Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 20)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 20 of 122

1. Idiot.

   Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5930

2. No, no, no. That's his punishment for not being here on time. Too bad, anchor!

   Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5932

3. Your problem now, Captain Jack.

   Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5941

4. Hey. You know what the best way of studying is?

   Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5942

5. Flash cards.

   Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5944

6. You are gonna get seasick if you keep reading in here.

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7. That is a great way to kill this party. Not on my watch. Let's, uh,... Let's rock. Let's rock some stuff here, okay? Okay... I'm hearing a little too much reverb. Can we down the reverb? All right. Follow my lead. Does you guys know that? Take the bass. Take the drums. What?

   Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5949

8. You know what? I don't think it's in...

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9. That's not in tune. I don't know if you can...

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10. ...make much of out of it, Creed. Good luck to you. I don't know. It is a defective ax, my friend.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5955

11. Good luck.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5957

12. Those slide moves are just bush league. I hope I die before I'm old.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5961

13. Yeah! Toast!

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5976

14. That's my line! That's my line, That's... I always say that at weddings. So I'll just think of something else to say. I...

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5982

15. Hey, Jim. You got a hat?

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5984

16. Thanks.

    Season 2 · Episode 11 · Line 5986

17. Pam! It's Michael. Help me! I need help right now.

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18. I'm hurt, I have hurt myself. Oh my God!

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19. Ungh, this is not looking good Pam!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 5998

20. No, I want you to pick me up.

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21. I am hurt. I hurt my foot.

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22. I want to come to work. But I need you to come and pick me up.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6009

23. OH GOD!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6010

24. Oh God!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6012

25. OK, buhhhh, I burned my foot very badly on my Foreman Grill and I now need someone to come and bring me into work.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6014

26. I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me. It's the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot... that's it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6016

27. Pam, could you come get me?!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6017

28. Ok, could someone come and get me please, Ryan?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6019

29. There's no toilet paper here. Could Ryan... tell Ryan to bring toilet paper. Could you tell 'em that?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6021

30. I tried hopping, Kevin, and I bumped my elbow against the wall and now my elbow has a protruberance.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6023

31. No one wants to pick me up!?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6024

32. I'm not sick! I'm burned!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6027

33. Don't... is that Dwight? I do not want Dwight.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6031

34. I don't want Dwight!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6033

35. I don't have a girlfriend.

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36. It was all made up. Just someone come, ok? Anyone. Anyone but Dwight.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6037

37. Hellooo? ... Please don't send Dwight!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6049

38. Morning everyone. Don't freak out. I forbid anybody to freak out. Clearly, I have had a very serious accident, but I will recover, God willing. I just want to be treated normally today. Normal would actually be good, considering the trauma that I've been through.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6050

39. Did you explain why?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6052

40. Burned my foot, Pam.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6054

41. Please stop popping my cast. Thank you.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6055

42. Ha ha ha. So where are you shipping...

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6057

43. Thank you. Pam, messages please?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6059

44. Really, well, it, uh, seemed very important to you earlier that you needed to stay and...

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6061

45. No, your job is being my friend, Pam. OW! God!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6063

46. What?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6065

47. I don't want any special treatment, Pam. I just want you to treat me like you would some family member who's undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. I don't think that's too much to ask.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6068

48. No, I don't want some aspirin, yeah I'm a little fussy. Aspirin's not gonna do a damn thing. I'm sitting here with a bloody stump of a foot.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6070

49. What? Part of your duties are to what?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6072

50. You just said 'part of your duties are to' something.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6074

51. Yes, you did. What is wrong with you?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6076

52. Where is my cornbread?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6078

53. Thank you. Did you get all dark meat like I like?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6080

54. Where are the yams?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6082

55. Did you go to the one in Stroudsburg?

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56. And they had no yams?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6086

57. How strange. Because they always have yams.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6088

58. Pam... PAAAM!?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6099

59. Come here please.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6102

60. I want you to rub butter on my foot.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6104

61. Pam, please? I have Country Crock.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6106

62. Uh, ow. Ryan! ... Ryaaaaan ... RYYYYAN!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6108

63. No, nope, no one is helping me out at all Mom. No, I'm not gonna call Jan. She'd just worry... drive down here and make a big thing... Who told you that? No, it was mutual. What is Pam doing chatting with you?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6119

64. No! Guh! OW! Awww, help, help me!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6127

65. I fell off the toilet. I'm caught between the toilet and the wall.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6129

66. Ugh, not you. Someone else. Get Pam.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6131

67. Get Ryan. He needs to lift me. and he needs to clean me up a little bit. Bring a wet towel.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6133

68. No, he's not.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6135

69. I just saw him.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6137

70. Ugh, forget it. I'll just get up myself. No! Uh, aaaahhh! Ah! Oh God!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6139

71. Can I have everyone's attention please? Phyllis, Oscar, Ryan, who's supposed to be dead, can I ask you all a question? Do you all know what it's like to be disabled? Oscar?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6144

72. No, never heard of it. No, a

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6146

73. Wuh, how, how old are you? Look, the point is, I am the only one here who has a legitimate disability, although I'm sure Stanley has had his fair share of obstacles.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6148

74. Ok, what does this look like to you Stanley?!

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75. Shuuut it, ok, well, well you know what, disabilities are not things to be laughed at or laughed about. You people are jerks. Imagine if you had left Stevie Wonder on the floor of that bathroom instead of me.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6152

76. I burned my foot!!! Ok, twenty minutes, conference room, everybody's in there!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6154

77. While we are waiting for our special guest to arrive, I wanted you all to take a look at a few of the many, many disabled icons who have contributed so much to our society.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6156

78. Good question. Forrest Gump: mentally challenged, Philadelphia: AIDS.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6159

79. I don't think so, no.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6161

80. He grew into a man overnight. Rare disability, still works. A crossword puzzle Stanley, seriously, are you learning nothing here?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6163

81. What you mean uh hmmm... ?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6165

82. Ok.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6167

83. Yes, right in here, come on in.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6169

84. This, ladies and gentlemen, is our special guest.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6171

85. You are so brave. You are so brave.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6174

86. But it's hard for you! Right? Because you're in a wheelchair.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6176

87. Let me ask you something, how long does it take for you to do something simple, every day, like brush your teeth in the morning?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6178

88. Oh my God, that's three times as long as it takes me.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6180

89. How did you get in your wheelchair?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6181

90. Hey, hey, hey, not funny! Not funny.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6183

91. Well, that's good, he still has a sense of humor.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6185

92. Well they notice it. Don't you? You notice it. It's the first thing you saw when he rolled in here, isn't it?

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6187

93. Ok...

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6190

94. Ignore him. You know what? We're not that different, you and I. When I clamped my foot into a non-stick...

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6193

95. Yeah...

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6195

96. Ok.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6197

97. Did you see Born on the Fourth of July? I was under the impression that Billy would be more like that guy.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6199

98. Hey!

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6203

99. You did it! Look at you, and with the plate and the napkin. Very nice. Thank you, Ryan.

    Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6205

100. Did you get the yams?

     Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6207