Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 16)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 16 of 122

1. I don't understand why you're so upset.

   Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4687

2. Let me ask you-

   Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4689

3. Ok, let me ask you this.

   Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4691

4. Let me ask you something.

   Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4693

5. Where did you get your outfit?

   Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4695

6. I just don't understand why you have to pretend like nothing happened.

   Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4697

7. Look-

   Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4699

8. Oh my God...

   Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4701

9. What do you want Dwight?

   Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4705

10. Ok, great. Your performance has been adequate. You may leave; goodbye.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4707

11. You wanna talk now, good; OK, Dwight, leave.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4709

12. Why on earth would we give you a raise?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4711

13. You do? How do you get in?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4713

14. That is a serious offense. Very serious. As is toying with a man's heart.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4716

15. Ok, third wheel, why don't you do that?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4719

16. That was deer!? Gross, oh!

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4721

17. Oh, did not!

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4723

18. What do you say, Jan?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4727

19. Ok. You just, uh, clear your head.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4729

20. That's from Superman?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4733

21. Wait.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4744

22. Wait, wait, wait, come, I just, I just wanna know why?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4746

23. Ok, so you're saying that there is a different time or place?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4748

24. Well, ok, well never as in 'never ever ever', or never as in there's still a chance?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4750

25. I just want to know, from the horse's mouth, what is the dealio?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4752

26. Am I too short?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4754

27. Really?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4756

28. I appreciate that, thank you.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4758

29. No, I wasn't, I didn't cry-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4760

30. So my looks have nothing to do with it?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4762

31. Jan is not in a place where she feels she can have a relationship right now. And it doesn't matter how great a guy I am. And that is all I needed; I'm good. I can go home now.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4764

32. Hey, it's 12:20; where the hell's Dwight?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4765

33. Never missed a day, my ass.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4767

34. Oscar, I'm ready for you.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4770

35. So...

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4772

36. Um, you're in accounting...

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4774

37. So, good, good, good. Something to work toward, being here more. I'm a big believer in people being here more.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4776

38. All right.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4791

39. Yup.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4793

40. Absolutely.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4795

41. I am not going to discuss anything outside of Dunder Mifflin business, period.' Okay. Now, why would Jan say she only wants to talk business and then make it clear that she is on her period? God, I don't understand women. How about a clear signal, right? Is that too much to ask?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4796

42. Yes, it is.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4798

43. Yes, I did.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4800

44. Hell, yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4802

45. Yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4804

46. What?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4806

47. Kind of, yeah. Over the shirt, my elbow, but...

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4808

48. Um, yup, wait, yes.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4810

49. No, there... Later there was.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4812

50. Yes.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4814

51. I didn't, you know, it was... It was dark, for one thing.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4816

52. Let's just push on, shall we?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4818

53. It's next. Just keep it. 'Look on the supply shelf.' What? What is that? All right, Ryan, look on the supply shelf, would you?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4820

54. Okay, yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4822

55. Okay.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4824

56. Okay, field trip's over. Come on. Could we please get back to this?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4833

57. All right, don't break any lands-speed records getting back, okay, Stanley?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4835

58. Christ Almighty.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4837

59. All right, next suggestion.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4839

60. Don't...' Okay, that's blank. Don't. Just...

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4841

61. Well...

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4844

62. Crystal.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4846

63. How pleasant. You can...

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4848

64. Okay, I think we're good.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4850

65. Yeah, that got a little out of control. Jan's taking a break, which is fine. I'm doing the same, just chilling. Getting my mind off of us. She's right. I need to be more professional at the office. When I'm at work, I need to focus on work. I should call her ex-husband.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4875

66. Hello, is this R. Gould? Hi there. My name is Michael Scott, I work at Dunder Mifflin. I believe I work with your wife, ex-wife, Jan. Yeah, that's right, yes. Um... I was wondering if I could ask a personal question about her. Mmm-hmm. Okay, well, could I ask anyway? Uh-huh. Well, I'm just gonna ask. When you guys were dating was she sort of easy to get and then really hard to get?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4876

67. Yeah, that Gould is a real interesting guy, a gem. I can see why he and Jan are no longer together. If my conversation with him is any measure of their relationship, he was verbally abusive, he was curt. He was... He had an inability to communicate, shall I say? He was emotionally unavailable. I don't know how she dealt with that as long as she did.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4877

68. Never...

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4878

69. Well, then, Gould wasn't kidding.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4880

70. Nothing, I just...

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4882

71. Nothing.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4884

72. No, I did not.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4886

73. Maybe I did. Maybe I called him, I don't know.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4888

74. I...

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4890

75. I didn't do that. I... Maybe he called me.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4892

76. Ex-husband, you have to let it go.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4894

77. What is an office? Is it a group of people? Maybe. Is it an idea? Of course, yes. Is it a living organism? Exactly, yes. And any single cell organism has to have a spine, and that's me. But the spine is always controlled by a brain, and that is Jan. But the brain needs a heart, and that is me again. So ironic. You know what? The heart is smarter than the brain. But the brain is so effing hot.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4897

78. It is Friday morning and it is another beautiful day in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Oh my God. Ohhh. Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. Oh, we have a serious problem here. Alright everybody, lock the doors, turn off the lights. Pretend you're not here.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4898

79. There's no time to think about if this is real. Just, shh, everybody.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4900

80. The IT tech guy and me did not get off to a great start.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4902

81. Yeah, I tried to install it myself, but, uh, you guys have these things so password-protected...

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4903

82. Oh...

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4905

83. Oh, umm...

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4907

84. Yes.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4909

85. AH! Guh-oood.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4911

86. Please don't do that.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4913

87. I can't tell you.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4915

88. I don't have to tell you anything.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4917

89. Dwight, nothing is going to happen to me, ok? I'm in the best shape of my life. Look at this. Brrr! That's strong!

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4919

90. I'm not going get a brain-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4921

91. Stop it.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4923

92. Uh, oh, ok; if I step on a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and die, you can have my job, ok? Why don't you just go... away?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4925

93. There are certain things a boss does not share with his employees. His salary, that would depress them. His bed, it--- And I am not going to tell them that I'll be reading their e-mails.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4926

94. So how do you search?

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4927

95. Try 'profits'. No! Try 'Michael Scott'. 'Michael' 'boss' and 'funny'. Oh my God, wow! E-mail from Stanley. Stanley, Terribly nice guy. 'Sorry I didn't write back sooner; I can't go to the game tonight because my boss Michael is an ass and making me stay late.' Well, Stanley's an ass. Not one of our harder workers.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4929

96. Oh, no, everybody; Oscar's gone crazy! What other ghost stories do you have for us? That I'm a robot? I will destroy everything in my path-

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4931

97. Beep! Bop!

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4933

98. Bommmm. Bop! Onk onk. Oil can. Oil can.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4935

99. Oh, what? No. That defeats the whole purpose.

    Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4937

100. You know what the problem is?

     Season 2 · Episode 9 · Quote 4939