Michael Scott Quotes from The Office (page 106)

Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, World's Best Boss.

12,176 quotes · page 106 of 122

1. Yep.

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2. God. She left this here?

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3. Okay. Maybe she wants me to return this to her at her work.

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4. Yeah. This could be a signal. People don't just take barrettes off.

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5. Well...

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6. Yeah, I know. I know.

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7. I know. You're right. Thank you. Thanks everybody.

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8. [runs down to parking lot, sighs]

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9. Oh. You're still here. I have your baguette.

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10. You know what? Everybody told me that you weren't interested. Everybody. And I didn't believe 'em. And they were right. So... there's your barrette.

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11. Who?

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12. About what?

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13. No, no. No.

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14. No...

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15. What happened?

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16. Really?! Oh, that's great. That's such good news. I did it! I kissed. We kissed.

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17. No, I'm serious. It... this happened. I went down to the parking lot and I was... I returned her barrette We ki... We did. Okay. We did. We did.

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18. You know what? It doesn't matter. Because I know it happened. And that is all that counts. I did do it!

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19. Jim. Are you clicking a detonator?

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20. Get back to work, Dwight. Please.

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21. Ooh! Things with Donna are so... oh-ho-ho! They're going great. I, uh... we're just clicking on every level. Emotionally and sexually and... orally and I am not used to relationships going this well. I'm actually having trouble focusing on my job. And I like it!

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22. Who enjoys the weekends? Of course. Now the weekend is always great if you have someone, which I do. I have Donna. She is hot. She has a Pilates butt. But we need to find something to do this weekend beside have sex. Did I say that? Yes, I did. And the reason you are here is that I need ideas for things that Donna and I could do on the weekend. So just shout it out.

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23. Okay.

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24. Okay, you get out of here, big dog. Ah, no, no, no, no. You guys sit down. I need ideas.

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25. Yeah, well, Stanley doesn't help with anything. Come on. Shout 'em out, shout 'em out.

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26. Oh!

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27. That's fun.

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28. All right.

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29. We actually went to the Poconos last Tuesday. We headed up there, we went to a little Chinese bistro, um, P.F. Chang's.

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30. Because when your super-hot girlfriend says, 'I wanna go to Mount Pocono,' you go to Mount Pocono and you do her. And we screwed. Whoops. TMI.

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31. You know what, Kelly? This is the real world. Not The Real World: Scranton. Oh my God, this is super weird. When Ryan had two girlfriends, he used to take me to some diner in Hazelton just so the other girl wouldn't see.

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32. You guys think Donna's cheating on me?

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33. ... and... we had sex, too.

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34. How?

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35. How do I not make any more of it?

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36. All right. And she won't say, 'I love you.'

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37. Nine dates. I said it on the second date.

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38. Yeah, she does all that.

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39. No, no...

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40. Run what?

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41. Why didn't you just say that, Pam?

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42. Well, that's easy for you to say. You have a bad imagination. It's stupid. I live in a fantasy world.

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43. Yes, Jim, I do. And I can't stay in a relationship that is full of lies and deceit.

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44. That's what makes it so wrong.

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45. Ever since I found out that Donna might be cheating on me, I have not eaten or slept. This not knowing, that's what's killing me.

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46. I want someone to follow Donna. I want her tailed. I need the name of a good private investigator.

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47. This is you. How much do you charge?

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48. I'll give you $50. Money's no object.

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49. Okay.

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50. It's never too early for ice cream, Jim. But we didn't have any ice cream, so this is mayonnaise and black olives.

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51. It's comfort food, all right? God.

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52. I know. Well, I hope you're right. We'll see what Dwight says.

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53. Because I have him investigating her. I'm waiting for a text update.

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54. It's too late to undo it. I need to know. Otherwise this thing is going to spiral out of amok.

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55. God, this is so disgusting.

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56. I know.

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57. That's not true. You're right, I ruin everything. And I've known some wonderful women. Holly, Carol, Jan.

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58. Helene?

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59. Oh.

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60. Oh, yeah. Yes, yes. Yes. All of, all of the greatest loves of my life.

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61. All right.

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62. You're back. What happened?

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63. No, what happened with Donna?

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64. Ugh!

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65. No. No! Are you sure?

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66. Who eats eight protein bars?

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67. Okay. Well, I am just glad this is all over.

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68. What? No, she didn't say that.

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69. I am not paying for that membership.

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70. Ohhh... mmm...

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71. No, I like the attention. Is she here yet?

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72. That's her?

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73. Mm-hmm. Right. Right. Right. Okay, I'll talk to you later.

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74. I didn't. Everybody else here did. Everybody convinced me that something was up. They poisoned my mind.

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75. Ye... pfff. Well, no. It's a lie. That's not what happened. I just like you. I can't believe I get to be with you. You work at an adult arcade. You could have any man you want.

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76. If you wanna dump me, I totally get it.

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77. Well, you are boner-ific.

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78. ...poop my pants.

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79. Oh, my God, Vero Beach. No. Is that on the water?

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80. We are?

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81. Wow. That's exciting.

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82. Hey.

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83. Well it can wait. It can wait.

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84. Jim is her husband.

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85. And they are having problems, so sh...

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86. Good in bed.

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87. Oh, my God. Look at how cheap street level rooms are. Am I the only person who enjoys people watching?

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88. Okay, weirdo.

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89. Yeah, I just remembered that I have to go to the bathroom. Pam?

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90. Who the hell is this? Who is this guy?

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91. God! Lowest of the low. That guy. Just a notch above Toby. You know what?

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92. I'm gonna kill him. No, I'm not. I feel... I... no, I'm not going to kill him.

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93. I have to hear it from her.

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94. I need to have her tell me herself. Right?

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37788

95. I need to have her say...

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96. I need to say, 'What the hell is that? What the hell is that?'

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37792

97. No, God! No, no, oh, my God!

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98. Okay. Okay. Okay.

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37796

99. You know what? We should really do something fun this week.

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37798

100. Wouldn't that be fun?

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