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Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 11)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 11 of 122

  1. Oh, Carol. Hello, how are you?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3091

  2. Good to see you.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3093

  3. Second bedroom for the ladies. I mean, the extra ladies who aren't in my bed, or for friends or family, whoever wants to pop on by to casa de Scott. And right in here... What, what's in here? Uh-oh, bedroom number three. What are we gonna do in there? Limitless possibilities.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3100

  4. What? What are you doing in there?

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3102

  5. Oh, my God. Dwight.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3104

  6. You know what I might do, I might make this into a kids' room.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3106

  7. I will have a girlfriend once she sees this place. I'm gonna get married and I'm gonna have kids.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3108

  8. I'm not gonna date a 55-year-old woman.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3110

  9. No, it's not. Just shut up.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3112

  10. You're an ass. Shut it.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3114

  11. No, you don't.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3116

  12. I'm gonna back out of the deal. Nothing personal, but I feel like I have been taken advantage of here.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3118

  13. This smells of fraud to me. This whole thing just kind of stinks.

    Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3120

  14. Howard, slash Ryan, Ryan Howard is sitting in my office. And he has been a temp here for a couple of months and he's kind of gotten the lay of the land a little bit. Had a few laughs along the way. And now he wants to know what I think.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3128

  15. Shall we? Let us proceed. First up, proficiency in necessary skills. Aaaaeeexcellent!

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3130

  16. Five years from now, what do you want to do? Where do you want to be?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3132

  17. Oh! Good. Ambitious. Excellent. Want to be a manager?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3134

  18. That is ridiculous.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3136

  19. Ryan's about to attend the Michael Scott School of Business. I'm like Mr. Miyagi and Yoda rolled into one.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3137

  20. Much advice you seek. Do you know who that is?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3138

  21. Mmm... No. That was Yoda.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3140

  22. There are ten rules of business that you need to learn. Number one: You need to play to win. But... you also have to win to play.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3141

  23. And I will give you the rest of the ten at lunch.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3143

  24. Hey!

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3144

  25. Yes, I was the first one out. And, yes, I've heard women and children first. But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweat shop. Thankfully. And, uh, women are equal in the workplace by law. So, I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3179

  26. Another rule of business is being able to adapt to different situations.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3180

  27. Adapt. React. Re-adapt. Act. All right? That's rule number two.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3182

  28. So what was rule two?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3184

  29. Okay, well, let's... . let's kind of take it a little slower.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3186

  30. Okay, uh, well, one is taken.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3188

  31. Well, he needs a permanent number, right?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3193

  32. Um, yeah. Okay. That... No, no, no. I got one. I got one. The Three Stooges.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3197

  33. Rule number four. In business, image is everything - Andre Agassi. This car is an investment. Right? If I have to take out a client or I'm seen around Scranton in it. I love it. I love this car. Do you like it?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3224

  34. Wow, some pretty big books back there, huh?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3240

  35. Hello, Mr. Egghead! Woop! So... oh, Stanley Kaplan! I know him. 'M' is for Murder, 'P' is for...

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3243

  36. ...for Phone. What?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3245

  37. Um, oh, thinking about business school?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3247

  38. Really?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3249

  39. So you think you know a lot about business?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3251

  40. Uh huh.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3253

  41. Yeah. Quiz me.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3255

  42. Come on, egghead. Let's do it.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3257

  43. Quiz me up.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3259

  44. Uh...

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3261

  45. When I was Ryan's age, I worked in a fast food restaurant, to save up money for school. And then I spe... lost it in a pyramid scheme. But I learned more about business, right then and there, than business school would ever teach me, or Ryan would ever teach me.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3262

  46. Shut, it. Can I... can I just do it please? Uh, it's equal.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3265

  47. Okay. Yes! It was a trick question.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3267

  48. Okay, Dwight.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3269

  49. You know what, Dwight? You don't need to help me here. Okay? Well, you know... Maybe you should go to business school like Ryan, then... then you'd know what you're talking about.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3271

  50. For instance, why don't you go to business...

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3273

  51. Stop. Dwight. You know what? You're acting like a dork. Would you cool it? Please. Okay. Hey! He's not your five year old brother, Dwight. He's a valued member of this company... and you know what? He knows more about business than you ever will.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3278

  52. I did not go to business school. You know who else didn't go to business school? LeBron James, Tracy McGrady, Kobe Bryant. They went right from high school to the NBA. So... so it's not the same thing. At all.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3280

  53. Look at this stuff. Market fragments. What is that supposed to be?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3281

  54. You are so smart. You are so eff-in' smart. You should be teaching me.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3283

  55. I became a salesman... because of people, I love making friends. But then I was promoted to manager, at a very young age. I still try to be a friend first, but... You know? I'm very successful... your coworkers look at you differently. Huu, what do you think?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3298

  56. Nah, I'm okay.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3300

  57. Oh, hey. Game, what game are we playing here?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3343

  58. Oh, I play this at home all the time while I'm falling asleep. What, uh... . Where are we? Where are we here? Mmm.. Roy? Roy? Who would you do, Roy?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3345

  59. Aaaall right. Who's next, who's next, who's next, who's? Jim? You're next. Who would you do?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3349

  60. Well, I would definitely have sex with Ryan. 'Cause he is going to own his own business.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3351

  61. Who's, uh... Who's next? Who we got? Whooo...

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3353

  62. Wish I had my cell phone, but I left it inside. So...

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3355

  63. What's that?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3357

  64. Yeah.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3359

  65. Dwight. Hey!

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3361

  66. Dwight, don't! He is an idiot. The man is an idiot, ladies and gentlemen.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3363

  67. I didn't say it to him. I said it about him.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3365

  68. How long does it take to find a cell phone? I don't know either.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3374

  69. Seriously, where the hell is Dwight? Hey, call my cell phone. It'll make it easier for him to find.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3378

  70. I gave it to you in the car.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3380

  71. I saw you program it in.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3382

  72. Okay. Alright.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3384

  73. Uh, I better tell somebody. Excuse me, sir...

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3386

  74. Dwight!? Great goin'. God, Man! Why did you go in there? What... Everybody was scared out of their wits, man? Oooh.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3388

  75. Wow. Okay. Well, I guess they don't teach how to operate a toaster oven in business school.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3390

  76. Hey, did you miss that day there, Ryan?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3392

  77. Toaster Oven 101?

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3394

  78. Hey! I know what'll impress everybody, I'll start a fire. Oh, man. Bad idea. Bad idea jeans.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3397

  79. ...since the world was turning.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3401

  80. Okay. Rule five - safety first, i.e. don't burn the building down. Okay? That should be a no brainer.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3438

  81. Oh... look! Ryan is book smart. And I am street smart. And book smart.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3439

  82. I'll give you the rest of the ten tomorrow.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3440

  83. Rule three: Reach for the stars. And if you fail, see rule four. Rule four: Failure is not an option.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3444

  84. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And at the end I will reveal, that they were all just one rule.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3446

  85. Mmm-hmm.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3448

  86. No, I'm not trying to trick him. I'm trying to be a good mentor. So...

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3450

  87. No.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3452

  88. No, come on, Dwight, I have to have 10 of these by lunch, I promised Ryan.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3454

  89. I'm not asking the temp for an extension unless I really need it.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3456

  90. Yes, yes, I ran out first. A captain is always the first one on the ship and the last one off the ship. And this parking lot is our ship when the building is on fire. So, I ran out onto the ship.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3479

  91. When I was Ryan's age, I worked at Arby's and then I worked selling cutlery for a while. Cutlery that could decimate a penny, I kid you not. There were these shears that could cut straight through a penny. So I have life experience and work experience that Ryan doesn't, and will never have.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3495

  92. If I could change the life of one person, just one person. I... Actually, that's shooting kind of low. I already did that when I was born. I changed two people's lives. Mom and Dad. Um, if I could change the lives of 5,000 people... 10,000. No, five. I'd be satisfied with 5,000. I... 10,000 though, that'd be something. Wow, 10,000 people. Because, you know what? Even one is amazing.

    Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3506

  93. Happy Halloween, everyone! Oh... that's great!

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3507

  94. Ohh... OK.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3509

  95. I know why she's calling. It's the end of the month, and I was supposed to let somebody go by the end of the month. And somehow I'm supposed to put on a costume and smile. Okay.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3510

  96. Hey, Sherri. Michael Scott returning.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3512

  97. Well, I'm gonna wait till the end of the day. Because the book said it's best to wait till the end of the day.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3514

  98. I don't know... yet. I will have to call her back.

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3516

  99. Okay... Sherri?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3518

  100. If you were getting fired, how would you wanna be told so you could still be friends with the person firing you?

    Season 2 · Episode 5 · Line 3520