Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 21)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 21 of 122

1. Ok, I'll just have the pudding.

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2. Yeh.

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3. You know what? I feel better. Ryan brought me some chocolate pudding and his kindness healed my foot.

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4. Yeah, baby, I am feelin' better. My body's literally healing itself. It is amazing what the human body is capable of when you have a powerful brain.

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5. Uh, finally feel the blood coursing through my foot veins.

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6. Oh, now you feel some compassion for him.

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7. Why don't you go with him?

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8. I can't take you, I don't have my car and yours is all vomity.

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9. Oh, ok, that's, great. No, I can't drive. Jim why don't you drive.

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10. We'll go. I'm still recovering. So let's just, Ryan, could you get my coat please.

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11. Shotgun!

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12. The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout 'shotgun' when you're within the sight of the car gets the front seat. That's how the game's played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion.

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13. Oh, God, a mini-van. What is Meredith's problem?

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14. Well, yeah she has one kid, no husband. She's not gonna find one driving this thing around.

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15. Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, God, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.

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16. I know, just sayin'.

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17. Dwight, what are you drinking?

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18. Give it to me.

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19. Dwight... You just keep your eyes on the road. Give me the bottle or you're fired.

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20. Give it to me Dwight.

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21. Give me the bottle!!

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22. Gimme the bottle, Dwight!

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23. Just give it!

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24. Stop, stop it! Stop spraying! Gimme the bottle!

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25. Stop spraying me! Gimme the bottle!

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26. Dwight, what is your middle name.

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27. Something with a 'K'.

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28. What do I write under 'reason for visit'?

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29. Nothing. I wrote 'bringing someone to the hospital'.

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30. No... you know what Jim, this isn't about me anymore. I made a miraculous recovery, which is more than I can say for him.

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31. Hi Dwight.

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32. Doctor, what is more serious, a head injury or a foot injury?

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33. Well, you don't have all the information. The foot as been fairly severely burned and healed quickly, very quickly, actually like suspiciously quickly.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6315

34. Look since you have the machine up and running, can I just stick my foot, we take a look?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6318

35. Ok, what kinda machine is that?

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36. That's my joke, damnit Dwight.

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37. It's ok, they're with me.

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38. Alright, well, I guess this is where we leave you off.

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39. Uh, well you should of thought of before you crashed your head on your way to pick me up. We'll, see you when you get out.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6329

40. Fine. Fine.

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41. Uh, that's what she said. See, haven't lost my sense of humor. No, no need, it was a non-stick grill.

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42. I always keep a stash of bubble wrap at my house. Some days, hectic, tiring days, I just like to go home and zone out and click on the tube and pop a few. Very soothing. Want to try?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6355

43. Right, I'm gonna spend the day in the hospital, bujehh. Bureaucracy and germs.

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44. Yes, so, no thank you.

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45. What?

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46. Wow, I don't want to hear... you talk. Pam, could I have a word with you in my office? Oh, oh, oh. Alright.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6363

47. Yeah, I've been sayin that.

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48. Did you know I used to be in HR?

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49. I used to be in HR. I was a Hell raiser.

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50. Right?

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51. Alright. Movin' on.

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52. Ry-an. You're here. Whatcha got, whatcha got? Alright, Panic Room, Maverick, Nell, Sommersby, The Accused. Where's Little Man Tate?

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53. Oh come on.

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54. Oh man. It's not a Jodie Foster afternoon without Little Man Tate, buddy.

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55. Mmm, I'm telling you the best cure in the world is comfort food. You know how they say 'stuff a cold'? Well I don't care you've got, the flu, Lyme disease, emphysema, you eat an entire dark meat chicken, you can walk on the moon.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6382

56. No.

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57. No, I'm not calling your weirdo cousin. Twenty-seven years old, never left the beet farm.

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58. Guh-od.

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59. Ok, I'll stand near you.

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60. Next-ish.

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61. Shh shh shh shh.

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62. No. Do you?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6398

63. Ah, ah, ah, what? What? Where's the funny? Give it to me.

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6402

64. What's up-dog?

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65. Oh, oh, wow! I walked right into that. Oh, that's brilliant!

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6406

66. Hey, Stanley, is that jacket make of up-dog?

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67. Mmm, what flavour coffee is that? Up-dog?

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68. I don't know, nothin', what's up with you?

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69. No, damn it!

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6413

70. What does what mean?

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71. Just forget it.

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72. Dwight! Hey is it me or does this place smell like up-dog?

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73. Gotcha! Oh, God. Crap! Nothin' how ya doing?

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6420

74. Damn it.

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6423

75. Today is spring cleaning day here at Dunder Mifflin. And yes I know its January. I am not an idiot. But, if you do your Spring cleaning in January; guess what you don't have to do in the spring? Anything. They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. Well I say that an empty desk means a...

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6424

76. No, that's not... no, that's not what I was going to say.

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6426

77. Yes.

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78. On a Friday?

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79. I will do all the talking.

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80. What difference does it make whether your here?

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81. Hi, Oscar its Michael.

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82. Yechh, yeah, um, heard you were under the weather?

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83. Really? Oh, that is a shame. You know it's cleaning day here today? Could have used some of that famous Hispanic cleaning ethic.

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6446

84. What are your symptoms?

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85. Umm, hmmm.

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86. I need you to go back to bed. I need you to get better. See you Monday. Unless you're still sick. So have a great long weekend.

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87. He sounded sick.

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88. That's exactly what I was thinking.

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89. Yeah. Drop what you're doing. Make this a priority. Because an office can't function efficiently unless people are at their desks doing their jobs.

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90. Wowweee. Mikey likey. Why don't you wear your hair like that all the time. It's much sexier. Man, this must be torture for you.

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6469

91. Hey Jim-bag.

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92. Really?

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93. Who else knows?

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94. Wow!

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95. Jim and I are great friends. We hang out a ton, mostly at work. But, the fact that he told me his secret and no one else knows says everything about our friendship. And it is why, I intend on keeping that secret for as long as I possibly can.

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6479

96. My lips are sealed. My lips are sealed... Bangles.

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6480

97. Can you hear me, they talk about us...

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6482

98. Hey, whatcha gettin'?

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6488

99. Ah, good stuff, good stuff. Did you see the game last night?

    Season 2 · Episode 13 · Line 6490

100. Any of em? So, uh, what's the 411? Any news on the 'P' situation?

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