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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 12)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 12 of 122

  1. Thanks.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3522

  2. I'll call her back. Wish I could fire Sherri.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3524

  3. Okay! I'm sorry.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3526

  4. No?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3528

  5. Bye.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3530

  6. I mean you hear about layoffs in the news, but when you actually have to do it yourself, it is heavy stuff. It's... these are people's lives you're talking about.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3532

  7. Yes.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3534

  8. Yes.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3536

  9. Yeeesh.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3538

  10. Um, Pam, I have to let somebody go today. This is, uh, the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3540

  11. Because it's very scary stuff.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3542

  12. You're worried about the party? There's a man's life at stake here.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3544

  13. No. Or a woman. A human life. If you had to guess, who it would be based on their job performance... and who you think deserved to be fired - who would that be?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3546

  14. And... sometimes you just let it go to voicemail.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3548

  15. I know. I sent away for it in July from a catalog.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3550

  16. Oh, man. Okay, I have to fire somebody.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3552

  17. Hey.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3561

  18. You guys excited about the party?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3563

  19. It's gonna be fun.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3565

  20. Oh, boy... look at you! Haha. Showing your colors. Bet you wish you wore a dress every day.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3568

  21. All good. Happy Halloween. What happened to all those spooky decorations that we had? The cobwebs and such?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3570

  22. Well, you know what? Go buy some more. I'll approve the overages. Sound good?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3572

  23. Good. Oh, yeah, also about budget stuff. Um, I'm going to need you to find, like a, a full employee salary, plus benefits, like fifty grand. I'm going to need you to find 50 grand in the numbers.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3574

  24. Well, that's not what I'm saying. Just, you know, find it. Pretend that your jobs depend on it.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3576

  25. Mmm-hm-hmm. Interesting take on Dorothy. I love it. Hey, you know what would even be better? Soccer ball and cleats.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3577

  26. Bend It Like Beckham.'

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3579

  27. Yeah. That would be perfect.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3581

  28. Well, I don't really have two heads. So...

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3583

  29. Who do you think it should be?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3601

  30. No, Jim brings in money.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3603

  31. Eh.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3605

  32. It's not a popularity contest. Although it does make sense to fire the least popular because it has the least effect on morale.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3607

  33. What? There was someone left off that list? Who?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3609

  34. You're right, I didn't even think of him.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3611

  35. Yeah, that's actually a really good idea.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3613

  36. Yeah... I could.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3615

  37. I'm not saying that's what he said.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3617

  38. What?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3619

  39. That is not a very nice thing to say about him.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3621

  40. Are you kidding?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3623

  41. I agree. He'd land on his feet.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3625

  42. So. How did it go with Stanley? How... how'd he take it?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3643

  43. Ahh, come on.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3645

  44. I don't wanna fire Stanley. I never said that. I'm certainly not going to do it myself. Get those big, baleful, eyes staring at me. Yikes. Just, okay, just...

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3647

  45. Oh, God.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3661

  46. Fantastic!

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3663

  47. What?! That would've solved all my problems.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3665

  48. Oh, you idiot.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3667

  49. If you left, I wouldn't have to fire anybody.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3669

  50. Big deal. Oh, it would've worked out so well. Can you get it back?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3671

  51. You can call. Can you call 'em?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3673

  52. Wohahah! Why are you torturing me?! God.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3675

  53. Can I speak to you a minute?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3677

  54. Help. Me.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3680

  55. I want you to role play firing me. I want you to fire me, and I will take it.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3682

  56. Yes.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3684

  57. I want you to be me, and I will be Creed.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3686

  58. No, no, no. That's just the first thing... came... in head.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3688

  59. Yes, that's a good idea.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3690

  60. Aaaahh! I'm gonna kill myself!

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3692

  61. I'm going to kill myself, and it's your fault!

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3694

  62. Corporate is really breathing down my neck. And they're saying this has to be done by the end of the month.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3696

  63. I... this is Creed.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3698

  64. I'm improvising, so just try to keep up.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3700

  65. And I'm very angry, and I want...

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3702

  66. I'm gonna kill you. I'm going to kill you for firing me.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3704

  67. Get off, get off. No, no. OK.. just get off.Just, just... yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3706

  68. Uh, hey... Creed?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3711

  69. Could I talk to you for a second?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3713

  70. You are great. Very ambitious. And I feel like you want more than this little office has to offer. And I understand that you'd wanna just spread your wings, and fly the coop.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3714

  71. I... we're gonna have to... You... you want something better.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3716

  72. No, you wanna leave.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3718

  73. Why... why are you making this so hard?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3720

  74. I think you're right.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3722

  75. No, of course you can't go. We haven't even started this horrible process of... okay, Creed. I need to let somebody go today. They told me I need to let somebody go. And as much as I think you're a great guy, and I like you, you're... you're, goodbye.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3724

  76. Hmm?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3726

  77. What old days? What are you talking about?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3728

  78. It's right here on the desk, yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3730

  79. I can't, I can't...

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3732

  80. I can't change anything. This is the way...

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3734

  81. I don't... okay, just listen.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3736

  82. Don't...

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3738

  83. Yeah, I went hunting once. Shot the deer in the leg, had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour. Why do you ask?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3739

  84. I have to fire someone today, okay?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3740

  85. Okay, well... I already picked you. And you know that. So, unless I just go through with this, you're always gonna look at me as the guy who almost fired you.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3742

  86. Don't...

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3744

  87. Devon, could I talk to you for a sec?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3746

  88. Well, he...

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3748

  89. Well, maybe I did.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3750

  90. Huh. No! I can't, no. I can't go back. I would look like an idiot.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3752

  91. No.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3754

  92. No. It was all the stuff that I said. It was the business downturn, the cutbacks, and, and...

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3756

  93. I just hope that you and I can remain friends.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3758

  94. Devon, wait, please.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3759

  95. Look, look. In addition to severance, and everything, I want to give you this gift certificate to Chili's. From me. Okay? No hard feelings.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3761

  96. I love Halloween. You know, it's just, it's just fun. Every year, it's just fun. Last Halloween I came as Janet Jackson's boob. It was topical. People got a... a big kick out of it. The year before that, I came as Monica Lewinsky, and I wore a stained dress. The year before that, I also came as Monica Lewinsky. And before that, I was O.J. It was pretty funny. Oh, I wish you were here last year.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3767

  97. He... Hey, hey, hey, hey! How you doing? Wow! You guys looks great.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3769

  98. You look great! And you're a princess?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3771

  99. A fairy princess. You're very... .

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3773

  100. You're a lion. Wow, I want to hear your, your... Oh! Oh, okay, that's all yours. That's all yours. Grab it, grab it. You know what? You guys are getting all of these.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3775