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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 17)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 17 of 122

  1. The problem is that when people hear the term 'big brother', they immediately think it's scary or bad, but I don't. I think, wow, I love my big brother.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 4941

  2. Meredith has an E-vite from Jim. Barbeque at Jim's tonight. Tonight? Wonder where my e-vitation is. Click on guest list. Angela, Stanley, Oscar, Meredith, Phyllis, Kevin, Creed. Must be... .No.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 4962

  3. There's always a distance between a boss and the employees. It is just nature's rule. It's intimidation mostly, it's the awareness that they are not me. I do think that I am very approachable, as one of the guys. But maybe I need to be even approachabler.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 4972

  4. Of course. Hangin' with my crew, crew that I am one of. Hangin' with my Cup of Noodles. This is a meal in a cup.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 4976

  5. Hot, tasty. Reminds me of college. Lived on this stuff. Brain food. Mmmm... You know what I really, really miss about college? The parties. Everybody'd go. The athletes, the, the nerds, professors.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 4978

  6. Yeah! They were the most fun. We always invited them.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 4980

  7. Hey there.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5006

  8. Almost quittin' time.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5008

  9. One more hour. Take care of anything you forgot to do. Hey, you know, I don't know if you have any plans tonight, but if ya don't, we could hang out.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5010

  10. You have plans.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5012

  11. I do, too. I do, too.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5014

  12. I do, yeah. Big plans.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5016

  13. Tonight, I can't do it tonight, no. Improv class, I have improv class, hanging out with my improv buds-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5018

  14. Yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5020

  15. It's the best. It's the best. I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up, I would definitely not go.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5022

  16. It is. Ok.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5024

  17. What?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5026

  18. Hey, Pam. Do you need me to walk to your vehicular transport?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5028

  19. Alright. Oscar, got big plans tonight with-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5030

  20. Kevin, big man, big man, what are you doing tonight? Where are you off to?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5032

  21. Ok, alright.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5034

  22. Hey, Angela, rushy, rushy. Where you rushin' off to?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5036

  23. Yeah, well duh. Where ya headed?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5038

  24. Liar!

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5040

  25. You are a liar.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5042

  26. Dwight, oh ho, Dwight, Dwight, my loyal compadre. You and I are hangin' tonight. The two of us. We are celebrating our freedom and our manhood. You know what? Why don't we watch that show that you've been wanting to watch, that stupid Battleship Galaxy.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5044

  27. That's, whatever stupid show you want-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5046

  28. To watch tonight

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5048

  29. We're watching it.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5050

  30. I didn't know you played soccer, Dwight.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5052

  31. You, too, Dwight?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5054

  32. Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo, Mr. Cart-air, Mr. Cart-air.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5077

  33. Boom! Detective Michael Scarn. I'm with the FBI.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5080

  34. Think about this; what is the most exciting thing that can happen, on TV, or in movies, or in real life? Somebody has a gun. That's why I always start with a gun, because you can't top it, you just can't.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5081

  35. Boom! Freeze! Michael Scoon, FBI. You know what you did. Boom! Boom! Boom! Yeah, you thought that you could get away with your little ruse, didn't you? Didn't ya!? Well, you didn't, because I know where ya hid the diamonds. I been on to you and your little friends for weeks. Boom! Boom! Boom!

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5083

  36. Boom! Boom!

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5086

  37. Boom! Boom!

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5088

  38. Why

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5090

  39. Well, if you hadn't stopped the scene, you would have seen where it was going.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5092

  40. Boring.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5094

  41. I could of-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5096

  42. Ok.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5098

  43. Yehhhehh.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5100

  44. I'm in.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5121

  45. No, no, no. I'm looking in my wallet for money so you can tell me my fortune.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5123

  46. What are you...

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5125

  47. Nothing.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5127

  48. Good, it's good. Good work, everybody.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5131

  49. So Bernie's, huh? We're all going to Bernie's? Go to Bernie's?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5150

  50. Right, right, right. Well guys, I'd love to go to Bernie's with you, but, you know, I have an office party. A big office party I need to go to, so... Can't get out of it.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5152

  51. Ok, see you later. Nice job, Bill. Not.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5154

  52. Wow! Who opened the morgue for this thing? I'm just driving by, thought I'd drop in. There's some wine. I would love a glass, if you're gonna open it. Here ya go Temp, take my jacket! Oh, come on! That guy? He is a good guy, not a terrorist. Karaoke, I love it! I am a karaoke fiend. I call dibs. I got next, I got next up. Come on, let's get this party started, ha! Ok? Where's that wine?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5164

  53. Ok, yeah, this is a duet, so, need somebody else, Pam? You wanna come up and sing this one? Need somebody else. Takers, please. Baby when I met you there was peace unknown. Kelly? Tried to get you with a fine tooth comb. I was soft inside, there was something goin' on. This part goes to the, uh, girl. You do something to me that I can't explain. Hold me closer and I feel no pain. In every beat of my heart, we got something goin' on. Tender love is blind---

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5165

  54. We're making love!

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5167

  55. Talk! Just talk!

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5169

  56. Shut up!

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5171

  57. Funny story: the way that I got into improv was, I got into improv. The story about me getting into improv was that I was walking down the street, and a race car pulls up, and the guy says 'Hey you're funny, you're the funniest guy I've ever seen, or my name is not Dale Earnhardt.' And that was an improv. Um, the real way is that I found a flyer.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5172

  58. Um...

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5175

  59. Nope, nope. I actually wear a turban sometimes. Wanna see it?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5177

  60. Got it right here.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5179

  61. Comedy; it's funny. It's Johnny Carson, Karnak. It's, um, put it back. Huhhhh, did you have Johnny Carson in your land?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5181

  62. Oh. You were forbidden.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5183

  63. Alright, I'm gonna, uhh, get a cup of coffee. Do you want some coffee er-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5185

  64. Or some tea or hummus or something?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5187

  65. Should have done this a long time ago. Tons of personal e-mails, huge time wasters. Uh, uh huh. Wow, like Kevin, rating the best bars in Scranton? Poor Richard's number seven? Idiot. Stupid load. Yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5192

  66. Yeah, I'm busy right now.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5194

  67. Here's a helpful suggestion for Jim. Jim, instead of e-mailing Amazon, to try and get that CD that you didn't receive, I suggest that you go to Visa and tell them to cancel the charge.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5195

  68. It's seems like ya did though-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5197

  69. Jim. Lots of e-mails to Amazon, lots of wasted computer space. Alright, let's get back to work.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5199

  70. Ooo, bleh bleh bleh.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5201

  71. I don't know. Just felt like taking it off. Man, work can be just so damn frustrating don't ya think, Jim?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5203

  72. I don't know, same old stuff. Same old. Boss just been ridin' my ass.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5206

  73. I don't wanna talk about it. I just wanna hang out, just be one of the guys.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5208

  74. That's not the point.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5210

  75. Yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5212

  76. Ok.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5214

  77. Ok yes, I would never do that.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5216

  78. Ha.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5218

  79. No, this is completely the time, this is perfect time. This is just guys gently ribbing each other, it's what it's all about, just hangin' out. Enjoying friends, all being the same. Worker bees.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5220

  80. No, just bees, just bees hanging out, buzzing around.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5222

  81. I'm not a master bee.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5224

  82. I'm just a bee, Dwight, ok, just a bee, just buzzin'.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5226

  83. Five o'clock. Time to go get my improv on. Little bit of the comedy juice. Mmm. Alright, see if you can guess what this is. That is a dinosaur getting ready to go to improv class. Just a taste of the improv.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5242

  84. I need to know... who shot Johnson!

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5243

  85. Shut up!

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5245

  86. I have a right mind to shoot you right in the head.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5247

  87. Just shut up! I don't wanna hear anything more from you.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5249

  88. Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! No deal. Not with Michael Scarn, FBI. Michael Scarn doesn't make deals. Michael Scarn shoots and then asks questions later.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5252

  89. She was kind of tripping me up, cause she was, um, I was trying to get something going, when I was over her with the gun, and she like kept changing the story.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5254

  90. Well, you kept-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5256

  91. Going into nuclear something; that's not where the scene was going.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5258

  92. Well, it goes, it goes in the best direction, and that was not the best direction.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5261

  93. Well, he, Michael Scarn, that character, orders people around, and that's, you should of just gone-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5263

  94. Well...

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5265

  95. I don't think there's any stronger choice than being a really strong character.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5267

  96. Well, it's, like, well, it's, you know, when refine it, refine a character down to its essence, that's...

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5269

  97. Exactly, thank you.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5271

  98. I appreciate that.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5273

  99. Or Ryan Stiles, something like that.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5275

  100. You shouldn't have been, 'cause you were dealing with Michael Scarn. That was exactly what I was hoping to achieve, so that is probably the best thing you could have said, that's a compliment.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Line 5277