Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 22)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 22 of 122

1. P-A-M. P-A

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2. No it's okay, we're talking code.

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3. Listen Stanley. How long does it take you to pick out a soda?

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4. Alright, well, cool. Still deciding?

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5. Peach iced tea. You're going to hate it.

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6. It's Grrrrrrape! Soda.

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7. Not so much.

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8. Nothing.

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9. Fact: I love grape soda. I always have. Fact: Jim and I talk all the time. We tell each other secrets.

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10. Um, I don't know, yeah, yeah, yeah it is.

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11. Ok.

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12. Good.

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13. Whooo, nice. That was, that was slick. What are you doin' for lunch?

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14. Oh nonsense, no way, no. Why don't, why don't I take you out to lunch? My treat.

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15. Hey you know what we could do? We could spread out a blanket in the break room. Have a little picnic order some 'za. Talk about you know who.

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16. I know just he place.

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17. Oh man, you should order milk. Get it?

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18. Why do I like Hooters? Well I will give you two reasons, the boobs and the hot wings.

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19. Oh, here we go, here we go. Bogy at 3 o'clock. Hi.

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20. We're not worthy. We're not worthy. Hello Dana, I am Michael and this is Jim and we are brothers.

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21. I'm his boss actually. And I treat him well. I'm taking him out to lunch cause I can afford it and he can have whatever he wants.

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22. Tell me Dana, how is your chicken breast?

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23. Mmmm, sounds yummy. I will have a chicken breast hold the chicken.

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24. No, I'm gonna have the gourmet hot dog.

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25. What do you like best about Pam?

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26. Is it her boobs, or...

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27. Really?

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28. Never get's any of my jokes.

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29. Her boobs, definitely.

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30. Oh, thank you.

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31. Ohhh happy birthday Jim!

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32. Woo! Yeah!

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33. Thank you very much.

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34. Hilarious. Hey.

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35. Just go to his house and see if he's sick. I could have done this Investigation in like twenty minutes.

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36. Just do it.

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37. Expenses.

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38. No. It's... I wear it like that sometimes. Is that a wig?

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39. Yeah, it's a business lunch.

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40. No he did not. I don't need his permission.

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41. Uhhh it's ridiculous. They took my card away because I spent $80 bucks at a magic shop. What they don't understand is that I bought the stuff to impress potential clients. So business related, right?

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42. I put a cigarette through a freakin' quarter. And you know what Toby? They almost bought from us.

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43. Look Jim needed a relaxing lunch, he has been depressed and it has been affecting his productivity. How is that not work related?

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44. You're not his friend, you don't know. He is in love with a girl he works with who's engaged. So just cut me some slack. Please?

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45. You know what Kevin? Jim is a friend of mine, so the only people that this crush really concerns is Jim and Pam... and me.

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46. I know, I know, I know.

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47. I, oh, just, um, I know I was trying to, expense reports. And then God, Toby, you know he just... I know. I'm just, I just hope that, I just hope that this doesn't affect our friendship! Stupid, this is so stupid.

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48. Ok, I'm fine, no I know, I'm good, I'm good, it's just.

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49. Yeah I'm good.

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50. Yeah I'm fine. Look, about you and Jim.

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51. No, I feel it's my responsibility as your boss slash friend.

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52. It wasn't that long ago. It was on the booze cruise.

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53. Yehhh, okay, shuuttt it Michael. I'm done. That's it. I'm out.

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54. People are always coming to me. 'Michael, I have a secret. Your the only one I trust.' No thanks, because keeping a secret can only lead to trouble. Like I was watching Cinemax last weekend. This movie, Portrait of a... Prostitute something. Secrets of a Call... More Secrets of a Call Girl. And the lead character, Shila, is framed for murder. She goes on the run and winds up working at a bordello in Malibu. I don't, I don't want to live like that. I like it here. I don't want to be Shila, I like being Michael Scott.

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55. Hello. Pammy want a cracker?

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56. Oh, Pam with the dirty talk.

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57. Oh!

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58. No, he meant to put it right next to the hole, that's much harder to do.

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59. No, no, no, no. I don't want to chip my mug. Please get that off the floor.

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60. All right. Jack Nicholson for birdie.

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61. It's a celebrity tournament.

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62. Do you see it?

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63. Do you feel it?

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64. God... damn it, Dwight! That's great.

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65. That won't be necessary.

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66. Look at all them out there, my little worker bees buzzing away.

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67. No, I am the King bee,

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68. No, King is higher. Then Ace. I am the Ace bee.

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69. Keep. I will finish that later.

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70. Yeah, I know when it's from, Ryan.

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71. Yeah, I rushed a few fraternities, but you know what? I don't believe in paying for friendships. So, I made a decision not to accept any offers. And fortunately none were made. Which was good, so nobody's feelings got hurt.

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72. Thank you, Dana.

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73. Keep the change. Here you go buddy, happy birthday.

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74. You're welcome.

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75. No, no, no, no. I have the long sleeve. And actually, you know what we should do? We should wear them tomorrow to work, it'll be hysterical.

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76. Okay, Tuesday. Whenever. You'd better try it on, make sure it fits.

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77. Spamster!

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78. Hamster.

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79. Welcome back! How was your vacation?

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80. Yeah?

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81. Did you get lucky? Oh! Boink!

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82. I am Pam. Spicoli guy. Oh, God. Names, numbers. Okay. Whoa! God! Yuck, yuck. Yuck. Yuck!

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83. Wow! What happened in there?

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84. There is stink in there, my God! What is... what is that?

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85. Is it a bird?

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86. Oh, God! How could that happen? How could... right in the middle of the carpet.

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87. Um, somebody vomited right in the middle of the carpet in my office.

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88. Check it out.

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89. Check it out. Don't be a wuss, just get... no, I'm not holding your coffee.

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90. What is it?

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91. What is it? No, just tell me what it is.

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92. I cannot believe a pipe burst and left that in there.

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93. How do you know that? What is it, then?

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94. Here she comes. All cleaned? Great.

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95. That is worse.

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96. I am a big Fear Factor fan. I'm a big fan of anything Joe Rogan does, actually, so this is sort of like my audition tape. Um... I can't stand it, I can't stay in here another second. No!

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97. Hey Jim. I thought that we would be desk buddies while they changed my carpet.

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98. Oh... It's ...

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99. Yeah ...

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100. No, no, no! Seriously, I don't mind sharing.

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