something... Ok. Whatever.

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67. Cold front coming into the Warehouse. Uh oh! Better put on your ski boots! Woohoohoowoo. Waaaah! Happy New Year, Darryl! Hey,Darryl. You ever done this?

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68. Hi.

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69. Yuh, yuh, yes! I... I have essentially...

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70. I have essentially. Yes. I've taken some...

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71. I'm just going to put this over there.

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72. You did uh... okay.

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73. Pizza. Great equalizer. Rich people love pizza. Poor people love pizza. White people love pizza. Black people love pizza. Do black people like pizza?

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7325

74. Hey. Um... look guys, I'm sorry. Sometimes Jan can be such a bitch.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7326

75. Hey, watch it, watch it. We have a relationship.

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76. Thank you to our hosts.

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77. Ahhh! Excellent.

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78. Is it good to be back. Yeah. I mean I love the guy stuff but to run an office you need men and women. You know why? Because you need to have that crazy sexual tension to keep things interesting.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7332

79. Oh! I don't know, Pam. I paid $400 for this phone because I liked the ring.

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80. And now, I realize that you can program or download any ring you want. So, I'm a little overwhelmed.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7336

81. There's a lot of choices. You got to help me here.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7338

82. Which one of these is coolest? What do you think?

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83. No, no.

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84. Dude, are you kidding me? No. That one says, 'I am so lame.' Know which one I want? There's one that sounds like a jackhammer. Just really grabs your attention. It's like... You know what I'm talking about?

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7344

85. Yes.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7346

86. What are you guys talking about?

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7351

87. Cool.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7353

88. Working on it.

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89. Yup.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7357

90. All right.

    Season 2 · Episode 15 · Line 7359

91. Alright Dwight, as you know I am heading to New York today. Doing a presentation on the branch to the new CFO.

    Season 2 · Episode 16 · Line 7370

92. Nope. The opposite of that.

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93. Ok, good.

    Season 2 · Episode 16 · Line 7374

94. I probably will, why do you ask?

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95. Yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 16 · Line 7378

96. What

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97. This is a business trip. I would have to be a raving lunatic to try to talk to Jan about what happened between us. Her words, not mine. She sent me an email this morning. But, it is Valentine's Day. It's New York. City of Love.

    Season 2 · Episode 16 · Line 7381

98. Hey, Pam. You heart N.Y., right? You want me to pick you up anything?

    Season 2 · Episode 16 · Line 7382

99. Alright.

    Season 2 · Episode 16 · Line 7384

100. Dude, I'm gonna nail it. Me in New York? Oh, I own that city. Fuggedaboudit! See ya!

     Season 2 · Episode 16 · Line 7386